Walking Blindly

My husband is a United States Marine. He will be starting a medboard process to be relived of his duties within the next 30 days. This is our story.

[the-beauty-of-words-blog]

[walking--blindly-blog]

Friday

Last night we decided that we will resign our lease. Moving on base would only save us $26.00 a month and the hassle is definitely not worth it. He has been looking into colleges on the east coast and ... Colorado. We have been looking into leave dates before he gets out. Trying to figure out where in the US would be the best to live and if we could even afford living there.

Its a lot to take in all at once.

Really wishing I had someone to actually talk to face to face about all this.

Him and I try talking and we sit in confusion for hours scrolling through the internet looking for answers and so far absolutely nothing. I have a right to be stressed. I'm not overwhelmingly stressed, I'm concerned. Concerned that we wont be able to make our lives work outside of the military life we are accustomed too. Concerned that we wont agree on where we want to end up and how long we want to be there. Concerned that we might end up back home and right back to where we started freshly out of high school. Concerned that our whole life that we have created since we have been married will just... fall... apart.

He doesn't want that. He doesn't want me to be stressed/concerned/worried/freaked out. He wants me to be calm cool an collected about the whole situation. I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THAT.

So this is where I will be. Emptying every bit of my brain on here. Trying to sort out our life and my brain in private and then walking blindly onto the next course of our life beside him.

I have faith. Faith that everything that we need to happen will, faith that we can make it work. Faith that we will make it through this unscathed. Faith that our next chapter will be even better than the first.  

Just have faith Meaghan, Just let it be.

[walking--blindly-blog]

Thursday

Thursday he had a neurology appointment. We've been working with this neurologist since March and things have seemingly been going well. He's run tests, he's asked about his past, he's been checking up on him frequently. We really thought that he was going to be the guy to figure out what was causing all of this.

So, Tuesday morning we drive down to the hospital with all the paperwork in hand from the hospital visit in town on Tuesday, prepared to inform the Dr. about what had happened. After the routine vital check and a balance, vision and reflex analysis, we finally get to talk to the Dr. After all is said and done the Dr. "diagnosis" him.

"These have been reoccurring, they are very random, and never the same. In that case we cannot classify them as seizures. But we can give you a medication to control the 'seizure-like' symptoms that you have been having. You will take 1 tablet twice a day every day for a week, than up the dosage to 2 tablets twice a day everyday and stay on that dosage until further notice. No here is the next step. you cannot be a Marine and be having 'seizures' we are going to have to start you on a medboard as soon as you are in a stable condition..."

Okay... "stable condition"? So basically you are telling us that you have run out of options and have no clue what is causing this or what it is. So you are just going to give him something and hope that it keeps him from seizing? Alright, well you are the Dr. and we will play your little game...

"In a month we will meet again and see how things are going and then start you on the medboard"

We saw this coming, but we.. I was hoping they could figure something out and actually help solve my husbands issues. So home we went, trying to wrap our brains around what our next step would be.

[walking--blindly-blog]

Tuesday

Tuesday he had another seizure... this is number 2 confirmed and number 5 or 6 in total. He was at work, had PT earlier that morning, completely exhausted and put his head down on his desk to catch a few minutes of shut eye. He hadn't slept very well in over a week. Next thing he knows, he's on the ground surrounded by a bunch of people, pain in his head, soreness in his muscles and is being rushed off to the hospital.

I'm at home. In bed. I didn't need to be at work until 2pm that day. I get a call at 9:36am from an unknown Georgia number. I don't know anyone from here so I ignore it. 9:44am I receive another call from the same number. This person is persistent so I answer.

"Good Morning, is this Cpl .....'s wife?" "Yes it is, why?" "Your husband seems to have had another seizure and is in the hospital at ....." "Are you kidding me? Is he ok?! Is he stable?!" Yes ma'am, he is stable. and you can go see him at anytime. please bring him some civvies so that he can be comfortable and Cpl ... is on his way there also" "Oh my goodness, thank you so much for calling and letting me know! I'm on my way right now." Click 

So off to the hospital I go, not after I get dressed, take the dogs to potty, call work, let them know I may be late, get 2 more calls from people trying to contact me to let me know that he is in the hospital. And finally im there.

He is in the ER, strapped down on a stretcher, head confined in a brace, not knowing at all what really just happened.

"Babe! im here! What happened?" "Im not to sure, one minute im trying  take a nap, next I know m on the floor and being taken the ER"

After about 4 hours of waiting on doctors, running tests, trying figure out what happened and finding  goose egg bigger than a golf ball on his forehead, and sucking down a few bags of fluid via IV, we are on our way home.

Was told to take the day off of work, put the pups in daycare and watching him sleep 6 hours is how the remainder of the day panned out.