What I Learned From All of My Hookups in 2025
2024 was the sluttiest year I've ever had. My body count was the highest it's ever been. That was in part to going to more bathhouses in one year than ever before, which of course leads to more hookups. I started off 2025 aiming to have a lower body count than the year before, but I don't even know if this year is that much less. I hooked up a lot. I had one heartbreaking situationship early in the year, which led me to embrace being slutty for the rest of the year.
Every dick that enters my body teaches me a new lesson...here's What I Learned From All of My Hookups in 2025.
I'M STARTING TO REGRET BLOCKING GUYS
I've always been quick to delete, block, and erase any man that wastes my time. If a man is treating me disrespectfully by not honoring plans, ignoring me, or doesn't want the same type of connection I want, then he's useless to me. He's clearly not that into me if he thinks any of that behavior is ok. I started the year with a great hookup while on a work trip in Philadelphia, and he flaked on seeing me again. He apologized the next day, but I still blocked him. He shouldn't have told me he wanted to see me again, if he didn't plan on actually seeing me again. So he deserved to get blocked, but on the other hand...it was just a hookup. We both were on work trips. We live in different parts of the country. So it's not like we were going to be anything serious, but I did like him a lot. So it hurt he flaked. I guess there's a sadness in that the bridge is burned since I blocked him, but also he burned the bridge by flaking on me. As I get older I realize that I don't have unlimited options with guys in my type in the gay community, so if I block every guy that wastes my type...I may run out of options.
2. THE BIGGEST CITY IN THE COUNTRY BARELY HAS ANY CUTE GUYS
It still baffles me how disappointing the selection of men in NYC is. It's NYC. It's the greatest city on earth. It's the biggest city in the country. Yet I could go out to a bar, and not find a single guy in the packed room to be cute. WTF. NYC continuously disappointed me with men online and in person. I love NYC, but I don't like the men there.
3. I'M MOST SEXUALLY COMPATIBLE WITH SCORPIOS
NYC wasn't completely awful. I had 2 Scorpio FWBs that I always had a great time with. I'd hooked up with Hobo Bear and Scorpio Teacher before I moved to NYC, so they were already established lovers. I still always had a great time with both. We could have passionate sex, while also talking openly about life, and they'd feed me and fuck me. It was the perfect FWB situation with both. I couldn't ever see myself dating either one of them, but they are both some of the best FWBs I've ever had. Maybe Scorpios best match is another Scorpio.
4. I LOVE CHICAGO MEN, BUT THEY ALWAYS END UP HATING ME
I fell in love with a man this year, and it ended up a disaster. It started off as a disaster, since I was in a love triangle with 2 Ares. One was supposed to come to Chicago from London and be my Valentine, and ghosted me. I ended up hooking up with another guy my first night in Chicago, and we ended up spending nearly 2 weeks together. I did end up catching feelings for Ares, only for us eventually to end things for stupid reasons. Honestly he ended it, but apparently I fucked up because I made an Ares feel like a 2nd option. Even though I always wanted him more. Ugh. i do regret how things ended. I do miss this man. Ares was the first guy I actually "loved" in years. Since my last Chicago lover broke my heart. I still want to move to Chicago, since I seem to do well with men there, but it always ends terribly with them hating me.
5. I DO PREFER BARS WITH DARK ROOMS
Most of the time we go to the bar/club hoping to find a man to hookup with. So when the bar already has a dark room there, you can get the hooking up in without having to go far out of your way to someone else's place. I do love a dark room, since ultimately I go out hoping to hookup. So the dark room just helps eliminate a few steps.
6. HOOKING UP WITH A ROOMMATE ISN'T SO BAD
I've always swore up and down that it's a terrible idea to hookup with your roommate. It can get messy. I also never imagined hooking up with my roommate, but it happened while in NYC. Granted I knew I wasn't going to be in that apartment much longer, so maybe that's why I didn't care. I did get lucky with my new random roommate being a DL big beefy guy in the army who popped up on my Grindr. We hooked up a few times, but even roommates can be flaky and inconsistent. So that's the worst part is if you're getting flaked on by the guy whose bedroom is next to yours.
7. I LOVE WHEN THE DL TAKES THE CONDOM OFF
I love getting bred raw, and having condomless sex. I also think it's so sweet when the DL married guys/guys in relationships want to use a condom since it shows they actually do care about their wife/babymama/girlfriend by attempting to be safe. Even though they're still lying/cheating. I also love when they take the condom off to fuck me raw, since it shows they trust me/like me enough to go raw. It's a fucked up mentality, but cheating is still fucked up, and so is hooking up with taken men.
8. NYC MADE ME DESPERATE FOR DICK
Hooking up in NYC isn't easy...if you have standards. Eventually those standards start to get worn down due to all the flakes, disappointments, rejections on dating apps. It creates more reliance on going to seedy cruising bars, or random hookups with guys I'm not that into, and other hookups that ultimately I probably shouldn't have done. But I'm on PrEP and DoxyPeP so thankfully there's not really any consequences of pointless hookups to regret.
9. SNIFFIES HAS TAKEN OVER AS THE BEST GAY APP
I was so skeptical of joining Sniffies at first, but now I barely ever use Grindr, Jack'd, or Scruff anymore. When I moved to NYC I had all the paid versions of all of them, but now they're all useless. I don't even pay for them anymore, and the unpaid versions barely allow you to see any profiles. Sniffies has proven way more useful with getting dick.
10. DON'T FORGET TO ASK THE WHITE MAN AT THE BLACK CLUB HIS STATUS
I met a cute white boy at the black gay club in the dark room. We ended up leaving together and he bred me in a park. He even paid for my Uber home. It was sweet. Then I googled him, and found an article of him giving an interview about being a poz artist. Fuck my life. As much of I've been pozphobic, espeically against the black gays, how could I have been so reckless to not ask this white man his status first. Granted it's always awkward asking in a dark room, since it's not private. I also don't want to have someone announce their status for the entire room. I always have caution when dealing with black men since 50% of the black gays have HIV (according to the CDC). Though it makes sense the white men after black men would more likely have HIV too if they're mainly getting with a population of men that are more likely to have HIV. Whatever. I'm on PrEP. So I'm safe, but won't make that mistake again.
11. I LOVE QUICK CUMMERS
People hate on guys who cum too quick, but I think it's cute. So many guys have ED from too much masturbation, and they take forever to cum. So when a guy can cum as soon as you touch his dick, it's nice their dick still works. I've only experienced this with white men this year though. As soon as I start sucking then they are ready to cum instantly.
12. I'M OPEN TO ALL RACES AGAIN
NYC made me open to all races. I grew up open to all races, but black. Then I went to all black men men only after living in Atlanta. Now I'm open. Like not just sexually. I'm open to dating all races. I have better experiences with black men in terms of taking me seriously to date, but I also have worse experiences with black men when it comes to them having their shit together. Regardless...I like men of all races, so I am keeping my options open. I see too many examples of black gays complaining about too many black gays dating interracially, yet most of those black gays saying they only like black men are alone. I don't want to be alone, and I won't let myself end up alone thinking I need to stay loyal to black men, when black men stay loyal to no one.
13. LATINO MEN LOVE FACETUNE
I got catfished real bad in NYC. Granted I didn't mind since I like fat guys, so him being fatter than his pics wasn't a turn off. It turned me on. But his face looked nothing like his photos. WTF. Granted his pics looked too hot to be true, and turns out they were. I'm noticing this way more often lately, especially amongst latino men. If the photos seem too hot to be real, they probably are.
14. DALLAS IS MY NEW FAVORITE HO-CATION CITY
I'm obsessed with Dallas. I'd never been until last year, but now I've been 4 times. I have an amazing time every time. I always get a lot of dick. Dallas has so many sexy men. Dallas has my favorite bathhouse. I love Dallas. If it wasn't for Texas politics, I'd consider moving there. For now, I'll just enjoy visiting as much as possible, since I always leave satisfied.
13. I'M PRO PALESTINE, BUT ALSO LIKE ISRAELI DICK
I try not to get too political, especially concerning politics of other countries. Still what's happening in the Middle East with Palestine and Israel is disgusting. Yet, I still hooked up with an Israeli man I met at the club and it was amazing.
14. BEING A LOT LIZARD IS FUN
I first learned the term lot lizard on the defunct blog D-Listed. He'd always talk about trashy truck stop sluts, but he made them seem glamorous in a trashy slutty way. I've always kinda had a trucker fetish/fantasy, and I finally fulfilled that fantasy hooking up in the back of a guy's 18 wheeler while he was stopped nearby for a delivery. It was hot.
15. I'M TOO OLD TO HOST AT MY PARENTS HOUSE
Since I was a teenager I'd sneak guys into my parents house to hookup. I've gotten a lot of dick in their basement. It was always fun, and I guess maybe a thrill in it. But now I'm too old for that. There's too many crazies out here. I'd rather just go to a guy's house, or get a hotel room. Plus I almost got caught the last time I did it.
16. GAYS REALLY DO LOWER THEIR STANDARDS FOR DL MEN
NYC felt like a hopeless place, but I miss it compared to being back in my hometown. There's nothing but DL men that can't host around here. I ended up hooking up with a high school drop out, with a baby mama/gf, that works at a dollar store. WTF. I can do way better than that. Blowing him in the park made me question my life choices and what I'm doing. I can't be this desperate for dick. Plus he was short. He goes against all my standards, but gays get desperate for dick and don't care about standards as much anymore. Especially when it comes to getting with DL trade.
17. I GOTTA EMBRACE THE DL DADDIES
I've been way more into daddies this year than ever before. I've been with a lot of older white daddies this year. Granted where I'm living, that's what's mostly around. I'm getting older, so I guess it's natural I'm embracing older men. Granted I've been with older men in the past, but that was maybe like once a year. I've gotten with a lot of older guys this year, and I liked it. I even watch way more daddy porn than ever before. It's interesting how age and environment change preferences. While in suburbia orgies and sex parties are surprisingly the best way to hookup, and there's a lot of DL white daddies at these gatherings. Including some with monster cocks.
18. INDIANAPOLIS LEFT ME SATISFIED
I wasn't expecting Indianapolis to be my favorite work trip of the year, but it was. It was also only a one night work trip, but I feel like I did a lot. Well it was my first time in Indiana so I got to check that state off my list of states I've been to. I went to their bathhouse, and it was newly renovated and really nice. So I got to check their bathhouse off my list and add it to my bathhouse tour. I also got dick, and the guy was really cute. I also got dick the next day too, and enjoyed great food, and explored the city. I'd definitely visit Indianapolis again.
19. EVEN THE HOST OF THE SEX PARTY NEEDS TO ENJOY THEMSELVES
Hosting a sex party is like hosting any other type of gathering. You need to treat every guest with the same amazing welcoming hospitality. Make sure everyone is enjoying themselves and having a great time. While also making sure everything is running smoothly. Still...I want dick too. So it's good to find that balance. Of hosting, while also enjoying.
20. I'M BECOMING LESS OF A CHUBBY CHASER
I am starting to like more beefy-fit guys than big chubs. I like men with muscles and fat, not just fat. Living in NYC definitely started this change, and seeing all the hot muscled up Dominicans at the gym. I am starting to enjoy hookups more with muscle guys than chubs.
21. THE MIDWEST HAS A LOT OF NICE BATHHOUSES
I hated that NYC didn't have a bathhouse. I hate that Philly and DC's bathhouses don't have pools/hot tubs. The Midwest bathhouses like in Indianapolis and Columbus are full scale bathhouses. Well Indianapolis didn't have a hot tub, but Columbus had everything. Plus I got some great Nigerian dick while there too.
22. THE GAY FOR PAY LATINO STRIPPERS ALWAYS GET ME
Once a year, I'll blow hundreds of dollars on the gay for pay Latino strippers at the club in NYC. I only do it once a year. I don't regret it. I enjoyed myself. I had a good time.
23. LA IS MOST ENJOYABLE NOT ON WORK TRIPS
I don't hookup much on my work trips in LA. Maybe it's because I'm staying downtown, and that's not a popular area. It's hard to host downtown since there's no parking, and guys in LA want to host and not travel. I went to the bathhouse and it was so old and outdated. I had the most fun in LA when I was there for 2 days, 2 years ago, than both times I've been to LA and spent 2 weeks there. LA gays, like NYC gays, just don't seem to be my vibe.
24. THE HOST SHOULD GET THE HOTTEST GUYS
Sex parties are awkward. No matter how many you've been to. Yet as the host you have to make the men comfortable. Plus the host gets the best scope of everyone. It is harder to indulge in the festivities, since the host has to collect the money, protect everyone's belongings, greet everyone, etc...but I still manage to enjoy myself and suck and get fucked by the hottest attendees.