vitrola.

"vitrola: an apparatus for reproducing sound from records."

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Rivers of darkness

What if I kept going? What if I don't get off tonight? What if I ride this to the edges, through the darkness to the light?

Could I find you there?

What if there's no answer, we're all just hearts that have to fight Through the dangers of the rapids Through the darkness to the light  

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Where'd all the time go?

Where'd all the time go? It's starting to fly. See how the hands go, waving goodbye. And you know I get so forgetful when I look in your eyes. Now she's walking backwards through a parade and I'm stuck in the shadow blocking the shade, and there ain't no way to sweep up the mess that we've made. There's nothing to keep you from falling in love; it starts at the bottom and comes from above like pieces of a puzzle, like a hand in a glove. She gets dressed up like a pillow, so she's always in bed. Flowers for the sick and dead, she's on the go way too fast and way too slow. She'll turn to stone at hospitals and funeral homes, and when the fog rises somebody sighs who is not in disguise anymore. And when the tide rises, somebody sinks and is gone in the blink of an eye.

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They say storms are rife for summertime

You want to leave me, baby, be my guest All I'm going to do is cry And then I'm gonna find me someone else And tear the stars out of the sky Baby you're too well read, baby you're too well spoken Baby you're too pristine

When I cry, do you feel anything?

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1996

I had no cares in the 1990s, I knew of no downfalls, Though war was breaking out all around me, My concerns were prank calls She kissed me on the cheek right in front of the older kids, When our self belief wasn't scarred by the modern itch. Because now it feels like we kiss with one eye on our T.V. set, And the more I give, the less I get, Needing fairground rides just to spark her smile, There's little here to miss, bring back 1996 So hard to beat those teenage kicks, Bring back 1996 We were cloning sheep in the 1990s, we were building telescopes, And sugar filled the whole of my body as I urged it on to grow. I kissed her on the cheek , just to impress the older kids, But my self belief wasn't lost in the modern glitch. Stop talking, I need a lover, not a friend tonight, I'm leaving, I'm not cut out for the modern life.

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Recovery

Blacking in and out in a strange flat in East London Somebody I don't really know just gave me something To help settle me down and to stop me from always thinking about you And you know your life is heading in a questionable direction When you're up for days with strangers and you can't remember anything Except the way you sounded when you told me you didn't know what I should do. It's a long road up to recovery from here, a long way back to the light. A long road up to recovery from here, a long way to making it right. And I've been waking in the morning just like every other day And just like every boring blues song I get swallowed by the pain And so I fumble for your figure in the darkness just to make it go away. But you're not lying there any longer and I know that that's my fault

So I've been pounding on the floor and I've been crawling up the walls And I've been dipping in my darkness for serotonin boosters, Cider and some kind of smelling salts. And on the first night we met you said "Well darling, let's make a deal. If anybody ever asks us, let's just tell them that we met in jail." And that's the story that I'm sticking to like a stony-faced accomplice

But tonight I need to hear some truth if I'm ever getting through this. Yeah you once sent me a letter that said "If you're lost at sea, Close your eyes and catch the tide my dear and only think of me."

Well darling now I'm sinking and I'm as lost as lost can be And I was hoping you could drag me up from down here towards my recovery. If you could just give me a sign, just a subtle little glimmer. Some suggestion that you'd have me if I could only make me better. Then I would stand a little stronger as I walk a little taller, all the time. Because I know you are a cynic but I think I can convince you. Yeah, cause broken people can get better if they really want to. Or at least that's what I have to tell myself if I am hoping to survive! It's a long road up to recovery from here, a long way back to the light. A long road up to recovery from here, a long way to making it right.

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Domestic Bliss

I see the bruise, I see the truth, I see what he's been doing to you Blood on the shoes, what's his excuse? He says he’s doing some new kung fu You always use his bullshit excuse but I see what he's been doing to you

Why'd you put up with that shit? Why'd you go back for that kiss? Maybe it tastes like him when you got tears in your lips He got balloons, new flowers too Last one's dying in your bedroom Domestic bliss I know how bad you wanted it

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But all my lovers turn to friends

And I'm in London singing 'If it Be Your Will' again. When the time came for speaking my mind it was gone

I miss my childhood house where my heart slowed down I could take control of myself there Since our childhood homes are apartments, though, I've been finding I don't feel the same way now.

The garden's overgrown, is the fact of the matter And now it's just a field behind the house Where the creepers kinda swallow the light Where you wait for a talking snake, for a calendar date, something you can rely on You can steady the scale with my heart in a pail if I'm wrong

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Class of 2013

Mom, I'm tired Can I sleep in your house tonight? Mom, is it alright if I stay for a year or two? Mom, I’ll be quiet It would be just to sleep at night And I’ll leave once I figure out how to pay for my own life too Mom, would you wash my back? This once, and then we can forget And I’ll leave what I’m chasing for the other girls to pursue Mom, am I still young? Can I dream for a few months more?

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Hold on to your friends

A bond of trust has been abused Something of value may be lost Give up your job Squander your cash - be rash Just hold on to your friends

There are more than enough to fight and oppose Why waste good time fighting the people you like Who would fall defending your name?

Don't feel so ashamed to have friends

But now you only call me when you're feeling depressed When you feel happy I'm so far from your mind My patience is stretched, my loyalty vexed You're losing all of your friends

Hold on to your friends Resist or move on, be mad, be rash Smoke and explode, sell all of your clothes Just bear in mind: There just might come a time When you need some friends

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Open your heart

And when it hurts you know They love to tell you how they warned you They say, "Don't be surprised at someone's lies"

They think they taunt you but if you can stand the test You know your worst is better Than their best

And so you stand here with the years ahead potentially calling With open heart or with a spirit dead, you walk on

Love is the reason, faith or treason playing a part End concealing, try revealing, open your heart

Dare to feel, take the chance, make the deal

Being an island, shying from trying Seems the easy way But there's no future Without tears

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vitrolinhas

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Ontario Gothic

I was trapped under concrete Built from the memory of all the daydreams That I buried underneath Now find me a way to divide all of the noise on the other side We'll change where we live in the fall Soon it will feel like nothing is wrong

And I could see who I should be Through a past that casts it shadow down over me In empty fields on summer nights I feel the flashing lights Teeth clenched in moonlight A limitation, want to ignite, reset my biology The imitation, the apology And I felt just like a child I'm taking it all from the other side Driving with you in your car The home that I know seems so far Spring, fall, I've lost it all Your empty street where we would meet Spring, fall, the morning fog Your empty street where we would meet These parking lots bless us with peace Your light has strayed, there's no release

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Blasphemous rumors

Girl of sixteen Whole life ahead of her Slashed her wrists Bored with life Didn't succeed Thank the Lord for small mercies

Fighting back the tears Mother reads the note again Sixteen candles burn in her mind She takes the blame, it's always the same She goes down on her knees and prays

Girl of eighteen Fell in love with everything Found new life in Jesus Christ Hit by a car Ended up on a life support machine Summer's day as she passed away Birds were singing in the summer's sky Then came the rain And once again A tear fell From her mother's eye

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors But I think that God's Got a sick sense of humor And when I die I expect to find Him laughing