My Life

[varunsrisrimal]

Today I realized how my mom has been feeling her entire life. But I am also glad how she is changing herself and trying to be happy.

One thing I love the most about my parents is that, they taught me to be Good. Be good to everyone in life, even enemies. Taught me to help everyone that I can and be humble to all. But they never told me that it's the good people that get hurt the most. That's the part I wish they told me.

I have learnt one thing, "Everyone is busy in life. If someone takes time to talk to you in their busy life; don't lose them. Because when you do, you will lose them forever."

[varunsrisrimal]

Here I am, back again to Tumblr.

Last post was back in October 11, 2017 and a whole of things have changed in my life.

Even-though I was happy to have a job as a Software Development Engineer at Grand Vision Gaming, it wasn’t what I wanted to do in life. So I started my hunt for a new job. At first for a few weeks I was applying everywhere possible in the gaming industry with no luck.

After getting feedback on my resume from a couple of people and using LinkedIn extensively, I started getting some attention with the likes of EA, Jam City, WarGaming and so many more. Interview process with Scientific Games was going slow but good and I knew I will definitely get that job. But just before Christmas 2017, a recruiter from Zynga Games got in touch with me. Of all the jobs I applied for I wasn’t expecting a call from Zynga Games because I had applied for Principal Software Engineer which requires 5-7+ work experience. 

Upon asking he said that they really liked my resume and would like to interview me. This position was all about C++ programming language and its been 2-3 years since I used C++. So I asked for a week’s time before I could take a technical interview. After first week of January, I had my first interview with Zynga and it was on Zoom (Zynga uses zoom for video calling). I had little bit of personality type and experience questions and then had a coding interview. Except for one or two okish answers everything else were on point and/or more than they expected from me. They said that they know I had applied for Principal Software Engineer position but I don’t have the experience for it; however they loved my resume and my work and wanted to talk to me and may be open a position for Software Engineer. That right there was enough for me. At that point I didn’t care if I heard back from Zynga because I was happy to know that they are ready to open a position just for me.

I heard back from the recruiter in an hour after the interview saying as of now he heard positive feedback but still not sure. By the end of the day I got a call from the recruiter again. He said and I still remember, “Varun, I know they already told you this but although we don’t have a software engineer position open as of now we really think it will be worth opening to have you on the team *at this point I was jumping because I know I passed Round 1*. We would like to move on with you to Round 2 where you will be flying to Austin office and meet our team and have few technical rounds.” I said I am happy to fly over to Austin and meet the team. Recruiter ended up asking what my plan was and if I was interviewing with someone else. I had already scheduled a onsite interview with Scientific Games at Cedar Falls and I like to be honest; so I told him that I am flying to Cedar Falls next Monday but I am free after that. I also told him that Zynga is my first priority. He said he would love to fly me out the next day but he understands I need time to prepare. 

He calls me an hour later saying that I will be contacted to know the best dates that works for me to fly to Austin. So I had 2 onsite interviews consecutively and then had few other interviews going on that were in round 2ish and about to start. I missed my connecting flight to Cedar Falls and ended up driving from Minneapolis to Cedar Falls (3hours drive) and barely made in time for the interview. I had no time to use restroom or drink water and was in interview for 2-3 hours. It went well but then another team in the same Studio also wanted me. So they interview me again on Skype next week. Interview with Zynga went great. It started kinda slow/bad but ended very well. Studio was fucking awesome and people were too. I got to stay in Austin for a whole weekend and I was in love with Austin already. Next week I got job offers from both Zynga and Scientific Games. 

Ofcourse, I chose Zynga and now I am in Austin, TX working as a Software Engineer for past 2 months. I am developing and working on mobile games right now.

That was all the good, don’t let me start on the bad parts. Anyway, its getting late I will write more in the next days!

Goodnight

[varunsrisrimal]

Only if life was easy.

Only if I could make a difference.

Only if I could help.

Only if I wasn't lost.

Only if God existed.

[varunsrisrimal]

Long time!

I am back for now. Its been a longggggggggggggggg time since I posted anything here.

Firstly because I have been busy with life and with the free time I have I either take rest or play games. Had traveled to India twice last year (October & December 2016) for brother’s engagement and shopping.

Secondly, which I just realized that I usually end up writing blogs when I am depressed, angry, lonely, just not in mood & even playing games is not helping me.

I have had such days in the past months as well but usually I end up sleeping or driving or playing games. 

So you might be wondering why am I writing a blog today after so many months? Well, I had a really really really bad day today. A bad week in general. Nothing was going my way. I don’t want to get into details of what had been happening/happened but it was BAD. So much so that I started questioning every decision I took in the past few months/years. Feels like everything I have been doing is wrong. I know its not but that is how I have been feeling recently.

My family is busy and hardly has time to talk and the time difference makes it even worse. My mom keeps asking me “Whats wrong, you sound dull/sad?”. Mothers are just awesome. I didn’t tell her anything and I trying to sound normal but she knows something is wrong. I am not telling her anything because she has lot to worry about already. Few friends I have, I am not sharing with them either (you might be one of those few friends) because time difference makes it really difficult to talk to them and moreover everyone is busy with their life as it is. 

With how things happened in my life in the past few years or I should say a decade, I have been very tough emotionally but which I mean I get hurt emotionally really easily but , I cannot cry. I just cannot cry. Every human being cries and it is okay to cry. Right now, I feel like crying but I don’t know why, I just cannot cry.

Writing this makes me feel much better about the entire situation and with that I will end this for now. I will try to be more active from today for the next few weeks before I leave for India again for my brother’s wedding.

[varunsrisrimal]

It feels good when you recycle more than 200 bottles of water. I did something good for our environment. Proud of myself.

[varunsrisrimal]

Calvin Harris - My Way (Lyric Video)

Calvin Harris - My Way (Lyric Video) Download Calvin Harris' new song 'My Way': http://smarturl.it/CHMyWay?IQid=yt Listen to Calvin Harris' new song 'My Way'...

You are the one thing in my way, you are the one thing in my wayyyyyyy!

I have heard other songs of Calvin Harris and for the most part I have loved it. Heard this song on radio when I was driving and I loved the song, but I didn’t know it was Calvin because his voice was weird. When I looked up I was amazed. Seems like he wanted to have a thick voice for this song so he coughed for 2-3days or something. Not sure but yea, Love this song and its worth sharing!

[varunsrisrimal]

Sick of being Sick!

Fuck dude. Past 2 weeks has been shitty. Been sick pretty much for 2 weeks and it sucks so much. My house is a mess,again, I have not cooked in 2 weeks and what not. Cold,cough,fever & throat infection first. It was very bad that I had to go to a express clinic once and took off from work for 2days. Almost recovered from that and this past Monday I thought everything is back to normal and I will be fine. Tuesday evening I decided I will start cooking from Wednesday and went to Taco Bell to get some dinner. Came back home and after sometime had severe pain back/side and it started paining everywhere around my stomach. Took a medicine that I thought might help. I have never been in so much pain before and I was screaming out in pain. After sometime I started puking out all my dinner. For 2 hours, I was puking or just feeling nauseous. I have never puked in my entire life until Tuesday and it was so bad. Screaming in pain & cursing Taco Bell. Called bro and mom, and mom asked me to take some salt & jeera (cumin seed) with water. That helped me instantly and I could sleep for 20mins and I woke up again to puke. Took salt and jeera again and slept. Woke up for work and I was feeling just fine. It was weird. I am like WTF! Came home for lunch and made some rice. Had rice with parupapodi. Went back to work and an hour later I had the same pain. Had to tell my supervisor and leave right away. Same pain, same shit once again! Puked all my food out screaming out in pain. Took meds, salt and jeera and felt a bit better. Went out to get some lemon to make lemon juice. I stopped eating and was just drinking water and Gatorade. 

Pain got severe again in the night but I somehow managed it. Never been in such severe pain and going through this alone with no one around made it worse. Gotta do what you gotta do sometimes. I screamed a lot in pain & missed my mom a lot. Anyways, next day I sent an email to my HR and Supervisor that I cannot work that day. HR said I should go check with a clinic or hospital because there has been a stomach flu around with same symptoms I have. Went to a same day care clinic for the first time. Kinda confused of how thinks work here but they did some test and doctor thought it might be kidney stone or flu. Tests were fine for kidney stone so he said it is flu and gave me some antibiotics. I was said it is gonna cost more than $200 for just this small visit and stuff. Kinda expensive but when I walked out to receptionist they said I will get the bill in 2-3weeks mailed to my house. I was surprised & kinda worried. Because I wanted the bill to submit it to my insurance company and claim that ASAP but I guess I have to wait. Medicines helped me very well. When I informed my HR and supervisor about the flu, they asked me to stay home on Friday and take rest with a long weekend. I have already missed 4 days now, which means my probation period will be pushed by 4 days and my paycheck is going to be very small. I was worried about the bills and stuff but I think I will be fine... Checked my mail box and I was happy to see my new insurance ID. I signed up for insurance through my company so that I don’t have to worry about paying upfront for medical stuff, send documents to Mumbai office which costs shit ton by itself. Got home and after sometime the pain started again. It was bad! I couldn’t take it. Called mom and bro, said them about the pain. They asked me to take some med and stuff and ask for someone’s help and go to hospital.

Well I do have colleague’s who are awesome but I don’t know them well enough to call them at 8pm to take me to hospital. I have never been to hospital in my entire life and specially not here in US. Little worried and not sure what to do, called up alexus and asked her help. Drove to hospital with alexus and went to Emergency Care. They took my vitals and since they were very busy I had to wait until I got a room. The pain was just getting worse but now I couldn’t scream because I was in the hospital. Finally I was given a room. Had to change to a hospital gown. It felt so weird. Man, life has took such big turns in past week. Bad luck I guess. I had to get admitted in a hospital, that too in US, without any family member around. Argh!! A guy came in to draw some blood for tests. Told him its hard for people to find my nerve. He took good 2mins to find a nerve, but he fucked up. Couldn’t find it after poking in & I was in pain. He fucking moved the needle around and I was like dafuq dude! Anyways he found it and then nurse came in. Asked me for my pain level and other stuff. Said doctor will be here shortly. Fucking 30mins past by no one shows up. Pain was severe and I was in anger. Called nurse twice saying I am in pain and all she said is doctor will be here shortly. 

I am so grateful to alexus. If it wasn’t for her I would have been in more pain and frustration. She rubbed my feet so I can feel better. It helped me a lot and just few mins later doctor came in. Told her everything & she said they will get a CAT/CT scan to see if there is any infection or kidney stone or anything else. Also asked the nurse to give me some morphine and another pain reliever. Holy shit! Morphine is fucking good! My pain just diluted in few mins and I was almost asleep. Alexus walked out for a bit to get fresh air and I was taken to the CT Scan room. They told me that they are going to pump a medicine through the IV to my body which will make my body feel warm and make me feel like I peed my pants. Lol! It was funny and I thought he was kidding. But hell no! It warmed my body a lot and I really felt like I peed my pants haha! After the can I was taken back to my room. I got little bit of sleep. 

Alright I will continue this post later. I am tired.....

[varunsrisrimal]

I’m too good to you I’m way too good to you You take my love for granted I just don’t understand it

[varunsrisrimal]

I love Nature! Love looking at city/town from far away, standing on a mountain, with a cold and windy weather! Best day of my life in the past few months and all thanks to Alexus for taking me to this amazing place and for this picture.

[varunsrisrimal]

Atif Aslam, Tajdar-e-Haram, Coke Studio Season 8, Episode 1.

Atif Aslam, Tajdar- e -Haram, Coke Studio Season 8, Episode 1. #CokeStudio8 A tribute to Sabri Brothers Produced by Strings

As usual, I stumbled upon this song from YouTube recommendations. Atif Aslam is my favorite artist from Bollywood & I pretty love all his songs. I played this song with no hesitation and as usual his voice is just amazing. Loved the song, the music. I believe there is a bit of urudu in this song and its just beautiful! I like to listen to this song when I am drinking my green tea before bed. Green tea, by itself is relaxing and soothing and listening to this song with it just takes you onto a different level of relaxation.

[varunsrisrimal]

Alright its been a while. I have been very busy lately. Work has kept me for most of the weekdays and on the weekends I am busy exploring Montana, or being lazy or talking to friends and family. Lots of stuff happened over the past week and the weekend before it and I am gonna do a quick recap of it. Made samosa chutney for the first time which turned out pretty good, did some shopping, bought gift for alexus, alexus birthday cake, birthday fun, hectic work week, vegan cake from Dustin and Jenn, Farmer’s market with Dustin and Jenn, a bonfire night with Elizabeth and her neighbors, video call with nelima, neelam, bhaiya and bhabhi! So many good stuff happened over the past week and the weekend. I am in love with Montana! Beautiful places around! I have been wanting to go on a road trip. This weekend if everything works out, might go to Bozeman, or go camping. Not sure lets see what happens this weekend. 

Finally, met bhabhi, as in saw her live on skype. Me and nelima were on IMO & Facebook Messenger talking for sometime and then neelam joined us. We switched to hangout so we can group video call. Spoke for almost an hour and then neelam got disconnected & nelima went to bed. Just at that time I texted my brother to see what he is upto and he said he is on skype with bhabhi. So I joined them, spoke for 15-20mins. Neelam came back online, so I left the call with bhaiya and bhabhi ( gotta let the love birds talk :P). Spoke to neelam for sometime... ok more like 3hours. Old me and neelam conversations. It was so good! After 4-5 years, we spoke so much just like good old days! Missed our conversation all these years! We both are still the same when we talk to each other. Always making fun of each other & sometimes little emotional! Made some Paneer butter masala today. Had it with Frozen Naan I bought from Costco this weekend.

Anyways, time to go get some sleep. Its pretty cold today. Good night :)

[varunsrisrimal]

Tum ho toh, gaata hei dil Tum nahi, toh geeth kahaan !

[varunsrisrimal]

I feel like I am now used to people walking away from my life. I have learned to move on with it and not to let anyone be closer to me, ever.

[varunsrisrimal]

I wish I could sleep.....

[varunsrisrimal]

Lazy Saturday

I slept at around 5am. Yea I have problems sleeping. Insomnia. Most of the times its really hard for me to sleep. When I came to USA for thrme first few months I would sleep by 10. But few months later, things changed. I started having late night classes, staying up late studying and completing peojects/assignments and sometimes stress or tension would keep me awake. Most people, atleast from India think its easy to be here in USA. Not many understand the hardships and they will not know until they go through it. Ranjith called me last week and he was saying how he feels left out and weird here in USA. I am trying to help him as much as I can but he atleast has me. I had no such friends at that time. So it was hard but I am happy I had that experience. Woke up around 9, spoke to mom and bro for a bit and slept again. Woke up, took a shower and had to run to my bank for some questions. Then had lunch at indian restaurant. It sucked. I paid way too much for such shit food. I should have just cooked at home. Went to Lucky's market, did some grocery purchase and came back. Played few league games and then wanted to take 2hr nap. Called dinesh bhaiya because its been a while I spoke to him and it was his birthday too. He was on his way back home from the match in Florida between India and West Indies. Right when I was about to sleep alexus sent a pic of her sister's wedding. I kinda wanna go to a American wedding just to see how it is. 2 hour nap turned to a good 4-5hrs sleepm Woke up at 11 and played games till now (5am). Called bhabhi at 12 30pm and wished her. Its her birthday! Happpy Birthday bhabhi! Tomorrow morning is gonna be awesome. I am going to make samosa and chutney. I hope it goes well. And then I need to clean my place :/ Weekend is already over, goddamit.

[varunsrisrimal]

Daft Punk - Instant Crush ft. Julian Casablancas

Daft Punk's official music video for 'Instant Crush' ft. Julian Casablancas. Click to listen to Daft Punk on Spotify: http://smarturl.it/DaftPunkSpotify?IQid...

Daft Punk, as I have said many times in the past are my favorite artists. I love them and all their songs. This one however I didn’t quite like the first time I heard it. Jacob played this song once in the car and I kinda just forgot about it. Later when we were working on our 3 month project he played this a few times on repeat. And later I loved it. Read the lyrics and realized its amazing as well. And then all of a sudden this was added to my favorite songs too. I know I know, you might be thinking my favorite song list must be really big. Yes you are right haha!

[varunsrisrimal]

Everyone's Got A Story by Evan Blum feat. Loren North

CLICK 2 SUBSCRIBE PEEPS! http://bit.ly/1S9HzCy Subscribe to Lauren’s Channel! http://bit.ly/1HdhEsY Currently Looking for producers to collaborate with! Emai...

Since I have all the time in the world, not sleepy and nothing to do I might as well share a few songs tonight. This song is just A M A Z I N G. I am open to any genre of music and always listen new songs couple of time to decide if I like it or not. But there are some songs I love instantly/first time I listen to it. This is one of them. Music is simple and the voice is amazing. I knew Evan Blum for his song “Two Girls”. Alexus was the one who shared this song with me & yea I loved it. Deep message, amazing lyrics, great song on the whole. Worth sharing!