If you can't sit at their table, build your own

ENTJ. Christian. Psychology major. Live in defiance of the impossibilities no matter the consequences.

[foxhardt]

you dont have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off, and while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the babys soft cartilage head into something a little more modern.  it might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but lets see where the dog is going with this

[wizardshark]

This post is from 2013. It has less than 100 notes. Together we can revive this work of art that tragically ahead of its time. We’re ready for it now

[aropride]

people make jokes about how people who weren’t allowed to watch spongebob as a kid are always talking about how they weren’t allowed to watch spongebob but as one of the aforementioned people who wasn’t allowed to watch spongebob my insight on the matter is: you would not BELIEVE the amount of times spongebob comes up in normal adult conversations. i don’t often think about him of my own accord but people reference him and i have to say. what? and they say. it’s from spongebob?? and i say. oh i never watched spongebob. and they say why? and i say. i wasn’t allowed to. and then a few weeks later it happens again

[vamptits]

it's just really apparent that people think it's okay to want pain but morally abhorrent to want to give it. sorry but the sadist gets to have fun too. it's actually pretty crucial to the process.

[vamptits]

if I said I was going to a taekwondo class would you feel the need to tell me kicking people on the street is bad or.

[whoopsie-collective]

Image ID: A screenshot of a tumblr comment that says "yeah, its only abhorrent imo, when the recipient is non consenting, i've" the screenshot cuts off.

[dogspouse]

[um-jammer-tranny]

the girl who is trapped in my computer and phone should be trapped in my arms and bed instead

[memewhore]

[lord-kitschener]

That headline was a wild adventure from start to finish.

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

the bad sex awards are my favourite literary prize tho

[curseworm]

i dont want to live anymore

[eazzy--pink]

Her pussy tasted like anchovies and her butthole smelled like tobacco. This is what straight men think is sexy and erotic.

[boy-obsesed-barbie]

If this man is married I feel so so SO sorry for his wife…

[androxibot-deactivated20190428]

I had to put down my phone and walk around the room to calm down.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

If I had to see this Monstrous Crime then you all have to suffer with me

[brookietf]

LMAO

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

S I N

[raedmagdon]

IF I HAVE TO SEEE THIS HORROR SO DO YOU.

DON’T NOBODY EVER COMPLAIN ABOUT MY SMUT AGAIN.

[nonelvis]

In my time as fic author and fic archive mod, I have seen some terrifying porn. But the stuff that gets published is sometimes even more amazing.

[lew-basnight]

Tell me you have never actually tasted or smelled chocolate without telling me. I usually keep my blog fairly pg aside from the swearing but I have been laughing so hard at this for so long my stomach hurts

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

thinking about when my friend found a book from the 70s in a church office with truly some of the most insane prayers I have ever heard

[lasrina]

oh this was about someone specific

[glubby]

i would like a hug…. JUST KIDDING! i would like TWO hugs. (suddenly becomes cold and standoffish) i don’t need anything or anyone and i don’t want to talk about it.

[intactics]

"rickrolling is mean" rickrolling is the gentle, kind, prosocial descendant of what we used to do on the internet, which was putting a redirect to goatse in every possible misspelling of a url

[astercontrol]

Rickrolling is deceptive, but it's among the most harmless forms of deception available

in other words, it may tell a lie, but it will never tell a lie and hurt you

[cookinguptales]

this is all I’m talking about until halloween sorry i don’t make the rules

[microwaveabl]

[phineas-and-ferb-heritage-posts]

phineas and ferb heritage post

[certified-muppet-posts]

certified muppets post

[radiofreederry]

Lol

[cavegirlpoems]

I cannot stop laughing at the idea that socialism ignores humanity’s highest spiritual ideal: owning yachts.

[quietwingsinthesky]

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

[goldcrescent]

I also think that the strength gap is at least partially manufactured women would in fact be stronger overall if little girls were encouraged to do physically taxing games and activities and eat their fill while they’re growing vs having to constantly diet and be sedentary indoors (or god forbid do intense cardio while under-eating). The amount of adult women honestly afraid to lift weights bc they think they’ll get bulky as though bulking isn’t a full time job that athletes have to spend all their time on and anyone on earth gets shredded from just using their adult muscles for their intended purpose, girl your bone density 🥀

[goldcrescent]

if you say women are intentionally nerfed from birth in 2026 people look at you like you’re insane and start condescendingly telling you about how women are just better at different things (but not during their periods haha) but this was a completely basic feminist talking point I grew up with like “girls can do it too! [shot of little girls climbing and running with boys]” nickelodeon commercial tier base level I hate it how is everyone suddenly dumber than the average 7 year old

[lelif]

on nostalgia

the handmaids tale, margaret atwood// @firstfullmoon // @stigmatawife // @jb-blunk // forever winter, taylor swift// @an-attempt-at-living // the memory of a memory, katie maria // erica jong // secrets from a girl whos seen it all, lorde; poster by mlgrsdesign// ? // @n1ntendos // @fairycosmos // @inanotherunivrse //@robertszombie // @notbigthief

[hermesmoly]

Why is it always about Orpheus turning back foolishly and never about Eurydice following him out of the Underworld, likely knowing she was doomed. That Orpheus went all this way, singing the story of their love, hopeful that he will return her to the surface and finally build their life together— but they will not. She knows her Orpheus will turn back. And yet she still follows him, all the way to the top, because the simple pleasure of seeing his back again is enough for her. Isn’t that a foolish thing to do for love?

[1five1two]

[dappermouth]

i can understand the trials but were the tribulations really necessary