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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@viyxen
itās monday and i bought a bottle of tequila. reposado. im not measuring how much im drinking but i donāt care. trying to occupy myself with things like laundry and dishes. watching youtube. drinking. smoking.
i want to get in bed but iām gonna try to do something else. maybe paint or color or clean more, idk.
iām thinking about you a little today. i wish you cared how i was.
you fucking failed. i told you the time. we agreed to talk. you never responded.
fuck you dude
i canāt wait to find someone better
i miss you.
i have a session in an hour and half. i want to pass out. i want to keep drinking but i cant. ive already had almost 6 shots and i still have to meet with a client. im gonna be fine. im just thinking about hurting myself to get my focus in check. its so stupid. and im about to meet with a client who struggles with hurting herself.
its fine. i will focus on redoing my nails.
have had six shots before 3pm. still have to meet with a client. this isnāt going away is it?
i wanted to call you this morning because of how much i was struggling. i wanted you to come over and put your arms around me and kiss my head and tell me itāll be okay.
i miss you a lot.
i wish i could feel your arms around me
its kinda challenging to talk to clients who have the same thoughts i do without telling them that.
i had a good day. i went to atlas after work. five shots and a beer and i feel good. sitting on my balcony with saturn.
i wanna hurt myself so bad. i might call matt.
https://www.instagram.com/imdavidkoe/
i am very drunk. if something happens, iām sorry. the risk is worth the recovery.
i donāt want to be alive. i donāt. iāve already thought about it. the seizures would give me a good excuse.
wait until my parents are gone and then do it. maybe drink a lot. maybe just not take my medication. maybe both.
donāt get married.
itāll work.
youāre not gonna be with me much longer. i get it.
