FOR THE MOTHERS AND THE WOLVES: a visual study for Robb and Catelyn.
A STORM OF SWORDS, CATELYN VII, GEORGE R.R. MARTIN / A GAME OF THRONES, CATELYN X, GEORGE R.R. MARTIN / SUSAN SMITH, WYCH ELM / PLEASE LET HIM BE HAPPY, J.P. / A STORM OF SWORDS, CATELYN IV, GEORGE R.R. MARTIN / THE LAST DAYS OF JUDAS ISCARIOT, STEPHEN ADLY GUIRGIS / A FEAST FOR CROWS, BRIENNE VIII, GEORGE R.R. MARTIN / GAME OF THRONES, SEASON 1, EPISODE 1.
A meta exploring Robb's bond with Grey Wind that examines the roots of their connection, the factors that later caused them to grow distant, Robb’s warging abilities and what the realization of them mean to him, and includes specific portrayal notes.
First, to understand Robb and his relationship with his direwolf Grey Wind, we must take another look at the moment it and its littermates are found on the Starks' way back to Winterfell after the execution of the Night's Watch deserter. Their mother had been killed fighting a stag, and some of the Stark men interpret this as a bad omen, even suggesting that its pups should be killed as well. However, Robb clearly does not share that view and steps in to defend them:
and continues to insist even more after Jon explains that it is the sigil of their house, that there were five ( three male and two female, just like the Stark children ) and that everything suggests they were actually meant to have them because he notices the others, including his father, are starting to doubt their original idea and they could finally be convinced.
Faith saved the direwolves, and that same faith becomes the center of everything as we can see later in the conversation Robb has with Catelyn in a Storm of Swords:
There it is clear how Robb regards the direwolves as a divine gift and that is precisely why he keeps Grey Wind close at all times and even allows it to accompany him into battle, because as long as it is there he knows he will be okay. Yet, the moment that belief is gone so is their connection, and that is something we see after Robb comes back from his campaign on the Westerlands since Catelyn mentions Grey Wind was not at his son's side, where it belonged. Though, that is not the only reason behind why they grew distant after being so close. To fully understand the situation, we must also consider what being a warg means for Robb.
It was confirmed by George that all the Stark children, including Robb, are wargs. However, since he is not a pov character we have to rely on his interactions with others and what they mention of him to know what his abilities consist of and how they influence his story:
From these dialogues we can see that Robb does realize that the direwolves are special and that Grey Wind has played a crucial role in some of his victories by guiding the northern army, which, in my opinion, is the best evidence we have in the books of Robb being a warg since it can be connected to the wolf dreams. I believe Robb experiences them and sees visions through Grey Wind's eyes, yet, when he wakes up, he remembers very little of them and has to send scouts ( or sometimes accompany Grey Wind himself with the excuse of going hunting or for a simple walk ) to explore the possible areas where the place he saw could be until they locate it, allowing him and his men to use it as needed.
Due to his vague memories, for me Robb doesn't initially realize of his powers. It would only be later on, as his bond with Grey Wind grows stronger, that he understands how he moves and senses things in those dreams and, although his connection was never strong enough to experience the taste of a kill, this realization frightens him and makes him wary of both his abilities and his direwolf:
A fear that, along with the loss of his faith in it previously mentioned, was key in Robb's distancing from it since he believed that the farther apart they were, the less it would continue happening to him. A decision that had significant consequences as ignoring Grey wind's signals ultimately led to his downfall, for everything around Robb reeked of treason and betrayal and Grey Wind was the only one who could sense it:
Sybell Spicer, who made sure Robb never had any children with Jeyne:
Rolph Spicer, who was part of the plan that led to the Red Wedding:
The Freys at the Twins:
PORTRAYAL NOTES :
I take the theory of Robb dying twice, first as himself and then as Grey Wind, as canon because wargs are said to live a second life in their animal's body after their death if it is still alive and therefore Robb's conscience would have traveled to his direwolf only to be killed again by the Freys.
Direwolves are not simply bigger wolves as they may seem because of the show adaptation so I use this picture as reference regarding their size:
I always liked the idea that a warg's bond with their animal shows itself physically as well, and that made me imagine that, when Robb has those dreams where he sees things through Grey Wind, his eyes take a faint shade of gold added to his Tully blue eyes that is almost impossible to notice unless you know him well or have paid a lot of attention to them. It would fade slowly with time but the stronger the abilities are and the more they are used, the clearer the signs become and the longer they last.