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@victoriabutterfree-blog
You know, I realized today that the model of gender where trans people Really Are the gender we want to be deep down no matter what our bodies, experiences, or personalities is really just transsubstantiation as applied to gender.
Even if I was granted perfect shapeshifting powers tomorrow, I don't think I'd feel like I was really a girl. Like, everything I read about trans people talks about how they've always felt like girls or they're letting out their "true selves"" and like. I feel like I missed out on a bunch of critical periods of identity formation and rites of passage and, like, formative experiences that everyone else had and I didn't. And there's no way for me to ever get those back, even if I have a perfect physical transition somehow.
I wish I could have had a female adolescence. It's not that my male one was bad, but I feel like I'll always be missing something that other girls had. There's no way for me to ever have the internal psychological experience of growing up as a preteen->teenage->college age girl. I kinda fee like this is affecting my ability and willingness to make progress in my life, too. I don't wanna just move on to a(n exclusively) male adulthood, or even a female adulthood, without having those missing experiences. Idk.
Like I'd love to be like "2017 is the year it all turns around and I finally manage to go more than a week without wanting to kill myself!" but we all know that's not true.
I'm so fucking sick of seeing how all the other trans people both A) have an actual transition plan towards a single, at least somewhat attainable body and B) feel like the Actually Are their gender.
Look ma! I made a tag yourself/alignment chart meme! sapphic girl stereotypes edition, inspired by that old thing..
Any resemblance to preexisting characters, real or imaginary, is purely coincidental. (I’m neutral butch tho)
true neutral with a side of chaotic butch
Chaotic femme 100%
I’m definitely a neutral femme, but I also sell illicit memes behind the trashpile that is my blog, soooo
Also, lawful femmes and butches can Dominate me any time *_* *_* *_*
Wow, the "neutral" row in the butch-femme attribute describes my ideal gender expression really well.
Not sure where I am on lawful/chaotic, though.
(Probably even more offensive/triggering than the other anon, feel 100% free not to answer): would not creating depressed people entail not creating trans people as well? Passable transition is not a realistic possibility for me and I wish I had been born cis or not at all, but so many people keep going "trans is beautiful uwu" and it bothers me so much bc they are either cis or well-passing. I wish people would admit that being trans by definition involves more suffering and less happiness.
I’m probably a weirdo because I legit don’t know what the balance between the pain I feel from being misgendered vs the joy of being well-gendered is? Like, I wouldn’t be surprised if they cancelled out for me, but IDK because it’s hard to keep track.
But, yeah, there would probably be a lower percentage of trans people born if we found a way to screen for “will this person regret being alive”. But, like, so what? I care way more about people being happy than them sharing my demographics. All the trans people who want to exist should exist, but I think creating people really requires a good-faith expectation that they’ll be glad you did it, which isn’t true of all trans people.
(This trash app won’t let me tag but fertility cw, selective abortion cw, and probably a ton of other CWs.)
"I’m probably a weirdo because I legit don’t know what the balance between the pain I feel from being misgendered vs the joy of being well-gendered is? Like, I wouldn’t be surprised if they cancelled out for me, but IDK because it’s hard to keep track."
Wait, wouldn't (strongly) cis people feel gender euphoria too?
So for a while I've been getting inconsistent readings on my digit ratio, and I just realized that it's because my left and right ring fingers are different lengths, by about a quarter inch. None of my other fingers is longer on my left hand than my right. Is this unusual? Are your guys' ring fingers different lengths?
Honestly, despite all its faults, 4chan feels like it was a way better relationship with transgender than mainstream social justice. No one can truly dominate the conversation and silence dissent, so people with honest questions and doubts can ask them safely. People are allowed and sometimes even encouraged to play around with gender stuff without committing to being trans. Most importantly, we aren't treated with kid gloves. There's no "everyone's a winner" mentality. If everyone's a winner, and we are all equally masculine and feminine if we just say hat we are, then how can there be any hope of improvement or achievement? Remember that post going around a while ago about how unconditional positivity turned it to just teach kids to be suspicious of the sincerity of any and all praise? That's basically the problem with large swaths of social justice. They'll never be honest with you about whether or not you'll pass. 4chan will. More importantly, they take a "growth mindset" in the sense that growth mindset is actually meant to be understood. They don't tell you that anyone can make it, they just tell you that you can make progress if you want to, even if that progress isn't huge and you never end up "making it." They also seem to have arrived at the correct synthesis view between Blanchard's autogynephilia typology and... whatever you want to call its opposite. They recognize the sexual elements of dysphoria and the ways they interact with orientation, presentation, and age of discovery without slipping into false dichotomies. They talk a lot about whether or not a person is "true trans" and exchange insults and slurs over it, but at the end of the day the anonymous masses will advise you to just transition if you want to and tell the normies to go shove it. Or maybe it's a case of managed expectations. Idk. ( @sinesalvatorem @jenlog probably relevant to your interests)
I think I’ve finally figured out the “why are there so many transwomen in the rationalist community”? question.
This site claims:
There is the curious statistic that while transkids have as a group, average IQ=100, non-homosexual transsexuals exhibit, as a group, significantly higher IQ (127.9 in one clinical study), very unlikely to have happened by chance.
As far as I know most of the transwomen in our community are lesbians, and I think their “non-homosexual” thing is relative to assigned gender at birth, so I think we’re talking about the same demographic.
Average IQ in the rationalist community is 140 as per the survey. If we use our handy Normal Distribution Calculator, we find that about 21% of transwomen should have IQ 140 or above, compared to about 0.5% of cis people. So about 40x more transwomen should reach that IQ cutoff than cis people.
People keep saying the US is something like 0.3% trans. Depending on how low an estimate that is and how many of those people are the non-homosexual transsexuals the study is talking about, we can estimate that maybe like 5-10% of the community should be transgender, which is more or less what the survey found.
Also, whoa. If this is true, being transgender is the highest IQ boost of anything I know including the really awful things like torsion dystonia. The site theorizes that this is because only very high-IQ people have the financial/social resources to deal with transitioning, but that doesn’t make sense - only 3% of people have that IQ naturally, so that would have to mean that for every open transwoman there are 30 or so who want to transition but are still in the closet even if IQ mapped perfectly to level of resources which of course it doesn’t. Sorry, don’t believe it, your convenient social/environmental explanation is false.
GODDAMMIT I JUST DID A FERMI ESTIMATE THAT SAID I WAS THE SMARTEST BIGENDER PERSON IN THE WORLD. NOW THAT'S ALL RUINED. FUCK.
gymnosferatu replied to your post: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...”:
You okay? :(
Relatively. Just angry about the existence of aging and the nonexistence of shapeshifting :(
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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After some ruminating, I think my ideal gender aesthetic is “feminine enough to countersignal feminity.” Like, when girls just throw their hair up in a messy bun with no makeup to get breakfast but are still obviously attractive women, or girls who just wear whatever to the gym, act masculine-ish, but don’t get questioned on their gender. There’s nothing feminine at all about wearing scavenger gear or loose fitting desert clothing or Jedi robes, yet Daisey Ridley is still unquestionably a sexy, athletic woman when wearing any of those.
Most trans girls (or bigender/genderfluid/whatever) seem to go for strongly signalling gender, which is something that doesn’t appeal to me a whole lot afaict. If I put in that kind of effort, not only will it not be my aesthetic, it calls attention to the fact that I’m unwomanly enough to have to put effort into convincing people that I’m a woman.
The other aesthetic I’d go for is “short skirts and low cut tops” but obviously that runs into the exact same problem.
“Upset that I can’t countersignal” is kind of a distinct emotion for me. I experience it when I take teasing too far with someone I don’t know well enough, or when I try to pull of the “kid who always shows up late but aces every test” but end up getting a C. And I experience it when thinking about this sort of stuff.
Do you have long hair?
Not currently no, and it might be a while before I’d be able to.
i dont really understand the point of like sexy girl video game characters like are dudes jerking off while they play? whats the point why do you need to be turned on right now
autogynephilia
I don't know to what degree @rendakuenthusiast was joking here but that is in fact part of the appeal for me. Especially since I have a somewhat socially acceptable reason for doing it.
I want to die
i don’t think straight people will ever truly understand why many of us gay people LOVE being gay and why we would not change ourselves for the world. even the most progressive straight people, deep down, they pity us. they think we’d probably rather be straight if we could. “progressive” people always make the argument that “being gay isn’t a choice, because who would ever choose to be gay??” guess what: i didn’t choose to be gay, but i would. they’ll never understand that once we’re able to accept ourselves and find a safe community, being gay feels amazing. i love being a woman who loves women. and it’s only because of them that i’ve ever had to even think about questioning that.
*blinks* You mean the argument I dislike is disproportionately spread by straight people? That… does make as much sense as it being our own favored argument.
Queer people generally believe it’s okay to be queer and everyone else should be okay with it because… people just want equal treatment. We support it with verbal arguments, but it’s not our true reason, for all that some of us seem to believe it. But the straight people don’t accept it automatically and if they do they need an argument to convince people who don’t. This is complicated by people who think they’re straight being allies who know no one chooses to be gay, turning out to not be straight.
Also naturalistic fallacy or one of its relatives, sigh.
it gets even weirder when this moves down to trans people. being trans does not feel amazing. i hate it. but i would still choose being a trans woman over being a cis man.
perhaps this is connected to my wireheading aversion. i still don’t understand it. trans friends, please let me know whether you would take a pill that relieves all gender dysphoria from your asab permanently, or continue as you are.
I would definitely not take a pill making me a cis man.
No. No no nope not ever never. At least being trans would have to become way more uncomfortable for me to even consider taking the magical cis pill that would wipe away all of that. Cis man/cis woman I don’t care. Still way waaay nope all the way. The only thing I could imagine accepting is adding so many qualifiers on top of “cis woman” that I basically end up with “this exact kind of transfeminine enbie, except afab” which is totally cheating by any spirit of the rules.
My morph is modded and customized, I don’t want to switch it for a stock OEM model.
If you make me a different gender you make me a different person. I would very much prefer not to be killed and replaced with another person, even if they are happier.
I mean I get why people would want to be gay but why on earth would you want to be trans. It’s the worst. Instead of being unhappy that you can’t be X gender, you could not be unhappy. Not being unhappy is good. Like, maybe you can make the case that it’s better for you to be a cis woman than a cis man but I don’t get what could possibly be better about being a trans woman in particular. Queer cred can’t be worth THAT much.
@ozymandias271 @socialjusticemunchkin @sigmaleph if there was a pill that could turn someone into a cis enbie,, would you take it?
the fact that people always come to trans women as if they are the Keepers of the Discourse betrays not only a comfort with the bad (in numerous ways) anthropological rendering of trans women as quasi-shamanic/mystic figures, but also shows this underlying belief in trans womanhood as Especially Political by nature and more theory than human
I really want to understand what this is saying but I can’t
So let’s break this down
First of all: a lot of people treat trans women like we’re fucking Moses carrying the stone tablets down from Mt Sinai that the Commandments of Radical Theory And Praxis have been inscribed on. There’s this idea of remoteness and deep sacred truth and being the bearers of special knowledge that can enlighten the rest of us (ie, they’re putting us on a pedestal, which is dehumanizing even though it pretends to be reverent).
Second: There’s an old-ass idea in the humanities and anthropology especially that transfeminine people are mystical/kinda shamanic figures. There’s this idea that we are somehow magically transgressive and sacred in a profane way, and that we’re in touch with some deeper reality/higher truth (even if people also find us disgusting or freakish).
Third: The first thing reveals that cis people are pretty much okay with the second thing.
Fourth: The first thing also reveals that people tend to think of trans women as objects of political and theoretical interest, more than as actual fucking people.
I can't imagine where people would have gotten the first thing from. Certainly not from the people shrieking at them every time they disagree with a member of an oppressed group.
