[vdcvc]

[ VDCVC ] :: indie, slow, selective rp blog for natalia alianovna romanova, aka BLACK WIDOW , of the mcu / marvel. this blog will feature 21+ themes such as t.orture, v.iolence, s.mut, d.eath, pt.sd, br.ainwashing, etc, and they will not be tagged nor under a cut. i will write my muse heavilly under my own hcs, this blog does not follow the main line of the movies. the mun: my name is V, i am 29yo, she/her, adore torturing my muse in any way shape or form :)

MEMES //

short rules:

as i am an old lady i will therefore not write with anyone under the age od 21 - that means no mun nor muse younger than 21 years old.

i am a ship whore and will not apologise for it, but if you're not here to ship or would rather wait - let me know, im not going to force any kind of a connection / plot on anyone, we're here to have fun and that goes both ways.

no hate, no anon hate, no callout posts, no drama. see something you don't like? block and move on. i am too old to have patience for that kind of behaviour on a website where we write fake stories about imaginary characters.

i write my nat as a het woman interested in mf relationships only, also i do have some pairings that i will not write in a romantic connection (example: nat and bruce) so feel free to poke me about a possible pairing anytime.

memes are always open and the best way to break the ice. not sure how to start? don't have a clear idea in mind but would like to write? send the meme.

[vdcvc]

the black widow at v.ought? the black widow getting the shot back in the 30s? the black widow meeting s.oldier boy? the black widow running away? ? the black widow meeting all the super humans? the black-

[vdcvc]

gonna admit that seeing some so.ldier b.oy gifs around is bringing back the muse from her slumber....

[asterismasterisk]

I have “can’t get my dick in deep enough” disease which is when I’m topping I kinda go feral and claw and bite and grab them and yank them down onto my dick and pin them down by their neck and growl in their ear and~

[vdcvc]

if a cute boy smiles her way with thay one-side type a smirk she's gonna blush like mad and giggle like an idiot i don't make the rules

[vdcvc]

natalia "falls down from a six storey building, hitting metal structures on the way down and lands on two feet just holding her ribs like 'owie', but canonically def doesnt have serum" romanova

[apologizelater]

steve  has  the  same  thought  –  𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅  𝒉𝒆  𝒃𝒆  𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒆  𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏  𝒉𝒆  𝒘𝒂𝒔  𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒅  ?       he  has  no  family.         he  always  thought  he'd  die  by  thirty  before  the  serum.      bucky  would  have  broken  tradition  &*  gone  graveside  –  he  hadn't  been  catholic  ,  after  all.      he  knows  nat  will  do  the  same.      (  *  assuming  he  can  die.     he's  not  positive.     god  has  never  seemed  to  take  him  ,  no  matter  the  sickness  or  injury.  )       

❛    both.    ❜        he  doesn't  talk  about  his  trauma  –  mental  health  was  a  thing  swallowed  or  spit  out  like  poison  in  his  time.       MAN  UP.      he  saw  soldier's  turned  inside  out  –  he'd  not  talk  a  shrink  about  that  ;  why  would  he  bitch  about  his  nonstop  depression  &*  lack  of  self  ?       childish.       he  was  an  asset  to  his  country.       weapons  don't  weep.        (  *  yet  he  does.     in  private  ,  away  from  those  who  needed  him  to  be  the  steady  rock  in  the  steam.  )        yet  nat  draws  a  vulnerability  from  him.     gives  him  a  place  to  rest  weary  head.      

❛     i  never  assumed  i  would  be  lucky  enough  to  marry  peggy  ,  but    …     i  think  i  could  have  ,  if  i'd  landed  that  plane.     i  could  have  been  the  family  at  her  grave.    ❜       he  swallows  ,  brows  knitting  as  he  stares  ahead.       ❛     seeing  her  after  all  that  time    …     &*  having  her  forget  &*  remember  over  &*  over  in  the  same  conversation  –   i've  never  gotten  to  say  goodbye  to  her  properly.       not  in  the  plane.       not  with  her  memory.      not  at  the  grave.   ❜      

[vdcvc]

THE NOD OF HER HEAD WAS NOT SEEN BY THE MAN currently occupying her lap - but it did not need to. it was nothing short of a reflex, a response so engrained into the logical behaviour that it almost felt wrong not to do so when she acknowledged someone's words. appearances were important, the mask of always-ready-to-act hard to drop even in the privacy of her own home.

"if you had - who knows." Natalia agreed, though she had her own opinions about that. she had read the raports, the files that agent Carter had filled out, saw the interviews long forgotten in the archives - read up all about the woman's accomplishments that saw the light of day and those that did not. Peggy Carter was a woman worth her marbles, honorable, smart, loyal --- but at the same time Natalia had seen some of the true sides hidden behind the shield of the complicated man that the Captain had become. would they have been a good match? would they have married? that was not the point of this conversation. not what Steve needed, not right now.

"I think there is no reason why you can't go to her grave now, visit as often as you want, tell her what needs to be said - what you could not manage because her mind flickered and her memory failed." Natalia added after a moment of a pause "there is no doubt she had done the same when you went into ice." the redhead pointed out "she also thought she did not get to say goodbye, the fact that you had a few moments longer together is more than either of you thought you'd get."

[apologizelater]

sad  blues  stare  ahead  at  the  skyline  outside  the  tower  windows  ,  still  half  bleary  from  tears  he  won't  bring  attention  to.         nat's  fingernails  keep  him  grounded  there  –  both  from  the  feeling  against  his  scalp  &*  the  tang  of  nail  polish.        it  was  an  easy  choice  –  to  find  nat  after  the  funeral.       he'd  considered  staying  in  london.        talking  to  peggy's  family  &*  friends  –  asking  sharon  for  stories  about  growing  up  with  peggy  as  her  aunt.        but  he  couldn't.       he  got  in  the  plane  &*  came  home.        didn't  change  clothes  –  hardly  breathed.       now  ,  with  his  cheek  on  the  red  head's  lap  ,  he  releases  that  held  breath  &*  nearly  shudders  in  the  relief  of  it.         

❛     i've  never  felt  older.    ❜        his  head  shakes  a  bit  ,  brows  knitting  as  he  blinks.        a  tear  slips  onto  nat's  leg.        ❛    the  last  funeral  i  went  to  was  in  1936.      my  ma  died  in  the  tb  ward.      i  couldn't  be  there  when  she  passed.     ❜      he  always  hated  that  most  –  she'd  spent  his  entire  life  taking  care  of  him  when  he  was  sick.       he  couldn't  be  there  for  her.        she  wouldn't  want  otherwise  –  it  would  have  killed  him  in  a  day.       still.         ❛    was  a  pallbearer  for  her  ,  too.   bucky &* me &* some guys from mass. catholics ... we do this thing where only family went to the grave site , so ... it was just me out there , seeing her get lowered in the ground. i didn't get to see peggy go down. part of me thought i would.  ❜

[vdcvc]

HER SOFT CHUCKLE TO THE COMMENT ABOUT FEELING THEIR AGE was more among the lines of pathetic rather than humorous. wasn't it the truth of it all? their bodies young, their strength at full capability and yet their minds wise beyond their looks. their experience heavier than the world. their trauma clouding every single day of the week with its ridiculously large shadow, leaving nothing but the cold touch of dread if one was not careful enough to avoid it - CAREFUL ENOUGH TO TOUCH THE SUN EVERY NOW & AGAIN.

"it wasn't your fault that you couldn't be there." Natalia spoke softly, fingers never ceasing their rhythm "I'm sure even in her last moments she was more worried about you getting sick from the hospital air than whatever fate awaited her." the redhead pointed out, words lacking any sort of judgement - there was none to give. not when the maternal love knew no bounds. not when the familiar ties were told to last through centuries. "that's a beautiful tradition - though sad for those who died all alone." she hummed in acknowledgement, wondering for a split of a moment if she would get burried like that. all alone. strangers lowering her into the ground and shovelling dirt atop the casket --- would she even GET a grave? or would a death in a battlefield be her legacy? there was no family left ( if there ever was any to begin with ), there would be no one.

"are you more sad that you did not get to say a proper goodbye to a friend or the time that was lost and passed you by?" the redhead asked softly, curious yet gentle in her probing of his thoughts "because it's alright to be sad about both."

[gaybuckybarnesss]

JACOB ELORDI The Narrow Road To The Deep North 1.01

[apologizelater]

 @vdcvc   »   [  lap  ]  sender  lets  receiver  rest  their  head  in  their  lap  while  they  stroke  their  hair

he  has  not  been  in  this  position  for  a  very  ,  very  long  time.       𝒏𝒐𝒕  𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆  𝒃𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒘𝒂𝒓.       it  hadn't  been  abnormal  back  then  ,  especially  considering  how  sick  he  was  so  often.       between  bucky  &*  sarah  ,  he'd  found  himself  curled  up  on  someone's  lap  rather  frequently.        but  he  is  the  picture  of  health  now  &*  the  most  solitary  man  in  new  york.         he  only  allows  the  intimacy  now  because  his  heart  is  heavy  –  it  drags  him  down  onto  the  cushions  when  nat  pats  her  lap  &*  gives  him  that  look  of  sympathy.        his  hand  discards  the  funeral  pamphlet  he  holds  onto  the  table  ,  then  he  allows  himself  to  curl  up  there.       making  himself  small  is  no  easy  feat  ,  but  the  couch  in  the  complex  is  large  enough  to  fit  the  team.          

her  hand  finds  his  hair  &*  he  feels  his  shoulders  sag.         he'd  barely  gotten  out  of  his  suit  jacket  before  she  beckoned  him.       his  tie  still  feels  suffocating.        𝒑𝒆𝒈𝒈𝒚'𝒔  𝒇𝒖𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍  𝒊𝒔  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕  𝒉𝒆'𝒔  𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒅  𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆  𝒉𝒊𝒔  𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔.      strange  ,  given  he's  been  surrounded  by  ghosts  since  arriving  in  the  twenty  first  century.       bucky  hadn't  had  a  funeral.       he  wasn't  here  when  the  commandos  passed  one  by  one.      howard  was  long  gone.       peggy  was  his  last  solid  tether  ,  &*  even  that  was  so  strained  by  her  dementia.         bucky  is  out  there  –  the  winter  soldier  that  let  him  live.       he  can  hope  to  save  him  ;  to  bring  him  back.        but  today  that  hope  is  dim.        

so  he  closes  his  eyes  &*  lets  one  hand  rest  just  under  her  knee  as  he  presses  his  cheek  into  her  thigh.        𝒉𝒆  𝒉𝒂𝒔  𝒐𝒏𝒆  𝒇𝒐𝒐𝒕  𝒊𝒏  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒕  ,  but  the  other  rests  solidly  here  with  her.        the  accords  are  far  from  his  mind.       he  won't  think  of  the  strain  of  the  avengers  breaking  apart.       losing  something  else  dear  to  him  is  it's  own  torture  that  might  just  drag  him  under  today.        steve  forces  himself  to  only  think  of  nat  –  of  her  soothing  nails  against  his  scalp  &*  the  words  she's  saying.       a  heavy  sigh  slips  the  captain's  lips  as  he  gives  her  leg  a  little  squeeze.         a  sign  he  is  here  ;  that  he  is  grateful. 

[vdcvc]

SHE HAD BARELY FINISHED PAINTING HER NAILS, the uv-lamp packed away and her gaze criticising every mishap in the technique of applying nailpolish with the new, dimmed burgundy shade of dark red - when the tall man walked into the room and all of her attention immadiately pinned on the shift of the emotions. the dots connected quickly, sharp mind taking queues and information and turning them into sharp images and plans before she even had a chance to truly ponder.

there was no need for words - THERE WAS NOT MUCH TO SAY - before her arm lifted and beckoned the strong soldier into a moment of peace and vulnerability that she would never dare to judge him for.

"shhh." Natalia hummed quietly, burgundy nails disappearing in the thick hair before scratching gently, delicately, against the sensitive scalp. the motions easy, calming, soothing in ways that few would be otherwise - FOR THEM THERE WAS NO PEACE, NOT REALLY, but this was the closest one could get in a world burning from all sides. "whatever you need - I'm here." the redhead offered, leaning down to press a soft brush of a kiss to the edge of Steve's shoulder when he settled on the sofa fully. his size and weight causing the cushions to dip and pull her even more into him, like a gravitational force that kept her close. and she went without a fight. "we can talk about it, I will listen - or I can talk about whatever else." she added "or we can just sit in silence, sometimes you just need to feel whatever it is that you feel."

[vdcvc]

& @wntrsghost // cont.

THE YEARNING FOR PHYSICAL TOUCH SOMETIMES became a weight too heavy to bear. a weight that crushed her very soul beneath its overwhelming pressure as it ached for something - anything - to soothe the itch beneath her skin. they were not made for soft touch, not made for sweet gestures of romance. and yet, the despair sometimes clouded even the best of judgements. Natalia knew she should have gone to her room. to the cold, empty cell with nothing but a steel-framed bed with a new yet uncomfortable mattress that did not allow for rest. instead - she was there, standing behind the man who poured fear into the veins of their enemies. the man that became a story told among the smallfolk between tales of baba yaga and rusalkas.

"James." the redhead whispered back, allowing the man just enough space to turn to face her before her hands - warmed by the shower she had taken mere minutes prior - settled on his waist while her head tilted into the touch to her cheek. she never STRAYED, never flinched, never showed fear. because there was none in the first place. each and every single gesture was welcomed with a soft sigh of content, a smile as sweet as honey or a moan of utter desperation. this time was no different. "I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep." Natalia hummed, leaning closer until she could press another kiss to the scar across James' body, this time the brutal lines across his chest "---I had to see you."

[vdcvc]

& @wntrsghost .// cont.

THE STARS WERE HIGH UP IN THE SKY, and yet with the depth of the night all around them it seemed as if the darkness was not that far away at all. it seemed to soak into the marrow of her bones, chilling her to the very core of her being despite the last FLAMES of fire dying behind them in the wreckage of what used to be a house. what now turned into ash and bone. the sweet, SWEET tinge of flesh melting against the concrete floors letting them know of a job well done. the end of a mission. TIME TO GO HOME.

the redhead sat down at his left, unconscious habit that the young Widow had picked up over the years of missions spent together, countless nights just as this one passed by in silence and OBSERVATION of each other. still vary back then, still carefull, still on edge. now they worked together like cogs of a well-oiled, well-used machine with chipped teeth and broken handles, but still doing its job best out of the whole myriad of aparatus available with the newest technology and science. nothing better than the sure, sturdy design that GOT THE JOB DONE. every single time.

her right arm snuck under the jacket she wrapped him in, adding the layer of warmth to the man's left side and across his lower back - offering what little aid she could at the moment, a promise of more when they returned to the base. "warmth & FIREPLACES?" Natalia dared to tease with a small smile as her temple rested against the cool metal of James' shoulder. the familiar sensation settling her adrenaline, allowing her body to ease off of the MISSION-ALERT setting within her mind "only if we get lots of those ridiculously fluffy blankets to cuddle with on the sofa in front of the fireplace." the redhead hummed, chin propped on his shoulder "and we will cuddle, a lot."

[rogers-carter]

natasha romanoff + hidden weapons

[vdcvc]

so, im a liar.

[vdcvc]

apparently i had enough brains to get a free day after the end of our trip bc our flight was cancelled. out of the blue. just like - poof. gone. and we got a different flight but it was not the destination we wanted at first and a whole lot of chaos.

[vdcvc]

are you telling me we gonna get some s.car jo & s.eb st.an proper romantic married couple content????

[vdcvc]

smol hiatus notice jan 20 - 27th.