fuck you @vent-complex - Tumblr Blog

local idiot has to have the same lesson drilled into its head for the millionth time and still won't learn

ill just shut the fuck up next time im in crisis so i dont get told how bad of a job i do of taking care of everyone else

just going to back up and be less of a presence in everyone's lives. then it won't hurt so bad when i kms

its ok though i will just bawl until i feel better and thencgo to bed and in the morning i will stop having problems

so miserable want to die so so so badly so angry so upset and no outlet. no relief nothing

it's either i cut or i kill myself but trying to explain that to anyone just makes them more concerned for me

#im .. fine

can i just kms already this is ridiculous

its so crazy how bad i want to kms . im literally only staying alive to go to work in the morning and not have time to think about it for 8 jours if im lucky

have lost all sense of self preservation at this point if i get hit by a car thatd be great actually

off my meds for a week and already back to teetering on the edge of kms. dangerous game my doctor is playing with me

nobody wants to help me they just feel bad when i bring it up just because death = sad

i cannot speak to anyone about how fucking badly i want to die without making them upset so im never going to get help for it

only reason i haven't killed myself yet is im too sad to pick up the knife any more

i have no drive no motivation no passion any more. this job is killing all of it. my work isn't fulfilling. it sends me home in so much pain and i just recover enough by going immediately to bed.

i have no friends. i have no outlet. i have no life outside of my fucking job and even then i don't even have anything going on there!!! what am i doing it for. to pay bills to keep me alive to be able to...? go to work? i guess? i cant make friends and no one outside of who i live with gives a shit about me and even then he barely does.

literally nothing i do is ever going to be fulfilling. why am i alive. what's the fucking point!!!!!! i hate myself i don't want to be alive if this is all there is

cruelty to those who deserve it

genuinely a fucking miracle i haven't killed myself yet

#might just do it finally #my own parents don't even love me anymore #i have nothing worth being alive to see #my job is absolutely pointless

i need to kill myself. nobody in my life would miss me i am just a background character

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fuck you