LIE Ā NOT Ā TO Ā THE Ā LIAR,Ā Ā Ā lie not to the one so accustomed to the lie that the truth is more recognizable than its opposite. Ā Ā she finds herself considering, Ā Ā at times, Ā Ā that perhaps marya in all her WINTER is better skilled at swallowing her plague of emotions than she is herself.Ā Ā Ā & natalia considers the thought once again, Ā Ā standing at the precipice of her loveās Ā WARMTH, Ā Ā tears now finding no hesitance in falling down marble cheeks. Ā Ā Ā & Ā OH, Ā Ā Ā HOW Ā WARM Ā MARYA Ā IS. Ā Ā though her eyes shine blue as russian chill, Ā Ā Ā her hair black as a winter night, Ā Ā Ā skin pale as ice & snow, Ā Ā Ā every bit of her is fashioned in a heat so different than the cold of her husband that natalia is used to. Ā Ā Ā Ā her husband Ā Ā āā Ā Ā well of her sorrows, Ā Ā depths of her despair, Ā Ā the man that owns her death as she owns his heartless breast. Ā Ā Ā marya counters him so delicately, Ā Ā & she cannot help but slip into the helplessness of a child as she cradles her. Ā Ā Ā Ā
āĀ Ā Ā OH, Ā Ā Ā MASHA Ā āāāāĀ Ā Ā ā Ā Ā Ā her tears fall heavy as blood, Ā Ā Ā the trails they leave on her cheeks the evidence of her sorrow even as she accepts maryaās affection. Ā Ā Ā natalia clings to her as they go to sit, Ā Ā little guilt in how she wets maryaās midnight hair. Ā Ā Ā SHE Ā FEELS Ā AS Ā A Ā FLOWER Ā FEELS, Ā Ā Ā its roots drowned by a deluge, Ā Ā its petals weighed down by heavy drops of rain. Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā perhaps it is nothing. Ā Ā perhaps Ā ā Ā perhaps i weep in vain.Ā Ā Ā ā Ā Ā a question pulls at the latter syllables, Ā Ā Ā her words broken by sobs she still suppresses. Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā HE Ā provoked my anger Ā āā Ā & i provoked his. Ā Ā & is that not what married people do ? Ā Ā PROVOKE Ā each other so ?Ā Ā Ā ā Ā Ā Ā a lousy excuse, Ā Ā & she surely knows such. Ā Ā Ā still, Ā Ā his insults do weigh in her heart, Ā Ā Ā & she feels every bit the Ā CHILD Ā heād accused her of being. Ā Ā Ā natalia pulls away for a moment, Ā Ā shaking hands lifted to wipe away the streaks the paint her cheek. Ā Ā her lungs give way to a sob without her permission, Ā Ā & she breathes it away, Ā Ā Ā gaze dropping to her lap. Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā it was foolish. Ā Ā foolish. Ā Ā Ā & he is SELFISH, Ā Ā Ā & i do disdain him, Ā Ā Ā but iĀ LOVEĀ him too much to stay with him for now, Ā Ā Ā & i love you far too much to stay away from you.Ā Ā Ā ā
marya had learned the art of swallowing her emotions at a very young age- it was a practice she had been honing for so long she hardly realized she was doing it any longer. but it was foolish to think you could ever really rid yourself of such things, of things like emotions, real and fleshy as beasts. she had thought she could chew them up and that they would be gone when she had been a girl but in time she had learned they were like a sickness. you could chew them and swallow them and banish them to the pit of your belly but they were like bile and they would always be on a horrendousĀ rise in the end. and truthfully the end result was never pretty, but marya could not stop herself from it now, it was as much apart of her as the beat of her heart. maryas heart lurched at the way nataliaās face crumbled, the way her mouth wilted and pressed in sadnessĀ and the way her cheeks were gleaning and damp with tears and oh how they would not stop! marya morevna rushed forward, her voice was all honey drenched, tender and velvet tongued she is reaching with hands equally as gentle.Ā Ā Ā Ā ā Ā natya, my sweet natya, that is the way of married peopleĀ . there are times we find our tongues are more knife than flesh and we aim to slice the jugularĀ with our cruelty .Ā Ā Ā Ā ā Ā she leads natya to sit beside her on her couch, lush and spilling with pillows, rich and velvet, push and soft. marya reaches with frigid fingers to brush back the vermilionĀ hair of nataliaās hair, her lips come to flutter along her cheeks and her forehead. she is such a gentle beast for natya, her teeth are tucked behind the safetyĀ of her lips and her eyes morph to rivers and oceans of a warm blue, she melts time and time again, she forgets her cruel heart. Ā Ā Ā ā Ā i know you love him, you know i know that so well, even know, i love koschei, it is the way of the heart. now you know i would never admonish you for that, love is not a thing with limits, love is not confined to one name . i love you natya, please, tell me how it is that i can stop your tearsĀ . ā Ā