7B4T adds: No unnecessary talking to men. This includes arguing with men since it's a drain of energy and also degrading to debate your human rights, as well as no unnecessary platonic relationships with men as they will seek to soften your feminism or make you compromise your values.
8B4T adds: No compromise with men (regarding feminist goals). For example when fighting for abortion rights we shouldn't accept anything that doesn't give us total control over our own bodies. We shouldn't stop fighting for / building the ability to live and work separately is another. So always keep fighting.
9B4T adds: No activities in which women are the product. The obvious one to this is the sex industry, but also surrogacy and eggsploitation (egg selling, bc unfortunately female gamete procurement is a brutal process unlike male gametes). Another angle of this is clubs where "women come free" or such things. It's only free because women are the product for men who will then spend more money on the business.
Ignoring the fact that women, especially lesbians who may as well have a PhD is Pussy Appreciation, can tell the difference between a vagina and an inverted penis, this is fucking rape :)
May your inverted penis get maggots you can never truly treat and may it be miserable <3
ā[Rape is] nothing more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear.ā
ā Susan Brownmiller, Against Our Will: Men, Women and Rape
Men donāt actually like it when women enjoy sex as much as they do or even more, because to them sex is an act done upon women not a shared experience. When they say they want a woman who matches their sexual drive what they mean is that they want a woman who agrees to participate in sex as often as they, men, desire, not when she actively chooses so herself. They immediately lose interest or get confused when a woman is an eager initiator, because men are not used to seeing us as people with desires and feelings and not sexual objects.
I love when you say something about men and they rush to tell you to pick better.
Like, I do pick better. I have never personally been assaulted, abused, or in a relationship where any mistreatment or disrespect ever took place.
But I write about such things because I care very deeply about the women who DO go through these things.
The fact that men's lives are so self-contained and myopic that all THEY have to worry about is the singular, individual girlfriend they choose is so telling. The fact that they think we're complaining about a "few bad boyfriends" is so telling. The fact that they assume we're talking about romantic relationships at all when we're in fact talking about widespread rape and discrimination from total strangers is so telling.
Imagine what a privilege it is that all you have to worry about is what girl you're dating, to the point where you assume any feminist speaking about men is speaking about HER boyfriend or ex.
So annoying to me when people think citing the actions of FICTIONAL female characters counts as evidence that femininity doesn't hold women back. "Omg, she can run and fight with heels and a dress! What an icon, I can't even walk in heels." She is not real, and therefore her body doesn't follow the same laws that ours do. She will do whatever the writers want her to, because she is ANIMATED. And even if the actor is a real person, the scene is choreographed, rehearsed and edited with CGI. It's fake!
ppl are really not ready to be uncomfortable. when i first wanted to get into radical feminism, i was so hellbent on still shaving because ā well body hair looks weird on everyone! men should shave too!ā then when i saw women saying bitch and cunt were misogynistic slurs, i was so opposed to that because bitch was a part of my daily vocabulary. but at some point, you have to stop being up your own ass and listen to others because sometimes you realizeā¦ you are just dead wrong š and you actually do need to work on yourself. the more i started reading, the more i started seeing and the more i had to evaluate what the fuck I was saying and doing. when i get mad at a woman, why do i call her a bitch? why do i shave even though i donāt really like it? you have to get comfortable with discomfort š¤·āāļø
religious modesty culture will never be compatible with feminism because it holds the belief that womenās bodies are inherently sexual and provoking men. āiām covering for godā why are you covering for a male god who allegedly made your body? youāre asked to cover your arms and legs and hair, but men are simply asked to lower their gaze and maybe keep themselves well groomed. thatās not equal in the slightest.
thereās an uncomfortable truth in feminist spaces that many women, myself included at times, are afraid to admit: none of the abrahamic religions are compatible with feminism. personally, i have religious friends and thereās that constant desire to not offend them lingering in my mind when i repost certain things but at the same time, if i truly want to be a part in aiding female liberation, i canāt be a coward about this. iāve been trying to read the bible to get a clearer stance of how bad it is but truly the story of adam and eve is enough for me š¤·āāļø
You don't have to answer this ask of course but I was wondering if you can help me out.
If I don't like the idea of dating, fucking and marrying men but find some men's looks attractive and get shy around them, would I be concidered bisexual or lesbian?
I have never known if I had actual crushes on people (of both sexes) or if I just like the idea of having a crush like my peers and romance media I watched growing up.
hello dear anon! ultimately, sexuality is something that you won't figure out overnight, and it isn't a decision i can make, but i can offer up some questions for you to consider on your self-exploration journey (because it IS a journey). i encourage you to ask many of your own, as well.
growing up, did you ever face pressure to date boys? have you ever given reasons for not dating boys, without understanding why? was dating a girl ever an option for you?
were you exposed to homophobia over a long-term period? is/was your family homophobic? were you encouraged to be homophobic?
is it shyness you've been feeling, or anxiety? what does your body experience when you get shy around men?
when you see an attractive man, do you feel any sexual arousal? do these attractive men align with the beauty standard? is it shallow acknowledgement of their attractiveness, or do your thoughts explore this attraction beyond aesthetics?
is your aversion to relationships and sex with men more of a mental block or physical? have you suffered from trauma or misogyny at the hands of men? do you have a male "type"? is that type far more appealing when you envision him as a woman?
when you think of a lesbian, what do you envision? what would being a lesbian mean for you going forward? how does that possible future make you feel?
when you think of a bisexual woman, what do you envision? what would being bisexual mean for you going forward? how does that possible future make you feel?
does the thought of a lesbian align with lesbophobic stereotypes? what about a bisexual woman? do you view lesbianism as a more "pure" sexuality? do you view bisexuality as a more "moral" sexuality? does lesbianism make you uncomfortable? what about bisexuality?
what goal do you want to accomplish by choosing either label?
all of these questions are open-ended and do not have a "wrong" answer. if you feel persuaded to answer a certain way, ask yourself why. analyze every response you give, every feeling, every knee-jerk reaction.
the reason why i stress all this critical introspection is to encourage you to actually learn about yourself, and in order to do that, you must work through a mountain of shit that is: female socialization, subconscious bias, conditioned beliefs, and internalized bigotry. which is why my recommended questions appear almost accusatoryāintrospection is not supposed to be comfortable.
if it takes a while for you to answer these questions, that's okay. sit with yourself and be patient. sexuality is not something you should rush to figure out, and i encourage youābefore anything elseāto unlearn the harmful idea that you must label yourself. trust me, i know firsthand how frustrating it is to live in confusion, but self-discovery is so much more than choosing a definitive term.
i wish you the best of luck, and if you have any more questions, my inbox is always open <3
Summer needs to end right now, Iām tired of this shit. The same company was out here twice to fix my air conditioner and they havenāt done shit, on top of that the nasty man left my toilet seat up.
