cigarettes n sorrows

[vcsxo]

G E N E V I E V E

“  do you wanna try your luck on the chair  ?  ”  she questioned with a teasing smile  ,  nodding towards the chair she had in front of her where the kids hadbeen sitting down before saying they wanted to be spiderman or  ,  somehow  ,  george washington  ,  an actual request she had no idea how to pull through  .  “  do you trust me  ?  i promise i won’t draw anything embarrassing  .  “  she assured him  ,  even when that sounded exactly like what someone would say just before drawing something embarrassing  .

“  you think  ?  i mean  ,  i would agree but only because i hate haunted houses  .  my dad loves them  ,  so he used to make me get in with them and whenever people would jump out and scream to scare him he would just scream back at them  .  ”  she laughed to herself as she remembered her trips to those attractions with him  .  “  me on the other hand  ?  when i was 13 a guy jumped out from behind a door to scare me and i accidentally punched him on the nose  .  never again  ,  i’m a safety hazard  .  ”

                  eddie looks down with a charming yet teasing look, peaking up at her with a risen eyebrow.    after a chuckle,  a gentle yet bubbling one he just nods his head.   “i trust you,”  he hums,  and yet it was sincere in a subtle manner.  he had no reason to believe she’d screw him over.                            he was glad she had another antidote that correlated to her life,   bright eyes and a cheeky grin.  he loved hearing her stories,   she was animate and interesting and he loved more not having to explain the turmoil of heading back to work.   he just kept his eyes on her and lived in her story with her.   laughing along side the brunette and setting himself down comfortably in her face painting chair.    “dang,”  he muses squinting one eye,   “i know never to scare you huh ??” teases the singer. 

[cheatcodcs]

[vcsxo]

G E N E V I E V E

part of genevieve  ,  the insecure part  ,  told her that it had been one moment in time  ,  and once they both got back into their lives after their impromptu work session he’d forget about her much like any cool guy in literally any high school movie  .  it wasn’t like she didn’t expect any better from him  ,  she simply didn’t expect any better for her  ,  so finding him there put a brilliant smile on an already cheery face  .  “  i do think you’d make for a dashing carrot man  .  ”  gen giggled  ,  appreciating his costume as he waved his cape  .  “  how’s the haunted house going  ?  “  she wondered  ,  turning her attention for a second on the paint brush she was cleaning now that she had no kids waiting to get their faces painted  .

                   it might’ve been the flash of one afternoon but he wouldn’t soon forget her after that encounter.    his thought process managed to float back to her at times,   he wasn’t sure if it was a little silly crush forming,   or he’d made a genuine connection with someone for the first time in a long time.                            he laughs a bright and effervescent laugh, tilting his head side to side to show off his features.     “i can see it,  definitely could be a carot man,”  he jokes,  a colgate smile being left behind.      eddie has a slight nervous laugh that leaves him at her question because truthfully the haunted house had been hell.   and he was glad to have escaped even if it was for a brief break,   “eh boring,”  he says with a shrug,   but that might not be the whole truth.    “seems way more fun over this side.”

[vcsxo]

A S T R E A

rotation time in the haunted house, aka, the part of the day that gave astrea the most anxiety. it seems there were scarier things in the haunted house besides the fake blood and ghouls. astrea walked into her new position and took survey of the room. she was almost relieved until she noticed a very familiar face. there was a sinking feeling in her stomach as she looked forward. “are you in this room, too?” astrea asked, already knowing the answer but hoping it was a mistake. @vcsxo​

                    he was stuck in this constant and bitter reminder of his past,   and listen,   maybe he wasn’t on some life changing path of restoration but he knew what he did was wrong.   and maybe the right answer was to face it head on and apologise,   but no,   this is eddie and he’d rather avoid it entirely.  dodging stares and  pretending nothing was wrong.                                                                          he gave her an awkward smile and swayed on his feet,    “uh yep,”   he nods before,    “so you too huh ??”

[vcsxo]

G E N E V I E V E

@vcsxo​

gen felt from the second she found out about the arragements that the face paint station was the best place to put her during the carnival  .  flowers and a rainbow already adorning her cheek and forehead  (  she figured not having her face painted at that point would be much like a tattoo artist with a fear of needles  )  ,  she was more than happy spending her time chatting up little kids and painting their faces with whatever idea their little hearts desired  .  looking up as a little boy who insisted he wanted to be a pumpkin  (  who was she to judge if he felt halloween in his soul  )  walked away  ,  her smile soften into a more genuine one as she noticed the male nearby  ,  “  if you’re in the mood for it i can paint you a mean carrot  .  ”  she offered  ,  waving her still orange brush playfully  .

                he wasn’t exactly against the idea of being in the haunted house,  granted he couldn’t exactly act or anything but jumping out at a few kids ??   he could manage that.   what he didn’t expect was the line up of people with him in the house,    and he was hoping to god gen wouldn’t come at the wrong time to see his past come up and bite his ass in the present.                                 so he figured it would be better for a breather to take a wonder over to her,   escape the madness and see a pretty and warm face that actually wanted to welcome him.   and eddie just stood there watching her with a bright smile,  nodding subconsciously at her natural talent for all things creative.    “i really think the carrot would go with my look,”   he joked gesturing to his little devil costume,  waving the red cape dramatically. 

[vcsxo]

G E N E V I E V E 

“  i’m the master of my own laughter  !  ”  she assured  ,  even if it consisted more on taking deep breathes not to keep laughing as she saw him  .  at the moment she didn’t know if she could control it  ,  but she was sure that they could spend the rest of the day just laughing and never getting anything else done  .  

it wasn’t something common for the girl  ,  finding it so easy not only to just be unapologetically herself  ,  but also admit to parental struggles probably only her therapist had ever heard about  .  she had dated guys for along time who didn’t really had the first idea of who she was  ,  or what she liked  ,  or had ever made her laugh until she snorted  .  genevive smiled as she heard him  ,  nodding her head as he finished the saying  ,  “ i love that  .  ”  she assured him  ,  “  and i mean  , in the end isn’t that what matters the most  ? that one person who wants to eat you  …  ”  she stopped on her tracks as she heard herself  ,  her eyes widening a little bit as she held his gaze back before she threw heard head back  .  “  fuck  !!!  ”  she breathed out  ,  “  i’m not  …  i’m not gonna say anything else  ,  ever again  ,  thank you for everything  ,  nice to meet you  !  ”  she went on dramatically  ,  running her hands down her dress as she stood up the chair  ,  fully committing to the charade of walking out the studio  .

            this whole moment seemed too good to be true,  like there was some sort of spark surfacing and he could ride the wave without being too concerned about what was happening or the outcome. eddie could be an over-thinker,  had anxious tendencies,   sure,   but he was rather calm and rational for the most part.   he could hold himself in almost any situation,  looking un-phased and put together.                                    and maybe his naturally nonchalant disposition isn’t helping her anxious mind.  because he can feel her getting more tense.  he can feel the energy shift in the room as she catches on to the fumble on her words.   at first he’s smiling ear to ear,   chuckling and readying himself for some cheeky and teasing response.   but eddie doesn’t even have time for that as her eyes shoot wide and she’s shooting up from her seat,   “stop,”  he says,  this time more serious but just as gentle.   taking her shoulders and looking down at her with calm eyes.     “you don’t have to worry about what you say,”   he says assuringly,   “if anything i like your little,”  he gestures with his hands,  “words slips.”                      “you don’t need to feel embarrassed.”

[vcsxo]

G E N E V I E V E

“ noo stop that  !  ”  she called out  ,  using both hands as she tried to keep her fit of laughter at bay  .  she was pretty sure if anyone were to walk in the pair would look like they had completely lost it  ,  and the more they laughed the less they’d be able to explain to anyone else what was so funny  .  “  we’re done laughing  ,  you hear me  !!  ”  she pointed a finger at him  ,  but even as she did she had to bite down her own giggles  .

genevieve looked at him  ,  and while it seemed like he could’t exactly find the way to articulate it she felt the compliment all the same  .  she had grown up thinking some things were more valuable they were felt rather than told  .  and she would take that attempt at an explanation over a rolling stone’s article on her work any day of the week  .  “  thank you  .  ”  she appreciated it  ,  not getting lost on her that just that day she had probably received more and nicer compliments than she had in the last year  .

she hummed  .  “  you know  ,  i actually always liked that phrase  .  ”  she admitted with a shrug  ,  then again  ,  she had always been so anxious and insecure it didn’t take a genius to know why she liked it  .  “  it always made me aware that you can’t please them all  ,  that someone always will have something bad to say even if it’s just i don’t like it  .  but working on it a lot  ,  i also came to decide that that phrase is incomplete  .  because it doesn’t say anything about that someone whose favorite fruit in the whole world is peaches  .  ”  she shrugged once more  .  

                this was the kind of instant connection he’d always heard about,  tried to write about but never truly experienced.   it was fast and overwhelming but so easy and natural all at the same time.  just laughing and messing around,  joking and making fun of each other;  it was a studio session he’d not forget.   “how can you be done laughing ?? you don’t choose to stop laughing,”  he muses raising his brows at her,  his own giggles still bubbling at the surface.                           he was good with lyrics,  not words,  it might seem interchangeable but it truly wasn’t.   he could write a song,  write everything he’d ever been meaning to say but the second he tried to verbalise it in conversation it was like everything he had in his head escaped him.   but something about the way she seemed to understand,  how her eyes sparkled under the dim lighting,   it was like she knew and he didn’t have to make a fool of himself finding the words.   “i mean it,”  he nods.             “i have too,”  maybe it was the sentimental value of hearing his mother say it time and time again,   or maybe it was how reassuring of a mantra it was to have in the back of your head.  just because you can’t impress everyone doesn’t mean you’re not impressive.     “well you could be the ripest peach on the tree but there’ll always be someone who doesn’t like peaches,”  he repeats before taking her eye contact.   “but there’ll also be someone willing the climb the whole tree just to get to you.”

[vcsxo]

G E N E V I E V E

the girl could only smile as he stuck by his version  ,  even when she’d probably be sticking by hers for the sake of banter  .  at the same time  ,  she became very aware of the fact that her cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling that much  ,  and the fact that she didn’t remember the last time that had happened to her as a young-adult  .  “ thank you  .  ”  she murmured  ,  it coming out whispered more than anything else  ,  not expecting her voice to completely disappearing  ,  gen cleared her throat  ,  trying again only slightly louder  .  

“  i mean yeah  ?  that’s what i want everyone to think  ,  i sure as hell don’t want people thinking the alternative  .  ”  she pointed out  ,  nudging him as she followed suit laughing some more  .  “  you can’t say that while literally laughing at me  !!  ”  she snorted  ,  covering her mouth to try to muffle it  ,  shaking her head and taking a deep breath to try and settle herself once more  ,  turning to take a seat on the chair he pointed her at  .

her eyes remained focused on the latop with them until he spoke  ,  her eyes widening a little  .  “  i don’t think anyone has ever called it hypnotising before  .  ”  she admitted softly  ,  making a small face as she thought about it  .  “  but i guess there’s an audience for everything  ,  a lot of people hate the whisperpop trend that started with lana del rey ,  and i mean  ,  sing like that a lot  ,  and i write like that a lot too  …  songs like good for you by selena  ,  i don’t have an american idol sort of voice  .  ”  gen went on to explain lowly  ,  “  my mom used to say my voice would always put her to sleep but it took me quite some time to realize she didn’t mean it as a compliment  .  ”  she admitted  .

                  maybe it was juvenile,   like a teenager at school trying to flirt with his crush,   teasing and taunting yet denying when he was called out.   but it was innocent none-the-less.  because the one truth that came from him  ‘not laughing at her’  was he wasn’t laughing  AT  her,  he was laughing because she was funny and cute and he liked her.   there was no mallice.        he grins softly as the worlds barely fell from her lips,  chuckling gently as he nodded his head,   “no worries,”  he replies at the same lowered tone.               he can’t remember the last time he felt like this,   the last time he had a back-and-forth like this.  it felt so easy,  so natural and normal to be just bantering with gen.  it was hard to believe they’d just met,  they had this chemistry that seemingly made their connection come across as a lifetime rather than in an instant.   “i said what i said,”  he reiterates with a glowing smile plastered on his lips as he stood there trying to conceal the laughter.  only for a guttural belting of a laughter falling as she snorted,   “that was so cute,”  he managed to get out through the chuckles.                                      he’s more so focused on the computer,  whilst still paying attention to the mousey haired beauty he had beside him,  but the comment wasn’t meant to be this charming moment.  it was more a comment he made because he said what was on his mind.  he grins softly,  looking to her before licking over his lips.   “your tone is different though,”  he says leaning back in to the chair.   “i mean i have those whisper-tone songs too but you’ve got this ....thing about your voice ...i can’t explain it,”  he couldn’t put it into words but when she sang it was like a story,  not just her showing off her range or ability.                      but then at her confession he fully stops what he was doing and turns to her,   he had his fair share of people telling him he wasn’t quite ‘good enough’.  it wasn’t something he spoke much about but he could actually relate to her,  not just sympathise.   “my mum always used to say to me   ‘you could be the ripest peach on the tree and there will always be someone who doesn’t like peaches’, “  he hums,   “even if that person is your own mum ...doesn’t mean it’s true.”

[redrola]

[vcsxo]

@milcnahq​

[vcsxo]

G E N E V I E V E

“  look at yourself  !  you’re totally laughing at me !!  ”  she called  ,  but her scolding held little power cosidering she was smiling from ear to ear  ,  which meant he had a point  .  besides  ,  if the effect her countless embarrassments caused such a care-free laughter it sounded like a solid exchange  .  “  you have a really nice laugh  .  ”  she blurted out  ,  pressing her lips in a thin line immediately after  .  it wasn’t like she was gonna take it back  ,  because she wouldn’t  ,  but the irony of letting it out as he laughed over her blurting more weird shit out wasn’t lost on her  .

  “  if by incredible you mean really  ,  freaking horrifying then yeah  .  also  ,  i would like to clarifiy that by him i meant his voice and by me i meant my ear  ,  i was listening to a demo  .  he was never actually anywhere near me  .  ”  she tried as she pursed her lips slightly knowing now it sounded just as bad as the first time around  .  “  nooow  ,  if you’re done laughing at me  …  ”  she played  ,  gently poking his arm  .  “  let’s get back to our sweet  ,  sweet music  !  ”  she beamed  ,  skipping her way back inside the booth  .  

          he hangs his head low,   cheeky little grin plastered on his lips as he shakes his head in amusement.   “i’m not,”  he utters like a little kid in trouble.  still giggling as the singer manages to peek up and see her.   he wasn’t sure what the universe was trying to pull,   why he deserved this butterflies in his stomach moment but he just looked to her with sweet eyes,    “thank you,”   maybe he was better at taking compliments than her but somehow her compliment felt different.    “so do you,”  he says back softly.                         he throws his head back,  grinning widely at her.   there was this part of him that hoped that maybe he could spend more time around her.   get to actually experience these silly little moments she seemed to get herself in to.    “that’s what you want me to think,”   he looks to her,  smirk on his lips before bursting out in a childish laughter.    “i told you i’m not laughing at you,”  he says as he continues to chuckle,  reaching out and taking her hand that had poked her.    “alright lets go finish this piece of art.”                             he follows her out into the studio,  grabbing one of the chairs and tugging it in beside where he had set him and his laptop up.  patting at it for her to sit next to him,  pulling up their vocal takes before pressing play.   “you have a really beautiful tone has anyone ever told you that ?? your voice is hypnotising.”

[vcsxo]

G E N E V I E V E

she couldn’t remember the last time she didn’t feel like she was constantly trying to play catch up around a guy  .  one experience after the other did nothing but cling their claws into her anxiety and insecurities until she was nothing but an over-thinking mess  .  half the time she couldn’t tell for sure if the blame was theirs or hers  ,  she figured neither part was exactly blame-free  .  but the one thing she knew was that the fact that the impromptu session felt nothing like it did have something to do with the male in the room with her  ,  that even when laughing at her didn’t really feel like he was laughing at her  . 

“  aren’t you though  ?  ”  she giggled  ,  “  not that i would hold it against you  ,  one time i spent 2 minutes making faces to myself during a video call before someone bothered to tell me my camera wasn’t off  .  and don’t get me started on the time i told the biebs it was nice having him inside me  ….  i tried to to fix it but let me tell you  ,  there was no coming back from that one  .  ”  she admitted  ,  then again information nobody had asked her for  .  “  but ok  ,  what’s left to do then  ?  ”  she wondered  ,  focusing back on the work as she peaked over his shoulder  .

                there was apart of him that felt relaxed and relieved he didn’t have to put up some character in front of her.   like eddie was enough,   she didn’t need the flashing lights that came with vesco.   maybe it was how normal and down-to-earth she was,   it didn’t feel like to well known musicians were in a room together.   it felt like he was hanging out with someone close just messing around with music for fun.   he wouldn’t be sure how to verbalise it but one day he was going to have to thank her for that.                         “i’m laughing with you not at you,”  but this time his words were more sincere and light,  there was no joking and teasing he was being genuine.   sure he liked to make fun of girls he fancied,  just a little,  but it was never enough to be more than playful.                                                         but it was her awkward stories of embarrassments past that had his head rolling back as he let out a guttural laugh.   “holy shit,”  he can’t help but place his hand on his stomach, shaking his head.   “that’s incredible,” muses the singer.   --he tries to calm himself down,  running fingers through his hair as the laughter left behind a brilliant smile.                  “ahhh might just take one or two more takes of vocals so we have some choices when i edit ...i’ll play around with the track and we can see how it ends up ...??”

[ghostofdrummer-blog]

[vcsxo]

G E N E V I E V E

in a sense it was like going back to kindergarten  .  being complete strangers with someone until you suddenly weren’t anymore  ,  all it took was asking if she could borrow the color pencils he was using  ,  or pointing out she was a fan of the cartoon in his lunch box and next thing she knew it was like they had known each other their entire lives  .  if she was still five and rushed home after the day to tell her dad she made a new friend  ,  she wouldn’t be able to tell how many copies his last album sold  ,  or what kind of car he drives  ,  or what his parents do for a living  ,  but she could describe what his voice sounds like  ,  and the way his eyes wrinkled when he smiled widely  ,  or the way he tapped his foot against the floor while on his laptop  ,  and that felt more important  .

she couldn’t help laughing more  ,  shaking her head as she was sure the teasing only got her redder  .  “  stop making fun of me  !  ”  she protested light-heartedly  ,  even when at this point she should be used to the amount of times her words seemed to come out wrong at the worst of times  .  “  i waaaaaant  ….  to release the song  .  ”  genevieve beamed  ,  clapping her hands together once  ,  “  okay  ,  let’s do it  !  ”  she repeated with a small snort  .

                        whatever was forming between them felt innocent,   like a schoolyard friend or a puppy crush.  there was no risk involved because nothing felt like it had stakes,   he could just talk to her and smile and it felt like he was safe to be himself.   whatever version of himself that was.    it wasn’t long,  a few hours in the studio just bouncing off one another and he suddenly felt like he’d known her for years.   all her little nuances,  the tone of her laughter and the way she rambled when she spoke   -- he felt like he’d been around it since the start of time.                                he was naturally flirty and he loved to turn on his charm but there wasn’t any suggestive undertones like there was with most other girls.   he wasn’t trying to sleep with her or have her wrapped around his finger.   he just wanted to see her blush and hear her laugh.    “i’m not, i’m not !!” he defends putting his hands up as he continued to laugh.   his eyes lit up and he nods his head,   he couldn’t wait to put this song out to their audiences.   he hadn’t been this proud of a song in a while   and maybe he needed someone else just as passionate to really ignite his flame all over again.    “okay we’re doing it,”  he chuckles,  smiling bright as he peered down at her. 

[vcsxo]

G E N E V I E V E

a melodic laugh made it past the girl’s lips as she stopped shaking his hands  ,  “  wait  ,  what if we just  …  release it  ?  ”  she suggested  ,  holding onto them for a second too long before remembering to let go  ,  shaking her head slightly as if not to get side tracked from the idea that had just popped into her overly excited head  .  “  hear me out  ,  we give it the finishing touches and then we just  … put it online  .  ”  she smiled  ,  “  or we just release the raw demo  ,  or we can even just shoot ourselves with like our phones and put it together and upload it to youtube  .  screw singles and teams and schedules  .  two people who love music sharing a song with more people who love music  .  ”  she went on in a ramble  ,  “  let’s just do it — that  ,  do that  …  and you clearly knew what i was talking about so it’s probably worse that i clarified that  .  ”  genevieve literally face palmed herself  .  

                 his eyes light up in this child-like manner,   his smile growing and taking over every feature on his face.  it’s almost as if that thought hadn’t crossed his mind,  as if it was this new idea that was unfathomable.   and he chuckles but nods his head,    “i mean yeah what’s stopping us ??”   that’s what he used to do before he got signed.   if a song felt right he’d just put it on youtube or soundcloud and let the world guide the songs success    --why couldn’t they do that now ??                                                     “lets do it,”  he’s all for it,   the song felt right and it felt natural.  it didn’t need some big premier or hype-up,   it just needed to be heard.  he claps his hands together and pulls the headphones from his ears to drape around his neck before cheeky eyes peak over at gen.   “yeah lets do it,”  he’s only teasing as this bright bought of laughter falls from her lips.    “we can do whatever you want gen,”  he smirks because he’s not actually doing his usual fuckboy-flirt  it’s more just cheeky banter and he can’t remember the last time he had innocent intentions behind his words.

[vcsxo]

@rowan25: @vesco of the almonds?

@vesco: @rowan25 correct

[vcsxo]

@rowan25: how do you milk an almond?

@vesco: @rowan25 from it's nipples

[vcsxo]

G E N E V I E V E

“  …  thank you  .  ”  she tried  ,  slipping into the inevitable spiral of having to take a compliment  .  she had always been horrible at it  ,  as shown by the way her cheeks most definitely turned red  .  however  ,  they only thing worst than pulling a regina george and agree to a compliment was trying to deny it  ,  like she was fishing for more  ,  which she wasn’t  .  if anything she was almost certain she’d turn into a mess of goo on the floor at another compliment directed at her  .  talking about her work she could deal  ,  both praise and criticism  ,  but herself was a whole different situation  .

almost as soon as they finish going over the song genevieve squealed  ,  in a way she was sure she hadn’t since the first time she heard a song she had every written sound on the radio  .  “  duudee !!  ”  she called back with a loud laugh  ,  borderline having to control herself not to literally jump up and down  ,  but she couldn’t stop herself from reaching to get a hold on the male’s hands  ,  shaking them playfully  .  “  this is the greatest song ever  !  i can’t wait to get it done  .  ”

                eddie wasn’t much of a free compliment giver,   he tended to only send compliments out at the upmost sincere moments.   he only spoke what he meant when it came to sweet words and praise,  so when the blush hit her cheeks and she mumbled out a small thank you he could only chuckle and grin at her.   “any time,”   maybe he could get used to complimenting her,   it felt so easy for those gentle words to slip out.                                                                    there was this bubbling excitement just coating the room.   the way they both just beamed of joy and couldn’t wipe the smiles off of their faces proved how invested they were in the making of this track.   and it had been a long while since eddie was this keen on getting a track done.  he laughs brightly as she takes his hands,   the brunet lad squeezing hers right back as she shook his playfully.     “if we don’t drop this as a single i’ll fight you,”   it’s all in tease as his eyes sparkle looking down at her.   “this is ---i haven’t loved a song like this in ages.”