Safe From The Monsters

Hello! I'm... It's nice to... let me try again. I'm Veetor'Nara. I'm on my Pilgrimage, trying to find something I'm good at and that will help the Migrant Fleet. I hope I find it soon. I'm trying to get better at talking to people too. Hope I'm doing all right.

[salarianglitterbomb-blog]

[[Hi, lovelies. <3 To reassure you that I am still alive, though not really here… have the song that’s been going through my head for the past forever. I’ve been having a hell of a time with chronic illnesses and would just. Really like to be okay. 

Plus it relates hella well to both my muses too, both galleries of broken hearts. Please imagine Sirrit singing and playing his space guitar ukelele thing and a montage of him and Veetor trying to figure their lives out. While I try to figure out mine.

All the loves. <3 Know that maybe I will be okay.]]

[salarianglitterbomb-blog]

[[Hey guys, I’m sorry I’ve been so bad at replying and making some people wait for like ever, just off the top of my head I’m especially sorry liselletloak and xenoscience-studies and is2keelah and probably a lot more people just. Wow. Sorry.

Basically my mom is having pacemaker surgery tomorrow and we’re all scrambling getting ready for that and it’s been a hell of a time leading up to it for a lot of reasons and my own health has been shaky at the very best. So like. I’m just. My brain locks on to some threads and goes ‘okay I can do this’ and just flops helplessly at others and it’s nobody and nothing and it’s all just. My brain being. a weird. thing. 

And I’m also just. so tired. All the time.

So yeah. Blanket apology for being a lump. For this, and all future lumpness. Hopefully it’ll get better. But it will likely not, I am the most unreliable RP partner in existence, and if you stick around with me, you are so wonderful and deserving of all baked goods in the universe. <33]]

[veetors-safe-place-blog]

§ [ from Ryana bc i can see these two being p good friends~ ]

[[Awww yes definitely! ;A; And I promise I will reply soon, I'm so sorry, I've been such a lump. But I LOVE THEM.]]

[dionysosthursos-blog]

Send me "§" if you'd ever consider shipping our muses

[tavianalvia]

Tavi immediately busted out laughing at the image.  ”Fuckin’… Okay.  Okay, I’ll take you to look at the fish at a pet store after this or something because fish at least can’t hump your leg.  And most uh… most varren don’t always do that.  The leg humping strangers thing.”

He paused at a rack of pants - human mostly but with some turian sized pants shoved into the mix - and immediately started digging through curiously.  ”You spot something you like?” he asked after a moment, glancing back to where Veetor’s gaze had been a moment before.  ”You can probably grab one of those ships, they’re selling them cheap.”

[veetors-safe-place-blog]

"That sounds wonderful!" Veetor exclaimed with a happy little bounce. "Fish are so calming to look at. At least from what I've seen in vids. Floating around in their own little environment. Safe and contained, like... well, a little like me, I guess." He actually gave a little laugh; the thought of animals alone made him happy. "Or maybe the hamsters, in their plastic balls - if that's even a real thing."

He was indeed still looking at the little ships. One of them had a distinctly quarian design; it wasn't a specific ship that he recognized, but might have been inspired by something from the Fleet years ago. Or maybe just an artist taking creative quarian liberties. "I think I will," he said after a moment, reaching up to catch the ship, having the strange feeling of being a giant plucking it out of the sky - remembering just in time to wave his credit chit at the store owner, who was carefully watching. He was a quarian, but he was definitely here to buy something. Veetor gave a little sigh. He'd been fully prepared on that front. "I'm thinking. This is the first thing I've gotten here, that wasn't food or relating just to surviving," he said a little thoughtfully. "And at the same time it reminds me of home. Both places." He gave Tavi a smile, heading up to the counter. "And you. When I look at it, I'll think both about where I came from, and about where I am now. Not really alone."

[archxvefirhunterofbounties]

"…What happened?" she asked softly, her tone taking on a tinge of uncharacteristic gentleness when she sensed the emotions in the quarian’s em field. Her ears twitched as she looked at him, tilting her head ever so slightly to gauge his reaction as she muted her comm and omnitool, cutting off her connection to her packmates who were still trying to get through to her. They’d be… mad, when she would finally decide to call back, but it was nothing she couldn’t handle. 

[veetors-safe-place-blog]

"I..." Wavering, doubt, the flurry of panic in the pit of his stomach. Vertigo, like standing on the very edge of a cliff. His suit felt too restrictive. Air not working? No, no, it was working, of course. Just felt like it wasn't.

Veetor wasn't about to discuss the fact that this was actually his second Pilgrimage. Not with a non-quarian. Particularly not with someone he barely even knew. There was quite a stigma at failing at your Pilgrimage. If you did so, you were never quite considered an adult. You could still transfer to a new ship and take on a title, but there would be a notice in your record. Your captain would know. People would find out. There wasn't a formal punishment or anything like that, but... people would know. The social stigma was punishment enough. If you tried again and succeeded at a second Pilgrimage it was largely forgotten, which was why so much was riding on this one for him, but... 

"I've just - just had a couple setbacks, that's all. Nothing serious." Lies. Horrible lies. "Nothing I won't be able to recover from." Lesser lies. Hopefully the truth. "I'm hopeful about my projects at least. Hope they can help a lot of people. My-myself included."

[quarianengineeress-deactivated2]

"You want to live a little, but you also want to go home." Tali smiled indulgently, nodding in understanding. "I get it. For a long time, I was the same." That was an understatement; torn between her Normandy family and her blood family, life had been difficult, but she had struck a balance between the two. Ultimately, she knew where her loyalties lay, and they lay with Shepard.

Tali nodded enthusiastically along with his words, listening with interest. “People are getting better about us,” she admitted with no little excitement. “Apparently we’re getting better and better, and hopefully one day none of us will have this problem. And Veetor, if you want to introduce me to your friends, I wouldn’t be embarrassed.”

"Thank you," she responded, flushing a little - although he couldn’t see that. "It’s… new. And different. And scary! Living up to my father… it’s not something I really want to do." She swallowed audibly, wishing in some ways that life were simpler and that she didn’t have the problems that she had. Sometimes, living an easy life - when they had been chasing Saren - looked much more… hopeful than the convoluted politics she now lived day to day.

"Well," Tali responded, "I do know a place where they do dextro milkshakes! C’mon; I’ll order and I’ll buy!" She took his arm, almost tugging him along with excitement.

[veetors-safe-place-blog]

"Yes. Exactly that." Veetor nodded, happy beyond saying that she had understood what he'd been trying to say. It didn't happen to him often. He didn't think he had actually lived much before; this might be a good way to start. "I - I thought you might understand that. And I would love to introduce you to them! And show you what I've been doing. They're not - the crew of a ship that's saving the galaxy and I'm certainly not doing that, but - but it's still been fun. And they're good people. You'd like them. And they'd definitely like you." 

He took a breath. She was clearly nervous as well, about her new admiralty appointment - which oddly, made him feel a little better. Not in any sort of mean way, something like that would never enter Veetor's head in a million years. But it was somehow nice to know that the amazing Tali'Zorah was quarian just like him, and worried about things as well. Veetor was absolutely under the influence of some hero worship. Knowing that they had something in common (even if it was being scared out of their minds - whether about being an admiral, or being alive in general) was somehow comforting.

"You're going to do amazing things. You've already done amazing things. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. And you're not your father," he said, firmly - only realizing after he'd spoken that he wasn't stammering, and his voice wasn't shaking. "Please don't worry about that. If anyone thinks anything like that at all... well, they shouldn't. You've done nothing but good for me, and the whole galaxy."

Then she was taking his arm! Before Veetor could react he was following her in some surprise, but most of all, happiness. He actually laughed. "Ah! All - all right! Sounds good! You really don't have to buy them, though. But thank you! So much!"

[indomitvble-blog]

She knew the moment that the small gasp left the quarian that who she was had registered to him. He almost skipped to her — quick steps coming at her as if he were scared that if he didn’t move any faster, she would vanish. Truth be told Shepard was never a fan of those who came up to her like a roused fan to some sort of celebrity. The questions, the way they would look at her like she was some sort of high being made her uneasy and greatly irritated, but somehow, her hardened heart and mind made way for Veetor.

A smile played up on her features as his eyes practically lit up when he caught sights of hers. She couldn’t find the word for it — adorable? Amusing? It was definitely something. His words weren’t nonsense or garbled or panicked in a way that showed fear — it tugged on something in her to know that he was already doing leaps and bounds better than when she had first caught sight of him. “I’ve got no preference between the two,” Olivia let out a chuckle, crossing her arms over her chest.

The way he fidgeted and looked as if his mind and mouth were having a race with each other made her eyes flicker with slight concern. However, instead of butting in his train of thought and telling him to hurry up, some empathy was brought forth and she allowed him to gather himself on his own time.

”As am I with you,” Usually when she conversed, this was the time when her smile would fade. But something kept it there, and there was nothing really in her trying to rub it away.              ”How have you been doing?”

[veetors-safe-place-blog]

"Okay, I just wanted to - names are important. Commander." He picked one, the one he'd heard others call her the most; he'd stick with that one. Names certainly were important, and he always liked to ask. People had things they preferred. Veetor certainly did. He'd been called all manner of things. Quarians were called many things by aliens, usually not good things. He'd been called many things even by his own people, due to his... eccentricities. He hadn't liked how any of them had made him feel. Hadn't wanted to make someone so important to his life feel like that, ever. 

"Better. I'm... I'm better." The words were true, in ways he couldn't begin to explain. They weren't big enough. Veetor could breathe. On Freedom's Progress he hadn't been able to breathe; he'd been afraid of crowds but he hadn't asked for that emptiness, the silence had been deafening, the stillness of the empty sky except for the falling snow... and the monsters. The things that had made it too quiet. The things he had come here, to the Citadel, place of too-many-people and too-loud-voices, to never see again. So far it was working.

"You saw me on the worst day of my life on... back there," he said, taking a tiny bit of pride in the way his voice only had a minimal shake. Still couldn't say the name. "And on a much better one, later. And I'm better than that now. I'm trying my Pilgrimage again. What I found last time, wasn't - it wasn't something I wanted to see or find. I'm looking for something that will help people this time, and be better. I'm trying to make... everything better this time, really." He paused, defaulting to his slight rocking motion and fiddling with his fingertips. The movements helped him focus and stay calm and grounded. He was doing pretty well so far. 

"I'm sure there's not much you can tell me, about your important work - but how have you been? I'm - I'm sure you're doing much bigger things than learning to, to function, in the world."

[indomitvble-blog]

veetors-safe-place

   she knew that quarian from somewhere —    once it clicked, there was an, aha! moment.    olivia had never been one to come check up    on past, briefly met others unless they had    become a part of her crew.    but he was there and she was genuinely     wondering how he was doing nowadays.

                 ”Veetor?”  the regular edgy tone had left her voice.  despite her history of being cold and quite  heartless, something inside the commander  truly, truly hoped that he was doing well.

[veetors-safe-place-blog]

Veetor turned quickly at the sound of her voice, immediately on guard. He didn't recognize the voice at first, and it took him a moment to even place her face - but when he did, everything snapped into place at once, and he let out a soft gasp. Something like an electric current flooded through him, and he hurried up to her with short, quick steps, looking up into her face with wide bioluminescent eyes bright behind his visor, as if eagerly trying to ensure that she was real.

"Com - commander? Commander Shepard?" He questioned, staring - he was really trying harder not to stare, but it was either that or not make eye contact at all, there was never any in between with Veetor, and now it was as if he were trying to memorize the features of the person who'd been there when he'd found himself on the edge of... he pushed the thought away. Push it away, it was never there at all. "Or - or Spectre, do you like to be called - is that better? I - I'm just..."

Stop, Veetor. Stop. Take a deep breath. She isn't going to disappear if you don't say everything you want to say immediately, she'll still be here if you get some oxygen into your lungs. Try again. Say what you mean.

"I'm very glad to see you."

[tavianalvia]

Tavi barely managed not to snort at Veetor’s sudden glancing around after the curse.  ”Nah, you meant it I bet or you wouldn’t of said it.  But it’s okay to mean it.  Dicks are dicks, you don’t gotta be nice to ‘em.  Their reason was probably that you were a quarian so you can hate ‘em back for treating you like that. I figure anyway.”

He glanced around curiously to see if there was anything interesting inside the store before heading in, waving for Veetor to follow him.  ”They might have some armor, I usually find clothes and little shit for decoration.  Found some stuff for my fish tank once.”  Pausing a moment, he glanced back.  ”Do quarians keep pets?”

[veetors-safe-place-blog]

"I guess I did mean it," Veetor said quietly, looking at his feet as they walked. He still didn't feel great about actually cursing someone out, even if they weren't there to hear, and had probably deserved it. "Still, I... I don't like hating anybody. Enough people hate quarians for no reason. Hating back doesn't solve anything. And won't make people hate us any less." 

He was much happier and more interested in what they'd find in the thrift store, though. The first thing that caught his attention when he walked in was the model ships - seeing them hanging from the ceiling in close 'formation' made him think of home. "Fish tank?" He looked back at Tavi. "You have fish? That's wonderful! I've always wanted - no, quarians don't really have pets. Because we need to have such sterile environments, animals are... difficult." 

He sighed, seeming truly disappointed. "I've always wanted a pet. We have specific agricultural and fauna ships dedicated to the preservation of some very few species we were able to bring with us from Rannoch, but I've never been to them. The first animal I ever saw in person was a varren on the presidium. I don't think it liked me. Or... maybe it liked me too much. My leg. It, uh... tried to... yes." 

[the-write-ideas]

Send me a △ and ask a really invasive question aimed at my character

They’ll have to:

Rate on a scale of 1-10 how much they don’t want to answer that question.

Answer that question.

[quarianengineeress-deactivated2]

"Sometimes it is reassuring to see a little of the Flotilla," Tali confirmed quietly, trying to reassure him as best as she could. She knew what it was like, being a lone quarian, and not everyone had the good luck to fall in with a group of people such as the Normandy. She’d help out any quarian, especially if they needed help. "It’s nice… to be reminded of home."

"You didn’t cause a fuss," Tali disagreed, a little heat in her tone. "You were hurt - it was important that you were okay! I’m just glad you are." She smiled at him, holding him at arms length and studying him for a long moment.

Tali’s smile broadened at his gratefulness. “You never have to thank me,” she insisted. “I’m just glad I could help at all, and I’m super glad you’re on the Citadel! Living! Isn’t it exciting?” She was excited on his behalf, and couldn’t help her glee. “Oh, me? Well, you know - promoted to Admiral, and now the Normandy’s docked on the Citadel for a little while, I decided to come have a look around the markets. Have you found anything good here?”

[veetors-safe-place-blog]

"Yes. I... part of me hopes that I find something good to complete my Pilgrimage very soon, so I can go home," Veetor said, tone dropping to echo hers in thoughtfulness. "I miss it a lot. I guess everybody does, at least at first. But at the same time, it's..." He looked around them, at the buildings and busy sky of the Citadel. They'd found a quiet oasis in the dense crowds, so he wasn't feeling claustrophobic or overwhelmed, and could look at the variety of people without his heart starting to pound. 

"The Citadel is the most amazing place I've ever seen. I could spend a whole lifetime here, and not be done learning. I've even made a few friends!" He actually laughed, and it was a happy one, not thin and tight as his voice usually was. "Which is more than I ever expected. You - you get aliens who treat quarians the way we were taught, thinking we're dirty or thieves, yes, but... but there are good people here too. I'm glad I met a few. I know you have too."

Veetor started when she reminded him of her promotion, giving a little gasp. "Ah! That's - that's right! Admiral! I'm - oh, congratulations!" All of a sudden he wasn't sure what to do with his hands. Did he salute? Or bow? "I heard about that, and I was so - it's just so good! Nobody deserves it more than you, Tali. I'm so happy for you." His own accomplishments paled in comparison. Being a voice and a leader for your entire people was a tad more impressive than holding a conversation without breaking down, but they both had different challenges. 

"To be honest, I haven't done a lot of market exploration," he said after thinking a moment, and getting past his excitement mixed with flusteredness. A common enough feeling for him. "I've been just adapting to living here, mostly. Meeting people, looking for a job - I may have found a good one. And working on a few projects. I - I need things to work on and tinker with, or else I start to get a bit... fidgety." More than usual. Which was saying something.

[friendshipstates]

"Picasso appreciates the name, It gives the platform some form of identity, even if the damage has long since been repaired."

He squeeze’s Veetor’s hand. “Hey, you’re my friend now. I can find things for us to do for those six hours, and I will be with you every step of the way, all the way to the meeting with Picasso.”

Gentaro scans the local events and smiles as one comes up. “It looks like one of my other Quarian buddies is putting on a stage show. Have you ever seen a magic show, Veetor? This buddy of mine goes by the stage name ‘Mister Phoenix’ and he does everything from card tricks to making Krogan disappear and reappear. Would you like to go to that show with me?”

[veetors-safe-place-blog]

"Oh, good. I'm glad it does. They do, I mean." Veetor remembered that geth were actually many, many 'beings' in one platform, and that when you were talking to one physical geth form, you were probably talking to thousands of them. They didn't really have the same differentiations and distinct individuals as organic life, but it was still more accurate to think of geth in the plural. The very high plural. 

"And... thank you." He said, sincerely, filled with a rush of relief that the human wasn't going to leave him. He returned the hand squeeze; a small step, but a significant one for him. "Again. I know I've been saying that a lot, but I - it really does mean so much. If I can ever repay you, I - I don't even know how I could, this is such a big, big thing, but... I'll try."

His eyes lit up behind their visor at the mention of another quarian doing magic - even more so, as they were already bioluminescent. "Oh! That sounds wonderful! I don't think I've ever seen that - I'd love to!" Maybe it was silly, but some small part of him wanted to believe that things like magic were real. Even if it was all sleight-of-hand and illusions, it would still be a lot of fun. 

[svgary-deactivated20150616]

Can you reblog this if you wouldn’t mind having pre-established relationships? I’m looking for RP partners, but everyone I approach replies as if they were strangers, and my muse needs friends. p(´⌒｀｡q)

[quarianengineeress-deactivated2]

Tali was happy to see him - she had seen him just before his rehabilitation end, and then the mess with the Collectors had happened; since then, she hadn’t truly had chance. Knowing he was well enough to hug someone - even if it was her, who held little threat to any quarian - was a relief, because it meant that there had been some healing, and even if it was tiny, at least it had happened.

"It’s okay!" she laughed, returning the hug with ease, wrapping both arms around his chest and trying not to knock his mask with her own. "I’m glad you’re doing better," she said sincerely. "How are you feeling, though, Veetor? Are you feeling better?"

[veetors-safe-place-blog]

"Oh - good!" He gave a little sigh of relief, noticeably relaxing just a bit when the hug was returned. He was having a successful social interaction, with someone he looked up to very much, and hadn't fallen on his face or said something foolish! This was wonderful. Hugs were also nice. "I'm glad to see you. There are so many aliens here. Ob-obviously. Some of them have been very nice! But it's, it's just good, to see another quarian." Especially one he knew and trusted. It almost felt like being home again. 

"Thank you," he said, as sincere as she was. After they released each other, Veetor resumed his characteristic slight rocking motion, though it wasn't nearly to distress levels. In fact, this might be as close to being relaxed as he'd come since landing on the Citadel. "I am better. Much." He nodded a couple times. He had to be better, or else even trying his Pilgrimage again would be a distant dream. "I... I hope you haven't been worrying about me. I know I caused quite a... fuss. Back then.

He looked down, fiddling a bit with his fingertips. That was an understatement. People had died. Their people. Part of him still couldn't believe he hadn't been punished, exiled, worse. 

"I... I never really thanked you, properly. For what you did for me, on Fr... Freedom's Progress. You saved my life. It's..." He paused, resolving not to get lost in the swirling maelstrom of feelings the name alone brought up. "I'm fine, re-really. The Citadel is - it's amazing. So many different people and ideas. I'm learning so much. But - but enough about me, how - how have you been? I'm sure you've been having all, all kinds of amazing adventures."

[quarianengineeress-deactivated2]

{ veetors-safe-place }

"Veetor!" Tali raised both arms in excitement and greeting. "How are you?" She hummed happily, leaning in and waiting for a response.

[veetors-safe-place-blog]

"Tali!" Veetor gasped - of all the billions of beings on this milling, chaotic anthill of a station, Tali'Zorah was the last person he expected to encounter. He was half-running over to her and giving her a hug before he even knew what he was doing, and surprising himself perhaps as much as she might be. Veetor was not really the hugging sort; he was able to interact with others without having a nervous breakdown but that was about all. But seeing one of his people after a long time away from them - particularly one to whom he owed so much - sort of overrode all of his anxious brain's failsafes, and propelled him into action. And a hug. 

Of course he realized what he was doing immediately and let go, brain catching up fast enough for him to be horrified. "Oh - I'm sorry, I - I was just -" Oh dear. He'd just hugged Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. Quarian right hand of Commander Shepard, hero of the Flotilla at least and the Galaxy at most, and his own personal hero for rescuing him from a nightmare come to horrible life on Freedom's Progress. Hopefully she wouldn't think him terribly awkward (more so) or anything bad like that. Of course, she'd seen him at his worst after the Collector invasion, so a spur-of-the-moment hug couldn't be much worse than that. "It's - it's very good to see you! That's, uh, that's all. I'm - I'm still alive!"

[veetors-safe-place-blog]

adrenalne started following veetors-safe-place

Veetor was staring at the human. He'd really been working on not doing that lately. Staring was very impolite in several species and cultures, and even a dominance challenge in some (something the timid quarian would never dream of attempting), but he couldn't help it. The muscular human's tattoos were just too impressive - and baffling. Quarians had tattoos once. Then their immune systems failed over generations until they couldn't even breathe unfiltered air without running a fever, much less have ink injected under their skin. The only quarians with ink now either had a death wish, or the best immunoboosters money could buy. Humans, apparently, were made of much tougher stuff.

Besides, they were just... cool. Cool enough that Veetor hadn't been able to look away for at least a few good seconds, and was probably looking increasingly strange. Didn't matter. Tattoos were mesmerizing. Still looking.