(this is samsclub, BINCH) do this snippet "Johann fell silent. “Hey, Avi? I thought of something else I want to do when all this is over,” he said.“What’s that?”Johann paused, seemed to gather himself, then said, in the softest voice Avi’d ever heard him use, “Marry you?”" because i need to know why'd you would hurt me like this, personally
(Selection from Won’t Go Quietly)
(cracks open a la croix) oh boy, let’s GO
So, the fuckin’ truth about this moment was that it totally caught me - ME - off guard. I went into that bit not planning at all that it was going to be a marriage proposal. I was just typing, and then that happened, and I was like “oh… shit. oh my god I just did that.” Why did I do it? WHO KNOWS. But as soon as it happened, I was delighted, and I knew that was what that chapter would be… about? The chapter started as so nebulous. I knew it had to happen in some way, but it had no center, and with that line, suddenly it did.
At that point, Johann’s sort of… hm. He’s not really an impulsive person, as I see him, and he’s just done this very, very impulsive thing. I think Johann’s deeply insecure - see the directly preceding lines where he’s warning Avi about what living with him’s going to look like - and he’s suddenly had this sense of, “this is what I want. this person, in this way.” Like, not to get too mushy, but it’s… a sacrifice, for Johann. He’s giving away something of himself to Avi. He’s trusting Avi with his quirks, and his heart, and most importantly to Johann, his future. He’s making Avi part of his legacy in this moment, and that’s huge to Johann.
Avi, on the other hand - his emotions in this moment aren’t as complicated. He’s surprised, of course, and very, very happy. That’s really about it. It’s a contrast, in a way, to the complexity of his grief later, I think.
send me snippets from my fic and I’ll write you DVD commentary!
