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@wait--whaaaaaaaaaaat
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to a new report, only three people in the crowd at the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021, were not FBI agents.
The FBI allegedly confirmed to Congress that, on the date of the protest that evolved into a riot, the enormous mob of plainclothes federal agents who stormed the Capitol Building was infiltrated by three MAGA voters. Those individuals were identified as Lectern Guy, Buffalo Hat Guy, and "the black guy from The Babylon Bee videos." Sources confirmed that everyone else involved in the incident was a federal agent.
"This whole thing appears to have been a big misunderstanding," said FBI Director Kash Patel. "I would have learned this sooner, but I hate reading files. It takes a really long time."
Congressional Republicans called on the FBI to explain how the matter got so out of hand when it was mostly federal agents involved. "We know the exact whereabouts and activities of the three civilians," said Congressman Thomas Massie. "That means it was federal agents who broke windows and planted pipe bombs. Why?"
Unfortunately, the answer to Massie's question will likely remain a mystery as Director Patel confirmed that there are simply "way too many" files to read. He has instead referred questions to his predecessor, former FBI Director Christopher Wray. Unfortunately, Wray was reported to have fled the country for "purely coincidental" reasons.
At publishing time, Patel had officially offered Lectern Guy, Buffalo Hat Guy, and the black guy from The Babylon Bee videos jobs with the FBI for being able to blend so uncannily into a massive crowd of federal agents.
Jara by Waconzy_4K.mp4
RAMAH — A large crowd of disgruntled people from multiple tribes marched publicly through the streets today, as mobs of angry Israelites pro
What happens when a pope dies? Typically, a funeral. But in 897 AD, Pope Formosus got something a little different: his body was exhumed, dr
Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, from a letter featured in The Life & Letters of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
So grateful to see this bobcat this morning. Shannon Estates, on Wicklow St.
morse code
“iHave no interest in…anybody”