just hungry.

private / selective yellowjackets multimuse.

[violenthungers]

pinned post. indie yellowjackets multi by king.

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muses

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okay so now that s3 is over, my goal going forward will be to make icons (an undertaking) and slowly start up a queue here. i am very slow, bc i have other writing projects im dedicated to - including fanfic! - but i am always enthusiastic about the plots we develop. the best way to chat about things with me is through discord, though, as i'm always there

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i stand with my cancelled wife etc etc

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this show makes me so FERAL

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS THAT START WITH "I NEED..." *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

i need to go away for a while.

i need you to start trusting me.

i need things to go smoothly this time.

i need everyone to calm down.

i need you to stay with me.

i need to be something more than this.

i need you to listen to me.

i need you to stop talking and let me do this.

i need to tell you something serious, and it might scare you when i say it.

i need more out of this relationship than you're giving me right now.

i need a stiff drink.

i need to take a nap.

i need things to go my way for once.

i need better than you. i just didn't see that until right now.

i need answers.

i need a quick explanation.

i need at least five more minutes to finish getting ready.

i need your body against mine.

i need your tongue in my mouth.

i need you to fuck me.

i need my head to stop spinning.

i need to sit down for a second to catch my breath.

i need everyone to clear out of this room.

i need a change of clothes.

i need you to look at me when you're talking to me.

i need to leave this place and never come back.

i need to tell you something urgently.

i need you to shut up.

i need romance. i need passion.

i need you to give me more emotion.

i need your gun.

i need you to cover me.

i need this to go perfectly.

i need a win.

i need you in my life.

i need there to be more communication between us.

i need to know how you feel about me.

i need you to stop bullshitting.

i need to know if we're more than friends.

i need you. only you.

i need to get to a hospital.

i need you to put pressure on that wound.

i need you to keep talking to me.

i need more than you're willing to give me, and i think that's always going to be a problem with us.

i need someone better.

i need you to tell me what happened from start to finish.

i need to go to the bathroom.

i need a trash can.

i need someone to hold my hand.

[violenthungers]

haven't disappeared just truly well and fully sucked in to this season and hanging on by a thread - as well as having a bunch of other creative projects going on that i'm working on AND real life stuff

hopefully will get back to mssging people and lurking here soon <3 however, if you want an easier way to reach me, feel free to add me on the discos. ( antlerqueen is the user )

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i'm sweating. shauna and melissa are just so

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gonna hopefully get to some more writing here in the next couple of days, today's been one of those 'all over the place' days and i have more than a few things to get to here and elsewhere :')

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i wasn't going to do icons here but the more i think about it, the more i miss actually doing the caps / icons and stuff so that'll be an ongoing project while i try and write a lil here and there in the meantime

[elleleveutsauvage-deactivated20]

Shauna's been thinking all, pretty much all week, about where to go after today. From the day she turned sixteen she'd been saving money, and then there was the added purgatory of having to wait until she was legal to take it out without her mom jabbering at her in the passenger's seat. But the day is here, and it's been murder focusing on class, or anything really. Even running drills she's been getting mean-mugged by Tai and Nat, missing passes and step-overs because who cares? She's got a car and a license, and also who cares if it's Wednesday, they're going to sneak into the Asbury Pines and watch that movie where Kevin Costner is a fish man.

Later on in the Parking Lot after practice, she's opening the back when she shakes her head. "Randy Walsh said he drinks his own pee, so I don't have high hopes." Shouldering her gym bag to put it in the wayback before she grabs Jackie's to do the same, Shauna turns, remembering something. "Oh, Mom's working over tonight, so I don't have curfew really, if you want to, you know, hang at your place after."

@feminaferitas @violenthungers

[feminaferitas]

Jackie's parents were probably going to get her a car for graduation, meaning she'd actually have to get a license, even if she had Shauna and Jeff to give her rides in the meantime. Plus, if the girls were both going to Rutgers together, she'd continue to ride shotgun in the Ship-mobile and chip in for gas or something.

But Jackie can see how excited Shauna is about it -- it's no secret she doesn't love having to slum it in Jeff's backseat, but... whatever. Needs must, and all that.

She's standing by as Shauna lovingly loads their bags into her adorable little Ford and Jackie's sort of half listening, thinking about Kevin Costner and how she's totally going to be watching her best friend's reactions for most of the movie anyways. That made it more fun. "Jesus Christ, Shipman," the girl laughs with a toss of her ponytail. "I thought you were talking about Randy there for a sec. Like, I knew he was dire, but... Whatever. I'm not really watching for the plot."

Jackie watches the rest of the team file off after practice, catching a look from Tai that she returns with a shrug. Misty is clinging to Coach Ben to talk... logistics or schematics or something, and she spies Lottie and a few others waiting for their rides. She turns her focus back on Shauna. "Ooh, flying solo for the night! Yeah, yeah, we can crash at mine. I told Jeff to stay busy tonight, and I think my mom's got a Bunco game to go to anyhow, so she won't be back until after dinner. We can pick something up on the way home?"

@violenthungers @elleleveutsauvage

[violenthungers]

It wasn't often that she felt like she needed to rely on her parents to pick her up after practice - usually Lottie would catch a ride with any of the other girls and ask to be dropped off by their parents. It's how she was able to get so close to well, only Laura Lee at this point. But her mother and father had reassured her that they would swing by the school after practice. So she'd told Laura Lee and her mom that it was okay.

And now here she sits, leg shaking, wondering if maybe he's just late. Or if he forgot. She considers, for a brief moment, walking inside the school and asking to borrow the secretary's phone - but that makes warmth flush up her neck in embarrassment.

Across the way she sees Shauna and Jackie (Jackie and Shauna, always a pair, always glued together; Lottie's heart aches in jealousy and want — wouldn't it be nice if she had that?) and before she can convince herself not to, she's up and walking over. Her bag weighs heavily on her shoulder, and she slings across to the other, trying not to drop it or clench at the hands too hard.

"Hey, uhm." She clears her throat, trying to get Shauna's attention. "Sorry, I—" Lottie had heard the last little bit. They had plans, because. Well. Of course. Why wouldn't they? She swallows, grimaces, doesn't want to be a burden - doesn't want to intrude. But.. it's this or walk. And walking will probably still happen, even with asking. "I don't think my dad's coming. Could I.. get a ride home?"

[violenthungers]

that whole episode made me sweat because of stress for like twenty minutes straight holy FUCK

[feminaferitas]

closed starter for @violenthungers (shauna) set a few days after the hunt at Lottie's compound

The last time they were together in the semblance of a team, the tower crumbled quickly under Jackie's feet. The wilderness had freed them from the veneer of social structure and what little influence she'd held as their team captain was quickly cannibalized by fear, anger, and ambition. (And eventually they had, like, actually cannibalized people.) Since the rescue, she had done well for herself, to build some sort of stability in a world that didn't recognize the shape of them anymore.

Not quite girls, not quite animals. They called them survivors, willing to overlook the unseen parts of them that died out there, pretense first among them.

Jackie should have known that the next time they tried to act as a team, all the jagged edges of these broken women would leave everyone with new, aching wounds. A few days since Camp Green Pine closed and she can see her bruises take the shape of Shauna Shipman -- no, not Shipman, Sadecki.

Still, she finds herself at her former best friend's door and finds herself bend, bowed, and forced back into a shape like the girl she used to be. The version of Jackie that's long dead and gone.

A knock at the door with her left hand -- the right still aches from the cold and the lingering scar of painful memories -- and she stands waiting. Two cups of coffee, she hopes, pay the toll for a long overdue conversation.

[violenthungers]

The aftermath of Camp Green Pine is not a pretty one. Nothing sacred of whole about letting the past rear it's ugly head once more, shaping into something formed by the psychosis of a teammate who is clearly struggling. And yet, still, the memory of the queen card in her hands has makes her fingers shake -- but she refuses to fucking call herself scared in any sense of the word.

She has real shit to worry about. A husband and a daughter, for fuck's sake.

A daughter who, really, should be way more damaged thanks to her own influence -- but is somehow.. normal? Ish? Shauna rolls her eyes at herself, and starts to move to go upstairs to raid said daughter's bedroom for contraband when there's a knock.

Another roll of her eyes and she practically stomps like a petulant 40-something year old child towards it -- and nearly shuts it in the face of who's behind it.

Her fingers curl at the door, gripping tightly until the tips of her fingers ache with the effort of keeping it together.

"Jackie." At first she doesn't notice the coffee, intensely focused on the sight of her eyes, too expressive, too open, too fucking easy to take the wrong step and fall into all over again. There isn't another word, but she steps forward, and closes the door behind her.

It's then she notices the cups, and starts to reach, but stops. "We'll walk around back."

[elleleveutsauvage-deactivated20]

@violenthungers asked: ❛ you're not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜ (my lottie, your shauna)

Shauna slides the knife along the space where the leg hits the hip, groaning with the effort of lifting the haunch long enough to slip the blade into the joint and lash it back and forth enough to sever. It takes longer than she wants it to and so by the end of too many seconds she instead stands, wrenching it the rest of the way free with all the pop and stretch that draws nearby passing and judgemental eyes, visceral noises that she doesn't get the luxury of being grossed out by. Shauna spares those nearby only a look of contempt before she slams the haunch of meat onto the makeshift table for trimming.

She rolls her eyes at Lottie's sudden reassurance. "I don't give a fuck what anybody else here thinks of me," her voice slithers out the lie as she turns back to her work.

[violenthungers]

Everyone else isn't watching so much as passively glancing. Lottie, though, is standing near the table Shauna's decided to use as her butcher block. There are pieces of meat already hacked apart while she's hands deep in a joint.

The groans behind her don't even make Lottie move or flinch, gaze settled solidly on Shauna's hands. They were once able to give her relief, and she wants to return the favor.

"I know." Her voice is soft, barely audible enough for anyone else to hear. "I still want you to hear it. If from no one else, then from me." Lottie sways on her feet, but doesn't make a move to reach for anything to steady herself.

[violenthungers]

“  whatever it is you’re struggling with,  i want to help and it’s not going to make me look at you any different.  ” - van to lottie

The spring air felt different on her skin. It clung to her, it's heat enveloping her and wrapping her in its sticky, sweaty embrace. It was nice, though, if Lottie stopped to think about it for a moment - it reminded her of the times before, when she didn't need to rely on someone else ingesting ground up mushrooms steeped in warm water.

He was off somewhere now, anyways, avoiding her. Maybe for good reason. He was scared, but Lottie understood. She was scared to begin with, too. Hearing It and letting It in meant opening yourself up to a different sort of darkness out here. Hungry and raw, just like the rest of them had been for months.

She takes in a deep breath and looks up at her scarred, sunburnt friend. When she blinks, it's slow, as if she hadn't quite heard her. They'd been talking for a bit now, but Lottie's mind had wandered, as it so often seems to do these days.

But she hums in acknowledgement all the same. There's something akin to longing in her expression as she looks up into the leaves above them, casting them in a beautiful shady green.

"I don't think that's true." She finally says, shaking her head. For a while, it was always Van at her side - right there, defending her and what she'd heard. But now? "I believe you'd try. Which counts for something." Even her voice sounds tired to her own ears - exhausted from laying awake in her hut searching and yearning for a whisper or a vision to come.

[leneemusing]

PROMPTS   FOR   THE   HEAVY   HEARTED

the burdened:

“  being alive is exhausting.  ”

“  i ruin everything i touch.  ”

“  no one ever helped me when i needed it.  so,  i just.  try to do my best to keep others from feeling that kind of loneliness.  ”

“  i feel like the pain is all i am anymore. ”

“  i wish i remembered anything other than loneliness.  ”

“  i’m not a particularly good person.  but sometimes i wish someone would think i am.  ”

“  i’m just always the one who gets left behind.  ”

“  i never seem to belong anywhere.  or to anyone.  ”  

“  i’m alone.  and it’s my own fault.  but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.  ”

“  i don’t know how to just live.  i constantly feel like i’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.  ”

“  i always expect people to hurt me.  because they usually do. ”

“  i don’t know how to let go of my trauma.  i don’t know what i am without it.   ”

“  it’s better if i’m alone.  i can’t hurt anyone if there’s no one close enough to get hit by the debris of my fuck ups.  ”

“  there are just too many people depending on me.  i can’t rest.  i can’t let them down.  ”

“  i don’t have anything or anyone left anymore.  ”

“  i’m not strong.  or brave.  i survive ‘cause there’s not really any other choice. ”

“  i tried to give up before.  but the universe just didn’t let me.  ”

“  i just want to be done.  i’m tired.  i’m so,  so fucking tired.  ”

“  i know it’s selfish.  but i wish someone would just take care of me.  ”

“  every time i start to feel like things are getting quieter and i can feel safe,  something bad always happens.  ”

“  i tend to love people more than they love me.  and it’s okay.  i don’t mind but…it can be lonely.  ”

“  i just don’t feel like my life makes any difference to anyone.  i’m just here.  ”

the comforter: 

“  hey,  look at me.  i’m listening.  you can tell me anything. ”

“   how can i help you feel less alone?  ”

“  i’m here and i’m not leaving or letting you change the subject.  now talk to me. ”

“  i know you feel like you’re alone and i’m not going to invalidate that.  but i can tell you that i’m here.  and i know there are people who want to care and help if you’ll let them.  ”

“  whatever it is you’re struggling with,  i want to help and it’s not going to make me look at you any different.  ”

“   i like having you around.  and not because of what you can do for me or give to me—  i like you.  i value you as a person.  ”

“   i just need you to know that you’ve never been ‘nobody’ to me.  you’ve never been nothing.  ”

“   you’re important to me.   you hear me?  you’re important.  and that’s never gonna change.   ”

“  i’m not going anywhere until you get some sleep.  ”

“  i want to take care of you.  please,  let me.  ”

“  no one is meant to be all alone.  that’s not how humans are built.  you don’t need to do all this on your own.   ”

“  you don’t deserve the bad things that happen to you.  you never did.  ”

“  i can’t promise you aren’t going to have any more hardship.  but i can promise i’m gonna be right here to get your through it. ”

“  you make a difference in my life.  i’m not just saying that.  it wouldn’t be the same without you here and i don’t want to find out what it’d be like to not have you around. ”

“  next time it gets this bad,  you call me okay?  now you just sit there and i’m gonna make you some tea and soup and we’re gonna talk this out. ”

“   is it getting bad again?  ”

“   you are so much stronger and braver than you think.  ”

[violenthungers]

foaming at the mouth thinking about the parallels between lottie and root from poi like oh god oh fuck oh damn

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I HAVEN'T EVEN WRITTEN ANYTHING HERE YET BUT THOSE EPISODES WERE SO GOOD.

i'm legimately feral about them and i have so many fucking thoughts. shauna pookie baby murderer ilysm