spite alone holds me aloft

ex malo bonum - un spectacle misérable

[bigtonguebiollante]

[w0e-t0-4ll]

a lot of proclaimed experts on things are just dumbasses who move with confidence and speak with authority which just serves to manipulate ppl into trusting their word, but if you actually listen to what they say, you can hear the dumbassery and notice how they contradict themselves constantly 😝 the most common examples are ministers and salesmen, which are essentially the same thing, but even just a dude who has (what he thinks is) a niche interest, will make up his own conflicting rules and narratives around it and then act like it's the authority.

[beadyeyes]

1906 "carousel wolf" x

[impatiently]

Textures & Overlays Might Post Renders I’ve Made…? Maybe. Just Rb / ❤️ 2Use

[svelkaa]

more resources here

[priestboy]

⁺‧₊˚𓆩♱𓆪 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒃𝒚 𝒎𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒈 𝒊𝒇 𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈˖༉‧₊˚🏰

[w0e-t0-4ll]

I used to go round n round with people stressed out over their acceptance and "If they could just understand" which is just chasing my tail, so now yall genuinely have ONE time to show your ass during a hard conversation with me.

How you deal with that convo is what determines if you become a trusted comrade, a surface level acquaintance, or an opp who gets nothing. It doesn't even have to be about a conflict. If I attempt to share something vulnerable with you, and youre an ass about it? Or worse yet, try some manipulation shit? Curtains. You're done. Access revoked. I can feel bad all by myself.

There are wonderful folks in my life who don't secretly prey on my downfall or talk shit behind my back, who respect me and the things I've accomplished for myself and the things that I promote and fight for. Folks I could talk to about anything and they would be engaged and invested in how I feel and what I think with no judgement. Folks who put effort into being in my life instead of standing on the peripheral acting like they're involved.

[pup-purgatory]

[grungeprincess2]

Bat eyes

[w0e-t0-4ll]

realized today that my twin flame is the same age as my mom when she passed away: 49, still so young. from a young age I never thought I'd be long on this earth, but after that realization, it feels ironically fated in the same way all these other aspects of my life have.

[betterxoff]

not sure what's worse, my detachment issues or my attachment issues

[w0e-t0-4ll]

it's so frustrating remembering how perfectly ready for clown life I was before I became so jaded. I really needed it back then. i was a teenager obsessed with circus, romance, tragedy, performance. I thought there was something wrong with me for so long. I daydreamed about running away with the circus. Turns out my father really did. I don't believe things happen for a reason, so I know it's just bullshit that it ended up this way. but even if I did believe that there was a reason for how this happened, I can't begin to imagine what purpose me spending years going through what I did serves to the formula. all it's done is make it harder to perform now that I'm here. I'm not that same romantic, dramatic, creative, hopeful kid anymore. it's been beaten out of me at every turn, accessing it is extremely hard. I'm exhausted and it's poor-me to say but I really honestly feel sometimes like it's a big universal joke at my expense, making me go on this journey to discover myself only to give me all this grief related to the time I've lost and how past prime time it is to truly be a part of it.

[w0e-t0-4ll]

₊⊹there aint nothing that is worthless if it arms you .⋆♱

[w0e-t0-4ll]

if you want to stand for something, get used to standing alone in your social circles. because a lot of your friends won't support you or defend you. not even because they disagree with your cause, but because they're afraid of looking crazy. afraid of changing their routines and upsetting the little bit of balance and security they've managed to achieve in a system that was built to exploit them. most of the people standing shoulder to shoulder with you on the front line against injustice will be strangers - people just like you, who decided to show up and do what's right, even if no one joined them.

[crimsolyn]

Call it unhealthy if you want, but isolation is still the most undefeatable coping mechanism ever invented.

[julesofnature]

“Nothing has ever been said about God that hasn’t already been said better by the wind in the pine trees.”

— Thomas Merton

[w0e-t0-4ll]

my dad said he thinks horror movies are "domestic violence on the crew who makes them"

very unexpected L take