keep digging the hole
Game of Thrones Daily
will byers stan first human second
No title available

JBB: An Artblog!
🪼
d e v o n
RMH

Product Placement
dirt enthusiast
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Misplaced Lens Cap
Cosmic Funnies

if i look back, i am lost

@theartofmadeline
i don't do bad sauce passes
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

ellievsbear
Claire Keane
$LAYYYTER

seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Singapore
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Japan

seen from United States

seen from Finland
seen from Croatia

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from France
@vmzoid
keep digging the hole
Woke up. Feeling like a dried out and rotting leaf.
nvm i’ve said too much #unknowme
@funnier-with-szpd
even outside of being schizoid i think it’s unsettling how some people feel entitled to your body, your time, your space, and your attention, and then get offended when you don’t want to be touched or simply want privacy. i can politely say i don’t want a hug and people react like i’ve said something cruel or offensive. i’ve had exes go through my phone without permission and then act shocked when i’m upset about my privacy being violated. in relationships, people expect you to give up parts of your autonomy just to keep them comfortable.
Neurotypicals be like "I'm so antisocial" No you're not "Oh I meant asocial" No you're just an introvert
are your schizoid traits "covert"?
yes, nobody would ever know
mostly, but i'm clearly a little different (in a schizoid way)
no, it's somewhat clear
no, it's super obvious, i never talk to anyone
other/nuance/it depends/i dont know
not schizoid button (see results)
(this poll is inclusive to those who are self-diagnosed or questioning! reblog for sample size!)
how are we feeling today
@funnier-with-stpd
I wonder about the incidence of self-harming behaviors in schizoids. Because it's already a stigmatized topic that people with common and "acceptable" mental illness rarely speak of, but with the nature of schizoidality, obviously there's no information out there.
For the stereotypical perception of self-harm-- suicidal, self-loathing, a punishment, done while crying in the bathroom-- it makes no sense that a schizoid would do it (unless other factors were at play), as suicidality is not really related to the condition, neither is low self-esteem or self-hatred.
But it seems a lot of atypical reasons for self-harming are fitting with schizoid traits, too.
Expression of mental suffering through physical injury; it is very difficult, as a schizoid, to both experience feeling, understand the feeling, and express it. Many experiences are intangible and have no words available one could use that would make someone else understand. This is distressing. In this distress, it may seem desirable to have short-term relief in representing it on one's body with injury.
Dopamine-seeking behaviors; this might overlap with the fact that I have several prominent traits of antisocial personality disorder, or was violently abused at a young age, but often things feel like they're "not enough", not extreme enough, not exciting enough, not dangerous enough. Medically extreme forms of self-harm (i.e. causing serious, life-threatening damage) could, at times, seem like an option to counteract the feeling of numbness.
Having something to take care of; with dissociation from one's own body, it can be difficult to eat, shower, or sleep enough. For me it can feel nebulous as to what my body wants outside of a general need for something. Having an injury to focus on as it heals may feel like a more clear path to take in taking care of one's body.
Self-differentiation; anyone with prominent scarring or any visual abnormalities does know how differently you'll be treated for these things you cannot change. Conversely, schizoids are treated differently for behaviors, affects, needs, and thought processes we may not be able to change; one cannot un-make a schizoid. So it may feel like a way to visually represent one's distance to others, or even keep them at a distance by appearing obviously unwell in a way most people do not know how to approach.
Secrecy and choice; this is the big one for me. This is why I started self-harming as a child. It was something secret I could hide on my body. I was suffocated by the world around me and had no privacy even with my own thoughts. My body was visibly altered by others through physical violence and I felt like it was not my own. Causing injuries to myself, that I chose, instead of someone else inflicting them, made me have a sense of control; effectively hiding them and 'flying under the radar' made me have a sense of privacy, something that was all to myself, a ritual I did that none were aware of but me.
I don't know... this is just a thought. I hope maybe there's someone who can find relatability or understanding in this.
And, understanding why you do a harmful behavior is the first step to changing it. It is a maldaptive coping mechanism; something that hurts you, but it helps enough that you keep doing it despite the detrimental effects, so clearly there's a need it's fulfilling. If you can fulfill the need other ways, the harmful behavior can be eliminated.
For example, expressing oneself through more abstract forms like writing about characters instead of the self; finding safe ways to seek thrills, or simulate them; gaining the freedom to have one's own space where there is plenty of privacy and one may choose to do anything they wish.
stpd culture is intentionally fucking up my sleep schedule so bad that i become fully nocturnal just so that i don't have to be perceived by the people i live with but then getting lonely because my internet friends are only active during the day so i switch back to diurnality but then i'm perceived again so i go nocturnal again and it goes in a cycle forever
the only thing that broke me out of this cycle was a strict sleep schedule in the mental hospital + getting meds that i need to take on time now
-🟩🌀
StPD culture is not always being sure what of your thoughts/beleifs constitute as "odd" and thinking too hard just sends you spiraling, so, fuckin whatever I guess?
-❄️⭐️
Existence is so scary and also embarrassing among other things
@funnier-with-stpd maybe
cluster a culture is these disorders suck but thank fucking god i realized i was schizospec. i cant even imagine still living thinking this was just regular depression that could be quelled. damn!
szpd culture is staying up all night and cherishing that time because nobody else is awake. its just me, what i want to do, and nobody to appeal to. and then gradually as time passes people do start waking up and asking to hang out, then the moment is ruined.
my circadian rhythm is nonexistent. i dont bend to time or to others around me and thats a position that im content in. i pray everyone in my life keeps their good sleep schedules for my sake
szpd culture is maximizing the efficiency of your speech so you can convey all of the proper information in the most quick and effective (thorough and clear) way possible in order to save time and be able to Say Less in the long run
Cluster A culture is constantly being told to open up and tell people when I'm struggling and when I do always ALWAYS being dismissed by people who think they know me from interacting with me for 5 minutes a day through my carefully curated cover up that is of a human being
"oh you don't ACTUALLY believe [insert paranoid delusion I'm having]"
"You don't ACTUALLY hate people and socialising you're just lying to yourself"
"You don't ACTUALLY need isolation in order to be calm"
I'm a person too why do you do this to me why do you think you know so much about me it hurts I hate having to be surrounded by people it exhausts me so much i can't do anything anymore I can't enjoy my hobbies I just pray for death to come upon me all day you say you wanna help me but you just want to continue viewing me through this damsel in distress who will be saved through humans lense. I'm not that all humans have ever done is kill me further and further every day I can't survive like this anymore it hurts so much
(Questioning) STPD culture is having to organize your own thoughts before you speak just so people can understand you