Verbal Churning turned 11 today!

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@verbalchurning
Verbal Churning turned 11 today!
When TF Did that Happen
I think getting old sneaks up on you like a bad mugging in the middle of the night.
I mean really, think about it.
You go to bed like a normal person, then out of nowhere, boom, You wake up and cant move your neck. AT which point you start reanalyzing every single aspect of your day before. "Did i jump over a wall?" No… no just picked up a few toys "Did i Climb Kilimanjaro? no no, just walked around the block"
Its the part they dont tell you a bout, hat you dont realise. Things are really not what they were, physically and mentally. We cling on so much to our youth thinking we are indestructabble. Assuming we have more than enough time. That there is no "end"to say the least. That what you used to do, just a decent five years ago, you can do now. Well, truth is… the boat has sailed. Everything has impact.
I heard somewhere that what used to be easily dispensible when you were younger, as you begin to get older, isnt so simple. You really have to survey and then leap. To much on the table, so much at risk, and just like that neck, that pain shooting through the course of your body…. thats how much collateral damage there is when your older.
And no, im not saying 70s or 80s im talking that transition from early to late 30s that very tiny gap, has massive factor.
Swallowing that pill and realising those goals set for your life at this "old age"have yet to be achieved. Why? Cause i thought i had more time.
Today i woke up and realised, my son got an inch taller, my daughter is almost out of her diapers and somehow… i seem to have had this false sense of time standing still.
Scary, but true. No its not over, but, everything really counts more. So, yes, im a little more selfish with my time. The doormat has taken the mat out the door. I like my own company more. I tolerate and love my kids better than i do complete strangers and more than anything the time i spend with my mother counts so much more than a meeting or a missed deadline. Why… Time doesnt stand still.
WHats the point of all this? WHen i figure it out you'll know too. But for now, make every moment count, and i think its beyond time to rearrange the goal post. The plan from my twenties ceased to exist about two years ago. ANd a new roadmap has to be set.
When the heck did all this happen? somewhwere between procrastination and i have more time. That bit between the cappucinno and binge watch series cause im just EXHAUSTED.
Sidebar: Have you noticed how tired now is like a hangover in your twenties? Or is that just me? back to the point.
DIrection… Somewhere. Plan… Just simplify the focus. My mom always said, to eat an elephant, you have to do it, one bite at a time.
Terrifying but real. The game has changed.
#IAMRAO #Thirties #BackPain #Age #Mom
His Threads of Gold
He came and stole me in pieces and helped me melt segments of self within.
You see, i used duct tape and marveled at the golden threads of hope that hung from above. I knew i deserved the gold that drizzled like a chinese clay-pot. One that looked shattered on the outside, yet i knew itd be in due time that every piece would weave itself into a whole new me.
Then he came. WIth the perception of gold saying he could fix me. I held onto his hand and hoped. But within me, behind the duct tape, i knew i had to mend me.
For two wholes to become one.
two WHOLES... I Paused
I let go for a moment and began weaving and tying. I reached and jumped, moments in i fell and cracked again. I looked and saw him still there, asked him to keep going id catch up.
For He made me a whole in His image. I went back to the Source in search of the gold. That golden thread i saw once when i looked up.
Eagerly i reached and searched and felt deep within the duct tape peal off. And threads of gold gluing together a new me with all the scars. I knew each time it would take time as i looked up.
then i looked back at him and he still stood. Again i yelled back and said, keep going let me fix me. ill be right there. But he stood confident in his hollowness that he was Whole. but i looked through the cracks and begged him to go and find his gold and return. But he stood firm in ignorance and the duct-tape revealed itself.
Sadly i knew in that moment as i looked and reached for golden threads.... that i cannot wait and fix him. As it lays hidden well beyond my grasp.
I looked up and held onto HIm. As He created a new thing within me and bestowed on me a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
I looked up and He called me oaks of righteousness, and saw me as a planting of the LORD for the display of His splendor.
As He wove threads of gold through me making me anew. I looked at him and sadly i knew it in my soul.
I knew that this Hollow man, will wise up about the same time mules learn to talk. In time and in an instance, i stayed looking up as I still do, hanging onto Him as He weaves threads of Gold.
Ref: Job 11:12 // Isaiah 61: 3-4
It’s said there’s nothing worse than a woman’s scorn. But have you ever questioned the rise of that glory? It’s a decisive wound dug deep i
It's been 12yrs and this is even more relevant today.
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