a fate worse than dying

@veintracks

click clack (icon by wolfythewitch)

27 posts

introduction

this is a roleplay blog based off c!wilbur in limbo run by @qwilbur. all posts are in character unless otherwise specified. this blog is associated with @lovinglyvivisected. otherwise, this is still mainly an independent concept.

soot (he/him, around 24) is quite literally a dead man walking, trapped in a train station. (maybe. probably)

this blog will feature themes of paranoia, dissociation, unreality, and (eventually) manipulation quite heavily. as a disclaimer: soot's mental state is primarily based off the admin's experiences, but other plot points are not. proceed with caution.

some rules + interaction info

i am going to be taking this blog fairly seriously! committing to the bit is fun and i will do this but in general i will be leaning away from overly indulgent/fluffy/silly interactions.

suggestive interaction is in general alright and might happen. however if you flirt with soot he probably will not give a fuck about you.

this blog is not a depiction of someone having a healthy time or at all an endorsement of how to handle situations. however please try to be sensitive in what you send in, considering that i am writing a lot of this from a personal place.

#intercom - in-character posts

#schedule delay - asks

#conductor announcement - ooc posts

#electromagnetic - interactions with dr. malpractice

#conductor announcement

googiekitsch-deactivated2024071

had this dream a hot doctor guy was trying to operate on me ie take out my organs and do medical malpractice but he was really really bad at it he had the worst grip of all time like literally he could not use tweezers anytime he tried to pick up my intestines with a pair of tweezers and he’d go “ooooh silly boy look i’ve got your organsssss ;)” they would fall perfectly into place on me again and he would just look really despondent about it all

@xandirt

\\ this blog is no longer part of the bursonaverse (no drama happened, this was just a personal choice). no changes have been made to the plot, and docsoot will still be central!

#conductor announcement

( Quick, methodical footsteps approach a small, cramped room down a long hallway. ) ( The practiced triple-rap of knuckle on wood rings from across the opposite end of the door. Outside stands the Doctor, posture perfect and glasses straight. The clearing of a throat interrupts the silence. )

"Ahem," ( he coughs, ) "May I come in?"

-@lovinglyvivisected

[It takes him a few seconds to make the neurons fire. With a jolt, he manages to stand up and unlock the door.]

[He feels the closest thing he's felt in a while to excitement, the note shadowed by a twist of resentment.]

Hello, Doctor.

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor hums in reply, a smile contorting his features. It does not reach his eyes. )

Hello, dear.

( His tone is pleasant enough as he stares, unblinking, at the other. He continues to make eye contact as he writes something on his clipboard. )

It's been about a fortnight since your last check-up. Will you do me a favor and follow me?

( The same interaction, as always. Just as the Doctor likes it. )

[The routine is frustratingly hypnotic. Soot doesn't want to think that he missed it, it's just another kind of monotony. Nonetheless, he follows suit. Obediently, one could say.]

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor leads Soot down the same hallway, towards the same room, unlocking the same door in the same methodical motion as always. He steps aside, offering Soot enter first, as always. Once they've both entered the small office, the Doctor pats twice on the exam table. Lined with cheap paper and hard fake-leather, the same as always. )

Sit, if you will.

( The Doctor smiles the same fakeish smile. His eyes have the same anticipation, the same excitement that he always has when treating his beloved patients. He places his clipboard down on the counter adjacent to him and waits for obedience. )

[Soot grits his teeth. He holds out for as long as he can before sitting down, digging his nails into his palms.]

How have you been, Doctor?

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor stares at Soot expectantly. He watches, preparing to step closer as Soot refuses to move, but he lets up once he does. )

Well, dear. And yourself? Tell me. Anything out of the ordinary?

( As the Doctor speaks, he approaches Soot on the table. He places a hand on Soot's back and the other on his sternum, gently adjusting Soot's posture for a moment. He pulls the stethoscope from around his neck, absently pressing the chestpiece onto Soot's heart to listen.

[The doctor can probably hear the way his breath halts, pulse jumping like some kind of animal. This is the only time he is ever aware of his heart without it feeling foreign and disgusting. The doctor's hands are cold.]

I've been...well, normal for myself. Still haven't felt very connected, I think.

lovinglyvivisected

I see, dear. That's good that you seem relatively similar — although it's a shame you're so disconnected. At the very least, you seem very responsive so far.

( The Doctor lingers on listening to Soot's heart for a moment before moving to his lungs. He wraps his arm around Soot, now pressing his hand against the other's back. )

Inhale.

( The command is stern, expectant. )

[He breathes in deeply, feeling it tense in his chest as the rest of his body relaxes, counting the seconds absentmindedly.]

I've been trying to keep track of time. It's still...just the station a lot. I remember I saw you recently. I just forget the details.

lovinglyvivisected

( Doc smiles to himself as Soot breathes. He continues to listen for a moment before removing the stethoscope from his ears and returning it to idle around his neck. )

Your vitals seem normal — ( A beat, ) — but you need to work on staying calm during check-ups. All I'm doing is looking you over.

( The Doctor's voice is a bit lower than it needs to be, it sounds almost purposeful. His gloved hand gently rests on Soot's shoulder. )

Of course. My apologies, Doctor.

[Soot turns to stare at the gloved hand.]

I'm glad everything seems fine. It still doesn't feel like...this is right. I'm just in some sort of vessel which is bringing me to you.

...But I know you understand that.

lovinglyvivisected

I'm aware, my friend.

How has the medicine been treating you, hm?

( The Doctor takes his hand off of Soot momentarily. He contemplates for a moment, deciding to gently raise soot's left arm outward. He gently squeezes on it before lifting up Soot's sleeve to the elbow and examining his forearm. He places a thumb on the tendon of Soot's wrist, holding it there for a moment. )

[It's an unusual pressure. He grits his teeth.]

I'm not sure. I don't think I've gotten worse but...I'm not sure what's supposed to happen. I haven't been too upset, I suppose.

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor lets go, making note of Soot's reaction. )

I see. Judging by what you've told me, I think I may need to up your dosage a bit. It seems like it isn't working quite like it should — Do you mind that?

...And how is it supposed to be working?

[He pulls back and crosses his arms over his chest, straightening. He keeps his eyes slightly away from the Doctor's, but still firm.]

I'm not sure if I want you to do that, you see. What if I said no?

lovinglyvivisected

( He stares directly at Soot's eyes. There's something unreadable behind his eyes, kept firm on the other. )

I'm giving you an anticoagulant. Since you died, Soot, your blood flow has been erratic, to say the least. The medicine is to make sure you don't get hurt.

( The tone of voice is cold, an ice-pick to the brain. )

Would you rather risk blood clots in the wrong place, Soot? Do you want to injure yourself further?

[He flinches before he can catch himself. It feels like the doctor has already reached inside, scratched at his rotting nerves and rewired him. He holds on to the ground he still has left.]

I understand.

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor's expression softens slightly. )

That's it, good. Good boy.

( His voice is lower. Softer. )

It won't be by much, dear. You should be fine. If you experience anything aside from ordinary, let me know.

I-

[The sudden shift in tone takes him by surprise. He breathes, shakily, trying to redefend himself against the warmth.]

I'll let you know. Thank you.

( Quick, methodical footsteps approach a small, cramped room down a long hallway. ) ( The practiced triple-rap of knuckle on wood rings from across the opposite end of the door. Outside stands the Doctor, posture perfect and glasses straight. The clearing of a throat interrupts the silence. )

"Ahem," ( he coughs, ) "May I come in?"

-@lovinglyvivisected

[It takes him a few seconds to make the neurons fire. With a jolt, he manages to stand up and unlock the door.]

[He feels the closest thing he's felt in a while to excitement, the note shadowed by a twist of resentment.]

Hello, Doctor.

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor hums in reply, a smile contorting his features. It does not reach his eyes. )

Hello, dear.

( His tone is pleasant enough as he stares, unblinking, at the other. He continues to make eye contact as he writes something on his clipboard. )

It's been about a fortnight since your last check-up. Will you do me a favor and follow me?

( The same interaction, as always. Just as the Doctor likes it. )

[The routine is frustratingly hypnotic. Soot doesn't want to think that he missed it, it's just another kind of monotony. Nonetheless, he follows suit. Obediently, one could say.]

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor leads Soot down the same hallway, towards the same room, unlocking the same door in the same methodical motion as always. He steps aside, offering Soot enter first, as always. Once they've both entered the small office, the Doctor pats twice on the exam table. Lined with cheap paper and hard fake-leather, the same as always. )

Sit, if you will.

( The Doctor smiles the same fakeish smile. His eyes have the same anticipation, the same excitement that he always has when treating his beloved patients. He places his clipboard down on the counter adjacent to him and waits for obedience. )

[Soot grits his teeth. He holds out for as long as he can before sitting down, digging his nails into his palms.]

How have you been, Doctor?

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor stares at Soot expectantly. He watches, preparing to step closer as Soot refuses to move, but he lets up once he does. )

Well, dear. And yourself? Tell me. Anything out of the ordinary?

( As the Doctor speaks, he approaches Soot on the table. He places a hand on Soot's back and the other on his sternum, gently adjusting Soot's posture for a moment. He pulls the stethoscope from around his neck, absently pressing the chestpiece onto Soot's heart to listen.

[The doctor can probably hear the way his breath halts, pulse jumping like some kind of animal. This is the only time he is ever aware of his heart without it feeling foreign and disgusting. The doctor's hands are cold.]

I've been...well, normal for myself. Still haven't felt very connected, I think.

lovinglyvivisected

I see, dear. That's good that you seem relatively similar — although it's a shame you're so disconnected. At the very least, you seem very responsive so far.

( The Doctor lingers on listening to Soot's heart for a moment before moving to his lungs. He wraps his arm around Soot, now pressing his hand against the other's back. )

Inhale.

( The command is stern, expectant. )

[He breathes in deeply, feeling it tense in his chest as the rest of his body relaxes, counting the seconds absentmindedly.]

I've been trying to keep track of time. It's still...just the station a lot. I remember I saw you recently. I just forget the details.

lovinglyvivisected

( Doc smiles to himself as Soot breathes. He continues to listen for a moment before removing the stethoscope from his ears and returning it to idle around his neck. )

Your vitals seem normal — ( A beat, ) — but you need to work on staying calm during check-ups. All I'm doing is looking you over.

( The Doctor's voice is a bit lower than it needs to be, it sounds almost purposeful. His gloved hand gently rests on Soot's shoulder. )

Of course. My apologies, Doctor.

[Soot turns to stare at the gloved hand.]

I'm glad everything seems fine. It still doesn't feel like...this is right. I'm just in some sort of vessel which is bringing me to you.

...But I know you understand that.

lovinglyvivisected

I'm aware, my friend.

How has the medicine been treating you, hm?

( The Doctor takes his hand off of Soot momentarily. He contemplates for a moment, deciding to gently raise soot's left arm outward. He gently squeezes on it before lifting up Soot's sleeve to the elbow and examining his forearm. He places a thumb on the tendon of Soot's wrist, holding it there for a moment. )

[It's an unusual pressure. He grits his teeth.]

I'm not sure. I don't think I've gotten worse but...I'm not sure what's supposed to happen. I haven't been too upset, I suppose.

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor lets go, making note of Soot's reaction. )

I see. Judging by what you've told me, I think I may need to up your dosage a bit. It seems like it isn't working quite like it should — Do you mind that?

...And how is it supposed to be working?

[He pulls back and crosses his arms over his chest, straightening. He keeps his eyes slightly away from the Doctor's, but still firm.]

I'm not sure if I want you to do that, you see. What if I said no?

lovinglyvivisected

( He stares directly at Soot's eyes. There's something unreadable behind his eyes, kept firm on the other. )

I'm giving you an anticoagulant. Since you died, Soot, your blood flow has been erratic, to say the least. The medicine is to make sure you don't get hurt.

( The tone of voice is cold, an ice-pick to the brain. )

Would you rather risk blood clots in the wrong place, Soot? Do you want to injure yourself further?

[He flinches before he can catch himself. It feels like the doctor has already reached inside, scratched at his rotting nerves and rewired him. He holds on to the ground he still has left.]

I understand.

( Quick, methodical footsteps approach a small, cramped room down a long hallway. ) ( The practiced triple-rap of knuckle on wood rings from across the opposite end of the door. Outside stands the Doctor, posture perfect and glasses straight. The clearing of a throat interrupts the silence. )

"Ahem," ( he coughs, ) "May I come in?"

-@lovinglyvivisected

[It takes him a few seconds to make the neurons fire. With a jolt, he manages to stand up and unlock the door.]

[He feels the closest thing he's felt in a while to excitement, the note shadowed by a twist of resentment.]

Hello, Doctor.

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor hums in reply, a smile contorting his features. It does not reach his eyes. )

Hello, dear.

( His tone is pleasant enough as he stares, unblinking, at the other. He continues to make eye contact as he writes something on his clipboard. )

It's been about a fortnight since your last check-up. Will you do me a favor and follow me?

( The same interaction, as always. Just as the Doctor likes it. )

[The routine is frustratingly hypnotic. Soot doesn't want to think that he missed it, it's just another kind of monotony. Nonetheless, he follows suit. Obediently, one could say.]

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor leads Soot down the same hallway, towards the same room, unlocking the same door in the same methodical motion as always. He steps aside, offering Soot enter first, as always. Once they've both entered the small office, the Doctor pats twice on the exam table. Lined with cheap paper and hard fake-leather, the same as always. )

Sit, if you will.

( The Doctor smiles the same fakeish smile. His eyes have the same anticipation, the same excitement that he always has when treating his beloved patients. He places his clipboard down on the counter adjacent to him and waits for obedience. )

[Soot grits his teeth. He holds out for as long as he can before sitting down, digging his nails into his palms.]

How have you been, Doctor?

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor stares at Soot expectantly. He watches, preparing to step closer as Soot refuses to move, but he lets up once he does. )

Well, dear. And yourself? Tell me. Anything out of the ordinary?

( As the Doctor speaks, he approaches Soot on the table. He places a hand on Soot's back and the other on his sternum, gently adjusting Soot's posture for a moment. He pulls the stethoscope from around his neck, absently pressing the chestpiece onto Soot's heart to listen.

[The doctor can probably hear the way his breath halts, pulse jumping like some kind of animal. This is the only time he is ever aware of his heart without it feeling foreign and disgusting. The doctor's hands are cold.]

I've been...well, normal for myself. Still haven't felt very connected, I think.

lovinglyvivisected

I see, dear. That's good that you seem relatively similar — although it's a shame you're so disconnected. At the very least, you seem very responsive so far.

( The Doctor lingers on listening to Soot's heart for a moment before moving to his lungs. He wraps his arm around Soot, now pressing his hand against the other's back. )

Inhale.

( The command is stern, expectant. )

[He breathes in deeply, feeling it tense in his chest as the rest of his body relaxes, counting the seconds absentmindedly.]

I've been trying to keep track of time. It's still...just the station a lot. I remember I saw you recently. I just forget the details.

lovinglyvivisected

( Doc smiles to himself as Soot breathes. He continues to listen for a moment before removing the stethoscope from his ears and returning it to idle around his neck. )

Your vitals seem normal — ( A beat, ) — but you need to work on staying calm during check-ups. All I'm doing is looking you over.

( The Doctor's voice is a bit lower than it needs to be, it sounds almost purposeful. His gloved hand gently rests on Soot's shoulder. )

Of course. My apologies, Doctor.

[Soot turns to stare at the gloved hand.]

I'm glad everything seems fine. It still doesn't feel like...this is right. I'm just in some sort of vessel which is bringing me to you.

...But I know you understand that.

lovinglyvivisected

I'm aware, my friend.

How has the medicine been treating you, hm?

( The Doctor takes his hand off of Soot momentarily. He contemplates for a moment, deciding to gently raise soot's left arm outward. He gently squeezes on it before lifting up Soot's sleeve to the elbow and examining his forearm. He places a thumb on the tendon of Soot's wrist, holding it there for a moment. )

[It's an unusual pressure. He grits his teeth.]

I'm not sure. I don't think I've gotten worse but...I'm not sure what's supposed to happen. I haven't been too upset, I suppose.

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor lets go, making note of Soot's reaction. )

I see. Judging by what you've told me, I think I may need to up your dosage a bit. It seems like it isn't working quite like it should — Do you mind that?

...And how is it supposed to be working?

[He pulls back and crosses his arms over his chest, straightening. He keeps his eyes slightly away from the Doctor's, but still firm.]

I'm not sure if I want you to do that, you see. What if I said no?

( Quick, methodical footsteps approach a small, cramped room down a long hallway. ) ( The practiced triple-rap of knuckle on wood rings from across the opposite end of the door. Outside stands the Doctor, posture perfect and glasses straight. The clearing of a throat interrupts the silence. )

"Ahem," ( he coughs, ) "May I come in?"

-@lovinglyvivisected

[It takes him a few seconds to make the neurons fire. With a jolt, he manages to stand up and unlock the door.]

[He feels the closest thing he's felt in a while to excitement, the note shadowed by a twist of resentment.]

Hello, Doctor.

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor hums in reply, a smile contorting his features. It does not reach his eyes. )

Hello, dear.

( His tone is pleasant enough as he stares, unblinking, at the other. He continues to make eye contact as he writes something on his clipboard. )

It's been about a fortnight since your last check-up. Will you do me a favor and follow me?

( The same interaction, as always. Just as the Doctor likes it. )

[The routine is frustratingly hypnotic. Soot doesn't want to think that he missed it, it's just another kind of monotony. Nonetheless, he follows suit. Obediently, one could say.]

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor leads Soot down the same hallway, towards the same room, unlocking the same door in the same methodical motion as always. He steps aside, offering Soot enter first, as always. Once they've both entered the small office, the Doctor pats twice on the exam table. Lined with cheap paper and hard fake-leather, the same as always. )

Sit, if you will.

( The Doctor smiles the same fakeish smile. His eyes have the same anticipation, the same excitement that he always has when treating his beloved patients. He places his clipboard down on the counter adjacent to him and waits for obedience. )

[Soot grits his teeth. He holds out for as long as he can before sitting down, digging his nails into his palms.]

How have you been, Doctor?

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor stares at Soot expectantly. He watches, preparing to step closer as Soot refuses to move, but he lets up once he does. )

Well, dear. And yourself? Tell me. Anything out of the ordinary?

( As the Doctor speaks, he approaches Soot on the table. He places a hand on Soot's back and the other on his sternum, gently adjusting Soot's posture for a moment. He pulls the stethoscope from around his neck, absently pressing the chestpiece onto Soot's heart to listen.

[The doctor can probably hear the way his breath halts, pulse jumping like some kind of animal. This is the only time he is ever aware of his heart without it feeling foreign and disgusting. The doctor's hands are cold.]

I've been...well, normal for myself. Still haven't felt very connected, I think.

lovinglyvivisected

I see, dear. That's good that you seem relatively similar — although it's a shame you're so disconnected. At the very least, you seem very responsive so far.

( The Doctor lingers on listening to Soot's heart for a moment before moving to his lungs. He wraps his arm around Soot, now pressing his hand against the other's back. )

Inhale.

( The command is stern, expectant. )

[He breathes in deeply, feeling it tense in his chest as the rest of his body relaxes, counting the seconds absentmindedly.]

I've been trying to keep track of time. It's still...just the station a lot. I remember I saw you recently. I just forget the details.

lovinglyvivisected

( Doc smiles to himself as Soot breathes. He continues to listen for a moment before removing the stethoscope from his ears and returning it to idle around his neck. )

Your vitals seem normal — ( A beat, ) — but you need to work on staying calm during check-ups. All I'm doing is looking you over.

( The Doctor's voice is a bit lower than it needs to be, it sounds almost purposeful. His gloved hand gently rests on Soot's shoulder. )

Of course. My apologies, Doctor.

[Soot turns to stare at the gloved hand.]

I'm glad everything seems fine. It still doesn't feel like...this is right. I'm just in some sort of vessel which is bringing me to you.

...But I know you understand that.

lovinglyvivisected

I'm aware, my friend.

How has the medicine been treating you, hm?

( The Doctor takes his hand off of Soot momentarily. He contemplates for a moment, deciding to gently raise soot's left arm outward. He gently squeezes on it before lifting up Soot's sleeve to the elbow and examining his forearm. He places a thumb on the tendon of Soot's wrist, holding it there for a moment. )

[It's an unusual pressure. He grits his teeth.]

I'm not sure. I don't think I've gotten worse but...I'm not sure what's supposed to happen. I haven't been too upset, I suppose.

bursonaverse-updates

@veintracks (Limbobur) and @lovinglyvivisected (Dr Malpractice) may or may not have something going on

\\ lol. also using this as a reminder to everyone that this blog is centered around some intense topics! stay safe because its hard to cw for the whole general vibe here

#conductor announcement

( Quick, methodical footsteps approach a small, cramped room down a long hallway. ) ( The practiced triple-rap of knuckle on wood rings from across the opposite end of the door. Outside stands the Doctor, posture perfect and glasses straight. The clearing of a throat interrupts the silence. )

"Ahem," ( he coughs, ) "May I come in?"

-@lovinglyvivisected

[It takes him a few seconds to make the neurons fire. With a jolt, he manages to stand up and unlock the door.]

[He feels the closest thing he's felt in a while to excitement, the note shadowed by a twist of resentment.]

Hello, Doctor.

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor hums in reply, a smile contorting his features. It does not reach his eyes. )

Hello, dear.

( His tone is pleasant enough as he stares, unblinking, at the other. He continues to make eye contact as he writes something on his clipboard. )

It's been about a fortnight since your last check-up. Will you do me a favor and follow me?

( The same interaction, as always. Just as the Doctor likes it. )

[The routine is frustratingly hypnotic. Soot doesn't want to think that he missed it, it's just another kind of monotony. Nonetheless, he follows suit. Obediently, one could say.]

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor leads Soot down the same hallway, towards the same room, unlocking the same door in the same methodical motion as always. He steps aside, offering Soot enter first, as always. Once they've both entered the small office, the Doctor pats twice on the exam table. Lined with cheap paper and hard fake-leather, the same as always. )

Sit, if you will.

( The Doctor smiles the same fakeish smile. His eyes have the same anticipation, the same excitement that he always has when treating his beloved patients. He places his clipboard down on the counter adjacent to him and waits for obedience. )

[Soot grits his teeth. He holds out for as long as he can before sitting down, digging his nails into his palms.]

How have you been, Doctor?

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor stares at Soot expectantly. He watches, preparing to step closer as Soot refuses to move, but he lets up once he does. )

Well, dear. And yourself? Tell me. Anything out of the ordinary?

( As the Doctor speaks, he approaches Soot on the table. He places a hand on Soot's back and the other on his sternum, gently adjusting Soot's posture for a moment. He pulls the stethoscope from around his neck, absently pressing the chestpiece onto Soot's heart to listen.

[The doctor can probably hear the way his breath halts, pulse jumping like some kind of animal. This is the only time he is ever aware of his heart without it feeling foreign and disgusting. The doctor's hands are cold.]

I've been...well, normal for myself. Still haven't felt very connected, I think.

lovinglyvivisected

I see, dear. That's good that you seem relatively similar — although it's a shame you're so disconnected. At the very least, you seem very responsive so far.

( The Doctor lingers on listening to Soot's heart for a moment before moving to his lungs. He wraps his arm around Soot, now pressing his hand against the other's back. )

Inhale.

( The command is stern, expectant. )

[He breathes in deeply, feeling it tense in his chest as the rest of his body relaxes, counting the seconds absentmindedly.]

I've been trying to keep track of time. It's still...just the station a lot. I remember I saw you recently. I just forget the details.

lovinglyvivisected

( Doc smiles to himself as Soot breathes. He continues to listen for a moment before removing the stethoscope from his ears and returning it to idle around his neck. )

Your vitals seem normal — ( A beat, ) — but you need to work on staying calm during check-ups. All I'm doing is looking you over.

( The Doctor's voice is a bit lower than it needs to be, it sounds almost purposeful. His gloved hand gently rests on Soot's shoulder. )

Of course. My apologies, Doctor.

[Soot turns to stare at the gloved hand.]

I'm glad everything seems fine. It still doesn't feel like...this is right. I'm just in some sort of vessel which is bringing me to you.

...But I know you understand that.

( Quick, methodical footsteps approach a small, cramped room down a long hallway. ) ( The practiced triple-rap of knuckle on wood rings from across the opposite end of the door. Outside stands the Doctor, posture perfect and glasses straight. The clearing of a throat interrupts the silence. )

"Ahem," ( he coughs, ) "May I come in?"

-@lovinglyvivisected

[It takes him a few seconds to make the neurons fire. With a jolt, he manages to stand up and unlock the door.]

[He feels the closest thing he's felt in a while to excitement, the note shadowed by a twist of resentment.]

Hello, Doctor.

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor hums in reply, a smile contorting his features. It does not reach his eyes. )

Hello, dear.

( His tone is pleasant enough as he stares, unblinking, at the other. He continues to make eye contact as he writes something on his clipboard. )

It's been about a fortnight since your last check-up. Will you do me a favor and follow me?

( The same interaction, as always. Just as the Doctor likes it. )

[The routine is frustratingly hypnotic. Soot doesn't want to think that he missed it, it's just another kind of monotony. Nonetheless, he follows suit. Obediently, one could say.]

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor leads Soot down the same hallway, towards the same room, unlocking the same door in the same methodical motion as always. He steps aside, offering Soot enter first, as always. Once they've both entered the small office, the Doctor pats twice on the exam table. Lined with cheap paper and hard fake-leather, the same as always. )

Sit, if you will.

( The Doctor smiles the same fakeish smile. His eyes have the same anticipation, the same excitement that he always has when treating his beloved patients. He places his clipboard down on the counter adjacent to him and waits for obedience. )

[Soot grits his teeth. He holds out for as long as he can before sitting down, digging his nails into his palms.]

How have you been, Doctor?

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor stares at Soot expectantly. He watches, preparing to step closer as Soot refuses to move, but he lets up once he does. )

Well, dear. And yourself? Tell me. Anything out of the ordinary?

( As the Doctor speaks, he approaches Soot on the table. He places a hand on Soot's back and the other on his sternum, gently adjusting Soot's posture for a moment. He pulls the stethoscope from around his neck, absently pressing the chestpiece onto Soot's heart to listen.

[The doctor can probably hear the way his breath halts, pulse jumping like some kind of animal. This is the only time he is ever aware of his heart without it feeling foreign and disgusting. The doctor's hands are cold.]

I've been...well, normal for myself. Still haven't felt very connected, I think.

lovinglyvivisected

I see, dear. That's good that you seem relatively similar — although it's a shame you're so disconnected. At the very least, you seem very responsive so far.

( The Doctor lingers on listening to Soot's heart for a moment before moving to his lungs. He wraps his arm around Soot, now pressing his hand against the other's back. )

Inhale.

( The command is stern, expectant. )

[He breathes in deeply, feeling it tense in his chest as the rest of his body relaxes, counting the seconds absentmindedly.]

I've been trying to keep track of time. It's still...just the station a lot. I remember I saw you recently. I just forget the details.

( Quick, methodical footsteps approach a small, cramped room down a long hallway. ) ( The practiced triple-rap of knuckle on wood rings from across the opposite end of the door. Outside stands the Doctor, posture perfect and glasses straight. The clearing of a throat interrupts the silence. )

"Ahem," ( he coughs, ) "May I come in?"

-@lovinglyvivisected

[It takes him a few seconds to make the neurons fire. With a jolt, he manages to stand up and unlock the door.]

[He feels the closest thing he's felt in a while to excitement, the note shadowed by a twist of resentment.]

Hello, Doctor.

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor hums in reply, a smile contorting his features. It does not reach his eyes. )

Hello, dear.

( His tone is pleasant enough as he stares, unblinking, at the other. He continues to make eye contact as he writes something on his clipboard. )

It's been about a fortnight since your last check-up. Will you do me a favor and follow me?

( The same interaction, as always. Just as the Doctor likes it. )

[The routine is frustratingly hypnotic. Soot doesn't want to think that he missed it, it's just another kind of monotony. Nonetheless, he follows suit. Obediently, one could say.]

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor leads Soot down the same hallway, towards the same room, unlocking the same door in the same methodical motion as always. He steps aside, offering Soot enter first, as always. Once they've both entered the small office, the Doctor pats twice on the exam table. Lined with cheap paper and hard fake-leather, the same as always. )

Sit, if you will.

( The Doctor smiles the same fakeish smile. His eyes have the same anticipation, the same excitement that he always has when treating his beloved patients. He places his clipboard down on the counter adjacent to him and waits for obedience. )

[Soot grits his teeth. He holds out for as long as he can before sitting down, digging his nails into his palms.]

How have you been, Doctor?

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor stares at Soot expectantly. He watches, preparing to step closer as Soot refuses to move, but he lets up once he does. )

Well, dear. And yourself? Tell me. Anything out of the ordinary?

( As the Doctor speaks, he approaches Soot on the table. He places a hand on Soot's back and the other on his sternum, gently adjusting Soot's posture for a moment. He pulls the stethoscope from around his neck, absently pressing the chestpiece onto Soot's heart to listen.

[The doctor can probably hear the way his breath halts, pulse jumping like some kind of animal. This is the only time he is ever aware of his heart without it feeling foreign and disgusting. The doctor's hands are cold.]

I've been...well, normal for myself. Still haven't felt very connected, I think.

( Quick, methodical footsteps approach a small, cramped room down a long hallway. ) ( The practiced triple-rap of knuckle on wood rings from across the opposite end of the door. Outside stands the Doctor, posture perfect and glasses straight. The clearing of a throat interrupts the silence. )

"Ahem," ( he coughs, ) "May I come in?"

-@lovinglyvivisected

[It takes him a few seconds to make the neurons fire. With a jolt, he manages to stand up and unlock the door.]

[He feels the closest thing he's felt in a while to excitement, the note shadowed by a twist of resentment.]

Hello, Doctor.

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor hums in reply, a smile contorting his features. It does not reach his eyes. )

Hello, dear.

( His tone is pleasant enough as he stares, unblinking, at the other. He continues to make eye contact as he writes something on his clipboard. )

It's been about a fortnight since your last check-up. Will you do me a favor and follow me?

( The same interaction, as always. Just as the Doctor likes it. )

[The routine is frustratingly hypnotic. Soot doesn't want to think that he missed it, it's just another kind of monotony. Nonetheless, he follows suit. Obediently, one could say.]

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor leads Soot down the same hallway, towards the same room, unlocking the same door in the same methodical motion as always. He steps aside, offering Soot enter first, as always. Once they've both entered the small office, the Doctor pats twice on the exam table. Lined with cheap paper and hard fake-leather, the same as always. )

Sit, if you will.

( The Doctor smiles the same fakeish smile. His eyes have the same anticipation, the same excitement that he always has when treating his beloved patients. He places his clipboard down on the counter adjacent to him and waits for obedience. )

[Soot grits his teeth. He holds out for as long as he can before sitting down, digging his nails into his palms.]

How have you been, Doctor?

( Quick, methodical footsteps approach a small, cramped room down a long hallway. ) ( The practiced triple-rap of knuckle on wood rings from across the opposite end of the door. Outside stands the Doctor, posture perfect and glasses straight. The clearing of a throat interrupts the silence. )

"Ahem," ( he coughs, ) "May I come in?"

-@lovinglyvivisected

[It takes him a few seconds to make the neurons fire. With a jolt, he manages to stand up and unlock the door.]

[He feels the closest thing he's felt in a while to excitement, the note shadowed by a twist of resentment.]

Hello, Doctor.

lovinglyvivisected

( The Doctor hums in reply, a smile contorting his features. It does not reach his eyes. )

Hello, dear.

( His tone is pleasant enough as he stares, unblinking, at the other. He continues to make eye contact as he writes something on his clipboard. )

It's been about a fortnight since your last check-up. Will you do me a favor and follow me?

( The same interaction, as always. Just as the Doctor likes it. )

[The routine is frustratingly hypnotic. Soot doesn't want to think that he missed it, it's just another kind of monotony. Nonetheless, he follows suit. Obediently, one could say.]

( Quick, methodical footsteps approach a small, cramped room down a long hallway. ) ( The practiced triple-rap of knuckle on wood rings from across the opposite end of the door. Outside stands the Doctor, posture perfect and glasses straight. The clearing of a throat interrupts the silence. )

"Ahem," ( he coughs, ) "May I come in?"

-@lovinglyvivisected

[It takes him a few seconds to make the neurons fire. With a jolt, he manages to stand up and unlock the door.]

[He feels the closest thing he's felt in a while to excitement, the note shadowed by a twist of resentment.]

Hello, Doctor.

#schedule delay #electromagnetic

Good morning, dear.

How are you holding out this morning? Any dizziness? – @lovinglyvivisected

ah- good morning doctor.

i feel a bit dull, but i'm fine, i suppose. i've been resting.

it's nice to see you again.

#schedule delay #electromagnetic

how many others do you come across? you mentioned being taken care of, so you're not alone, are you?

no no i can- talk to people. it's different from them really seeing me. clearly you can't.

#schedule delay

Are there stars in the hollow shell of the world you inhabit?

i think there can be. i remember seeing them once. they were blurry around the edges.

it was nice. i hope i get taken back there.

#schedule delay

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