he doesn’t talk at all. he doesn’t think it’s worth it, wasting his breath on foolish little creatures he’d much rather cut up into pieces. you’ve heard him chuckle, moan, scoff and grunt… but never any words. he expresses everything through looks, gestures, or just destruction. somehow, you always know what he means. it’s scary how well you understand each other.
he leaves you creepy little gifts. a very expensive locket with a picture of you (taken without your knowledge), a heart-shaped box full of literal human hearts and eyeballs, blood-smeared note that says “mine”. he also clears all threats from your way. you just suddenly feel like the world is strangely safer around you, which is ironic because jason ! kuna is such a danger himself. but he doesn’t want anything big and scary to get his hands on you but him.
he gets extremely territorial of you. unlike a casual form of petty jealousy, jason ! kuna wants to drive an axe into the head of any man who thinks they have a chance with you. if a guy even talks to you, jason ! kuna is there snarling behind him with his machete in hand. later that night, he fucks you like he’s reclaiming you again, having a knife pressed against your throat, (flat end pressed against you with the tip pressing lightly to your clavicle). his other hand holds your jaw and mouths 'mine' while you cum underneath him.
if you're upset the price will be paid by everyone you've come in contact within the past couple hours. if you cry, he's gone, and you wake up later to the news that your ex has been found in a lake. your boss that grabbed you and yelled at you now has MISSING headlines on tv. a guy that perved on you at a bar? found in pieces. and sukuna walks in later, leaning down into your face and tilting his head innocently as if asking; “better now?” he huffs a laugh through his nose at your pouty face, covered in blood and smelling like smoke.
if the reason you're upset is because of him, he gets moody and sits in your room, watching you with a scowl on your face and expects you to forgive him. usually, if it's for something like biting you too hard during sex or tearing one of your pretty panties, you'll forgive him and let him eat you out all night as part of his apology.
but if it's for something more serious, like... well, murder, he'll get annoyed that you're mad he's protecting you and will either: disappear on you for several days in your shithole of a city so you don't have the comfort of his protection (he's secretly watching you the whole time, but you don't know that because it wouldn't work if you did) or he'll kidnap you, take you to his secret cabin and make you spend as long as it takes for you to forgive him in that house, imposing his presence onto you. when you do forgive him, he fucks you to celebrate!
sex is quite dramatic for him. he'll grab your face mid-fuck and mimes a camera click, he'll tie your wrists with whatever he can find, push your thighs open with his gloves still on. fucks you in front of a mirror just so he can point and sneer at how wrecked you look.
he plays games with you in bed too. his personal favorite is getting you so wet that his cock practically slips between your folds, then rubs his cock along your pussy and asshole and pushes his dick into whichever hole his tip catches on. he also likes to see how hard he can push you, whether its by fucking you until you're nearly unconscious from exhaustion, or choking you till your vision sparkles, or shoving his fingers or cock into your mouth as far as they go before you gag. he notes your limits in mind and is masterful in pushing you right till your brink every time.
he's quite mocking in bed, but his favorite form of it is to mimic your moans. you’ll be breathy and desperate like, “mmn! sukuna, please slow down- it's fuck- too big!” and he’ll mouth back your high pitched whines and babbling back at you in a ridiculous, over-the-top porn sounds just to mess with you. then he’ll immediately flip you over and rail you so hard the mattress slides. you can't walk properly the next day.
I don't know where this comes from and it's frustrating, even more now that I got the diagnosis I have autism and ADHD. Like- I got the diagnosis, explains so much but what now? What should I do? What am I supposed to do? I still live so uncomfortably, tired, angry, and annoyed every day. Every day is so hard to go through, a rollercoaster of emotions, takes a toll of me mentally to live it.
And is why is so frustrating! I HATE THIS!
like pls why can't I be normal like others and live my day happy and calm not getting overwhelmed by the sunlight, by noises, by little dirt/spots, by small mistakes, by actions, by everything!?
I am happy for the diagnosis but I hate I still feel the same and with no idea how to fix myself and live better. I am so tired and overwhelmed.
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