Vaginal-Discourse @velvetcatnip - Tumblr Blog

I'm sorry

I've had a headache for 3 days. I just want to blow my brains out.

I feel like I'm out of my body and watching it rot while people talk to my bloated swelling corpse like it will talk back.

I've had so many near misses the past few weeks it genuinely feels like a sign.

I should have died in that fire.

I'm trying my hardest, and everyone acts like it's nothing. Maybe it's true. My hardest isn't worth anything. It doesn't matter how hard I try or how long. It's never going to fucking pay off. Why fucking try

I don't think I can get back up this time. I did get back up. I got back up as many times as I could. I got up so many times that nobody took note. It was expected of me. I could do it so I should do it forever. I thought I could, too, but I can't. At this point, if I did, it would just be to prove that I could. It wouldn't be because I can win. I'm outmatched at every turn. I know I can't win. People love an underdog. People want to see them win. It doesn't matter at the end of the day. It's not some scripted match. It's life and the underdog gets eaten alive because life is ambivalent. Life doesn't care. The underdog doesn't deserve to win. I'm not getting back up.

I think I've made up my mind. I just have to follow through.

I'm never going to find it. I'm done looking.

I can't keep functioning like this. Somethings going to give

I'm barely hanging on

I think the choice is getting easier and easier to make.

I keep trying to find a different answer to the same problem because I don't like it 🙃. Just do it pussy

Shit definitely ain't getting better.

I just keep spiraling.

I think this year is gonna be the same.

I can't take the emptiness anymore

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