scrawled in the margin in jagged, shaky letters

This seemed like a good idea at the time. Zo(?:ey?|(?:ë))?|Maddy (she/her)s Sometimes a girl can be 1.5*Girl. As a treat.

[verdemasse]

I have two days until I start work for the first time in nearly two years

I have eight chapters of Markov Chain to write before it's done

So today do I write four chapters of Markov Chain or do I do

fantasy software engineering

[thwarp]

As promised, Something Dreadfully Homosexual I'm sorry Annabelle, being a grunch is not allowed.

This is so sweet, I think I gave myself diabetes just drawing it. They're such cute absolute losers, I love them Ctrl+C Comic, for context

[thwarp]

I love Annabelle’s little “how dare you”. She knows what’s coming. And she knows it works on her

[verdemasse]

god my heart is beating so hard and fast. I feel wrong

[lady-of-vitreous-sight]

i still need to prove whether or not the rummylike my czech family plays is np-complete. im like 90% sure it is but i wont say it outright until i have a formal proof.

[lady-of-vitreous-sight]

autobus rules:

played with two standard 52 card decks shuffled together, 3-7 players play in turns, 11 card starting hands, win by reducing the number of cards in your hand to zero. at the start of your turn, if you cannot play any cards, you must draw from the deck until you can play at least one card. after you've played at least one card, you may end your turn at any time. in standard rummy rules, cards are played in 'melds' of size at least three. either 'sets' of the same rank and different suits (they must be different, no repeating suits), or 'straights' of the same suit and sequential rank (wrapping past ace (eg 2♠-A♠-K♠) allowed). melds are placed upon the table when 'played'. however, players may also add to and modify existing melds. taking from them, splitting them up, taking them apart, and putting them back together. even picking up leftover loose cards back to your hand, as long as you put down more cards in doing so. no thinking with the board, you have to plan out your turn in your head.

is "can you win on this turn of autobus?" np-complete, with arbitrary number of suits and ranks? to make this easier, we say that 'sets' in number of suits greater than 4 must still be ordered (they are arbitrarily ordered in N=4)

[verdemasse]

Assuming you're allowed to have intermediate steps where not every card is in a valid meld, and that I understand your rules statement correctly:

Yes. In fact, you don't even need an arbitrary number of suits and ranks.

WLOG, assume each player starts their turn with the ability to make one legal play. (e.g., "draw for turn" happens at the end of the preceding turn). To win, you need to have no cards in hand, and you can freely modify the board state.

Let U be the set of all physical cards on the board and in your hand. You can then construct S_i, every valid meld that can be made with cards from U. Your goal is to choose elements of S_i such that every card in U appears in exactly one chosen subset.

This is an exact cover problem.

[verdemasse]

detransitioners aren't real

if you started transition, and you want to continue to transition, and you're prevented from doing so, that's violence

if you started transition, and you don't want to continue, and you don't, that's either you being happy with your results as they are or a consequence of the free will that came included with being a person

[verdemasse]

for completeness:

if you started transition, and you don't want to continue, but you do, that's weird, you can just stop, no one's forcing you (unless someone's forcing you, in which case, it's violence again, and also, where are you??)

if you started transition, and you want to continue, and you do, hell yeah

if you didn't start transition, and you want to transition, and you're prevented from doing so, that's also violence

if you didn't start transition, and you don't want to start, and you don't, congrats on being cis

if you didn't start transition, and you don't want to, but you do, we're living in some weird forcefem story, and where are you, i want the free hrt

if you didn't start transition, and you want to start, and you do, HELL YEAH

[verdemasse]

detransitioners aren't real

if you started transition, and you want to continue to transition, and you're prevented from doing so, that's violence

if you started transition, and you don't want to continue, and you don't, that's either you being happy with your results as they are or a consequence of the free will that came included with being a person

[demilypyro]

[verdemasse]

today's been really bad for some reason

idk, i feel selfish? for having work?

and im about to have money issues immediately after starting work, so i need to figure out how to get like $200 to not default on my card

and i also then need to start shoveling money in there to deal with the debt so i can afford to move back

maybe i should just take a bite out of retirement.

my mental health shouldn't be bad, everythings working out!! except vivs and morgen lost their jobs.

and im still kinda convinced they're mad at me, even though i'm trying to sit with the uncertainty and not catastrophize

idk, today's been weird.

[kaban-bang]

[barsikscorner]

I had a vision

[verdemasse]

sketching a chapter for a fic, writing down the character's emotional truth I need to explore, then realizing it's something I literally said in therapy two weeks ago

[verdemasse]

this week has really turned around

first amazing digital yuri

then a job offer

[sweet-marie]

guys, if i do kill myself and never published any books or anything please copy all my best tumblr posts and arrange them into a deeply moving stream of consciousness narrative and submit it to the new yorker on my behalf. i feel like i can count on you. don't let my life and posting have been in vain

[verdemasse]

anyway abstraction is a metaphor for the refusal to find meaning in the face of the Absurd and anyone who doesn't think so should go read the myth of sisyphus

[verdemasse]

I miss people

I miss curling up next to someone at night

I miss feeling warmth next to me

I miss feeling loved

[verdemasse]

im slowly losing my mind here

is it even worth it to return to seattle

my entire life will have changed. things would never be the same.

i hate it here

[razzmothazz]

still caring about internet friends you lost touch with years ago is so embarrassing. yeah i had a deam we met up irl recently. the last time we spoke was maybe 7-8 years ago. i still wear the laces we randomly decided was a sign of our friendship. i dont know what any of your socials are or if youre even active on any. sometimes i see someones art resemble yours and i wonder for hours. do you still go by that name you chose? whenever i see it i wonder if its you. we couldve passed each other in this vastness a thousand times and not have a clue.

[razzmothazz]

we were lonely kids having fun together. do you remember?