so, it’s been three and a half years
it feels like a lifetime ago i overdosed but the experience still feels so close to me. two days ago i graduated with my associates degree in early childhood education. two days ago i accomplished what i promised myself i would, three and a half years ago sitting in that uncomfortable ply wood bed on top of a hill looking out onto my city from above. i didn’t know it at the time but i had a feeling i was done with chemistry, i needed something that fed my soul rather than crushing it. changing my major was the big turning point, i got perfect grades, i was stressed out but in a good way, i became so laser focused on my goals i allowed absolutely nothing to get in my way and for some reason i’m a little surprised it actually got me here. for the first time in my adult life i’ve set a major goal and accomplished it as quick as possible, i put my head down and did the work.
i’m lucky to feel proud of myself and i know it’s not stopping there, i’m transferring to a four year i university to get my bachelor’s degree in child development. teaching preschool has brought me so much joy, pride, and confidence. i’m also really lucky i had the best mentors to guide me to becoming the most intentional teacher i can be. i was sad to say bye to those preschoolers i’ve been teaching for an entire year but incredibly grateful for all the lessons in teaching that they unknowingly taught me.
i wonder how long i will use my attempt as a measuring stick in my life but if i’m being honest i don’t think it will ever stop. i almost died. and i don’t really mind it, it makes me feel proud of myself and proud of how far i’ve come, how dramatically i changed my own life on. my. own.