Fire and Ice are laying in the grass, gazing at the stars.
“I feel like my life is just filler.”
“Yeah, actually. Like an anime. I think I view a lot of my life through the lens of television because that’s essentially been my entire life.”
“I feel like my entire life as of late has been filler episode after filler episode after filler episode. The plot hasn’t advanced in like 5 years. And like, there are really good filler episodes. You can remove it from the series and it would have no effect, but they’re still some of my favorite episodes. But that doesn’t change the fact that they’re filler. There’s no substance. Nothing is fucking happening.”
“... I think that’s just a mindset thing. Like I think you just need to change your outlook. Cause there isn’t a storyline to life it just meanders around and then ends suddenly. So why not make those little moments as enjoyable as possible?”
“No, I’m enjoying the moments, it just feels like… I don’t know how to describe it. I enjoy the moments very thoroughly but they just… don’t matter. Nothing I do matters.”
“Well nothing matters at all, but that’s why our lives and actions are so important.”
“Is that all I am? My actions? What counts as an action? Most of my life so far has been spent thinking thoughts and if all that matters is my actions then I’ve spent most of my life doing something totally inconsequential.”
“Again, I think it’s a mindset thing. We already know that nothing matters, so the good feelings come from creating meaning. You can’t be like ‘Nothing matters, and therefore these thoughts and things matter even less’ that makes no sense. You gotta make the small things have meaning, and then you can start working on finding happiness.”
“Jesus, you sound like my dad.”
“Maybe your dad is wiser than you think.”
“No, I know he’s very wise. It’s just that usually his brand of wisdom falls flat on my weird brain.”
“Well I still think you gotta futz with your attitude towards the world. Shit’s wack right now.”
“Do you ever worry that these deep philosophical conversations we have are in reality really immature?”
“I worry that no actual adult thinks these things. Or even worse, that an adult would think these conversations were sophomoric.”
“I also worry that one day a story beat is going to occur and I’m gonna miss it because I thought it was just a particularly good filler episode.”
“What if a super important plot beat already happened and I just thought it was a beach episode?”
“What if these plot points are happening to me all the time and I never notice them at all?”
“How do I make episodes distinct?”
“Have I been living my life wrong?”
“You should talk to your therapist about this. I’m afraid I’m going to give you bad advice.”
Fire and Ice stare into the abyss together. They blink at the same time.
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