Just a place for those moments in the dark no one needs to know || 30's || Whatever pronouns you want, I wish to be anonymous entirely || Call me Vaas if you must || Vessel_and_Moon on Ao3
This is meant to be an anonymous page, separate from other fandoms I'm in as well as my personal identity. But I have no intention on making this confusing.
You may call me Vaas. Pronouns are whatever you like to call me, I am willing to use any. I am in my 30's and taken.
Please feel free to reach out to me through whatever means you feel most comfortable. I don't care if you are bored and want to randomly drop silly ideas or want to talk about art or writing or whatever. Be warned, however, I might lurk quietly but I talk a lot so... Don't say you were unaware.
That being said, I am reluctant to interact with minors. If you are a minor, or you do not have your age in your bio, I will not follow you in return. While I don't intend this blog to have too much in the way of adult content, I will block anyone who does not meet age requirements if they are acting in a way that makes me uncomfortable. It's nothing personal, it's for both of our safety. Feel free to communicate publicly, but if you DM me and you do not have an age in your bio, I will not reply.
This post could change over time, but as is, most of the content here will be Sleep Token, including lore interpretations and a fanfiction I never intended to write. That being said, I may never finish it. I'm currently writing novels so we'll see where my focus lies.
Tags as of right now are
#Vaas Lore - Any lore interpretations, fictionalized or otherwise. I understand this might get confusing, I might create a secondary tag.
#Still Small Voice Fic - Fanfiction version of lore. It goes by this name on Ao3 as well
#Still Small Voice Fic AU - Anything dealing with my oc Whisper and GhostlyGothicGays oc Lustre
#Vaas Remembers Nothing - Likely things dealing with art and writing. Basically it helps with my horrid memory
Sleep Token fanfiction exploring lore and a few things between. I will TW scenes/chapters as needed, if I miss something please DM me.
Please be aware that this story is 18+
Previous Chapter - XXVIII - Troubling Silence
Word count: 1511
------------------------------------------------
“It’s been three days. We have to do something,” Will said. He stared out the open front door toward the street as the sun began to set.
Sleep was gone. Whisper was gone. Vessel wondered if he’d dreamt it all but Will’s concern tethered him to the truth. There was a sense of reluctance to tell Will that Sleep may have been involved in Whisper’s disappearance. He bounced his knee and watched Will with quiet detachment, staring through his friend into nothing, running through scenarios and what was safe to tell him.
If he came clean and stated that Sleep may be involved, he would have to explain that Sleep wanted Whisper dead and what she… what they had done before in an attempt to rid Vessel of her. When Vessel closed his eyes he could still see her lifeless corpse eviscerated on the bathroom floor.
He shuddered and stood, making his way to Will. Navigating the situation would need to be delicately handled.
“What do you suggest?” Vessel asked. “You said it yourself, the police wouldn’t believe us. What else can we do? We’ve driven the streets time and time again. Sat here for hours waiting.”
Will set his jaw. “I don’t know.”
Vessel guided Will away from the door and closed it, taking one last look down the street for any sign of Whisper. Will’s eyes bore into Vessel. It was as if he could see that Vessel was hiding something. He had to come clean, to some extent.
“Whisper is a part of me,” Vessel began, back to the door. “I can feel… she’s gone. I don’t know how, I don’t know where. There’s a feeling of absence.”
“Is she dead?”
Vessel finally met Will’s gaze. He shook his head. “I don’t know. I’ve never felt like this before.”
“Did Sleep do this?”
Vessel tensed. His first instinct was to say no. To defend Sleep with everything he was worth and yet, he knew Will would not be as receptive to the excuses. He had always been wary of Sleep and he did not worship her as Vessel did. It was something Vessel had been relieved about. If others outside his reach worshipped her then so be it, but if it was someone close to him jealousy might eat him alive.
“Vessel, did Sleep do this?” Will demanded.
“I don’t know. Sleep… says that Whisper is like a demon. That her purpose is to take me away from Sleep.”
“So she could have killed Whisper?”
Admitting the possibility would cast a dark shadow on Will’s opinion of Sleep and Vessel couldn’t have that. He shook his head.
“Sleep wants to cut Whisper off from me but killing her isn’t an option.” Vessel’s heart pounded against his ribs uncomfortably. It wasn’t entirely a lie. Sleep had attempted to kill Whisper before and it hadn’t been successful and so the last he was told, Sleep knew killing Whisper wasn’t a possibility. At least not as it had been done before.
Will rubbed his face. He was exhausted and it showed in shadows under his eyes.
“Go home and rest,” Vessel said. “I’ll try to call on Sleep for answers.”
The wary look Will shot Vessel spoke of mistrust, but he said nothing. Instead, he grabbed his coat and took his leave, slamming the door behind him.
There was too much Will didn’t know. Too much he didn’t understand. These things had been apparent to Vessel since the beginning and while there were moments he bragged about his relationship with Sleep to Will, he was careful to curate a specific image of her in Will’s mind. However, he still questioned Sleep and Vessel knew his friend likely understood that he was (at least in part) being lied to. Will could see Vessel’s pain. He’d never openly blamed Sleep for it, but looking back, Vessel knew it was likely the case, even if he considered Will wrong.
Sleep was not their enemy. She was not evil. She didn’t wish harm on Vessel. Even if she did remove Whisper, it would be for Vessel’s own good. But how could he explain that to Will?
Pain flared behind his eyes and in an instant, he was in the dream world. He blinked rapidly, nausea ripping through him at the sudden shift. The world spun and he nearly hit his knees.
This place was different. A room made of cement and rust. The air was stagnant and heavy with the scent of rot. A single light hung overhead but it was dying.
“Where—” The question didn’t have time to leave him before Sleep moved from the shadows, gliding, feet inches from the floor. He could hear banging and clawing from outside of the room; as if monsters climbed all over it. He shuddered but Sleep didn’t seem concerned.
“You are in a secured section of my labyrinth,” she explained.
Vessel’s eyes adjusted to the low light, and he could see Whisper on her knees beside Sleep. They were in stark contrast to one another; Sleep in a pastel pink robe that floated above the filthy floor while Whisper’s nude form sat hunched and frail, eyes downcast.
Sleep’s pale hand caressed Whisper’s hair like she was an obedient dog. Claws outside raked rusted metal and a jolt shot through Vessel’s spine.
“Whisper toyed with the line of our deal. She had to learn her lesson,” Sleep said, pink eyes narrowing as a wicked smirk curved her lips. “She will behave from now on, won’t you?”
“Yes,” Whisper replied, her voice barely a sigh.
“What a good little devil,” Sleep sneered. Thin fingers twisted into Whisper’s dark hair and yanked, eliciting a pained gasp. “If you break our deal or test my limits once more, you will not leave this room.”
Whisper met Sleep’s gaze with a mix of fear and defiance. Sleep pushed Whisper away and she vanished, leaving Sleep and Vessel alone in the tiny cell. Vessel said nothing, feeling he might choke on his words. Sleep had kept Whisper contained for days here? What had happened between them?
Sleep caressed his cheek and warmth spread from her touch into his skin as rust and cement vanished. Once again they were at the edge of sea and land, waves crashing on the sand. She stretched with a contented sigh, body long and lean in the moonlight.
After some time standing on the beach in silence she glanced up at him, pink eyes innocent and wide.
“You are quiet tonight my vessel. Are you displeased with me?”
Tears threatened to spill down her cheeks and it was as if a fist tightened around his heart.
“No my love,” he said, wiping a tear with his thumb. “I just wish you told me you were going to take her. I thought I had woken up from a dream. That she was never real and that meant you were gone too.”
“You missed her?” Sleep’s tone held a hint of betrayal but Vessel was quick to soothe her, pulling her to his chest and planting a kiss atop her head.
“That’s not what I meant. When you’re gone for a long time, I begin to think I hallucinated you. Dreamt you up. But when I see Whisper I know you’re real. That you exist and I’m not going crazy. I didn’t miss her. I only feared her absence also meant you were gone too.”
She inhaled deeply, arms around his waist. “I smell him.”
“Him?”
“II. Did he question Whisper’s disappearance?”
“Yes, but I explained that she’s a demon to me. I told him what you told me about her. A little, anyway. He left for the night right before you brought me here.”
“What will you tell him upon her return?”
Sleep’s arms tightened around Vessel every so slightly, making him hesitate to respond.
“I’ll simply tell him that she had gone away for a few days. That she needed rest.”
“And what will Whisper say?”
Vessel’s heart pounded at the warning bite in her words. It was as if any moment she would turn into the large masculine form that dominated him and take what was owed. He swallowed.
“She’ll say what I tell her to say or… or I’ll turn her over to you for good.”
Suddenly he realized the depth of the game Sleep wanted to play. This wasn’t just about controlling Whisper, this was about using him to control her as well.
“What are the terms of your deal with her?” Vessel asked. “So I can know if she breaks them.”
“I will know when she does.” Sleep’s lips graced the side of his neck and a chill ran through him.
His thoughts slipped away from Whisper, satisfied enough that she was not dead and there would be no covering up for horrible things Sleep had done. Whisper appeared physically intact. Whatever happened couldn’t have been that bad. And so Vessel allowed himself to slip into a state of relief. To succumb once more to Sleep’s desire; Whisper’s disappearance forgiven and forgotten.
Sleep Token fanfiction exploring lore and a few things between. I will TW scenes/chapters as needed, if I miss something please DM me.
Please be aware that this story is 18+
Previous Chapter - XXVII - Overreacting
Word count: 875
------------------------------------------------
The morning brought a sore body and a silence in the flat that felt… deafening. Vessel ached as if he’d been hit by a truck and his bed was a tangled mess of sheets and his own fluids. Even now the remnants of his last scene with Sleep had him coated with spend.
He shook and rubbed his face as he tried to process what had happened but there was no certainty. The dream felt like it lasted days, dragging on far longer than it should have. Only the throbbing from the burn on his palm was proof it had only been overnight.
Fearing Whisper might have heard him and question the sounds he made in his sleep, he stripped the bed and took it all with him into the bathroom. He dropped everything to the floor and locked the door before getting in the shower.
Hot water eased some of the aching muscles but there was something else he couldn’t shake. The strange sensation of being alone. Of course when he was away from Sleep he felt a similar sensation… or at least he had thought it was similar. But this was different. It was as if he was missing a part of himself, not just the absence of people around him. There was no pain, only an awareness of silence.
After the shower he took the bedding to the washing machine, noting how he hadn’t seen Whisper yet. Odd. Kitchen, living room, music room, all empty. He walked into his bedroom but she wasn’t there either.
“Whisper? Is this some kind of game? I’m not in the mood.”
When there was no reply he looked outside. The back garden was dappled with morning light through the neighbor’s trees but still, no Whisper.
The front door was dead bolted from the inside and she didn’t have a key. The clothes and mask she’d been wearing lay on the couch in a way that made it appear that she had vanished right out of them.
A knock at the door made Vessel jump.
Will unlocked the door and barged in, one arm heavy with food and drinks. The smell of Italian food followed Will as he breezed past Vessel without a word. By the time Vessel stopped staring at the clothes and joined Will, the table was set for three.
“I didn’t know what she eats so I got a little of everything,” Will said, helping himself to bread.
“She’s not here.”
Will paused his chewing and straightened. “What do you mean?”
“I just woke up a little while ago and she was gone. All that’s left are the clothes she was wearing and—”
“She’s not runnin’ around naked again is she?”
“No, I just said she’s gone. I don’t know where she went.”
“Hell.” Will dropped the bread and wiped his hands on his jeans before heading into the living room where Vessel pointed at the couch. Will hesitated. “That’s spooky.”
“But she was real… you saw her.”
“You’re still on that? We already talked about it, I know she’s real. I don’t know what the hell she is, but we both saw her. Talked to her. Hell, your flat is cleaner than the last time I was here and I doubt that was your doing so someone had to.”
“She’s never left before.”
“What can we even do? Can’t just call up the police and report a missing shadow. We’d end up a laughing stock for sure. Maybe she changed clothes and went for a walk.”
Will’s tone told Vessel he didn’t believe his own suggestion.
“I know she wouldn’t leave like that. She would have told me.”
“But you said she’s showing emotions now. Maybe she got bored.”
It was a possibility but where would she go? “She’s only left the garden once, I don’t think she would know of any place to go.”
Will raised a hand, a deep frown curving his lips as what Vessel had confessed finally sank in. “What do you mean she’s only left the garden once? You mean she’s lived here this long and the only thing she knows is your flat?”
Vessel felt a pang of guilt. He’d hardly thought about it. Of course, on occasion he wondered what she did to occupy herself other than watching television and cleaning up the flat but when he was gone he hardly spared her a thought. However, being confronted with it made him realize how unfair it had been for her.
Just as he questioned himself as Sleep possessed him to kill Whisper, he found himself questioning again. Did Whisper deserve how he treated her? Vessel ran his hand through his damp hair.
“Maybe we should drive around and look for her,” Vessel said, hoping the offer would make him seem less of an ass to his friend.
Fear crept up the back of Vessel’s neck as Will passed him, muttering under his breath. Sleep said there was another method they might explore to expel Whisper for good. A pit formed in his belly but he followed Will anyway, keeping his suspicions to himself. With any luck, he was wrong and Whisper has simply gotten bored. He had to hope because the alternative made him ill.
i had to opportunity to make an art piece for @vesselandmoon for the sleep token gift exchange hosted by @elkkiel ! i hope you enjoy it and that your holiday is wonderful!!
We never know what happens when he is with Sleep, only how he is returned to us. Injured. Exhausted. Stumbling. We are always prepared, offering comfort where we can. Even IV attempts to hold his tongue. At the end of the day, Vessel claims he knows what he's doing. Besides, what could any of us do against a deity?
III thinks Sleep wants to scare us away. But we will not be defeated. Vessel is one of us. Part of us. We aren't going anywhere.
