Violetta

🔞 | 26 | She/her | Mostly sapphic | Kinky Well I guess I'm using this blog as a journal to write down interesting stuff I find while I explore hypnokink

[violetta-was-here]

I thoroughly recommend the Mindless Matters podcast, especially the episode on fractionation. Nothing else has left me quite so mind fucked, even tho it is basically not even that directly aimed at the listener.

[violetta-was-here]

It seems that the more I explore hypno kink via static audio files, text, or even not directly hypnotic smut, the easier I drop for those mediums. It's gotten to a point where if I read hypno smut, even the kind which is not intended to drop the reader at all, I'll still feel at least a mild urge to follow along with the instructions. In one HDG story the Affini told their pet to sleep after fucking around with hypno, and I just kinda decided "you know what, I'm kinda sleepy, why don't i take a nap" and slept for idk, at least 15-30 minutes or so.

BUT, none of this seems to translate into doing stuff with other people. No matter what people have tried in person with me, i seem to stay wide awake, maybe even less suggestible than usual. I assume i just need to practice irl stuff, and over time it will start to work more, but yeah idk, i felt a little disappointed. I had hoped that in person stuff for me would just work, and so far it has been the opposite.

[violetta-was-here]

Had kind of an interesting experience with a file yesterday, I think possibly one of the first times that I have been hypnotized enough that a slight misswording of a suggestion actually affected me, rather than going with the intent of the suggestion. Possibly past times was just me roleplaying if I was able to ignore specific wording? Idk I still don't fully know if I understand hypnosis/trance all the way.

But yeah, there was a part in this file instructing the listener to touch themselves, but the way it was worded specified 'a hand', not 'hands'. As a result I only followed along with one hand. Nothing else about the file implied that the author intended the listener to only use one hand and it was never pointed out again. There was a clear part of me that was arguing that clearly the instruction just meant to touch oneself, and the one hand part was an oversight/semantics, but yet the part of me that was actually deciding what to do only used one hand. Could I have used both hands if I wanted to? Honestly, I don't know. I had an active part of me telling me I should use both, and another (horny) part of me complaining that my boobs need attention too. I was alone in my room, and no one would have known if I used both hands. If this was not enough to get me to break then I genuinely don't see what could...

Anyway i guess I'm getting more and more certain that I am getting hypnotized and not just roleplaying the role of a subject.

[violetta-was-here]

Did Test Hypno Game1 by @h-sleepingirl today, twice. So spoilers for that. The first time i don't think i got very deep and when my body's reactions did not match the reactions the game was saying I was feeling it took me out of it even further. Did it a second time, 4 or 5 hours later, this time in the dark (like physically in a dark room) and all the way through. I think it sort of worked. I was choosing to go along with what the game was telling me to do, but i was going along with it. Even at the end where it was counting me out, i could have just skipped that and stopped being in trance, but i didn't, I went with the numbers and even lingered for a while on each to... idk, but i did linger on each until it felt right. It is an interesting feeling, the feeling of I could snap out of this, I'm just choosing not to, while not actually being 100% sure I could choose to snap out of it. I don't think i went quite as deep as the game seemed to think most players would, but it was still a good experience. I was also wet AF by the end and had multiple moments of the game telling me something feels good and it physically feeling good (also many that did not, but this second time around that did not take me out of it quite so much). Especially near the end, when the game was instructing people to go deeper, feel the mind melt, overwhelmingly good, etc. I loved the imagery, but i don't think my brain knew what sensations it was supposed to experience and just kinda idled. I will also say that while most people say the feelings from hypnosis feel distinct from sub space feelings, I'm not sure that was the case for me. It's possible that due to my lack of experience my brain was plugging in the closest approximations that it knew for the feelings it thought it was supposed to be feeling. Still, lots of spontaneous smiles throughout, and I think i even, to some extent, managed to get myself back into trance after a cat decided to park her fat ass in front of the screen for a minute. There was a thought that i could move her out of the way, but in the end I just kinda sat and waited and eventually she moved. Again not sure if that was a "i can't actually get myself to move and just think i can" or my conscience mind just telling me "if you start moving and the cat starts meowing you'll take yourself out of it all the way". I think the latter, but fun to imagine it was the first one. One thing that often takes me out of various hypno stuff is swallowing saliva. I would love to drool all over myself but my mind does not let me, and swallows it down. Usually swallowing takes me out of it, but not this time around. Also enjoyed reading the breakdown of the script, I had caught onto some of what the game was doing while playing it, but seeing the amount of detail and thought that went into everything was great.

As a follow up to this. That night there were multiple times where it felt like I woke up (or was sleeping very lightly) in a partial trance. Mumbling 'yes' to myself did make me feel good. Or at least i dreamed that it did.