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kal vih'torr . 26 . cargo pilot

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atticusprior‌:

DATE & TIME: 1/17, 9:30AM LOCATION: Medbay, Rebel Base TAG: OPEN

Exhaustion and grief both roll off of him in waves, spreading into a cesspool made of only what haunted dreams can create, night terrors when he is still awake, voices of the mind, whispering, begging for the turn of his head just to scratch at the place behind his eyes.  That’s not all there is to his person, besides the bags under his eyes, there’s a limp in his step that has been there long before the trip to Coruscant, but the night didn’t help with not agitating the old injury, pain in his step. The cane he left in the ship now at his side. Upon arrival, his plans are to speak to no one, to keep his head down, to be nothing more than shadow, but this doesn’t take away the softness of his voice when his attention turns to the newcomer in the medbay, the offices already in full swing for the day, “Are you here to see one of us?” The doctors.

He felt worn out after everything that had happened on Eadu. He was always very active and thought he’d be fine making a sudden change from simply going on missions and not necessarily doing much except staying behind on ships, but this time things had been different. Thankfully, he hadn’t really been injured, but his body felt sore and there were a few scrapes and bruises all over him. Tobias felt like he needed something to make him feel better, especially as he knew he had a lot more he had to do and didn’t have time to be walking around sore or get any infection in any of the cuts. “Um, yeah,” Tobias answered. “It should be simple. I need some medicine and that should be about it, I think.” 

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knighthimself‌:

DATE & TIME: 1/17, 3:00PM   LOCATION: The Temple, Yavin IV TAG: OPEN

He’s still standing at the doorway, leaned against the archway, half in the room and half ready to walk away. Left hand flipping a Kyber Crystal in the air before catching it again, a nervous habit, and anytime the indigo hits his line of sight, its all he can look at, not the younglings making their first sabers, and him to the side making notes aloud. “That’ll cause that shit to explode that first time you slap anything harder than a cotton ball.” It’s as far as he’ll go to joining them. Eyes half train on the person next to him, acknowledging, without looking, without meeting eyes. “Think maybe we should have taken the blasters they were in instead?” It’s already wide news about how the Crystals had to be pried from them. “You gonna make you a new one?” He nods at the sabers beginning to form.

Kal wasn’t exactly sure what he was doing here. He had gotten a Kyber Crystal on the mission, but at this point, it all felt so strange. It didn’t feel right building himself a lightsaber when he already had one from his childhood. He always felt connected to that one, and building something new felt like he’d be abandoning the old saber from the Jedi Knight. Perhaps he simply wasn’t ready for this just yet, and maybe after he was more certain of himself and his role as a Jedi, he’d be fine building a saber. He could see everyone else excited to be making their own, but Kal couldn’t feel that way at all. “Huh?” he asked when he heard the other speak. It quickly registered in his head and he shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Probably not right now, but sometime later. It’s all a weird feeling at the moment.” 

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jezhamaghrsal‌:

“Distractions are welcome,” Jezha’s voice was calm and measured, his face turned upward to the sky with his eyes closed, “you’re not disturbing me.” The peace inside the clearing was something precious, but it also wasn’t something to be squandered — to be selfishly grabbed at and consumed. Jezha desperately wished for peace among his fellow rebels; wanted desperately to be able to soothe them all. It was a fool’s goal — an impossible one — but his heart ached all the same.

“You’re welcome to join me if you wish to, dear one.” Jezha’s back was rod-straight as he sat, at once betraying the tension he was holding in his body, and displaying the training that had been instilled in him. No matter the discomfort, a Jedi must be able to focus. He opened his eyes and twisted to face Kal. “Please,” he said, “join me. It will be good for both of us.”

Kal nodded his head as Jezha spoke. He was glad he hadn’t disturbed him, and that he wasn’t upset by his presence. He nodded his head and walked over to take a seat nearby Jezha. He was glad he wasn’t disturbing him, but he hoped his presence in the space wouldn’t annoy him. He felt like he was stressed out and like he would make the feeling in the air different.

“If you say so,” Kal responded. He sat down and crossed his legs over each other and looked over at Jezha. His presence felt comforting to him, but he wasn’t entirely sure what it was. He sometimes felt that way around the older Jedi, and sometimes he wondered if they could tell that he was also a Jedi. He always did his best to hide that part of himself, but he was sure that it was easier for experienced Jedi to pick up on. The younger, inexperienced ones would probably not take any notice to him. “Thank you,” he said finally, after a few moments of silence. “It’s always good to sit here and think.” 

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bc my boy is a lonesome cowboy 

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ecroixx‌:

the small creature in his hands flutters around at the sound of the stranger; the boy immediately trying to soothe the flustered animal with soft coos and gentle pats before looking up at the person in front of him, smile soft. 

“it’s no worries, truly. maybe a bit of a disturbance to this little one but i think he’s gonna be okay.” he nods at the now-purring animal in his hands with a small grin. “come, sit. i promise neither of us bite, really. it’s hard to find quiet spots around here - we won’t be too much of a nuisance.” 

he hums quietly to himself for a moment, lets silence fall between them before turning to the other, holding out his hands slightly towards him, small animal still purring. 

“did you wanna pet him? or hold him, even? promise he’s harmless - it’s quite therapeutic, really.”

Kal smiled as soon as he saw the small creatures in the the other’s hands. He didn’t that the animal was there, but he always had a soft spot for cute little creatures. He nodded his head, not saying anything at all, and walked over to take a seat across from Xavis. 

He sat in silence for a few moments, watching him and the tiny porg, and he leaned back on his hands, glancing up at the sky. This was certainly the last thing he had expected to encounter when walking through the farmlands, and it was certainly a nice surprise. 

Kal glanced up as he spoke again. “Yeah, I’d like that,” he said, scooting over a bit closer to him and holding his hands out. “I’m good with animals, or at least I like to think that.” He chuckled softly as the little animal came over to him and he held it in his hands, slowly petting it. “I grew up on a farm with a lot of animals, and I was kinda the one in charge of taking care of the animals.” 

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sorinnoveske‌:

The spirit of the Rebellion. It was a nice phrase, fitting for someone who now lived among the Jedi. It was the kind of thing an even younger Sorin might’ve said, the kind of thing that went hand in hand with he’s there with the Force now. It wasn’t the statement Sorin latched onto though. “Do you really believe that?” he asked, sitting up straight now.  There was dust on his elbows, rocks pressed into his skin when he’d propped himself up against the ground. It didn’t seem right to lay down as they spoke of the dead though. “That it’ll make us stronger going on without him?” 

Sorin was a Jedi, even if he was convinced he didn’t deserve the title. Bail Organa was far from the first person he’d lost, and Sorin had never felt stronger from outliving someone. He was Morellian though. If the Empire didn’t get to him first—or the Jedi, or his own stupid choices—then he’d outlive most people here. He’d outlive children who weren’t born yet. He’d outlive the children of those children. Eight hundred years was such a brutally long time, and Sorin was more aware of that with every passing day.

“I really do feel like it might,” he said. “It may take time and it’ll be a difficult journey for us all, because he was so strong and important, but in the end ... I don’t know. I think his words and ideas will continue on and we’ll keep using that. I’m sure there will be new people also coming up with ideas and helping us grow and become stronger.” Kal wanted to believe that so much. He truly thought they could continue to become stronger, even if no one wanted to think much about it at the moment or even consider the idea. 

He’d experienced far too many deaths in his short life, possibly more than most people his age. That was the reason he was even here at this base - he wanted to fight back and protect more people from brutal meaningless killings. “Sorry, it’s probably too soon to talk about that,” Kal said with a shrug of his shoulders. “I just feel that .. it might be true. Whenever things like this have happened, it takes me a while to get over it, but then, you know, I get stronger and more prepared for things - more prepared to protect others.” 

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nniedra‌:

There’s a small smile from Noa as he speaks, speaks of an inner strength. She remembers the story from the hangar bay, the man saved just in time, a mystery people simply accepted. She’s trained too many younglings to be so fooled. That quick thinking, the willingness to save a life, it’s important, he should know. It’s the secret of life, how critical it is to be kind, to care for life as it is now.

“It’s a blessing and a tragedy you’ve had to become so wise this young,” she means it. Really, he is the same age as she was when she became a Master, the same age she was when she faced the Purge. Neither of their stories were deserved. Neither of the lives needing to be faced. She learned early that striving to give and be given what they’re deserved leads nowhere. 

“I don’t want to speak it too early, but you’re sounding like a Jedi, with words like that, how we should have been.” A beat, “How long have you been in the Rebellion, Kal?”

“Yeah, sometimes it feels more like a curse at times,” he said. He didn’t talk too much about his past, and for the most part people only knew about the recent events with his old friends and coworkers. Kal hadn’t told a single person on the base about his childhood, and the Jedi who he had known for only a few brief seconds. Sometimes there were moments he wanted to bring it up and tell someone about that day, but he always closed himself off as soon as he felt the moment was about to happen. 

“Oh, well, definitely not a Jedi,” he said with a laugh. “I guess I spend so much time around all the Jedi here that sometimes I feel ... connected.” He tried to phrase his words carefully, trying to make sure he didn’t out right say that he had the Force. He was sure someone like Noa could figure it out, but he was going to continue to keep that as secret as he could at the moment. “I’ve been here for about a year or so now. I think being part of it and learning all of the history, makes me feel part of the entire thing.”

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nareens‌:

She assumes that everyone is having a meteor shower of thoughts in their minds, so much going on behind tired eyes and stoic faces. If they’re anything like herself. And there’s refuge in a space like this, where the air goes on for miles and the smell of the grass filling your senses and calming your mind. Such spaces are welcome, necessary even. If Nareen was a better Jedi she could bring this to life wherever she was, she could provide this comfort for anyone. She has to remind herself that there are years for her to learn, and time is necessary to better a power she was unaware of for years.

A breathe leaves her lips and she lays down on the grass, magenta eyes taking in the sky above them; a sky is a marvel that desires to be seen. Some words desire to be spoken, and others don’t. He can control the space if he’d like, if he decides to speak then she’ll do the same, if not, again Nareen will mirror his actions. “No, it’s not something I’d mind. Talking makes the body temperature rise anyhow.” Body temperature, stress levels, blood pressure; the words used and what you spoke about could do any number of things. But words could also cause relief, happiness, a drop in cortisol levels. “I can understand why. On one hand there’s so much to be said, on the other there’s so much that just can’t be voiced. It’s hard to say some things, you know?”

Kal leans down against the grass and looks up at the sky, his eyes focused on the stars slowly peaking out as the sun begins to fade away. There’s so many thoughts racing through his mind, and he grins as he looks over at Nareen, who he realizes is also resting on her back. “Yeah, I should definitely focus on keeping myself cool for right now,” he says with a chuckle. 

He listens to her speak, and it’s as if her entire presence is relaxing him. He can’t help but agree with each word she says, and he nods his head along. He’s glad to hear she’s fine not talking much, and he wonders if she’d be okay with any conversation they might have, if it’s fine that it’s simple small talk, and nothing about the previous day’s events. “There’s always a lot of things to say, but who wants to even talk about them, anyway?” he said with a slight shrug of his shoulders. “Sometimes - well, a lot of the times - it’s easier to keep your thoughts in your head.” 

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feinkomo‌:

His favorite time of day was just when the sun began to set, when the air got that small crisp of cool to it – even if the jungle’s humidity kept a continual sheen of sweat on his skin at all times. Fein loved when the stars began to creep along the sunset’s pinks and blues, and he could feel the world around him getting quieter. There was a peace to the twilight hours that didn’t exist at any other time.

It felt like the best time for sharing secrets – even if he only shared them with himself.

He’d just settled himself down into a clearing and was beginning to breath in and out with the creeping sunset, when he felt another presence behind him. He relaxed at the familiarity of the voice, and let himself sink into a more natural pose, “It’s alright,” he called back.

He knew Kal from the hangar bay, the cargo pilot was always in and out while Fein was working on ships or sliding in and out of his X-Wing’s cockpit, “Guess I wasn’t the only one looking for a bit of peace and quiet, huh?”

Kal recognized the familiar voice and face from his constant hours in the hangar - it was easy for him to recognize the pilots on the base as he saw and interacted with them all the time. He turned back around and walked over, taking a seat on the ground nearby Fein. “What can I say? It’s the perfect time with the sun setting and the stars coming out to relax and think,” he responded with a quick nod of his head.

He wasn’t typically a chatty person and would usually mind his own business and avoid others, but maybe today he felt like being a bit more open than usual. Although, in his mind, opening himself up would be to sit around with another person even if they didn’t say or do anything. He was always at his most vulnerable at times like this, and it was something he didn’t want a lot of people to see.

“Hope you don’t mind me intruding too much,” he said. “If it gets annoying having me be here, just tell me to get out and I’ll go sit somewhere else.” He chuckled a bit, leaning back on his elbows and looking up at the setting sun. 

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kesslong‌:

The day after yesterday was always going to be tough. She just had no idea how challenging it would be. Naively, perhaps, she assumed that the missions would end when they did, a chapter closed, looking forward to a new one. That was the way it always was in the academy. You couldn’t linger. You couldn’t stop to contemplate today’s actions. Doing so would have rotted your soul from the inside out, a slow and painful death. These were the ways people survived.

And for all that Kess told herself that being a Jedi didn’t have to be like that, that being on this side was different - sometimes they felt the same.

Not wanting her name to be linked to the rescue mission - she’d wilt under the rebel scrutiny of how she’d been unable to get Bail to safety - and reject any praise for securing Leia’s safety, she’d kept a low profile, keeping to the shadows. It was easy to fade away. Everyone had higher concerns, more things to worry about than the tattoo artist turned padawan with a cross next to her name and a checkered past a little too close to her heart. The farmlands had felt like a logical escape, not that she had ever frequented them much.

Someone else, apparently, had the idea.

Staring up into the face of Kal, Kess internally winced. As much as she sometimes felt as if she deserved his scrutiny and mistrust, she wasn’t such a masochist as to embrace it. “No - “ She replied, leaping to her feet after a moments hesitation. “I’ll go. I’ve hogged more than my fair share of time here anyway. Someone else’s turn.” 

As soon as he realized Kess was the one there, he wanted to get away as fast as possible. He understood she wasn’t with the Empire anymore, but there was still something about her that he didn’t like, that made him feel uncertain about who she was. Kal wish he understood what it was about her that made him feel this way.

“No, no, you can stay,” he said, turning back around to look at her, seeing she was already standing. He took a deep breath and glanced away from her. His eyes scanned the farmlands, focusing on everything around them and how beautiful the world was. “You shouldn’t have to go if you were already here first. I don’t want to be that asshole who makes you leave.”

At this point, Kal wasn’t sure what to do now. He wasn’t really in the mood to find some other place to sit and meditate, but he also wasn’t sure if he wanted to be alone with Kess. He wouldn’t typically mind the presence of another person - as long as they didn’t try to chat with him, of course - and he didn’t want to be too rude to her, especially with all the recent horrible events. “If you don’t mind, I’ll be over ...,” his voice trailed off as he waved his hand to an area they weren’t standing in, “somewhere.” 

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sorinnoveske‌:

With everything that happened on Jedha, Kal said, and Sorin froze. “You mean Bail Organa,” he said, filling in the blanks for himself. His tone was respectful, perhaps even soft, but he didn’t shy away from the topic either. Like most of the Jedi these days, Sorin was no stranger to death. That didn’t mean he was immune to the grief that suffocated the Temple right now, the way people flinched away from saying Bail’s name, but he wouldn’t pretend it hadn’t happened. That would be a greater disservice, and they’d already been forced to leave his body behind with the Empire. Already denied Organa the pyre he deserved. No funeral, no grave, Tarkin had said.

“Doesn’t matter that he wasn’t a Jedi. He’s part of the Force now anyway,” Sorin said, carefully. It was an attempt at comfort, but it was also the teachings he’d clung to all these years. There is no death, there is the Force. Bail would live on in his daughter, but it was more than that. As a child, Sorin had often pictured the lost lives of all his ancestors. Generation upon generation of Morellians, all gone and yet still there with him; all of them existing in some new state. He’d imagined it was more peaceful there anyway—that they would breath a sigh of relief when they left their warn-torn planet behind to join the unknowable energy of the Force. Surely, then, it was the same for Bail Organa. Sorin tried to believe in those words as much as he had when he was only a child. 

Kal nodded his head at Sorin’s words, but there was more to it than just Bail Organa. Of course, that was the main thing that kept coming to Kal’s mind, but there were so many other things that made his mind race. There was the fact that the Empire knew there were Jedi out there and they were going to be hunting each of them down, trying to murder every single one of them. 

Yet, Kal didn’t want to mention any of this. He didn’t want to think about how they were all known and how it was even more dangerous for him now. 

“Yes, I mean Bail Organa,” he finally said. “I hate that we couldn’t save him, but he’s still here in the spirit of the Rebellion.” He wanted to really believe that Bail was still with them, even if he wasn’t necessarily alive. Kal had always believed that the deceased can stay with you no matter what, and he was really sure Bail would still be around them all, just as he was certain about the spirit of so many others. “I’m sure he’d want us to continue focusing on helping continue what he believed in so strongly though, so after we’ve all had time to process this for a few more days, it’ll just help make us stronger.” 

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llewynalarcon‌:

The farmland was the closes thing to peace.

No one said it, but he from the moment Llewyn returned to Yavin IV he felt their critical stares all thinking the same thing. He had been one of the people in charge and his insufficiency had cost Bail Organa his life. Llewyn did not value their opinion, he knew the kind of man he was and it was only a matter of time before they saw it too, but he hadn’t allowed the Jedi Council to see at most he vulnerable he wasn’t going to put on a show for the rebels.

On the farmland there was only the feeling of hay prickling his hands as he gripped it tightly and the corpse of Bail. He had not seen it personally, it was only when they got to the safety of the ship and counted the numbers that they realized he was gone, but to see one was to see them all. Llewyn had warned them from the beginning that he had wanted no part in this, that it would serve them both to leave him where they found him and pretend it never happened and when he had a moment of weakness they should have been smart enough to reject his offer to go.

He looked down at his palm still caked in dry blood despite spending ten minutes washing his hands. It would never go away, it never really did. He knew it wasn’t real but if the force wanted him to never forget the crime he had committed on Jedha and all the ones before it it might as well have been. Llewyn hadn’t heard Kal approach, it was rare for anyone to catch him off guard and if had registered his face just a moment too late there wasn’t a chance of him stopping himself from lunging forward or curbing his punch. Instead he looked at Kal wide eyed and intensely, could feel the weight of the imaginary blow like a muscle memory, before his relaxed into the neutral expression everyone at the base had likely grown accustomed to seeing.

“It’s alright,” he said before breaking eye contact. “Should have known better.”

Kal recognizes the other as soon as he turns around, and he knows that Llewyn was someone in charge of the rescue mission. Of course he’d be out here too, and Kal was certain he’d run into quite a few others trying to recover from the recent events - something even he was out here doing. 

He wasn’t entirely sure what the comment was for - if he should’ve known better than to interrupt Llewyn or if it had an entirely different meaning at all. Kal didn’t want to think too hard about it and make things even more stressful or uncomfortable, so instead he nodded his head and looked around. “Okay, good,” he responded. He wanted to say something else - anything else, but the words weren’t coming to him. He wanted to ask about what happened on Jedha, but he knew it was neither the time nor place for that type of conversation. It was still something that Kal was trying to figure out completely as he’d been on the ship and had only heard everyone as they got back and heard the different stories and accounts of what had happened to each person, or even only passing conversations that he wasn’t a part of. 

“I’ll just ... I don’t want to keep bothering you,” he said a bit nervously. He didn’t blame anyone for what happened on Jedha because sometimes things like that were no one’s fault. He always tried to believe that, even if he still continued to blame himself for what happened not too long ago on Mandalore. “I’d suggest relaxing and trying not to think about anything from the past few days. That’s what I’m headed off to do myself.” 

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nniedra‌:

She nods, hearing his words, a look in her eye that says he doesn’t need to thank her, for anything, leaves it unsaid, felt instead. Her gaze turns away only for brief moments to the younglings and back again. Hands are wringing things, but not out of anxiety or nerves, just an energy. “It’s not always about fighting, it’s being prepared. You don’t have to be a fighter to defend.”

Noa, unlike Kal, has never had to live a life where she only got to worry about herself, she had to learn early living wasn’t just about her. Life here is no different. To survive, to live, you need each other. As people need you, as you need them. It is something to feel frightened of, because it means it’s important. It means you know how important everyone is, how important Kal is, for himself, for everyone else. The lightheartedness of his tone reflects in her small smile, automatic. “I’m sure you have, and each time, you’ve come back out, and that says something, it’ll always say something. You learn being here, being around anyone, that each day, each thing you face is different.”

Kal nodded his head in agreement. He wouldn’t exactly mind fighting if he needed to. He’d be completely fine learning how to fight and train as a Jedi, but he would certainly keep that to himself at the moment. “Yeah, I know,” he replied. “Every aspect, every role, is always important in something as dangerous as this - or really anything.” 

“Yes, there’s always something inside me that keep fighting to make it out alive no matter what happens,” he said. “It’s probably something everyone has in them, but I’m always fighting for everything I can.” Kal shrugged his shoulders, deciding then that everything would be fine today. He’d be fine and everyone else would be okay too. He wasn’t sure what exactly it was about Noa that helped relax him before he was about fly off, but he was glad he had stumbled upon her. He knew she worked mostly with younglings and that was probably what was so relaxing about her, but he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his time with her before he left. 

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nareens‌:

“You don’t have to go.” She turns and reaches out to him, something he surely can’t see with his back turned, but Nareen feels self conscious about it anyhow. Hands rest on her lap once more, fingers towing with the pleat running down the center of her pant leg, “Pretend I’m not here if you’d like, but you came here for a reason, so don’t feel the need to go.” Who is Nareen to claim the space in the farmlands, who is she to keep another from seeking refuge among the farmlands? 

Nareen moves over, as if they aren’t surrounded by acres upon acres of open land, enough to fit ten of herself and ten of him. She moves over and focuses on the grass besides her, fingers running through the green blades, and doesn’t say much else. Nareen is not a talker, not a well-versed one per se; this is disadvantageous in times when someone is looking for advice from her, but when others seek silence, there’s no one better to have around. She so often operates in silence that it’s become a home.

Kal paused as he heard her response. He hadn’t expected to hear that, as he thought most people would say something about how he should go away or they’d say nothing at all as he left. He thought that she’d probably prefer to be left alone and not have anyone bother her, even if they were to only sit in silence. He turned back around and glanced down at her. “Okay,” he replied, keeping it brief and simple. 

He walked over and took a seat. He wasn’t next to her, but he wasn’t exactly far away either. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to have another person’s company while he tried to focus on his thoughts. It had been a while since Kal had let himself sit in silence with another person, but that was because he felt it was almost like he was opening himself up more than if he were to talk with her - especially if they sat in a comfortable silence. “Hope you don’t mind if I’m not talkative,” he told her, moving his body so he was facing her as he crossed his legs and rested his arms on his lap. “I’m not super chatty. Especially after ... all of that.” 

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sorinnoveske‌:

Lately, he’d taken to wandering Yavin IV. He’d spent years traveling the galaxy on his own, but some of those memories were a blur, and the rest he’d rather forget. Sorin should’ve been grateful for a planet to live on, for simple pleasures like the same bed every night. Somehow, though, he was still infected with the kind of restless itch that left him wandering the farmlands in the evening, changing the scenery even if he wasn’t fleeing anymore. 

Eventually he’d slowed to a stop though, laying on his back admist what now seemed like endless rows of crops. How melodramatic, even Sorin could see that. He wasn’t the only one out here though, and as the footsteps in the distance turned into a voice, Sorin sighed. “Nah,” Sorin managed. Evidently any hope of eloquence was gone for the moment.  He stretched, felt the pop of overworked muscles and tendons. If he was sore though, it was only from training. After all, he’d done nothing of consequence on Jedha, and it was probably for the best. 

Sorin had spent years in the shadows, and where he’d once thrown himself into the fray, lightsaber blazing, it seemed stealth was more his strength these days. Sorin propped himself up on his elbows, glancing up at Kal. “It’s too quiet out here anyway,” he added. “Unless that’s what you’re here for?”

Kal shrugged his shoulders in response. “Yeah, I guess I was looking for the quiet,” he replied. He really wanted to sit in the quiet, focus on himself, possibly meditate. He’d started meditating ever since arriving on Yavin IV and seeing how the Jedi would often do that, and he’d find himself on the edge of the fields meditating.

Walking over to where Sorin was, he decided to sit down on the ground across from him. He was used to relaxing at this same spot each time he came to the fields, and he wasn’t used to someone else being here. “You know, with everything happening on Jedha, it just seems like the perfect time to sit in some type of silence and try to ... “ He paused for a moment, trying to think of the words. He didn’t want to say he wanted to forget everything, because he certainly didn’t want to forget what happened there. He also didn’t want to ignore any of it either. “Yeah, no idea what I was about to say.” He shrugged his shoulders and lay down on the grass, looking up at the sky.

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nniedra‌:

Kal is not a Padawan, but he reminds her of one. He reminds her of the Temples on Coruscant, of almost-Padawans returning back to the Creche, wondering if they were ready. And the answer always, if they were wondering, if they were questioning it, was yes. Even afraid. 

She’s patient when he looks back at her, waits for him to process. And there’s a long moment she watches him, a long moment she looks to the little things, because they always matter more than they seems. “Good, they’ll need you,” pride in the words, followed by a pause, and her voice turns quiet for the children near them, “I’m not saying you’ll have to fight and I’m not saying you have to be unafraid, fear is good, fear can make you run faster, thinking clearer—can you protect yourself?”

Kal nodded his head as she spoke. Her words were certainly something he needed to hear at that exact moment before he flew off to Jedha. “Thank you,” he said. “I don’t think I have to worry about fighting though. I’ll be staying on the ship, ready to take off whenever they need to.” 

He’d never had to worry about so many lives before on a trip like this, and typically it had only been his life and that of four to five others on smuggling ships. It was never so many people all at once, and that’s what was truly frightening him, especially after everything that had happened not too long ago. “I’m sure I’ll be fine though. I’ve probably been in worse situations,” he said a bit lightheartedly. 

[vihtorrs-blog]

DATE &TIME: 1/05, 6:30 PM LOCATION: Farmlands, Yavin IV TAG: open

Kal’s mind was still processing everything that happened on Jedha, and he was trying to focus on anything else. He knew there was absolutely nothing he could’ve done or any way he could have helped, yet he still felt there was something else for him. He wanted to do more, but he wasn’t exactly a Jedi and he wasn’t even sure if he wanted anything to do with that. 

Instead of working his thoughts away, he found himself walking through the farmlands, wandering farther and farther away from base camp. He always enjoyed how peaceful it was out here and how it would sometimes remind him of his home, and the thoughts of his childhood, before anything bad had ever happened, helped him feel relaxed. Kal hummed to himself as he walked along. As he walked to a clearing to take a seat and relax, he saw another individual there and he stopped, ready to turn back around to find solitude elsewhere. “Sorry,” he said. “Didn’t mean to disturb you.”