maybe I'm just not good enough at all to feel your love

Vera Rollins - 27 - Fashion Blogger & Stylist

[vera-rollins]

flynn-omalley​:

“It sounds so much more romantic when you let me describe things,” he gave a nod as if confirming his own thought. “Besides we both know that you much rather be driven crazy by my antics than settle for being complacent with someone… civil,” he settled on. It was mostly teasing words. Being playful as they had been lately. But at least in his mind there was truth to it. A truth that he both depended on and was scared of. That in the end that there was no one else for them but each other. Even when he gave up on them he still believed it. “Are we just going to pretend that you have never been guilty of just doing that to me?” He rose an eyebrow. “I have plenty memories of you using me for relief.” He had come really just wanting to spend time with her, but he leaned into the flirting. As she tried to pull away he only brought her closer to him. “I didn’t know that I would be done this early then. Come on we both know that any plans you have won’t be as good.”

“And that’s only because you have some kind of twisted way of trying to romanticize things when they, well... aren’t.” She pretended to think about it for a moment before shrugging at the thought. “And what in the world is wrong with civil? I’ve dealt with an animal like you for so long, a little bit of peace and quiet sounds like a good thing to me.” She commented with a smug smile spreading across her lips. Truthfully, he was probably right. Civil would’ve probably meant boring and she definitely got bored and restless easily. If anything, Flynn always kept her on her toes. He was always exciting, endearing even yet sometimes, that was also in the some of the worst possible ways. “Alright, forget it. Sex talk aside.” Vera rolled her eyes as she sighed when he only pulled her back into him. “Am I going to be the one to break the news to him that I’m not coming or will you blow him off for me?” She picked her words carefully, wondering if she could stir Flynn up a little bit by making him think she were about to go out on a date. It wouldn’t have been Vera if she tried to make things easy for him after all.

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flynn-omalley​:

“That’s because to make sure you aren’t getting bored, I have to keep you on your toes. You forced my hand into being the surprise kind of guy,” an easy smile graced his lips as he shrugged. There was so much about her that did shape him into the guy he was. They grew together. The good and the bad they played a part in. She knew him in a way that he didn’t think it would ever be possible for someone else to know. And he knew her which was why he knew that his chances weren’t zero tonight. “Of course that isn’t what I am saying. I was thinking we could go to that bistro you like. Have a nice quiet meal. Buy a bottle of their most expensive wine and share a dessert. Go for a walk by the river. Come back here for a night cap and them have really hot passionate sex.” A smile broke out at the end as he grabbed her waist gently.

“If you mean keep me on my toes by making me constantly want to rip my hair out of my head every now and then yeah, sure, you’re probably correct about that.” She quipped back in an instant. She was snippy. He knew that and yet, he still managed to love her back despite of that. All the little things she hated about herself, Flynn had managed to love for for them throughout all the years that had passed between them. Or at least, for the most part he had. “Oh right -- so the plan is to wine and dine me first before you can have your way with me, huh?” She raised a brow at him, pretending to sound unconvinced about his plans. Truthfully, she was still a little torn -- bail on her current plans and make up an excuse as to why she couldn’t make it anymore or just turn Flynn down and say no. For some reason, the later option seemed harder. She never did have an easy time when it came to saying no to him given the magnetic hold he’d always had on her. “You couldn’t have asked me like - I don’t know, a whole five hours earlier?” She tried to wriggle out of his grasp a little.

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flynn-omalley​:

“Yeah, well some girls like it when a guy is spontaneous,” he lightly teased when his thoughts were focused on what her night was supposed to be. He knew that it could just be something with friends but of course a date was in the back of his mind. Things had been good, well for them at least so he kept that jealous thought to himself. “I think you are forgetting just how convincing I could be to just pretend like I don’t have a shot here.”

“Mhmmm, yeah.... you always did have a great track record when it came to spontaneity.” Vera commented, her tone sounding a little sarcastic as she gave him a shrug of her shoulders. She had made plans but when it came to Flynn, he was always the one she would easily break her plans for. Recently though, there were other things in her life that seemed to matter. She was a little torn trying to figure out which way to sway so she played it off with one of her signature eye rolls. “Look, if you’re trying to convince me by saying you want to have really hot passionate sex right now, I don’t think that’s going to sway me. You’re going to have to try a little harder than that.” A smug smile crossed her painted lips.

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flynn-omalley​:

Flynn didn’t know why it surprised him to see her done up like that. Like she should have somehow been expecting him. Or he guessed that he made the assumption that she would be free for him. “I had an earlier night from rehearsal. Thought I stop by to see if I could interest you in some dinner, but it looks like I am too late.”

“Oh.” The word fell away from her lips, almost as if Vera had to take a second to pause and think about things. “I mean, yeah - just showing up unexpectedly out of the blue.” She shrugged a little. Not like that had ever been an uncommon thing in their past before but with how their relationship had been lately, she wasn’t sure why there was a slight disappointment there that she had other plans. “You know, you’re not going to convince me to bail no matter how hard you try tonight, right?”

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@flynn-omalley​

“Oh, hey, what are -- you doing here...?” She was dressed up with a little more effort than usual, like she had somewhere to be as she bumped into him on her way out of the apartment. 

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christian-fenton​:

“Does it matter? Not like you would be caught eating from it,” he gave her a playful raise of the brows. He did legitimately work at the place, but it was a good cover for things as well. It was open late enough that his nights being eaten up weren’t questionable, but he hated lying to her the closer they got. She made it no secret what it meant to have her trust and that meant being honest. He couldn’t be that. Not fully. She couldn’t know what it was he did. Couldn’t know his real name. Yet everything felt the most naturally real in their time together. He just hoped that meant enough to her. “Did you just call me smart without being sarcastic?” He questioned as if he hadn’t heard her right. He had never expected her to stay and probably shouldn’t have let her, but he didn’t want her to go so he was selfish enough to agree. Yes, it came in handy to have her there to get him ice and such as his body throbbed with pain, but  it was just having her there that was simply the comfort that he had wanted so badly. To not be alone. Because while this was just part of the job, it didn’t mean he didn’t get scared. “I’m just impressed you actually sat on the couch at all,” he joked before turning it a tad serious. “You were a lifesaver that night. I don’t know what I would have done without you. Thank you… For being there for me.”

“I mean -- yeah, you’re right but still. Sometimes you’re just this little mosquito in my life and I feel like I know you so well yet sometimes I hardly know you at all.” Vera quipped. She kept her tone light. The more she got to know him, the less of a nuisance he actually was. Calling him a pest like a mosquito was far from how she felt now but calling Christian a pain had always been their little running commentary even if it were more a joke these days when back then he actually was kind of annoying.... “I -- what? Psssh -- I think not. As if I’d ever be stupid enough to do such a thing.” She back tracked on her words playfully but the smile lingered on her face, letting him know that her compliment had actually been genuine in the first place. Yet, it was his next comment where Vera could feel the shift in the conversation -- her features turning a little more serious as she let out a breath. “Well, you know, you’re kind of my friend so it’s not like I’m going to let you rot....” She responded quietly as her tone softened. Without even realizing it, her hand reached over to land on top of his gently. “And besides, you kind of had me freaking out. I was worried about you.” She admitted although on the actual night she had tried her best to mask any hint of that emotion even though it still showed.

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Text || Vera & Christian

Christian: The Big Apple? Seems like a very fitting place for you. Whoa I never said I was into it. I thought it was your thing since you want to not call your trip something else. There are a lot of reasons why I am single but I can safely say wanting to be a creep is not on there. Sounds to me that you are just wanting to hear it for your own ego. I don't know that I said that but if that is true you are gonna be the one super fond of me by the time you get back.

Vera: Hmmm, fitting you say. For god's sake Christian, it is not my thing! There is nothing about me that gives off the vibe that I would be into that kind of creepy weirdo shit! And so what if I want to hear it for my ego, huh? Just say it. You're not going to die. Um, no. Don't be ridiculous. You're being big headed again.

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Text || Vera & Christian

Christian: You said ok fine. Basically the same thing. Where you headed to. I think that there is a happy medium here. Romance and kinks don't have to be that separate but I respect what it is that you need for you. You want me to bare my heart just for your amusement.

Vera: It's different. Quit being nit picky. NYC for like a week or something. We'll see where the wind takes me. Look, when you start comparing romance to kidnapping - I start to think that there is something seriously wrong with you and that's probably why you're still single. No girl would want to touch you if they ever heard you say that out loud. I thought we talked about things, Christian. You're allowed to be vulnerable with me and share your feelings. More so especially when you're pouring your heart out about how much you're going to miss me. Besides, aren't you the one who always said distance makes the heart grow fonder?

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christian-fenton​:

“I meant clothing,” he gave her a scolding look before laughing. “But thank you for choosing cheap fast food as to what you think is my expertise,” he shook his head a little smile on lips. Wasn’t like she was wrong. It wasn’t like Christian grew up destitute but getting to go out to eat and things like that were seen more as a treat than a regular thing. His parents did the best they could and it prepared him well to survive on his own the way he had to now. “That is easier said then done. You never know when I’m gonna have to make an ass of myself again.” He knew that she had been worried about him, and she had a reason to be. More than she knew with the people he worked with, but it surprised him that her concern went so deep. That in her own way she was still voicing it now. “You know, you’re not so bad at the whole nursing thing.” She was gentle with him, and her touch had been so desired.

“Well it is your expertise, is it not? After all you and pizza. Wait -- which pizza chain is it that you work for again?” Vera fired back at him questionably. The realization dawned on him that she had no idea. While they’d spent time together and she found herself getting to know him more than she’d ever expected to, there were still plenty of unanswered questions about him. Not that she’d ever expected to be questions in the first place. Christian had never been someone she ever thought she’d find herself becoming remotely close to but somehow, he had managed to creep under her skin and become somewhat of an important fixture in her life. “You my friend, you’re smarter than that.” Vera found herself saying. She had to give him some credit. As much shit as she gave him, even teasingly he, he was a genuinely good guy. “It was probably because I was stuck with the couch and my back would’ve ached if I slept on it all night.” Vera lied. The truth was, she’d worried about him that night. Too much so to go to sleep. Enough so that she just wanted to be close enough to him where she could make sure he was alright and that feeling seemed foreign to her. To care about someone who was just a friend in that capacity. 

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Text || Vera & Christian

Christian: Copying me? Flattering. Well either way I hope you have a fun trip. Psychopath? That is a little bit of a stretch. Didn't know you were such an old school proper gal. You are stopping me!

Vera: It's not copying, Christian. You said okay and I said fine. They're two entirely different words. Oh trust me, I will. Look, forgive me for being a lady but I'd rather be romanced - not indulge some weirdo in his twisted fantasies as he attempts to stab me to death with his dick. I am not stopping you! I'm literally encouraging you to spill the beans and tell me the truth.

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Text || Vera & Christian

Christian: Who has the tone now? Have you polled them? You don't know. Didn't say it was a big deal. Friends can be open about their sexual preferences. I apparently can't say it cause you'll just silently laugh at it.

Vera: I fined your okay. There is no tone. Do I need to poll them? Anyone whose into that shit is obviously a psychopath. We're friends but I feel like that is a little too open. Oh come on. Just do it. Nothing's stopping you.

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Text || Vera & Christian

Christian: It's not a tone. I said okay. You absolutely did. You let me know what you weren't into that is a big thing to know about someone's sex life. That is the most full of shit way to try and get around something!

Vera: Ok fine. I'm pretty sure most people aren't into that kind of weirdness anyway, Christian. It's not as if it's a big deal. It's not full of shit when it's the truth! If you're going to miss me just say it!

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Text || Vera & Christian

Christian: Interesting but okay. Some people need a little something to keep the romance alive. I mean I only found out because you offered the information. How is laughing not mocking?

Vera: Okay, why are you giving me tone? You're acting like you don't believe me. Oh my god, Christian - I did not offer you any information and especially not information about my sex life! Mocking is saying things about it. I'm keeping my mouth shut and holding my tongue instead.

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Text || Vera & Christian

Christian: So you are just casually going away with a guy for a weekend? It's a little roleplaying. No said anything about whipping anyone. But now I know you're vanilla. I can't believe you would mock my vulnerability.

Vera: I mean, yeah? That's pretty much it. But roleplaying a kidnapping scene? No thank you. Mhmm, well, whether I am or not, it's not like you're going to find out. And I'm not mocking it! I am laughing at it! There is a difference!

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christian-fenton​:

“The only branding I have any clue on is the Nike swish. Everything else I will just have to take your word on,” he threw the sweater on the back of the nearest chair. Not only the conversation at hand but just every time he was in her place it reminded him just how different their worlds were. The glamour compared to the darkness. The stark contrast making him feel ridiculous for the drifts of feelings he let himself entertain. Especially after her comment about his stink, even if it was a joke. Being friends was one thing but never would a woman like her ever see more with him. “I can only sleep on one side of my face but other than that I would saying being able to open and close my eye without feeling like a thousand needles are being thrown at my cheek is an improvement. Be a few more weeks before I throw myself in the ring again.”

“Oh come on, you’re better than that. I’m sure you know things like McDonalds and Chick-fil-A at least.” Vera tipped her head to the side teasingly. By now, she knew what Christian was like. He’d make jokes to try and avoid serious discussions especially when it came to talking about himself. In a way, that was very much like Vera considering she had a habit of doing the same. It was either that or shutting down completely. “Oh well, you know -- this may just be a silly idea but how about you don’t throw yourself in the ring again? At least that way you won’t end up with your face bashed in for a second time.” She tried to keep her tone light but the seriousness still rang through her voice. “Besides - the last thing I want to do is have to stay over at your place again and play nurse all over.” It was the first time she’d stayed over at his that night. Something she’d never expected to do ever, in fact, the first time she’d stayed over at a guy’s place whom things were completely innocent with. 

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Text || Vera & Christian

Christian: Mmm I am just translating is all. And you say twisted others say kinky and we should never judge that. Aww because you miss me too that you want to hear my voice?

Vera: No, you're not translating. You're just assuming things and jumping to conclusions. Yeah well - hardcore BDSM and all that other weird shit? Not for me. No. More like because I want to laugh at you.

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christian-fenton​:

“I don’t have an obsession,” he laughed, shaking his head. “I just think they are cute. I’m not obsessed with everything that I find cute.” His hand dropped the with sweater when she didn’t take it, but his eyes dropped down when she described the brand. “Seems to me it is this  Balenciaga dude that is useless if I can’t tell the difference between this and Target,” he shrugged back at her. “Yeah, I gotta a little time before my shift,” he walked into her place. 

“Right - sure.” She left it at that before shutting the door behind them as she lead him into the apartment, a slow laugh leaving her lips. “Oh honey, that’s not Balenciaga. I was just naming a random brand. Thought you might know that one because of their shoes.” She shrugged. Clearly not. “Right, well thank god you came now instead of later. Don’t want you cheesifying up my place then with your stink.” Vera teased as she plopped down on the couch though her face turned serious for a moment. “So, how are you feeling today? Still sore?” She didn’t want to turn the conversation serious but she still worried about him even after she’d stay the night as his place.