restless heart

like glittered golden stars, a precious constellation. vika zielinski ● 26 ● life is no fun without a little adventure

[vikazielinski]

dorothykipper‌:

The question of trust was always difficult to answer. There was always the outward appearance of trust - the people you pretended to be loyal to or affiliated with because it only seemed to be polite. but then there was the deeper level, the people who you actually believe will never do anything to bring you to harm. These were few and far between. She tried on a faint smile, “That’s true. I don’t think I’ve met anyone I really trusted in my life outside of my family. In order to trust someone you must know them, and I don’t know anyone here at all.” 

Dotty was no stranger to rumors, they had always swirled around her. She was prone to falling for women and prone to lying, both habits inspired some sideways glances and hushed tones, “Perhaps it’s better to have a bad reputation while you live than to lose your life early.”

She paused, a flush coming over her cheeks as she struggled to say the words she meant with eloquence, “Maybe …you?” 

Her words rang true for Vika too; though with the great exception that she didn’t trust her family. Perhaps the only person she had in the world was herself -- something that could have been considered a lonely existence but she has built her guard up far too high for anyone to ever scale -- and there was no one on the train that she could say that she, whole heartedly, trusted. There was people she could say she would, if she had to, accept that her fate would be left to them, but nothing like trust.

“In that case,” Vika said, just a touch above softly. “I believe it’s going to be hard to trust anyone here -- who comes on a short train journey to get to know people?” A very pessimistic outlook on it and that caused Vika to sigh, shaking her head. “But, perhaps that could be rectified by getting to know people. This could be a start -- hello, I’m Vika and I would love to get to know you.”

Again, the young woman spoke nothing but the truth to Vika who couldn’t help but smile. She, herself, had built up quite a bad reputation and she knew better than anyone that it was a lot better. “A reputation is only a reputation, and unless it gets back to the wrong people, then it shouldn’t be something that worries you. I, myself, have been quite privy to the bad reputation, or two, but it’s something I can just brush off.” And then, she added, a little more to herself than anyone else; “Being a disappointment is fairly easy these days.”

Vika watched the colour stain her cheeks, the way she almost stumbled over her words, and as no stranger to this, it made her mouth tick up in the one side. A lover of the finer things in life, Vika allowed herself to fall in lust with whoever she so desired and she could pick up on a desire too.

“Now, that’s forward,” she joked, mostly light heartedly. “Typically, talking isn’t a part of it, but if you so wish --”

A wink, followed by a soft laugh that many Parisians had told her sounded quite like the Devil making his schemes. She liked to be known for that. “I would happily keep you company, in whichever manner you wish to be kept, and... I have plenty to talk about.”

[wickanderhalovar]

endless dutch gifs [1 of ∞]

[vikazielinski]

orientgoverness‌:

Evelyn walked over to where VIka was talking to one of the attendants, nodding her head in agreement. “I have to agree with her, I don’t think I’d be able to get a wink of sleep if I knew that the killer is among us still,” she looked over to where the over passengers were either sat or stood and muttered to herself, “not even putting us as pairs would be a viable option.”

Vika, against her better judgement, allowed a small smile to grace her lips then. Different from the wicked gleam she usually wore, it was obvious that her mind was, briefly, elsewhere, before she caught herself. Adjusting once more, she faced the attendant. “You can’t keep us in the dark forever; we’ll find things out for ourselves. I have my ways of doing so.”

The attendant no longer any of her concern then, Vika turned to Evelyn and offered her a gracious smile; it felt odd, to be so sincere for once. “Thank you.” she told the other woman. “Too many people are too content with having nothing. Or, at least, not going out of their way to find something. There is a killer here, after all.”

[vikazielinski]

dorothykipper‌:

At the mention of Paris Dotty relaxed. She felt as if she was going to be on this hell train forever, locked in these same four cars and confined to grapple with fear for infinity. But when Paris was mentioned she realized it would only be a few more days and then she could look back on this like a bad dream, “Certainly there are some people you trust?”

A strange smile crept at Dorothy’s lips, “Yes, I suppose you’re right. That is probably the only way to keep myself safe. So I must find someone to talk to all through the night. It will be scandalous, but the only thing I can do to protect myself.”

The girl’s question was an interesting one; the semantics of it could mean a variety of things. Was there someone she trusted personally? Was there someone who garnered trust right away, like an official in a uniform? Perhaps yes, but most would be a long way away from this train. Others would have to prove themselves over the next few days. “Well,” she drew out, long and slow. “I do believe there are, but trust is such a fickle matter, no one really holds it for long for me.”

Vika felt a small chuckle rise in her throat, escaping her with a soft smile. It wasn’t a harsh one in the slightest, just a small giggle at her perception of scandalous. “It certainly will be,” she nodded, her smile rising on one end to become a smirk. “The rumours will fly, but I believe people should be more concerned with themselves than who people share a cabin with tonight. Or ever. Far too much going on to be an issue, right?”

Vika then dropped her head to the side, very slightly. “Any ideas on whom you think would be best to roommate with tonight?”

[marveladdicts]

[vikazielinski]

dorothykipper‌:

Dorothy’s shoulder’s tense at the other’s words. She doesn’t want to attempt to enter the mind of the killer. She does not want to sink to that level for fear of never coming back, “I actually was thinking the very same thing. I just have to hope that whomever I am taking comfort with is not the very person I should be avoiding. I guess there’s no way of knowing until it’s too late. But I think I’d rather keep myself awake whispering to someone than staying in sleepless silence.”

Vika thought for a moment, watching the girl’s shoulders tense slightly at her words. It wasn’t an easy time for anyone, and it caused her to wonder if she should be more worried than she already was; the thrill of it was beginning to wear off, after all. “That is a risk we’re all going to have to take until we arrive in Paris, unfortunately. I believe everyone here is some kind of suspect.”

She had to sigh, to shake her head slightly. “But perhaps, if you choose not to sleep and, instead, keep talking to them, then it’ll be more difficult for them to strike if they are who we’re worried about. It’s highly unlikely that they’d let you see them, right?”

[vikazielinski]

“I’m not usually one who tends to do background checks on the people I share a place, or bed, with but I can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to know about this whole thing. Curfew or not, I think it’d be a good idea to find out something. It’ll just make me restless all night if I don’t...”

[vikazielinski]

dorothykipper‌:

@vikazielinski

“I respect the curfew but  I don’t want to go to bed. I don’t want to risk not waking up.” 

“Perhaps that’s exactly what the murderer wants us to feel.” Her voice wasn’t gentle, though it wasn’t harsh either. She was merely theorising. “But if it’s really such a terrifying prospect for you, perhaps you can sneak out after curfew and share a room with someone else. Safety does come in numbers, after all.”

[vikazielinski]

“You,” Vika drew near the woman, one hand on her hip, the other holding out one finger pointing towards her. “Look like you need company, something to take your mind off the gloom. And for that, I’m your girl.”

@fallenpatels

[vikazielinski]

jimmymcnichol‌:

He couldn’t help but smile when he saw the look in the other’s eyes. That was a look of hope and the look of a profit, and he enjoyed both so much. “That’s dangerous, young lady, but I like your styles.I have a few tinctures if that’s more you’re looking for.” A paused, his smile broadening; still a child at heart, he always enjoyed a game.

“The oils you can rub on your temples, or just take a few whiffs of. It does the trick quite well. I’m sure you’d know what to do with the tablets, you seem like a smart girl and they’re not hard to figure out. Now, if we’re talking haggling, well I’m a gentleman, you know, ladies first and all… What is it you’re offering?” 

His words seemed more like a challenege to Vika; dangerous he had said and that caused her to smile more, a somewhat wicked gleam to the way her lips curved into it. If he believed her words to be an indication of the trouble she could cause, then he was in for a shock if, and when, he ever saw her in action. “Now, that’s more of my speed.” she told him, giving him a sharp nod. “No need to play safe, sir, not when we know what we want here.”

She listened to his explanations, nodding along to show that she was doing just so -- still unable to shake the years of teachings within her, she had her mother and Madame Oksana to thank for that --, though she didn’t necessarily need them. She had found herself exploring certain ventures in her antics and although it would have been nice to upstage him, she opted to let him feel like he had the expertise over her.

“Naturally,” she stated, “I’m inclined to ask for your normal price, but I’m sure a man of your career knows exactly the right price to ask for. Instead, I’m willing to make you an offer; think of it as an exchanging of services.” 

Elbows on the table, she clasped her hands in front of her, that wicked gleam still shining within her. “I can offer you a small fraction of the normal price, as I appreciate your work, and as for the rest of the payment, I am very willing to show you how to have a good night, the right kind of a good night, mind you.”

[vikazielinski]

charlottezhao‌:

“even so, it never hurts to say a few words when you are feeling lost or simply needing guidance.” charlotte nodded. “he is where he is supposed to be, yes. we can all take comfort in that.” she noticed the gold cross necklace around the other’s neck and smiled. it was obvious she had not strayed too far from what was important, and charlotte appreciated that.

“ah, kiev. i have never been, but i hear it has many beautiful buildings. despite the hardship that it has experienced,” she added hesitantly. “i should like to go preach there on their radios someday, but alas, i do not speak ukrainian. i think that an uplifting sermon can help in even the most trying times.”

Vika nodded, though she said nothing more. Lost or simply needing guidance, where what the other had said but Vika could only hear her own fear and worry reverberating in the beat of her heart. Was it wrong of her to admit that the only feeling that had cropping up within her had been worry for her own safety? Perhaps saying a few words would help, but only in her own self interest. Besides, it might make her look more... nicer in other’s eyes.

“I haven’t been home in many years,” Vika admitted to her, though it wasn’t as much of a problem as she would have liked it to be. Avoiding her parents meant that she had avoided the troubles that had befallen her home country; she had been far away as people suffered and starved, safe from all of the troubles. Still, part of her wondered what it would be like to go back, to set foot in the place where her life had begun but, she supposed, it was all relative. Her life felt like it had truly begun when she had left the country and she had found home elsewhere. She just couldn’t be too sure, unless she somehow found her way back without meaning to.

And despite all of that, she did feel the need to prompt the other woman; “You should go, maybe not to deliver a sermon, but to, at least, see how beautiful it can be. But, of course, going to help will also bring a great deal of comfort to people. Many people can speak other languages too, including English, so it seems like a worthwhile endeavour nonetheless.”

And, of course, not one to pass up on meeting a new person, of worming her way into their lives to discover as much as she could, Vika then added; “If you do feel like you want to learn, however, I’ve been told I’m a great teacher.”

[vikazielinski]

triesagain‌:

HE CAN ALREADY feel himself greatly valuing her perspective on the matter. for now, all he can do is nod along thoughtfully, reviewing the words internally. “stifling,” he echos, agreeing in discovery. “sometimes i love the uncertainty. i feel like a wild horse without the tail. they say it’s good to stay on your toes  —  keeps ya’ young.” there’s a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth when he says that, something short of reminiscing beginning to poke at his brain. “..and other times, i find myself craving some stability. you know, the spouse, the kids. a family dog for pete’s sake, sun-warm on the front lawn.” 

there’s a somewhat somber note to his pause, but his smile never quite abandons its place. “..s’hard to have any of that when you’re on the run, and often it’s hard to tell if you’re running with life or from it.” running from debt, more like. “for me, it’s always been a job thing.“ some of his father he could never quite shake off, the work ethic. it felt like ink on his skin, faded but prominent in contrast, even as he grows older. “what’s the next big career move? one factory to the next; so.. i can’t say i’ve seen much of the world in detail, though i’ve passed through so much of it.” cue a jolting chuckle, “i don’t think there’s a gas stop in america that i haven’t taken a leak in.” the following pause is entirely selfish; he just wants to take her in some more.

“it’s not all glum, i promise. i’ve seen some incredible views that some people only see in their dreams.” he finds himself really meaning that, and it feels good in his heart to have something so wonderful in his memories. “i have a hunch that your story is much more fascinating.” it’s an invitation to share more than anything else.

Though she had not been home in many years, upon his mention of stability, she felt her heart skip a beat or two; a reminder of what she had purposefully left behind while there was others who wanted what she had thrown away. Vika, however, had gotten into the habit of not allowing herself to pity; herself or others. It wasted too much of her time, time she believed to be precious. 

So, with a light shake of her head, she added; “You can find that comfort anywhere, you just have to get creative.” Though, that was easy for someone of her social class to say, she had more money than she ever knew what to do with that allowed her to find comfort wherever she went, including on this damned train. “Get yourself a dog to travel with you, get a plant to take care of. It’s not a lawn or a family pet, but it’s the next best thing.”

She listened to his words, his description of his travels, and it caused her head to drop to the side, lightly. Running seems like a good fit for it; she herself found comfort in being able to flit off anywhere she so pleased, leaving dust behind her really expensive shoes for those she made any kind of bond with to watch. Though, it wasn’t hard to note that his story was different, something about the way he spoke, how his words fit together, but she had never been one to stress over the lives of others, unless it benefited her in some way. This man, however, seemed like fun, great fun, and she wanted to make a friend in him, for better or for worse.

Her eyebrows rose slightly at his invitation, one she would take, though she was not quite done with him just yet; “You still saw something. And that is far better than seeing nothing. And gas stops can always be fun for something, I’m sure you’ve seen many different types of cars.”

And now, she took a pause, deciding what was best to start with. Her arms snaked over her chest, before crossing low on her torso and she pondered for a brief moment before finally settling on something; “Europe.”

A vague word that meant nothing without explanation and that made Vika grin, she enjoyed carrying an air of mystery to her, it was what had lead so many people to becoming her friend, all over the continent. More importantly, it was how she had first found the true definition of love, but that was something of an ache; something she let crop up in her mind extremely briefly before she pushed it down and away, never to be felt again. Though she had moved on, in some ways, the tremors still existed.

“The whole place,” she finally elaborated. “Or, maybe not the whole place, but enough of it. Though, it’s possible if you name a place, then I’ve been there. I am, of course, completely bragging about my travelling experience.” She let out a soft laugh, to show him that that was mostly a joke. Mostly. “Paris was always my favourite, lenient people who enjoy a good wine and a party. People who take you around the city and show you the best hidden spots, bakeries with the most exquisite pastries you can imagine, little hidden away villas that are beautiful. The seine is beautiful at night. When this train stops there, if nothing too bad has come from this whole.... thing, then I’ll let you in on some of the places.”

Vika felt the need to move on from that quickly, her own fear and self preservation prickling in her chest; it was odd, to finally be in a place where she knew money couldn’t buy her safety. “Greece was one of my favourites. Mmm.... but if you’re ever in Russia, take a look at the Vaganova academy; a beautiful building, but also a great ballet school. Some of the dances and shows they put on, simply beautiful.”

[vikazielinski]

thebvtler‌:

× WHEN: day one, part one × WHO: ft. vika zielinski ( @vikazielinski )

the man had been quiet so far ( a murder, so close to them all. he’d only read about crimes like these in newspapers ). he’d stayed seated down for so long the cushioned surface against his skin would become adjunct to his frame were he to remain there any longer. a brief sigh left him as he stood up. 

   “ pardon my instrusion – ” ernest asked the other – “ but would you care for a drink? i’m afraid i can’t stay still much longer. ” more on that, he feared he would go insane if he weren’t to make good use of his time (  in this case, dedicating it to making himself useful as usual ).

Her arms were crossed over her chest, her back pressed to the wall of the car; it had been commotion, commotion, commotion until they were all packed into the dining car. The jump from sudden, intense movement to having to do nothing but sit, or stand, or pace, around until they were freed, was not one Vika liked. She moved that was her thing; she hated rigidity and this was rigid. 

She longed for the movement again, for chatter that wasn’t related to what had happened -- though, the likelihood of that happening soon was very slim; it was a murder in their very train, after all -- and she could already see herself re-discovering the corners of the train she had when she had first boarded.

So, when she heard the voice, the person approaching her, she couldn’t help the relieved “oh, thank god,” that slipped out of her mouth. Perhaps inappropriate, Vika readjusted herself, pulling away from the wall and looking to him, her head dipped to the side slightly. She recognised her own inability to stay here any longer within him. It made her smile.

“You read my mind, kind sir,” she told him, lifting a hand to wag her finger in the air ever so slightly. “We’re on a moving vehicle and yet, being still is a common problem.”

Vika shook her head, hair falling around to frame her face. “A drink would be splendid right now.”

[vikazielinski]

joseyward‌:

“Now, I can’t very well say no to that,” though a part of her felt maybe she should. Her defenses were high, thanks to the body and resulting investigation on board. Still, it was hard to say no to a pretty face and a good name, even in trying times. She picked up the empty glass resting beside her, drained not even an hour ago, and offered it up for a generous pour. “Simple pleasures, after all.” 

Vika smiled, grinned at her response. In her experience, a drink or two was the best way to chill the nerves, to make any moment less tense. It was this similar greeting that had made her many friends, all over Europe. It was a bonding experience; and for those who didn’t drink, Vika had her ways of becoming their friend. It was all part of her charm. 

She lifted the decanter, pouring the liquid into the offered glass, going slow so as not to spill any as the train continued on it’s course. Generous was, indeed, the word to describe the amount she had poured and once she was done, she shifted back, plopping down into her seat. She draped one leg over the other; poured her own glass full. “Simple pleasures,” she echoed in agreement, lifting her glass in a silent toast and cheers before taking a long, overdue sip. It hit the right spot, sending a good tingle throughout her body.

“Though, I can’t say that this environment offers up any kind of pleasure; to think that we’d all end up in here because of some so... dramatic.” Clearly, not a good word to describe what was going on, but there wasn’t much else on her mind at the moment; she had no interest in trying to be proper. “Let’s hope we’re not in here for much longer, the company isn’t of my usual standards.” 

A small smirk then, “Until now, of course.”

[vikazielinski]

triesagain‌:

“THIS’LL MAKE quite the chapter, huh?” jack’s nose would be as long as the dining car if he told you he didn’t entertain the vision of a future version of himself, telling this whole ordeal as one grand story; theatrics and all. 

it might’ve stemmed from a particular, somewhat harmless selfishness, “if there’s one thing i’ve learned from hopping around the world like a jackrabbit, it’s to never rule out the unruly. life is incredibly fond of curveballs.”

She nodded, almost absentmindedly, in response to his retort, though she could have noted that this wouldn’t be the only one that could be deemed as interesting; her life seemed to have been one interesting moment after another. If she began to write it down, she was certain even the famous Victor Hugo would be shocked at how long and expansive it could be.

“You’re right,” she said, letting out a soft breath. “Though I do believe we set ourselves up for that, given how we choose to live while moving. But settling down in a life without curveballs just seems so...” She shook her head, hoping to find the right word for it. “Stifling.”

With her eyes cast on him, she tilted her head to the side like a curious child; “Do you feel comfortable sharing where you’ve been? I can return the gesture.”

[vikazielinski]

clarissahayes‌:

“Hmm?” As desperate as she was for someone to talk to, to kill the time with, she had been hoping that Ms. Zielinski would have the good graces to stay out of her way.

But alas, it appeared that she wasn’t that lucky.

“Well, I suppose. I hate to think of what this torpor would be like, with drunkards added to the mix.” Nobody wanted further mayhem, did they? The journey had barely started, and now they had this mess to contend with! “A pity that some of us here do not have the willpower to get through this in a less-than-sober state. Such a pity.”

Vika sat down, ever so slowly, into the seat facing Clarissa, her posture turning slumped in what was a clear sign of her boredom. The breath she blew out served to brush some strands of hair from her face. “Perhaps,” she drew out, her eyes on the other woman. “What everyone here needs, is a little drink. It calms the nerves and can make everyone much more fun to talk to, to be around.”

It was a barely disguised insult, and Vika gave Clarissa a smile. “Many people within this cart need the break, with something so terrible having taken place. I don’t think it’s very nice of you to assume that means they don’t have the willpower to deal with it -- perhaps, they just need the willpower to have a little fun, so they don’t have to focus on how dreadful this is.”

[vikazielinski]

charlottezhao‌:

“it certainly wouldn’t hurt to pray for either of those options,” charlotte nodded. it was comforting to hear someone reflect kindly on a church experience, especially given the circumstances. “i imagine there isn’t much we can do for charles, now. he’s either repenting, or he’s moved above. but certainly praying is better than sitting here and twiddling our thumbs.” she sighed. “where is st. nicholas?”

“I’m not the type to pray,” she admitted, and if she was allowing herself to be honest for a moment, she would also have admitted to the sneaking hint of guilt within her tone as she spoke. “But I’m certain Charles is where he’s supposed to be now, with or without our help.”

Religion had stopped being a huge part of Vika’s life some years ago. Around her neck hung the only remnant of that time; the simple golden cross. “Kiev.” she explained. “Ukraine. It’s a fairly new cathedral, actually, very beautiful. Very Roman Catholic. I would like to go back, one day, though I’m unsure of what the Father would think of me now.”