published my first ever problematic dead dove fic recently..... the way I'm obsessed with the way its written. "who wrote this," I say, holding a trophy, "I will give them this trophy for making me go ⊙▽⊙"
in the process of publishing a lot of stuff I wrote in the past year on ao3. not feeling too great atm, but in the mood to finish all these wips so yeah. I'm alive
Hello! Do you by any chance take writing commissions or do collaborations?
I mean... I wouldn’t say NO to the first (DM me! Maybe we can work something out?). Not sure about collaborations, though. I’m a bit too overworked at the moment to commit.
Hi! Just wanna say I adore ur mdzs fics and especially how u write JC and WWX. You made me ship JC and LWJ! I hope u continue ur mononoke au, I think it’s the best thing this fandom has birthed (although I totally understand if u don’t plan on continuing it). Have a great day!
sorry for the late response, thank you so much! mononoke au was just for stress relief and was never intended to be continued, but I’m glad you enjoyed it :)
can’t make up my mind about ffviir. i wasn’t really feeling it in the beginning, but i warmed up to it eventually. it was fun. still dunno if i thought it was objectively good though.
“I don’t understand how people do NaNoWriMo,” I foolishly said a week earlier. “It’s impossible. How do people write that fast,” I questioned, and proceeded to write 30k in 6 days
Sometimes I will see other fic creators call a fic “self indulgent”, or “something no one else would want to read”. I literally say this all the time now, and now I’m like. Hmm. I didn’t used to say this before, and I don’t think my writing process has changed overly much.
Still, the feeling while I’m writing has changed? It went from “I like this idea and I will write it” to “I like this idea, and maybe other people won’t but that’s fine” to “I like this idea but WOW, I wouldn’t even want to read this”
Anyway, calling something “self-indulgent” may be a self-defense tactic for me to protect myself if a fic does not exceed expectations in terms of viewership. And maybe I finally understand those people who are like “the more fics I write, the more unconfident I get about my writing”
The point of this all is, I am so unsure of my AU concept that I’m probably going to need a beta eventually. This is very stupid because I have literally written the exact AU concept before with no problems. And as someone who despises editing and hearing concrit, I’m very confused by this.
Below is just me rambling about problems:
Biggest problem right now is that since I technically invented this trope, I got a lot of comments last fic about how it was confusing or difficult to understand as I jumped into story and dialogue and stuff. The lore is also more complicated in this fic, so by attempting to fix it, I added a shit ton of exposition in the beginning, which is frankly never a good idea. And now I can’t figure out whether it flows well or not. So chapter 1 is being a problem child.
Secondary issue is that characters are intentionally OOC, and it’s giving me whiplash. On one hand, I love it. On the other hand, I feel like other people are Not Going To Vibe With It, and now I’m confused as to whether I need to care about this or not, because LWJ and JC are the only reasons why I am writing this
and
are both passages that I’m just staring at like, yes, this is right. But also, this is wrong.
Final very minor issue is that this is yet another ot3 fic but I’ve betrayed myself. It’s not zhancheng and I am quaking. I want to zhancheng to happen. I want zhancheng to happen but I literally cannot make it happen without compromising my many attachments to vanilla fic tropes. Curse this! I like zhancheng better than wangxian or chengxian! Why! Am I! Even writing this!
i think i should have expected it, but the amount of people on the aro side of the spectrum who have come back to tell me that they connected to newest fic on a personal level really surprised me
like of course objectively I know that my experiences aren’t unique to myself. but while I know plenty of bi/gay/pan/ace/etc people, I’ve yet to meet anyone IRL thats confirmed to me that theyre aro. And aro representation in media exists, but it’s always a side character. I’ve yet to see an aro main character who actually stays aro through the course of canon (moreover, I’ve actually yet to see an aro character that isn’t also ace in media, but thats beside the point as isn’t really applicable to me). So it’s been a bit isolating on my side.
the whole point of writing wwx was to make sure that he figured his sexuality out by himself, because there’s no one around him that’s like him. he doesn’t really talk to other people about the subject either. I guess I got a bit caught up in that mindset of “having to figure these things out by myself” so when I started getting comments, the staggering amount of people that came to say “I understand this! I connect with this personally! I’m like this too!” it shooketh me in a good way
like I wrote this essentially as a writing exercise and an excuse to depict an aro character; that people actually found genuine validating content in it was very heartening and surprising
new fic is up and ao3 is down but i said it wasn’t going to be more than 15k and that i would definitely finish it within a week and im a man of my word
kaledo-art
areudirty
dededos
theartofmadeline
dailybridgerton