The thing is Clara Oswald was always insane. But she is an insane woman who also happens to be a control freak. So she controls herself very very tightly.
When she first met the doctor, she ask him to come back and ask her tomorrow. This is not because she doesn't want to travel with him let's be real, we are talking a bout a woman whose most important possession is a travel book. She WANTS this. She wants this so bad she is afraid she has to test herself by first refusing. Test that she is still in control. So she asks the doctor to come back tomorrow.
This denying of herself to prove that she is still in control is imo what her story with Danny is. She wants the doctor. She wants the adventure, the travelling, all of time and space and the excitement of it all. She is also in love with the doctor, so much it scares her. So she put boundaries: the doctor is a hobby, she only does it on specific days. She is not in Love with him : here is the proof, she will date someone else. She chose Danny and that's why she stick to her plan even when their first date sucks ass, even when their relationship is rocky. If it feels forced it's because it is, she is forcing herself to be normal. "life would be so much easier if we fell in love with the right person, but then there'd be no fairy tales" Danny IS the right person, he is even cosmically mandated because she saw their descendant, but he is not the one Clara loves, because they are in a fairy tale.
When Danny dies it's her control slipping, she is now fully embracing her addiction to an unhealthy degree that yeah, might be fueled by her grief, but I think was always there, under the surface, tightly controlled by the control freak.
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