starts out like magic

wren like the bird. they/them. cusp of rebirth. survivor. artist.

[everythingstarstuff]

[viva-zapata]

Why does running one errand have to turn into a stop for ice cream and a stop for butts and oh also this and oh also this is the worst time of day for you here's the sensory onslaught you hide all day in the house to avoid

[viva-zapata]

I can't believe I talked to N this morning and will be seeing him this weekend! Things are finally coming up roses after a long struggle.

[gnossienne]

A boy gives a raised fist salute in front of the New Haven courthouse during a demonstration by 15,000 people in 1970. Bobby Seale, chairman of the Black Panther Party, and Ericka Huggins were on trial along for murder. Both were acquitted (photo by Stephen Shames)

[viva-zapata]

I can't hang out with people when I need to be to myself. I will not be forced to entertain. I am not your wife.

If I disappoint you, so be it. Just because I'm not a dude doesn't mean I have to play house

[artist-redon]

Brunhild (The Valkyrie), Odilon Redon

[fluentisonus]

notes apps are like:

carrots

yoghurt

bread

history and fate = same force in opposite directions? fate as forward acting trauma??

flour

meds

[viva-zapata]

one day I'll find my wedding dress

[joan-mitchell]

Untitled, 1968, Joan Mitchell

[viva-zapata]

_

_

_

@

I don't know how to exist in the summer. The last good summer I had was in 2014. It is hot and loud and bright. My body is too big and soft and sweaty. My make up runs. Pit stains ruin my t shirts and dresses. I spend all day hiding from the sun, wondering how the hell other people enjoy this.

I'm a fucking shut in. if I'm not going to shows, I'm not doing shit.

My partner deserves better than that. I deserve better than that! It is time to break this cycle! I can heal!

[sushitrash666]

[lhoocul]

Charlotte Knowles Geo Aviator Jacket

[viva-zapata]

The olanzapine really is helping, but its side effects suck. I have to take it for two weeks minimum. Everything will be all right.

[fuckyeahthegits]

Actual PTSD recovery is when something is triggering the shit out of you and y is being able to tell yourself “no, no one is actually forcing you to do this, you feel threatened but there is no actual threat to you here”.

[viva-zapata]

This aged like the finest of wines

[strangegirlsclub-deactivated202]

man some of the seven deadly sins aren’t even that bad. sorry I’m angry n wanna fuck? Sorry I ate a lot? shut up

[viva-zapata]

I'm processing so much trauma from my experience in the loony bin at thirteen. I woke up at 6:40 all on my own. Made coffee and bought cigarettes. I'm going to rest now. I had a couple psychotic episodes this week so I'm going to keep taking the zyprexa as prescribed. I think I turned it around though. I'm really hopeful and grateful.

[fuckyeahcourtneylove]

i’m in the moment. i don’t care if i die. but i will die. so that little self-preservation voice comes in and says ‘ok get down.’