journal

i have thoughts

[velmaifsheslayed]

just made out with a guy who owns a gas station at the club and he just sent me a hundred dollars wtf i need to get into the gas business

[velmaifsheslayed]

i’m so penis coded

[velmaifsheslayed]

ok i tried to piss in someone’s yard at the beach earlier but i just had a giant coffee so i kinda shidded in their yard no one tell please thx

[velmaifsheslayed]

if you really love me don’t peel my fucking orange for me that’s the fun part

[velmaifsheslayed]

i want full grown out bush but it’s also soooo funnnn to snip the little hairs with scissors it’s even better than picking at my skin so i end up with a sort of mullet bush situation bc the ones around my actual puss aren’t fun to cut so i don’t. anyway happy thursday

[velmaifsheslayed]

i made this username because i dressed up as slutty velma scooby doo for halloween. but i have since grown and i now realize she already slayed. but no i will not be changing it.

[velmaifsheslayed]

all i do all day is scroll on my phone but then i go to the gym and there’s not a damn thing i wanna look at

[velmaifsheslayed]

[velmaifsheslayed]

if you can’t handle me at my pesto you don’t deserve me at my tic tac

[velmaifsheslayed]

broccoli for lunch apple for dinner……. can i be arrested for this

[velmaifsheslayed]

if i see the word yap one more time on hinge i’m taking a vow of celibacy for the rest of the year

[velmaifsheslayed]

i’m so fucking stupid this is definitely gonna make it worse and if it doesn’t then that sucks even more

[velmaifsheslayed]

ok evil take but breaking up with people with depression is kinda awesome bc i know they’re doing worse than me

[velmaifsheslayed]

[velmaifsheslayed]

broke up with the throuple. i never should have even tried

[velmaifsheslayed]

i’ve peed in a bag twice tonight #ongod

[velmaifsheslayed]

ok guys let’s pee in this bag💯