v

[mytvjunk]

Polo coming back to school after getting arrested for Marina's murder:

[the-witcherr]

Geralt: I need no one. And the last thing I want, is someone needing me

Jaskier, being the romantic smooth little bastard that he is: And yet, here we are

Geralt:

[witchersdestiny-deactivated2020]

[patroclusdefencesquad]

everyone else geralt comes across immediately realises he's a witcher but jaskier really just saw a hot guy sitting alone in a bar and nothing else even crossed his mind huh

[haflacky]

Oh shit he just need a nap

[your-villainous-neighbour]

a summary

[maxkennedy24]

=*

[darlingpleasedo]

The audience after Geralt verbally attacks Jaskier

[thewitcherssongbird]

Stubble

For some odd reason this took me 3 weeks and I’m very proud I completed it :D 

***

Jaskier has found his new obsession and it is something as odd as having the pleasure of shaving Geralt of Rivia.

He used to badger Geralt into shaving regularly, tired of the stubble scratching his cheeks. Until today. Today he had realized that maybe he could do it for him.

Now Geralt is sat shirtless on a chair, so still Jaskier can’t quite can’t tell if he’s breathing. Jaskier stands between the Witcher’s knees, sleeves rolled up, focused so intently on what he’s doing that he’s almost able to ignore the piercing golden gaze on his face. Almost.

He doesn’t look. If he looks, he won’t be able to look away.

Gently, so gently delicate artist’s fingers lift the Witcher’s chin to scrape off the stubble underneath and Jaskier is the only one allowed so close to his throat with a blade. Geralt releases a single breath, his pulse visible just under his skin, noticeably faster than the slow rhythm Jaskier has come to know.

There’s something erotic about it,

Keep reading

[vanishedangels]

"Geralt! Geralt! Where are you going?! Geralt! Don't leave me!!!"

- Jaskier (ten minutes after meeting Geralt for the first time. S01E02.)

That's it! That's the whole show...

[drunkenjoke]

am I in love with jaskier? yes, yes I am

[widevibratobitch]

If season 2 doesn't start with Geralt fucking apologizing to Jaskier, I'll sue.

[devilfulmarina]

Life is too short…

[snarky-starks]

Season 1 of The Witcher was honestly a crack fic readers dream. We had:

Jaskier rubbing camomile on Geralt’s lovely bottom.

Geralt going undercover as Jaskier’s bodyguard at a gig.

Jaskier helping Geralt with his bath.

Geralt saving Jaskier from a pissed off husband of a former fuckbuddy.

Jaskier saying he needs Geralt.

Geralt going from pissed off to I WILL GIVE YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT when Jaskier’s life is in danger.

Jaskier being jealous of Yennefer.

Road trip.

Season 1 was like someone wrote up a crack fic bingo card and was like “we’re just gonna keep picking tropes until we hit them all”.

[thebardjaskier]

geralt has a Scent Thing,

clearly,

now,

normally,

jaskier smells like the expensive cologne he prefers, some cedar-smoke-rose concoction that makes geralt’s head spin, and it’s easy to track, which comes in handy, because jaskier is always fucking wandering off, whether they’re on the road or at the market,

but,

nothing,

not a single scent in the world,

compares to just - his skin,

and geralt could spend hours with his nose buried right under jaskier’s ear, could spend hours nuzzling at his throat, under his arms, over the crease of his groin,

and he does, sometimes, when they’ve been on the road too long and finally get a room in some tavern that costs an exorbitant amount but geralt pays for it anyway,

‘cause then they get to soak in a bath for hours, and he doesn’t even mind it, because jas will sing and wash his hair, will massage over his road-weary muscles and clamber all over him, clever hands needy and greedy, and geralt will catch jaskier close whenever he thinks he’s getting too far away (which, for geralt, is like, an inch of space),

and they’ll soak in the bath while they soak in each other, too,

and then geralt will spend hours nosing over jas’ throat, 

burying his face under his arms,

nuzzling against the crease of his groin,

‘cause there’s no scent in the world like jaskier’s skin,

[mail-me-a-snail]

jaskier, like any good bard, is a hoe and in this essay,

[incorrectnierposts-deactivated2]

Geralt: I'm not gay

Jaskier: Geralt, we've been married for two years. You're at least a little gay