Synopsis: You see Peter at a party years after your messy breakup and some truths come out
Masterlist
“How long do we have to stay?”
“It’s a party, Peter. It’s not going to kill you to be away from your apartment for one night.” Ned sighed as he pressed the button for the 13th floor in the elevator.
“It might.” Peter said out of the corner of his mouth.
“You need to get out more, dude.” Ned told him. “You’re starting to become Boo Radley, when really, you should be Jay Gatsby.”
“You never read either of those books.” Peter pointed out.
“No.” Ned agreed. “But I Sparknote-ed the shit out of them enough to know that you are becoming a homebody. And everyone knows that is the first step to becoming a serial killer who wears suits made out of unsuspecting women.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Peter answered sarcastically.
“Just try to have fun tonight, okay? I won’t make you stay that long. But I want to see you taking to some people.” Ned requested as they walked into the apartment where the party was being held.
“But you’re the only person here that I….” Peter trailed off as the hairs on the back of his neck stood straight up. He stared ahead and felt the rest of the world fade away as his eyes landed on you for the first time in four years. You were leaning on a counter in the kitchen with a red solo cup in your hand and a lightness to you he hadn’t seen since the early days of when you were together. The music that had been playing when he walked in became a dull thump that Peter felt in his chest. You hadn’t caught his eye yet, too busy laughing at a story a girl he sort of recognized was telling you.
Your hair was different. Your clothes too. But there was something still distinctly you about you that brought Peter back to a place he didn’t know he still knew how to get to.
“Peter, I am so sorry. I didn’t think she’d be here tonight.” Ned said, pulling Peter back into his body. He managed to tear his eyes away from you, only once he processed what Ned had said.
“You didn’t…uh, is she…do you guys still talk?” Peter asked Ned with an undertone of betrayal.
“No, dude. I haven’t spoken to her since high school.” Ned assured him. “But I know she’s friends with Harry’s girlfriend. I just didn’t think they were close enough that she’d be here.”
“Oh.” Peter said quietly as his attention returned to you. He wanted to turn around and leave before you saw him, but it was too late. Harry, the host of the party, appeared in the doorway of the kitchen to greet him and Ned.
“Hey. Glad you guys made it.” Harry said as he pulled Ned into some handshake-hug hybrid.
“Thanks for having us.” Ned replied. “This is my friend-“
“Peter?” Your voice pierced him like a sword. Harry stepped to the side when he heard your voice, giving you a perfect view of Peter. He stared at you like he was staring down the barrel of a gun, unsure of what his next move should be.
“Oh, you guys know each other?” Harry asked as you departed from your kitchen counter and walked into the living room.
“We all went to high school together.” Ned answered right before you enveloped him in a hug. He shot Peter an apologetic glance before returning the hug.
“Ned. It’s so good to see you.” You said as you squeezed him.
“You too.” He answered quietly but genuinely. “It’s been too long.”
“I had no idea you all knew each other. What a small world.” Harry laughed as you and Ned pulled out of your hug. Your eyes slowly went back to Peter, taking their time as if you hoped he wouldn’t be there anymore by the time you looked his way. He was frozen in time as he stared back at you, taking it all the ways time had changed you since he saw you last.
“Um, is there something else?” Harry chuckled awkwardly when the uncomfortable silence between you and Peter became prolonged uncomfortable silence. Peter stayed quiet and let you decide how much information you wanted to share.
“Peter and I used to date.” You said without taking your eyes off of Peter. Harry’s girlfriend, Sadie, had joined the conversation at some point, but you and Peter weren’t sure of when.
“Wait, you two dated?” Sadie asked as she leaned on Harry’s arm. “I can’t see that.”
“Neither could he. Probably why we didn’t work out.” You said out of the corner of your mouth. Peter absentmindedly touched his lips, realizing he may have developed his habit of doing that from you. You laughed at your own joke, but you were alone in that. Your face fell when you saw how uncomfortable everyone else looked, so you looked down into your cup and took a long sip.
“Wow. Thanks for fucking up the vibe, guys.” Harry said after a minute. “Drinks, anyone? Or perhaps a blow torch to melt the ice between you?”
“That would be great, thanks.” You smiled tightly.
“I’ll be right back with that.” Harry said before heading towards the kitchen. Sadie squeezed your shoulder before walking off with him.
Peter turned to look at Ned, but no longer saw him standing next to him. He looked around the room and could see Ned absolutely cutting it up at a game of Just Dance through the open door of one of the bedrooms. Peter was fearful to turn back around because he knew that meant it was now just the two of you. Before he could psych himself out, he whipped around to face you. You were sizing him up, noticing the way his hair had grown out and how he’d lost his remainder of his teenage features.
“Well, this is a surprise.” You said to break the silence. You took another sip of your drink without breaking eye contact with Peter.
“It’s really good to see you. I didn’t think we’d ever see each other again.” Peter heard the sound of his own voice before realizing he was speaking. He had played out the moment he saw you again in his head a million times, but this version was something he hadn’t written in his mental scripts.
“Yeah, that was heavily implied by the post-it you left on my computer.” You said with a tight lipped smile. This response surprisingly put Peter at ease. It helped him to know where you stood, since the way he ended things left him completely unaware of how you felt about the breakup. He left a post-it note for you to find when you woke up three years ago and had zero communication with you until this moment.
“I’m so sorry about that. I’m sorry about a lot of things that happened between us. I was such a dick to you.” Peter continued, feeling like once he started to pour out all these bottled up feelings, he was not going to be able to stop.
“You said it.” Was all you said before taking another sip of your drink. Peter touched his back pockets and then the pockets of his jackets, looking for something to fidget with. He settled on toying with the zipper of his jacket while he search for the right words to say.
“Do you think we could talk?” He asked in a quiet voice. “Somewhere more private?”
“I don’t really think you and I have anything left to say to each other.“ You answered. Your tone wasn’t harsh, just honest. Peter began to chew his lips and felt his chance to make things right slipping away.
“I think I have a lot of things left to say to you, actually.” Peter said with an awkward chuckle.
“Then maybe you should’ve sprung for a bigger post-it.” You shrugged.
“Please.” Peter said softly. “Just one conversation. Maybe we could go outside or something?”
“I’m sorry. I can’t. Don’t hate me.”
“What?” Peter frowned, feeling like he had heard that once before.
“That’s what your note said.” You reminded him. “On the same kind of yellow post-it we would use it remind each other to run the dishwasher. I’m sorry. I can’t. Don’t hate me.”
“That’s not….thats all I wrote?” Peter asked in embarrassed disbelief. He had left in such heightened state of emotions that night that he couldn’t remember the exact wording he had chosen.
“You don’t remember?” You asked him, seemingly more amused than upset.
“I’m sorry. I don’t.”
“Wow.” You said sarcastically. “And here I was thinking we both would know it by heart. Guess it’s just me.”
“That’s awful. Oh my God. You should’ve found out where I was and dropped an anvil on my head or something.” Peter replied, unexpectedly making you let out a dry laugh.
“Hey, I still can.” You reminded him. He felt himself dare to smile the slightest bit.
“You’re being unreasonably civil with me considering the circumstances.”
“Well, if you had shown up before we played that last drinking game, this conversation would be going a lot differently. But lucky for you, I’m too drunk to remember just exactly how much I hate your guts.” You replied, making the smile fall right off his face. Hearing that you hated his guts was painful, even though he knew he deserved it.
Before Peter could respond, a guy a full foot taller than him bumped his shoulder and pulled you into a hug. Your demeanor changed and you tensed up, making eye contact with Peter over the man’s shoulder. He felt his heart sink and knew his face was not hiding how he felt.
“Hey, beautiful.” The man greeted you as he pulled away. Your blank expression became a fake smile the second he could see your face.
“Hi!” You said in a tone Peter recognized as your voice when fake niceties were being exchanged. You made eye contact with Peter again and stared at each other. As angry as you had been with him, you did not want him to be in this situation.
“Sorry, did I interrupt?” The man asked when he noticed you staring at Peter.
“Kelly, this is Peter. He’s a friend of a friend.” You explained. Peter made a face for several reasons. Kelly did not seem at all phased by hearing Peter’s name, so you had clearly not told him about your relationship. That, and you had lied about how you knew each other.
“What’s up, man?” Kelly said and held out his hand. Peter panicked, not knowing if he was supposed to shake his hand or do the weird handshake hug-hybrid he just saw Ned do. He ended up doing an awkward mix of both and saw you turning your face to the side to laugh.
“Not much.” Peter answered with a similar fake smile to yours. The three of you stood in the most awkward silence of Peter’s life until Kelly cleared his throat.
“Can I get you another drink?” He asked you.
“Yes, thank you.” You nodded and handed him your cup. Once he was gone, you and Peter exchanged another look.
“Kelly?” He asked you with raised eyebrows.
“Don’t start.”
“Of Blue Book fame?” He continued, making you give him a lethal stare.
“It’s a unisex name.”
“Are you sure about that?” He mumbled, but you heard it.
“Don’t start.“ You repeated, this time with a warning finger.
“I’m not. I’m not.” Peter said and held up his hands in defense. You shook your head and looked away, but he could tell you were trying not to laugh.
“I’m not seeing anyone, if you were wondering.” He said, making you look at him again.
“Oh, I wasn’t.” You assured him, but there was a playfulness to your tone. He reminded himself that you were drunk so that he didn’t read into things.
“Oh. Well, now you know anyway.”
“What a relief on behalf of women everywhere.” You replied. You turned away again, but this time, you couldn’t hide your laughter.
“What’s so funny?”
“Kelly Blue Book was a low blow.” You told him. “We are not rekindled enough for you to say that.”
“Does that mean we’re rekindled somewhat?” He asked, making you roll your eyes in a playful way.
“No. I’m just drunk and I have a soft spot for you.” You said like it wasn’t a big deal.
“You do?” Peter asked with softened eyes. You opened your mouth to speak, but were cut off by the sound of a girl laughing loudly in the kitchen. You both turned to look and saw Kelly leaning very close to a girl to whisper something to her. Whatever he was saying must’ve been the funniest thing she had ever heard because she was slapping his chest as she laughed. You folded your lips in as if this didn’t surprise you and didn’t meet Peter’s eyes.
“He seems-“
“I don’t want to hear it.” You cut him off and walked away.
Peter was smart enough to give you space, but curious enough to make sure he always knew where you were. He stayed by Ned for most of the night, but made sure you were never out of his peripheral vision.
He saw you laughing and doing shots with your friends in the kitchen. He noticed when you were dancing to a song from a movie he had forced you to watch once upon a time. He was aware when you went to the balcony by yourself to stare at the city skyline and catch your breath. His eyes stayed on you as you got yourself another drink and came back to the living room. Your eyes went to something in the center of the room, so Peter’s followed. There he saw Kelly dancing between two girls and looking like he didn’t have a care in the world. Peter looked back at you and saw that you weren’t exactly watching Kelly, but not unaware of what was happening either. Peter was glaring daggers at him on your behalf with his disdain building by the minute. One of the girls whispered something in Kelly’s ear and he nodded before going over to you.
“I think I’m gonna head out soon.” Peter heard Kelly tell you.
“Really? But you just got here.” You said with your fake smile.
“Yeah, but, uh, my friends want to meet up. He’s really upset and needs me.” Kelly told you without bothering to keep his eyes off the girl he had just been dancing with. Peter could see on your face that you didn’t believe him. You pulled him by the arm onto the balcony, rendering Peter unable to hear the rest of your conversation. He could, however, see the two of you fighting through the window. He quickly looked away when you came back in, but he could already tell you were crying. You went straight for the bathroom as Kelly went out the front door, one of the girls he’d been dancing with not far behind him.
“I’ll be right back.” Peter told Ned. He made his way over to where the bathroom was so that he could catch you on the way out. When you didn’t come out for a while, he took it upon himself to knock on the door.
“It’s Peter. Are you okay?” He asked through the door. He heard the sink turn off a few moments before you opened the door.
“I’m fine.” You said without trying very hard to convince him. He opened his mouth to say more, but decided you were probably in no mood for any form of comfort from him. You were staring at him through your tear smudged black mascara, almost daring him to try to cheer you up. Instead, he silently pulled a tissue out of his pocket and handed it to you. You looked down at it and he couldn’t sworn he saw the tightest hint of a smile from you. You took it, gave him an appreciative nod, and went on your way.
Peter kept his eyes on you for the next hour. The party was dying out, making it easier for him to keep track of you. When he saw you repeatedly opening and closing the clasp of your left earring, he knew he was running out of time.
“You heading out?” He made his way over to ask you.
“Oh. Uh, yes actually. How’d you know?”
“I saw you playing with your earrings. That usually means your social battery ran out ten minutes ago.”
“How could you possibly see that from the other room?” You cracked a smile as you asked him.
“You’re the only thing I see.” He said simply. Your teasing smile turned into a sad one and you looked away.
“So, um, I know you said you hate my guts, but I think it would be good for us to talk sometime. Do you still like that coffee shop near the movie theater?” Peter asked timidly.
“I haven’t been there since we were together.” You shook your head. Peter was about to ask why not, but he knew why not. You didn’t want to go there because you didn’t want to risk seeing him.
“Could I take you there? I just want to have one conversation. To clear the air and everything.”
“Peter, you broke up with me on a post-it note.” You reminded him. “I don’t care what you want.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. What do you want?” He finally asked.
“To get past you and go home.” You answered and pointed towards the front door.
“I’ll walk you.”
“That’s okay. I don’t need a chaperone.”
“It’s late and we’re not close to the subway. It could be dangerous.” He told you, wanting to add “and you’re wasted”, but didn’t.
“I’ll take the risk.” You said as you moved past him to get to the door. Peter made the bold move to stand in front of you to block you, hoping you would understand when you were sober.
“Don’t be stubborn. I’m walking you. I’ll walk a few paces back so you can have your space.” He stated, making you roll your eyes.
“Fine. But I’m gonna fart a bunch so you have to walk through it.” You grumbled and let him walk with you out of the apartment.
“That’s fine. Whatever you need.” Peter nodded. You stopped walking and looked at him with a smirk.
“Jesus.” You laughed. “I was joking.”
“Oh. Sorry.” He smiled in embarrassment.
Peter kept his promise and walked a few paces behind you. He sent Ned a quick text about where he had gone, to which Ned replied with several suggestive emojis. Peter rolled his eyes and put his phone away so that he could keep a close eye on you. The cold New York air felt amazing after having been in that apartment with all those people. You were stumbling a little from being intoxicated and looked over your shoulder every so often to make sure he was there. When you were about halfway home, you turned around.
“This is weird.” You said as you shoved your hands in your pockets and walked up to him.
“What is?”
“Knowing you’re behind me. I think it’s putting me more on edge than if I was walking alone. I keep forgetting it’s you and getting freaked out by the footsteps.”
“I can walk lighter.” He offered. You shrugged and kept going, with Peter taking lighter footsteps this time.
“It’s not working.” You sighed. “I still know you’re there.”
“I could go across the street?” He suggested, but you shook your head.
“Come on. Walk next to me. But don’t talk to me.” You warned him. He nodded and quickly fell into step beside you. He snuck what he hoped were discreet glances at you every now and then. It was so insane to him to be walking beside you after believing he’d never get the chance to talk to you again. Every time he looked at you, he got a pang in his heart that radiated in his whole body. And everytime he remembered the interactions between you and Kelly that he witnessed, he felt white hot anger coarse through his body.
“Just ask.” You said, breaking the silence.
“What? I didn’t say anything.”
“Your face did. Just ask me what you’ve been dying to ask me.” You permitted him. Peter hesitated, then went for it.
“So, you and Kelly?”
“Oh my God.” You laughed. “Of course.”
“How long have you been together?”
“We’re not. It’s not serious.“
“Oh. So you guys just social distance and talk about unsexy things together?” He asked, making you laugh again.
“That about sums it up.” You nodded in agreement.
“Is he good to you?” Peter asked, making you give him a look.
“You’re nice to pretend you didn’t see us fighting.”You sighed. “But to answer your question, when his eyes aren’t wandering, yeah, he can be pretty nice.”
“His eyes wander from you? Not possible.”
“Very possible.” You told him. “And constant.“
“Why do you stay with him then? Why even give him the time of day?”
“It’s complicated. College can be really lonely.” You shrugged. “But he tells me that I’m pretty and kisses my head before he leaves. So it’s okay that he doesn’t see me as an equal.”
“Is it okay?” Peter asked you, making you give him another look.
“No.” You admitted. “But, you know, college can be really lonely.”
“Yeah. I get that.” Peter nodded along. “I don’t get you with him, though. I saw how he was tonight. Showing up late, leaving early, talking to other girls. That guy is an idiot. He’s not good enough for you.”
“No, he’s not.” You agreed. “But we accept the love we think we deserve or whatever the stupid tumblr quote is.”
“You don’t deserve that.” Peter stated. “Fuck Kelly, and his little blue book.”
You stopped walking and laughed at his joke before nodding to the building you were standing next to.
“Thanks for walking me. This is me.”
“Wait, you still live here?” Peter asked when he recognized the building.
“I do. But a different apartment. Remember that pipe in my bathroom?”
“That dripped hot water on your head when you least expected it? Sure do.”
“Well, it burst, so I had to move out.”
“You didn’t happen to leave the window open in the winter, did you?” He asked you, always knowing the answer.
“I still think that’s a myth.” You prefaced. “But yes, the pipe happened to explode after I happened to forget to close the window last January.”
“Totally not your fault.” He teased. “Do you like the new place?”
“Eh. It’s okay.”
“Did you hang all your sun-catchers back up?” He asked, causing you to look at him in surprise.
“I did.” You told him with a slight smile. “But one of them broke in the move.”
The fleeting image of Peter’s back being painted with rainbow light from your cardinal shaped sun catcher flashed in your mind. You blinked it away and turned your face, worried that if you looked at him too long, you’d start to cry.
“Not the frog one, right?” He asked, making you chuckle. You had bought that one together on your first trip out of the city.
“No, not the frog one. That one’s okay.” You said with a sad smile. You and Peter stared at each other for a while and he had the same longing smile that you did. You had to look away again, fearing that if you didn’t, you’d invite him to come inside.
“I should go.” Peter said to break the silence, and you just nodded in agreement. He began to step forwards, but felt like his legs were full of cement.
“I can’t move.” He told you, making you frown.
“Why not?”
“Because this might be the last time I ever see you.”
“Well, I don’t know. I didn’t expect to see you tonight. Maybe we’ll run into each other at a Best Buy or something in a few years.” You shrugged, making his heart sink.
“That makes me sad.” He admitted without meeting your eyes.
“Well, what did you expect would happen to us when you broke up with me?”
“I guess I always thought I’d get my life together and you’d…” He trailed off when he realized how stupid he sounded.
“And what? I’d be waiting for you?” You laughed dryly. “For my gallant hero to outrun his demons and come back to me? And reward me for patiently waiting and keeping my life at a standstill until he returned?”
“No. It’s not like that.” He shook his head. “I knew we were in wildly different places in our lives, and that you were going to be far better off without me dragging you down. I thought it would be some kind of a messed up favor to you to get rid of myself so that your life could go on. But I guess I thought we’d meet again one day when we were different people and…..”
“And?” You asked he he trailed off again.
“And remember why we fell in love.” He admitted, just in case this really was the last time you ever saw each other.
“It doesn’t really work like that, Peter. Life goes on. You made the decision to leave. We are different people now, but that doesn’t erase what happened.”
“I know. I know I can never undo what I did. I just…I just hope I see you sooner than a few years in a Best Buy.”
You were quiet for a minute and folded your arms as you looked at him. You stared for such a long time that Peter felt his face heat up.
“I go to the one around the block.” You said finally.
“What?”
“The coffee shop. I stopped going to the one by the movie theater and started going to the one around the block.”
“The one with the scary guy that yelled at you for taking too long to order?” He asked. “I thought you were never gonna go back there.”
“He’s pretty nice, actually. He was high strung that year because his husband had just passed. But he gave me a free scone when I came in here a few days after we broke up. He said he could tell I needed it.”
“Wow.” Peter smiled sadly. “I drove you to the point of visibly needing a scone.”
“Eh, I kinda live at that point. Don’t give yourself too much credit.”
“I won’t.” He chuckled. You smiled back at him, the first full smile you’d given him all night. Suddenly, your expression changed and the color drained from your lips. Peter was quick to hold your hair off your face as the last few drinks you’d had that night came back up. Peter blew on the back of your neck while he waited for you to be done.
“That was hot.” You groaned as you stood back up.
“It was.” Peter chuckled and timidly rubbed your back.
“You can go. The Cool Ranch Doritos I ate about to make a reappearance and I don’t want you to see that.”
“Give me your key.” Peter said and held it his hand. You dug in your pocket and placed your key in the palm of his hand. He unlocked the front door of your apartment and ushered you inside. The doritos made their reappearance in the trash can of the lobby while Peter explained your situation to the doorman.
He let the two of you up and Peter somehow found himself in your apartment. It looked pretty similar to the last one, with several cabinets open due to your habit of taking things out and walking away. Your roommate’s door was closed, so Peter quietly led you to the bathroom. He couldn’t help but look around and try to gather bits and pieces of information about your new life. The candles that you burned the most, the things you hung on your fridge, and the various trinkets you kept on your coffee table. He absorbed it all as he got you a glass of water, wondering if the brightly colored cups in your cabinets were your idea or your roommates.
“This is not how I imagined tonight would end.” He laughed numbly as he handed you the cup of water. You gave him a gracious smile and then chugged it, hoping you’d be able to keep it down. He helped you get up off the bathroom floor and leaned against the wall while you brushed your teeth.
“How did you imagine it?” You wondered. “Like, what would’ve been your ideal outcome when you realized I was at the party tonight?”
“That’s a good question.” Peter said as he thought. “I think I would just want us to be okay with each other. We had so much love between us at one time. I hate that the way I left tarnished that.”
You rinsed your mouth out and stared at him in the reflection of the mirror for a while. It seemed like you were processing something, or maybe you were just sobering up and remembering how much you hated him.
“Then why did you do it?” You asked finally. “Why a post-it note? Why didn’t you just wake me up? Or end things before I went to sleep?“
“I couldn’t face you. I couldn’t look you in the eyes and tell you it was over.”
“Why not?” You demanded. Peter looked visibly surprised at the abrupt display of anger, making you look down at the sink in embarrassment.
“I want to say I didn’t want to see you look devastated, but I think I really didn’t want to see you look relieved.” Peter admitted without meeting your eyes. You actually appreciated his candor and smiled sadly, but still had a hardened look in your eyes that told Peter he was not yet forgiven.
“Can I ask you something?” He said in a wavering voice.
“Depends on what it is.”
“Did you ever think about me? Like, when you were waiting for an elevator or something? Did I ever cross your mind?”
Peter looked so small and fragile that you almost stepped forward and hugged him. You laughed humorlessly and nodded your head.
“Of course. Of course you did. I saw you in every pair of brown eyes I looked into since we broke up.” You admitted. That was the enough to break the dam and Peter found himself unable to contain his feelings any longer.
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry about everything. All the missed dates and calls I didn’t return. All the nights I left you waiting until you fell asleep next to the plate you left out for me. And for leaving the way I did. You deserved so much better than what I gave you.”
“Wow.” You cracked a smile. “Look who’s found his words.”
“I know they’re late. But better late than never, right?” He said with a self deprecating smile.
“Never would’ve been okay with me.”
“Really? You would’ve been okay if we never saw each other again? Even just to tell me off about how much of an asshole I was?”
“But that’s the thing, Peter. You weren’t an asshole. You were a good guy who was dealing with something I couldn’t help you with. You went about it in the shittiest way possible, but you were right to end our relationship. You clearly couldn’t be in one at the time. And I don’t think you realized that until you were writing on that post-it.”
Peter stared at you in stunned silence for a moment. It was just like you to humanize him, even after he’d hurt you in ways that changed you to your core. He looked away in shame, knowing he was nowhere near as evolved as you were.
“You could always read me like no one else could.” He said quietly.
“I thought I could. But I still don’t know what it was that you were going through. I tried to figure it out, but I never did discover the cause of the wedge between us.” You said, causing him to look back at you. You had a look on your face that brought his mind back to a picture of you he’d seen at your mom’s house. In the picture, you were just a kid, staring at the ocean with a life jacket twice the size of you. The same curious but fearful look on your face was present now.
“There was only one reason I left.” Peter said before he could stop himself. You looked at him like you were trying to decide if he was messing with you or not. Peter felt anxiety in his chest, recognizing this as the last moment you would ever see him in this way. Instead of telling you and going through the motions of you not believing him, he shot a web at a hairbrush on your floor and handed it to you. Your eyes went back and forth between the hairbrush and Peter about a hundred times. Finally, you slowly peeled the web off the back of the brush and held it up to give it a good look.
“You’re joking.” You said finally, no humor in your voice.
“I’m not.” Peter shook his head.
“Do it again.” You demanded and dropped the web into the trash. So Peter did it again, this time at your hand towel. He caught it with ease before handing it to you, which turned out to be a big mistake.
“You’re Spider-Man? You’re the fucking Spider-Man?” You asked as you smacked his shoulder with the towel. He let you hit him a few times before snatching the towel away from you.
“I am.”
“And you have been the whole time? Even when we were together?” You asked him as you visibly processed what you had just seen.
“Since before we got together.” He told you, making you start your processing all over. Your entire relationship played in your head and suddenly, all the missed dates on the night’s major crimes happened in the city made sense. You rubbed your face with your hands and sat in silence for a long time before looking at him.
“Is this why you left me? So I wouldn’t find out your secret?” You asked him in a quiet voice. Peter looked down in shame and nodded his head.
“The night I left, you and I got interviewed by the local news about our thoughts on the upcoming hurricane.”
“Oh my God. I forgot all about that.” You realized. “We were running to the bodega for ice cream. I had said I hoped we didn’t run into anyone we knew since I didn’t have my makeup on, and then we ended up on the news.”
“We did.” He smiled softly. “And in our interview, I said I was happy to have a girlfriend that buys too many blankets in case the power goes out.”
“I’m not following.”
“In that moment, I realized that if someone ever figured out my identity and wanted to hurt me, they could go after you. I called you my girlfriend on camera without even thinking about it. And all it would take is one person looking me up and seeing that video for you to be in danger. I couldn’t live myself knowing that dating you meant putting a target on your back.”
“So you threw us away because of a possibility?” You asked, sounding unsatisfied with his reasoning.
“It’s not just a possibility. Do you remember my Aunt May?” He asked you. You were about to ask what she had to do with your current conversation until you put two and two together. You did remember his Aunt May. More so, you remembered the way Peter never gave any definitive details on how she died.
“She knew about my secret and got too involved, and it got her killed. So it wasn’t just a possibility to me. It felt like it was only a matter of time before you got hurt or even worse because of me.”
“I didn’t know.” You said quietly.
“I didn’t want you to ever know. That’s why I wrote you the note on the post-it and left in the middle of the night. I thought if you hated me, you’d never come looking for me. And that would keep you safe.”
The change in perspective made the room spin slightly. You gripped the cold counter to ground yourself as your knees threatened to give out. Peter could tell you were struggling and stepped closer to you. He gently rested his hands on your waist to steady you. You looked up at him through your eyelashes and gave him a small appreciative smile.
“But what about now? Why tell me now?”
“Because you deserve to know the truth.” He said. “And it’s been so many years since we dated that we’re not gonna get back together. So there’s not really any harm in you knowing now.”
“But, just out of curiosity, does my knowing mean that now we can never be together?” You asked with a mischievous glint in your eyes. Peter’s eyebrows knit together, feeling apprehensive to read into your question.
“Why do you ask?” He asked as struggle to keep his gaze from falling to your lips. You reached up and gently ran your fingernails on his cheek, causing him to instantly melt into your touch. Peter hesitantly reached up and wrapped a hand gently around your wrist.
“Because I’m starting to forget all the reasons I cried at your hands.” You admitted to him through a sad laugh. Peter mirrored your melancholy smile and tilted your face towards his by taking your chin between his fingers. You stared into his eyes and felt his familiar magnetic force pulling you into him.
“You’re not gonna kiss me.” You shrugged with a knowing look in your eyes.
“I’m not?” He played coy.
“You’re not.” You said most assuredly. “Peter Parker is too much of a gentleman to kiss a girl when she’s drunk.”
“It’s true.” He chucked. “And it definitely has nothing to do with the entire bag of Cool Ranch Doritos I saw you house down and then puke up.“
You leaned into him while you laughed and Peter wrapped two arms around you. He held you tightly and placed a kiss on the top of your head, noting that you used to same shampoo you did when you were together.
“That’s a good call. I don’t want to kiss you when I can feel those Doritos seeping out of my pores.” You told him as you pressed your cheek into his shoulder and gently swayed with him.
“Yeah.” He chuckled softly. “But I’d like to. You have no idea how much I’d like to.”
“I have some idea.” You told him as you pulled away and unabashedly stared at his lips. Peter leaned in but instead of kissing you, he grabbed the bottle of makeup remover from behind you and held it up.
“How about I do you even better and take your makeup off for you?” He asked. You threw your arms up in celebration and profusely nodded your head. Peter found your cotton balls and gently removed your makeup for you while you sat with your eyes shut and a content smile. When he finished, he went the extra mile and did your skincare for you. He’d seen you do it enough times back when you were dating that he was able to follow it the way you did. When he finished, he scooped you up off the counter and carried you out of the bathroom.
“Come on. I’m putting you to bed so it can be the morning faster.” He told you as he brought you to the room with your name marked on the door. Your laughter rang through your room as he gently placed you in your bed. You mumbled something incoherent once your head hit the pillow, already half asleep. Peter went to leave, but you caught his wrist and tugged him back.
“Hey, Spider-Man.” You said in a playfully demanding voice.
“Yes?” Peter chuckled. You seemed wide awake all the sudden and looked into his eyes.
“Are you gonna be there when I wake up this time?” You asked him, sounding completely serious.
“I’ll be there.” He promised you with no intention to disappoint you again. You smiled at him and rested your head back on your pillow, seeming to accept his answer.
“There’s a blanket on the couch you can use. There’s a lot, actually. I still buy too many. Goodnight Peter.” You said, eyes already shutting.
“Goodnight, honey.” Peter kissed his fingers and touched them to your forehead, not wanting to overstep but unable to just walk away.
When you woke up, Peter was gone. Your head was throbbing as you stared at the empty couch with a pit in your stomach. Before your heart could fully sink, you noticed the yellow post-it Peter had left on a newly folded blanket. Your hands shook as you picked it up, but it proved to be entirely different from the last time he left you a post-it.
“Went to get coffee around the block :)” He had penned in the same handwriting he once used to leave you. You cracked a smile at his risky joke just as Peter was coming back into your apartment with keys he had taken from the bowl by the door. He had two coffees in hand and a sleepy smile on his face.
“Good morning.” He greeted you as you walked over to him. “I took a guess at your order. I hope you still like-“
You cut him off by throwing your arms around him and kissing him, bringing you a feeling neither of you thought you would ever feel again.
“Oh, sorry. I thought you were Kelly.” You smiled teasingly when you pulled out of the kiss. Peter rolled his eyes to the ceiling before pulling you into another kiss.
“You were right about the coffee shop guy. He was very nice and gave me a scone when I said the coffee was for you.” Peter said as you walked to the kitchen together. You gasped in excitement and pulled the scone out of the little bag it was in before taking a big bite.
“Hey, you’re splitting that with me.” Peter warned you and pulled you by the waist towards him.
“I’m sorry.” You said with a mouthful of scone. “I can’t. Don’t hate me.”
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This was loosely based on “In My Head” by Nell Mescal and Sex and The City! 🍔
I'm at the point where I can only assume that Vanessa Hudgens and The Milk teamed up to assassinate you. RIP to an absolute legend o7 I will never forget the greatest writer on tumblr
I swear I’m like three sentences away from finishing my wip and then we will get our sneakers on and subsequently dance all night long
The day after I told you my sister referenced sneakernight, out of his 8000+ Spotify songs, a song from tick tick boom came on in her boyfriends car. I think this is just the year of her haunting the 2 of us specifically.
okay so I’m embarrassingly new at this, but when writing fics/oneshots on tumblr how does one determine that their work won’t be stolen? Like I seen someone stamp their work after, and had the whole rights reserved thing, but it was actually put out there? Whereas I don’t see other creators doing the same when it comes to fics, so is it just keep doing it in hopes that no one steals your work? Or is there something I’m missing… sorry for such a tech question!!! But I’m genuinely confused…
It’s a good question! Maybe other people take better preventative measures but I just kinda trust that people will have integrity and not steal other peoples work. It has happened to me a few times and my followers have helped me each time by reporting the person and getting it taken down. One time a minor stole my work and was saying people can’t report and get mad at them because they are a minor….
If I had a nickel for every internet person whose page I check triweekly(3x a week) for new content had referenced Sneakerdance by Vanessa Hudgens in the past month(?, maybe 2), I would have 2 nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird it happened twice (You and Blake Jennings' most recent Hear Me Out video, 6 min in, Just Dance segment)
you don't understand; this active era means EVERYTHING TO ME my hunger is finally satiated thanks dad !!please dont leave to get anymore milk im lactose intolerant anyways <3
Mmmm milk sounds good right now
what is beef, if not cow perservering? @waitimcomingtoo - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
