Fottiti, Ezio!

{{ Questions go here }} Important Links: About Vieri Headcanon Posts "Compassions" of Vieri a.k.a. he's an actual asshole I am Vieri de Pazzi. You can ask me questions, as long as you're not a goddamned Auditore. (( Personal account: omgjersey )) (( Icon by me. )) Note: Mun is of age and I am very flexible about pairings and anyone can play any character with me. I'm extremely open, and willing to do any pairing or what have you. I track: vieridepazzi codardopazzi

[leneemusing]

PROMPTS FOR FRENEMIES,  ENEMIES TO LOVERS  AND  REFORMED VILLAINS

❝  so is that a ‘no’ to solving this with murder…?  ❞

❝  look i said i’d help you let’s not make a big thing out of it.  ❞

❝  i’m only helping you to make sure you don’t fuck it up.  ❞

❝  okay,  i’m just gonna nod and pretend to get this whole moral high ground speech you’re giving me so we can move on.  ❞

❝  i know you can be so much more than this.  ❞

❝  would you just stop treating me like something you’re trying to fix?  ❞

❝  don’t get any weird ass ideas,  i’m just here cause we want the same thing.  ❞

❝  why do you do that?  every time i think we’re getting somewhere you shut down and do something stupid to try push me away again. ❞

❝  see the thing about your plan is,  it’s not gonna fucking work.  let me do this my way.  ❞

❝  i’m only saying this once so don’t ever bring it up again,  but i actually like having you around.  you challenge me.  i like that.  ❞

❝  stop posturing and just let me help you.  ❞

❝  we do work well together,  but i don’t belong here any more than you belong where i do.   ❞

❝  okay,  i’m sick of you acting like i’ve somehow had it easier than you.  ‘cause i haven’t.  i just choose not to be a dick about my shit.  ❞

❝  you make me want to be better.  sometimes that feels good,  but a lot of the time…i feel like it’ll never be enough.  ❞

❝  i never asked you to change,  why can’t you just accept how i am too?  ❞

❝  i know you can be better—i’ve seen you be better than this!  ❞

❝  why does it matter so much to you what i choose to be?  ❞

❝  actually,  i think we rub off on each other quite well.  ❞

❝  okay if you smile at me like that one more time i’m going home you smug little shit.  ❞

❝  no— don’t start.  i’m here,  i’m making an effort.  ❞

❝  you’ve got quite the mean streak in you,  haven’t you?  i’m impressed.  ❞

❝  wow,  i didn’t think you knew how to be selfish.  ❞

❝  well,  i didn’t think you knew how to be selfless.  ❞

❝  i have a lot of regrets.  and if i’m honest,  i envy you.  you alway seem so sure of what is or isn’t right.  ❞

❝  if you would just let me speak for a moment you’d see we’re on the same side here.  ❞

❝  if you tell anyone about last night,  i’ll cut your tongue off.  ❞

❝  alright,  so we kissed.  don’t get so bent out of shape about it.  ❞

❝  are you ashamed?  about being with me?  ❞

❝  it’s not that i don’t want anyone to know about us,  i just don’t think they’d understand.  ❞

❝  i think you like being around me ‘cause you don’t quite have to be so uptight as you do with all your little friends.  ❞

❝  i can’t seem to stay away from you.  ❞

❝  alright,  okay—we’ll do this your way.  but i can’t promise there won’t be mild complaining.  ❞

❝  i said i’m fine.  go find someone who actually likes your fussing.  ❞

❝  careful there,  someone might think you’re actually starting to care.  ❞

❝  it’s fine,  you wouldn’t be—well,  you,  if you could do something like this.  that’s why i’m here isn’t it?  ❞

❝  you brought me along because i can do things you can’t handle.  so just let me do my part then,  yeah?  ❞

❝  no, lets find another way.  ❞

❝  someday,  you’re gonna have to learn there isn’t always another way.  there isn’t always a right answer.  ❞

❝  before i met you,  i used to understand where i stood on everything.  now it’s all…mixed up.  ❞

❝  the world has never been black and white,  you’re just starting to see the grey for the first time.  ❞

❝  you don’t have to do this,  let me do it for you.  ❞

❝  no,  we’ll do this together.  ❞

❝  i’m not heartless,  you know.  i just don’t see the point in wearing it on my sleeve all the time.  ❞

❝  i don’t think you’re weak,  by the way.  in fact,  in some ways you have strengths i’d never be able to possess.  ❞

❝  just because i don’t do things the way you do doesn’t mean i’m wrong.  ❞

❝  i do trust you.  you’ve earned that.  ❞

❝  oh god,  don’t look at me like that.  i’d rather you just be angry than do the whole disappointed face.  ❞

❝  i didn’t let you down,  i don’t answer to you!  ❞

❝  why can’t you just try to have a little hope?  ❞

❝  i may live to regret saying this,  but i agree with you actually.  ❞

[petalsprompts]

send  🌧 or 'rainstorm' for a starter where our muses are caught outside in the rain together.

[stabbyresources]

Send 🔪 to walk in on my muse standing over a dead body.

Send  🔪+ Reverse for my muse to walk in on your muse instead.

[vieridepazzi]

I'm sorry. Were you hoping for a confession?

[vieridepazzi]

@laidbackassassin - Modern AU

[laidbackassassin]

Vieri needed to learn that a relationship wasn’t about winning or losing. It was about having fun and enjoying being around who you were with. Unfortunately, Vieri was domineering and competitive, and that reared up Federico’s uncontrollable desire to be a pain in the ass just to ruffle feathers.  So, technically, it was all Vieri’s fault anything went wrong.

Federico’s expression didn’t waver, despite how much his fingers were being so thoughtlessly crushed. “You just want my phone, I know.” He nodded obnoxiously, not addressing the threats and demands. “There are many pictures of myself on there. You could just ask me to send them to you instead of playing hard to get.”

It was almost as if Federico liked to irritate Vieri more than he liked to have a quiet meal, and Vieri should be flattered at that.

[vieridepazzi]

If asked about a relationship with Federico, Vieri would vehemently deny it. After all, was fucking and being around each other with some exclusivity really a relationship? Yes. Of course not! So Vieri could win or lose as much as he’d like. But if he were ever asked who the blame should fall upon for anything and everything, the answer would certainly not be him. The damned Auditore was always baiting him and fucking things up. Why wouldn’t it be his fault?

The Pazzi scoffed, “Of course it has many pictures of yourself.” He wasn’t surprised. Besides, he’d seen quite a few anyway. He had a few himself, but that was something he’d rather die than admit. He growled his words as he shoved Federico’s hand and phone away sharply, “I don’t want them. Any day I can go without seeing you is a day well spent.”

Says the man spending time with him.

But really, Vieri should expect as much. Federico--and many others for that matter--knew how to ruffle his feathers.

[vieridepazzi]

OOC:

/whispers hello friends I am here

[vieridepazzi]

Very Vieri.

What?

[vieridepazzi]

@laidbackassassin - Modern AU

[laidbackassassin]

Well, that wasn’t entirely unexpected, but it happened faster than he thought it would. Federico tensed immediately, arm flexing to keep a hold on his phone when fingers wrapped around it. He leaned closer, eyes brightening in mischief. It wasn’t the kind of particular attention he was going for, but maybe Vieri would back down if Federico tried to kiss him right then. He should. He really should just smooch him and then make a run for it because Vieri would chase him and Federico enjoyed that type of thrill.

Instead–since they were banned from enough restaurants for reasons that were completely fair and indisputable and mostly involving numerous broken items–Federico lowered his voice and said smugly. “Didn’t take long for you to want my attention, did it?” 

[vieridepazzi]

Oh, how he hated that look! Whenever the bastard made that kind of expression, nothing good came of it. Vieri’s jaw tensed as he remained where he was. He didn’t want Federico to do something stupid, but he also didn’t want to back down at the same time. After all, backing down and moving away meant that he’d lost and surrendered to the damned Auditore. He couldn’t bare the thought! Ignoring, of course, that Federico was generally someone that he couldn’t seem to top.

His fingers tightened over the phone, and he hoped that hurt the prick’s hand too. “You’re lucky,” he hissed in a whisper, “I don’t kill you. Give me the phone now and I won’t break it.” Well, maybe.

Wait. He forgot something. “And I don’t want your attention!” Yeah, take that and choke on it.

[vieridepazzi]

@laidbackassassin - Modern AU

[laidbackassassin]

Federico’s eyes widened slightly, Vieri’s tone traveling up his spine to push his posture up straighter. That was definitely promising. If only they were somewhere private where the both of them could react more with eager hands and arching bodies. Surely, rousing Federico up was what Vieri wanted when he used The Voice, but he wouldn’t give in! Vieri would have to work harder to catch his interest, because Federico had given it much too freely and Some People were taking it for granted. 

He glanced up, thumb pausing over the screen without touching it, the corner of his mouth pulling into a small but challenging smile. “Give me something better to focus on then.”

[vieridepazzi]

Eager hands to grip the bastard’s throat and an arching body to hold him down and lean into the act. Maybe they should find a more private place so that Federico could get what he deserved.

When he was told--no, challenged--to appeal to the prick and make him worth his time, Vieri narrowed his eyes and squared his jaw. He didn’t do well with being forced into a more subordinate role. Part of him wanted to take out his phone and ignore Federico right back but, with his anger building as it were, he didn’t have the composure to be cool.

Could he reach it? The Pazzi considered the likelihood that he’d be able to reach quickly and snatch the phone. Maybe...

Ignoring the fact that Federico was quicker than him and had a better reaction time, Vieri shot his hand out in an attempt to grab the damned phone.

[vieridepazzi]

@laidbackassassin - Modern AU

[laidbackassassin]

Well, maybe Federico wouldn’t bug him to go out on a date if Vieri didn’t ignore him all the time when he needed attention. It was rude and hurtful and only made Federico want to be a nuisance until there was someone who gave him what he wanted. Maybe if Vieri knew what it felt like to be so tragically neglected…then he’d probably just get angry and confrontational. Yeah, that would be a bad idea.

So, Federico decided to go for it.

He took out his phone to check out his usual sites, giving a noncommittal grunt at Vieri’s displeasure. 

[vieridepazzi]

... What did Federico think he was doing?

Now, there were many situations where he could mask his emotions. Those situations were ones that were planned rather than incited. And, of course, this was not one of those situations. Still, he tried to be subtle as he craned his neck in an attempt to see what the bastard was ignoring him for. Was he texting someone else?

His attention flicked from the phone to Federico’s face and then back again. Was he being serious right now? Vieri considered making a grab for it, but thought better of it at the moment. Causing a scene was--at least for now--something he wanted to avoid, but he was quickly becoming incensed. “Put that down.”

[vieridepazzi]

@laidbackassassin - Modern AU

[laidbackassassin]

Now wait just a minute. When he said half his paycheck was gone, he meant the food was expensive. It was also an invitation to join in and joke lightheartedly at their ridiculously fancy tastes in food and service. Vieri was not a jokester, and honestly, when was he ever impressed about anything unless it was himself or his father? Vieri needed to branch out in life.

Federico’s eyes followed the menu in Vieri’s hand. “I could serenade you?” A gentle smile grew upon his face as he tried to catch Vieri’s eye and while he spoke, hopeful. “Perhaps a picnic in the park next time, just you and me?” He sat back, smile turning into a smirk and sounding decidedly amused. “Then I can take you out on my private yacht to my private island and drive you in my private car to my private mansion.” Because he knew no amount of money or status would impress Vieri, so teasing him about it made sense for some reason.

[vieridepazzi]

Joking with Federico? Perhaps if the idiot knew how to be funny, Vieri would join in and laugh. He had a sense of humor obviously. But when he was threatened--as it was indeed something threatening if it weren’t completely stupid--to be serenaded, the Pazzi looked to him with a soured expression. “You better not.”

And a picnic in the park? He scoffed.

“There’s nothing private with you, Auditore.” Maybe he was a little amused with himself. Wasn’t it true? There was nothing that Federico could seem to keep to himself, the bastard. Why was he here again? Oh right. So he could finally be left alone from the constant badgering of ‘go out with me, go out with me!’

He’d better get a good fuck out of this.

“The wine selection is shit.”

[vieridepazzi]

@laidbackassassin - Modern AU

[laidbackassassin]

Federico smirked. As if anything Vieri could say would bring down Federico’s extremely high self-esteem and self-confidence. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” There was no noticeable attempt at keeping his voice from being light and amused. “I’ve ordered drinks and appetizers. Which means there goes half my paycheck, but worth it since I get to spend the evening with you.”

This would be where he’d reach across the table to cover his date’s hand with his own while maintaining eye contact, but he was a thoughtful man who knew that Vieri did not like physical intimacy in the public eye, so he refrained.

[vieridepazzi]

Refraining from Federico’s romantic behavior was always well advised, especially when it could be taken as control being denied from him or his perceived dominance was being ignored. That and, as mentioned, Vieri abhorred this kind of behavior in public - if not completely because Federico was a man.

But at the mention of the order taking up half of the other man’s paycheck on appetizers and drinks alone, it served only to further his not being impressed. Father detested the poor, but thought even poorer of the middle class for daring to think they could be as good as old families with old money. Vieri was always thirsty for his father’s indoctrination. Scoffing at Federico’s attempt at winning him over with sweet nothings of getting to spend the evening with him, he plucked up the wine list on the table and started to look over it. “You’ll have to do better than that.”

Federico should want to spend time with him by virtue of who he--Vieri--was. Compliments would have to be better than that!

[vieridepazzi]

@laidbackassassin - Modern AU

[laidbackassassin]

Federico’s face lit up when Vieri sat down, delighted that the other man didn’t bail. Not that it would have been much of a loss for him if that had happened. He’d still order food, entertain himself by chatting and perhaps flirting with whoever was fortunate to walk by him, and he’d snap up pics of his dinner and his own lovely face for his followers to comment on. But having someone he could take home or go home with was always better.

He leaned forward smoothly, forearms on the edge of the table and head tilting towards his date. “When have I never?” 

[vieridepazzi]

The sour look on his face crinkled up into something more resembling a sort of disgusted annoyance. Why he was entertaining this whole idea was beyond him, but he knew now that it could be more embarrassing to leave now than to just get through it. He’d best be getting a blow at the very least for his trouble.

Vieri furrowed his brows. As if he’d allow Federico his ego! “When have you never?” There was a noticeable attempt at keeping his voice from a shriek or an indignant shout. “Ever is the word you’re looking for.”

“Did you order yet?” Bastard.

[vieridepazzi]

@laidbackassassin - Modern AU

[laidbackassassin]

Perhaps he shouldn’t let Vieri choose the places they went to on their dates. They were usually expensive venues, and while Federico had no problem spending all his money on Vieri, it was usually not lavish enough for someone’s tastes. At least he got to eat and stare at a good looking man for a few hours to make up for the night that was sure to be filled with criticism.

All in all, Federico was rather smitten with himself for actually arriving early and getting a more private and quiet seat in the corner. Surely, he’d earn points for such a thoughtful idea.  

[vieridepazzi]

At least they were able to arrive in different cars so that he wouldn’t have to worry about who might see them together. The bastard was damn lucky he was a pretty decent fuck or Vieri would have never let himself do this kind of thing. Then again... He was really questioning himself why he was doing this, even with that in mind.

It wouldn’t be too late to lea-- Shit.

The Pazzi had caught sight of Federico already sitting down. He could’ve been seen and would have to listen to incessant whining about leaving him there. Pezzo di merda. With a sour look, he made his way over and sat down hard in the chair and put one arm over the back of the chair. “You best make this worth my time, Auditore.”

[vieridepazzi]

@laidbackassassin - Modern AU

Where he’d normally strut into a restaurant with pride, date on his arm and every bit of him exuding money and charm, Vieri found himself questioning why it was that he found himself here. Painstakingly, he had to search out a restaurant that was worthy of his patronage but, at the same time, one that was unlikely to be frequented by any one of his entourage or admirers. It wouldn’t normally be a problem. It shouldn’t have been a problem.

It wasn’t a problem.

His date... His date was the problem.

[vieridepazzi]

OOC:

I'm alive, I swear! I still check this blog actively. 8(

[laidbackassassin]

"Because I did for you." And it wasn’t to his death. He made sure there was something he was dropping Vieri on that would help to cushion his fall. Hadn’t he ever jumped into a pile of leaves before? That was fun. Granted, Federico had just gotten a little excited upon seeing Vieri and had to show it physically with rough housing a bit, but this posturing and threatening was unwarranted. “Are you hurt?” 

[vieridepazzi]

He straightened up with a scoff, "As if I had wanted to be thrown from a window?" It was as if the bastard though he was doing him a favor! Really, Vieri couldn't come up with a reason that he tolerated these insane antics and stupidity. But in his mind--and probably any other sane person--posturing and threatening were most warranted! He could have died or worse yet: become worthless and unable to move. Then where would he be?

And then Federico thought to pretend to be concerned about his well-being? Hah! "Unfortunately for you, I'm unharmed. Do you really think that would kill me?"

Maybe he was just bitter that he was terrified as he fell and it embarrassed him. Maybe.