he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@victoriathought
Giving up your ghosts
Giving up your ghosts
Sitting on the floor of a dark closet, filled to the brim with clothes on hangers and boxes of memories piled on top of each other, I am overflowing. With a flashlight clenched in my fist and my breathing heavy, the space starts closing in on me and I am helpless.
His hands and my panic. In one moment, they were a single entity. That one moment is frozen in my mind and I despise how this man can…
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Raised him wrong
Look at this man.
You must put his needs before your own. You must concern yourself with what he’s thinking and how he’s feeling and attend to his wishes before he gets hungry or becomes sad or mad or a million other reasons to throw a tantrum, oh, and he will.
And he will say you are selfish if he is left to fight his own battles, and he will be too proud to even tell you what he needs before he…
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We were the heavy breathing
We were the heavy breathing
You said two months and I’ve already begun missing It’s been two hours since the AC005…well I didn’t need reminding but I gave myself a taste in spite of better judgment Of you, of that Thirteen long months but I feel my stomach turning again like that August afternoon The same way I felt as my two left feet stumbled into that cafe to meet you You always had one hell of a timing (always…
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los ojos azules | my lovely spaniard the lamp was flickering an amber glow and there are bigger problems out in the big bad world, i know, but i was scraping the couch with my two bare hands.
you could complete me, i'd complete you
you could complete me, i’d complete you
I was looking in the mirror but I think I lost myself somewhere between here and never, trying to become anything you wanted hold onto and you were off getting lost out there, burning bridges and diving into waters you always swore were too deep for you. And every time, I thought I could bury these pieces but I have found that some loves just never go underground. You come back and I come around…
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death won't get me at all, but you do.
death won’t get me at all, but you do.
half hearted explanations in broken communications you speak in words i speak in emotions and you knew it all along but you pretend misinterpretations and i’m sitting, with a glass and my contemplations waiting for your call and when it comes (it always does) it’s never for too long you’re always gone
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i know it will never be you
i know it will never be you
how foreign were our discrepancies that I had no idea you left me standing in a strange place i’ve never been? You’ve got me wearing a mask I don’t recognize saying I’ve been wearing it this whole time. pinch me, i never imagined this was where I stood in your eyes. i am who you tell yourself i am but you are only as much as i allow you to mean to me.
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New post on #wordpress #victoriasaid
i know that there’s a 12:59 lullaby tonight 4am and i was awake and it wasn't from a nightmare or the strength of the summer heat.
once in a house on a hill it was an apartment with a view of the city lights and powerful angles and windows of the lives of the colourful neighbours.
Just always be waiting for me
Just always be waiting for me
Selfish words with a dash of sweet sentiment. Say those words and I’m yours. I saw you sitting sprawled out in the corner booth, drowning and gazing with empty eyes. Their bodies were the army and the goal. Skin bare, white, and cold, waiting to take you down or to be conquered themselves, whichever came first. And you, you lay there broken and raw. All I wanted to do was love you. Darling, don’t…
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you don't dream of flying, you only dream of falling
you don’t dream of flying, you only dream of falling
I was looking up at the evening sky tonight. Light blue fading into gold with pink streaks of cotton candy clouds strewn across, that’s what I saw tonight. And there were birds flying by, low enough I thought I might reach out from my balcony railing to feel them brushing past. There was no leader, there were no lines. They flew in chaotic abandon, just magic winged things heading towards…
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trip wires fill this house with tip toed love
His eyes are wide open, devouring your details How to strut like you, hold a gaze like you, tickle a laugh out of her like you Because when you smile, it’s like the sun is shining And when you look away…well. And it was not an accident The sun was glistening on the water and the anger was smeared across the paddles of the boat Brother, I wanted to feel loved but you give and you take it away And…
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Regret got shit on what you're feeling now
Regret got shit on what you’re feeling now
Tainted images, yeah that’s what I’ve been feeding off of And yeah you made me who i am but is that something for you to brag about? You put yourself on a high pedestal You made it You made it You miss me but you don’t admit it But you’re right, you made it so all they hear is what you’re saying You leave me muted but that’s how you always liked me Waiting and alone But you weren’t alone or at…
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i will fall, i will fall if you come around
There you go closing yourself to one side of the couch I came over for your sidelong glances and a touch But this deafening silence is just too much I will let myself out. And I wondered if you would follow me and ask me to stay I wished we could talk through our issues to better end the day But the elevator came around In the halls, there was no sound So i left No one has ever asked for so much…
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I'm no walk in the park...stay or leave.
Alone, I don’t know if I’m beautiful But with you I feel beautiful I’m determined not to let this pass I’m in this to last How about you? i always imagined the next one is always better but i’m learning i don’t need better it only gets better with you And how about you? You dismiss our problems it’s fine, but it’s not fine Did I catch your intricacies? The devil is in the details So I was…
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one memory of my grade 5 bathroom habits.
I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, brushing my teeth. Since switching to an electric toothbrush, I barely moved my arm doing so anymore. I used to be paranoid about my right forearm becoming noticeably more muscular than my left because of how energetically I brushed my teeth everyday; two or three times a day, depending on whether or not it was a weekday when I ate lunch at school…
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