The reason I need you to be the one to go first is because it has always been me. It has always been me to make the first move, say the first "I love you" each time, the first "good morning" of the day, the first to ask "how was your day?", the first to notice when something was wrong, the first to apologize even when I was the one being hurt needing an apology because I just wanted to know things could be mended, the first to ask about going out for a date, the first to double text. I have always been the one to lead. Every time, I was left being the first, and only one, to want to work through things. The only time I was second, was when it came to walking away from the relationship.
So maybe to you it seems childish or trivial to not be the one to make the first move, but to me, every time you are the one to lead, to initiate, to make the first move, is not only reassurance that I'm being loved intentionally, it is proof I am loved not out of convenience but because you want this as much as I do. Maybe it's wrong, Im not sure honestly, but it's the reason why sometimes I wait for you to lead.