snerkle

Buckle up your big boi panties, it's gonna be a wild fucking ride. (Buckles not included)

[vigorouslyshakenbyants]

I have something very horrible to share:

My dad and I were discussing our hatred for Scrappy Doo (as one does) and I said "it's a good thing they made him Scooby's nephew instead of his son, because that means Scooby canonically hasn't fucked" and my dad looked at me, raised an eyebrow, and said

"What do you think he and Shaggy get up to when Velma isn't around?"

And I-Itzkyzitjrrjfjfjfduruckvifarthyxudfjfkvlhlb

Needless to say, I ran away screaming

[vigorouslyshakenbyants]

I can't believe my cat just called me ugly to my face. I mean, just look at her.

[vigorouslyshakenbyants]

There is no God, no universe, and no help for you or me. Only Zoodles, as far as the eye can see.

[vigorouslyshakenbyants]

I feel like this teacher from Algebra Nation is a mood for many things.

[vigorouslyshakenbyants]

I just really fucking hate it when my dearly beloved jiggles down the stairs. Don't even get me started on his mom.

[vigorouslyshakenbyants]

Are teabags just reverse tampons? I feel like they are.

[vigorouslyshakenbyants]

Ok, so.

Apparently when I was like 11, we were at Goodwill and I was trying on this pair of kick-ass boots and I go "Mom look at these dominatrix boots" , but I pronounced it dah-min-ah-TRIX instead of daw-min-AY-trix. My mom goes "what that's not how you say it" and I responded with "well, that's how they say it in Scooby-Doo."

[vigorouslyshakenbyants]

Oh. My. Bejeezus.

I shit y'all not, I saw a like fifty year old Facebook Karen in the flesh today and she had a mcfreaking MINION TATTOO. I AM STILL MENTALLY RECOVERING.

[vigorouslyshakenbyants]

"I have a lot of weird shit"

The thought going through my head as I look around my room, finding a throwing dagger, a vintage can of shuttlecocks, and a traffic cone dispenser I made out of LEGO.