I'm late, I'm late

Wallace White 53 The White Rabbit I’m fighting myself. I know I am. One minute I want to remember. The next minute I want to live in the land of forgetting. One minute I want to feel. The next minute I never want to feel ever again.

[wallacewhite]

rabbitsrebel‌:

Cilla blinked at him, dumbfounded. “Are you seriously asking me that?” She asked, narrowing her gaze. She stood up and began pacing restlessly around her room. “Seriously? What’s the problem? I don’t know. Maybe the fact that the crown is practically cursed and that, historically everyone who’s sat on the throne has gone completely mental and become a power-hungry tyrant. Maybe it’s because it looks like he’s hunting down wanderers. Maybe it’s because the death of Alice looks exceptionally suspicious, especially when you remember he wants to round up wanderers. Maybe it’s because he’s the bastard who decided to confine every dangerous deadly thing to Tulgey and got Mum killed.” Cilla’s voice remained low and steady as she listed her reasons to distrust the king. Her hands, however, betrayed her anger, as she balled them into fists to keep from shaking.

“So you replace the King with what... whatever happens they’ll go insane. We chose Gideon all those years ago and history still repeated itself” and always would. He didn’t see how anyone wouldn’t go mad sitting on that throne, no matter how conscious. The pacing was instantly making his own heart rate raise, and all he really wanted to do was run. But for now he had to somehow stay sitting, stay calm, and hope she hadn’t noticed the fact he was trying to take deep breathes so as not to go into flight mode. “There’s no proof Alice is dead” other then the fact he knew for certain, and knew who had done it. “So that’s it... you blame him for your mother’s death” and he wanted to, it would be so easy. But Whitney knew what was in the woods, and she had chosen to go in. 

[wallacewhite]

rabbitsrebel‌:

Her heart twinged at the mention of her mother. The smirk on her face faded into a pensive expression as she looked down at her hands. Wringing her fingers, she looked for something to say. “She didn’t see them?” It had been a while since any of them had spoken about their mother with each other. 

“Really? I think forcing me to dance with him for the rest of time would be a fairly good method of torture. I’d be begging for them to put me out of my misery in the first minute.” She quipped dryly. “And I’m not entertaining these thoughts for just me. If they do much worse to me, it will be because I wanted to help more than just myself. If I wanted to help myself I’d shut up and stay quietly in my room and not bother anyone ever again.”

It was never an easy subject to bring up, one that his mind actively fought against him doing. It should have been him that night, Whitney deserved to live, his kids deserved her living. Not this. “She could... but only if she knew they were there”.

He glanced down for a moment, “that isn’t torture, that’s dancing. If they really wanted information from us... we’d still be in the palace” thankfully not, he could only hope that meant they had just been for show and nothing more. They were safe if it was nothing more... well not safe, he knew he was still the weakest link in what had happened to Alice, because he was the one who hadn’t wanted to do it. “Then what exactly is it? I can’t stand the man, but he has at least brought Wonderland together after the Queens. What is it that’s the problem?” 

[wallacewhite]

rabbitsrebel‌:

“How do you find them?” She asked. The twins were going to need to find a way out quickly. If they could get out before the Crimson King even knew they were there, that would be best. Safe? Cilla snorted. “As safe as someone who entertains thoughts of treason can be.” She said with a little smirk. “Though I will say I felt less safe than usual at the ball, but that probably had something to do with the King practically interrogating while dancing with me.”

“That’s harder to explain...” he knew he needed to, needed to somehow figure it out because they were not safe whilst the twins remained in Wonderland. “I was never really looking for them, I’d just find them. Always found them easy to see, even when... even when your mother didn’t” they could be standing right next to one, and she just didn’t see it. He didn’t really know why he could, just observation really. “Not safe at all” it was why he tried to just accept the situation, rather then fight it. “Given the circumstances, a dance is possible the least of your worries, they will do much worse if you let this become any more than thoughts”.

[wallacewhite]

rabbitsrebel‌:

She let go of the window conversation. It wasn’t worth getting into it. There were more important topics to discuss.

She still wasn’t entirely sure as to which side of the chess board her father was on. Perhaps it would be better to answer cautiously. “They’re safe.” She began, watching him to see how he might react. “They’re trying to figure out how exactly to get home, though according to you it isn’t as easy to get back once you’re here. It’s unpredictable.”

“That’s the ancient magic of Wonderland, can’t control it despite what people think. All I can do is find them when they do open” it was how he had met Alice the first time. Really he should never have gone through it, and to think he hadn’t learnt his lesson. “Alright... and are you safe?” 

[wallacewhite]

rabbitsrebel‌:

“It’s not as much fun.” She said. She’d grown to enjoy scaling the wall. There was a sense of adventure in it. 

Sighing, She set herself down on the foot of her bed, crossing her arms across her chest. “So, now that there isn’t the threat of being overheard, what do you want to know?” She fidgeted, more than a little uncomfortable with the situation. 

“That’s what this is about?” he didn’t really believe it. But he didn’t know what to believe, he hadn’t for a long time.

It was a dangerous question, one he didn’t know how to answer. Better to start easy for now, “where are the twins?” ok, that wasn’t easy, but he just wanted to know if they had got out of the party.

[wallacewhite]

rabbitsrebel‌:

“I like to smell the flowers,” She said, taking her cape and hanging it on a hook. So there was no postponing this any further- that much was clear. It wasn’t often that she came home to her father waiting. It had been more frequent when she was still a teenager climbing in at all hours of the night, but now that she was an adult, she came and went mostly unnoticed. 

“So,” She said slowly, beginning to unpack her things from her bag. “Is now time for out ‘later’ talk?” She asked, dreading the answer. 

“That doesn’t really explain the hatred of the door” he replied, no he could hardly punish her over it. For a start she was a fully grown adult, but really if that was what she wanted to do it wasn’t that much of a problem. He was just worried about why she wanted to do it. 

He wanted to say no, wanted to pretend he didn’t know about this. “Has to be sooner it later”. 

[wallacewhite]

rabbitsrebel‌:

Since the ball, Cilla wasn’t too eager to run into her father. Things had been said and despite the majority of their conversation being entirely in code, they had understood each other clearly. She wasn’t sure she was ready to have the conversation where they could speak frankly without the risk of being overheard. So Cilla was left with her preferred method of getting to her bed without having to talk to anyone- climbing through the window.

Cilla slung her bag over her shoulder, stretching a little before she began her ascent up the side of the trellis beneath her window. She wiggled her window open and slipped inside. Dropping her bag on the floor, she almost jumped a solid three feet in the air when she caught a glimpse of a familiar face watching her in the mirror. “Is this supposed to be an intervention or something?” She asked, trying to catch her breath.

@wallacewhite

Wallace had long since realised his daughter’s preferred method of getting in and out of the house. For the most part he left well enough alone, maybe making sure the window actually was unlocked, but that was all. If things really were that desperate... he wasn’t sure what other options he really had. Though since the ball he was wondering if there was anything left now. Especially as Cilla didn’t know the worst part of what he’d done.

He had realised when she had started climbing the tree, and gone up to hopefully at least try and talk to her for once. He’d put it off for a few days, but after everything they had implied at the ball, he also knew they needed straight answers. “Intervention for what? Using the window? That’s your choice, an odd one, but yours to make”.

[wallacewhite]

paigesofanewbook‌:

Paige raked her lower lip with her teeth as she looked toward the door, then quickly back down at her feet. She inhaled deeply, watching her wiggling toes until she finally felt the need to exhale. 

“Yes, I suppose you’re right… It, uh… It probably seems silly, me needing to muster up the courage like this…”

“I don’t think it’s silly” he replied, shaking his head as he spoke. How could he? He had spent all day doing the same thing. “What’s the phrase? Six impossible things... suppose it’s just a matter of looking at walking in the door as one of those”. 

[wallacewhite]

rabbitsrebel‌:

She gave him a curt nod. He had a point- Thea and Willem were at an even greater risk than usual so long as they were in the palace. Slinging back what little remained of her drink, she placed the empty glass atop a nearby table. Looking at her father, she tried to find something of the man she remembered when she was a child. When her mother was still around. She’d looked up to him then. But maybe she just couldn’t see the fear that laced the very essence of his being yet. She wouldn’t be afraid. She’d be strong like her mother. “I should go make sure she’s alright.”

And perhaps all he had done was create even more damage in an already tense relationship. That had never been his intention, not really. He was too aware that his children would all be a lot safer if he was no where near them, but at the same time they were still his children. The whole situation had just become a complicated mess. Not for the first time, he wished it had been him in the woods that day, Whitney would have been able to handle all of this so much better then he ever could. She was the one they had needed. “Do that” but he wouldn’t say that if it came down to it, he would chose his own children over Alice’s. “The rest of this we can talk about where the walls don’t have ears”. 

[wallacewhite]

rabbitsrebel‌:

The hope in her eyes was snuffed out as quickly as it had appeared, like a candle in a hurricane. Her expression grew guarded and cold. She drew herself up, standing tall, chin raised slightly. She wouldn’t let him see that it hurt. She took a sip of her drink and sighed, smoothing the fabric of her skirt out. “Fine.” Was all that she could manage to say.

No, she didn’t understand it, and he hoped she would never have to. But history was repeating itself. Another group of rebels, all so hopeful... they didn’t know the cost yet. If it was just him, he wouldn’t care about paying it, but he would not risk his children’s lives, and if Wonderland burned because of it... he’d just have to live with that. “Just get her out of here. They’re only chance is if the King never learns about them”. 

[wallacewhite]

rabbitsrebel‌:

He had a fair point. After the dust settled, who would figure out what the next move for the greater good of Wonderland would be? They could use someone like… 

“Then join us.” She said quickly, the tiniest bit of hope gleaming in her eyes. Maybe this was how she made things right with her father. “Join us and help us figure out what comes after the game.”

If she was trying to give him a heart attack from worry and stress, she was definitely going about it the right way. “And the rebellion would be destroyed within a week” he replied simply. “There is something I will always put above Wonderland... above everything else. The king knows it, what do you think that message was about” well he had to at least try and explain it, though perhaps that really was the step too far.

[wallacewhite]

paigesofanewbook‌:

Paige pressed her lips together and held her hands in front of her, her whole body tense with anxiety telling her to just walk back the other way. But while her body told her to panic, her mind told her to focus on this man. Though his worries seemed lesser, it always helped her to forget her own.

“I, uh… I think you should head in there, then. I’m sure it’s not that bad. Drinks, food, dancing… I’m sure they’re wondering where you are.”

“That, I doubt” and whilst his children were his entire universe, he was well aware that he was far from being a good father to them. The fact they even still talked to him was a miracle in his eyes. And also concerning given that he knew they were hardly safe with his own past.

“If you’re sure. Though standing out here might not be the safest thing to do” then again being inside might not be the safest thing, but he wasn’t sure where was.

[wallacewhite]

rabbitsrebel‌:

She wasn’t sure she could talk about this with him, period. He seemed convinced she was on the losing side of this battle. “Well, I don’t much feel like changing my title.” She was the Rabbit’s Rebel, alright. In more ways than one. “I’m hardly a player at all right now. Just an observer looking for a way to win so that when I step up to the board, I know just the right moves to make.”

Well if there was any doubts about whose daughter she was, hearing that was enough to crush them. He and Whitney had said similar things when they had been her age. But he had learnt the hard way what really happened. He had seen almost all of the Queen of Hearts court crushed, and been more involved in that awful war that followed then he’d have liked. Sure, he hated the current King, but least things were relatively peaceful right now. “That’s the problem. It isn’t who wins or loses that matters. It’s what comes next. No one ever focuses on that part, only the game itself”. 

[wallacewhite]

rabbitsrebel‌:

Cilla frowned. She’d thought at first that maybe he’d be on her side with this, but it didn’t seem that way. 

“What’s the point in not trying at all. I think it would be much worse to throw my hands in the air and stare at the ground and pretend not to take notice of what’s happening. There’s got to be a way to end the game. Permanently.”

It was beginning to feel like he couldn’t breathe. He could barely cope thinking about this anyway, and their location really wasn’t helping matters. “We can’t talk about this here” though they needed to, that much he didn’t think he could ignore anymore. “Cilla I know this game, I know the consequences and I know how it ends. I love you, and the last thing I want to see is them dragging you away for playing” his voice was practically a whisper at this stage, not wanting to risk the already tense situation,

[wallacewhite]

rabbitsrebel‌:

“Really?” Cilla smiled, raising an eyebrow. “Were they as stubborn?” Despite the situation and the conversation, there was something quite nice about this. She couldn’t remember the last time she spoke candidly with her father. 

And just like that, it was gone. That certainly wasn’t the answer she was looking for. “There’s always a way to win at chess. You just need to be thinking a few steps ahead. That is how you win the game.”

“More so then anyone else I’ve met” even Whitney couldn’t quite compare, and there was a time that she had been the most stubborn person he had ever known. He had loved her more for it. “They did what they thought was right, no matter the consequences” and he had helped have her killed because he couldn’t handle the consequences if he didn’t...they were right, he was a coward.

He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, “isn’t the game that worries me. It’s the fact the game will restart as soon as it ends” and with their luck, it would just get worse.

[wallacewhite]

rabbitsrebel‌:

“I know, but I think she still would have come if someone had chained her to the spot.” She admired the girl for her determination. It was something that she respected. Cilla was known to do stupid, reckless things, but even she wasn’t so sure she’d walk straight into the home of someone who very obviously wanted her dead. 

Cilla groaned, rubbing her temples. “Wonderful. So there’s no way of knowing for certain? She’ll love to hear that.” She stood, near frozen at her father’s question. She wasn’t sure how much she could say in the open- people anywhere could be listening, and they’d already said far too much. “I think I’d like to win a game of chess.” She said. She wanted to take out the king. Checkmate. She gave him a pointed look, hoping he’d get the message. 

He smiled softly at that, “well... given her parentage that does not surprise me” he was careful how he worded it. But Alice had been the girl who had followed a rabbit down a rabbit hole one day, was it really so surprising her children were just as reckless?

“It’s magic... ancient magic. Despite what everyone might want to believe, we have no control over it” and he also knew it would always exist in Wonderland. It would be comforting if it wasn’t so damn terrifying. At her words he smiled, more so if anyone was watching they wouldn’t think anything. “That’s the thing about chess, I’ve played it... no one ever wins”.

[wallacewhite]

paigesofanewbook‌:

“That was kind of you…”

Paige forced a smile and nodded her head politely in acknowledgement, trying her best to get out of the situation with as little embarrassment as possible. Of course, with Paige, that wasn’t very easy…

“No, they’re not,” she answered simply, her voice softer as if she didn’t want the words to carry too far. Then, quickly to change the attention off of herself again, she asked, “Yours?”

Kind... there was something he hadn’t been called in a long time. Probably since Alice had been last been in Wonderland. If he was noticed at all it was coward. He didn’t mind, they were right after all, more then anyone would realise.

“Yes” though why he didn’t know. This whole thing was strange. “Though I imagine they’ve already gone inside. First time invited to something like this” well that he knew about.