Why did you steal captain cuttlefish clothes
"I always let Judd sleep around my home—this cat possesses the most compelling arguments you have ever encountered as to why I ought to permit him shed his fur all over my place."
"This time round, over the course of my cleaning weekend, things took a turn rather... unfortunate, I'm afraid."
"And, inconveniently, that very day gramps took it into his head that it would be a perfectly splendid notion to hop aboard a train bound for the Splantlands, without vouchsafing so much as a hint as to where or why."
"I don't wear the poncho or the sweater on a regular basis — I wish to keep them in tip-top condition for as long as I possibly can. Alas, I had no other option."
"Plus, it doesn't quite go with my usual fashion style"
"He may have made his fair share of mistakes, but... I still love him dearly"
