“If time is collective the question must be how do we collect it. When you wake up from your slumber it would be usually for the sun to have risen. When 4 am strikes and darkness is still available how do you account for the time you missed out on feeding to the darkness? Eyes all watery, smoke pouring out your mouth, you don’t know why you do it, you just do. The doctor says that an emotion last about 10 to 15 seconds and the rest is just you thinking about what it felt like to feel. You allow your self to be tied to something. Maybe it’s a someone or an action. You let it in. You let it flow. You get a little lost and all of a sudden you are one. What ever it is it was everything you could never think of. Maybe it could be her eyes and how everyone always obsesses over blue but you are the one who is drawn in by her green. There’s a million songs about blue eyes but you only know one about green. Maybe it’s that car ride. You know the one where for once in this current decade the radio actually slips up and plays a song with meaning, a song so powerful that you roll down the windows and let the in coming air fuck up your hair. Your hair and how you combed it with precise intentions. You never had instructions. That moment you stood dead in the center of the mirror flicking your comb back and forth. You don’t know how you know where to go but you go. The reflection of your very own eyes and how you fell face first in to the soul that you won’t dare admit you are. It’s not that you are ugly it’s that you were conditioned to feel so heavy. It’s that moment where you collectively collided into yourself and you expanded so quickly you didn’t know time. You could appreciate yourself with such a silence you could appreciate her. You can not tell me that she last 10 to 15 sedonds. Her laugh, oh the way she smiles and how it makes you feel like a thousand birds just came rushing from your gut. It’s the way she signs her name. Maybe it’s not even her. Maybe it’s the fact that she doesn’t exist and yet you are so fascinated by this imaginary growth. You want her too exist but it’s just a small fragment. There are other things as apparent but present. You pour it out. All the liquor down the drain. You throw it away, yes your happy bag of pot. No its not that your not down its that it’s hard to see the stars shining in a fog. Those stars died and lingered for a million years just to be seen by you but you were out there fixated on green eyes. You learned every word and swore you would tell her she’s a rock. You’d tell her upon her you’d stand. It was how the spot light would shine on her but the heavens are now above you screaming. How much time did you waste hiding from the heavens? Afraid to feel so free because 10 seconds was an iou for a heartbreak. A heartbreak you weren’t down for because you wanted to forget the time you spent on the last one. Time that you couldn’t get back. You tried to find a way to take it all back and as you did you lost more. So you draw. You draw a line into an arrow pointing away from your head because damnn it must feel heavy. You get a little tired so you take a nap. Your memories of that time will never reveal the motion picture of you temporary motionless, waking up from suspended animation on a wim. Maybe green eyes isn’t a girl. Maybe green eyes isn’t a boy. Green eyes isn’t even a person. She’s the fucking freedom you have when you collide into yourself. Don’t act like it’s over. Don’t act like she’s not there. She blows kisses to you from the sky. She is waiting for you to look up but you are on the surface level of your brain trying to find the means to organize the hour you are holding as it wastes away. You wailed Honey you are a rock. You want her to know. You’re body is shaking and those vesles that carry your blood, yeah they are showing through your skin. When it all builds up and your body tries to reject it. Rejecting it as if you hadn’t poured out your liquor. As if you could stay composed but you give. Honey you are a rock.”
— One of the most amazing combination of words, inspired by a great song. Unknown Author
