wanda and agatha incorrect quotes

❝ a baby witch, obsessed with sitcoms and years of therapy ahead of her. ❞

[wandagatha-incorrect-quotes]

Wanda: Guess what, Agatha?

Agatha: What?

Wanda: I'm getting married!

Agatha, smiling through the pain: Oh that's great Wanda! Who are you-

Wanda, slamming down a marriage certificate: It's you, sign here.

[wandagatha-incorrect-quotes]

Wanda: I've made my decision.

Wanda: I want to...

Wanda: ...start crying.

[wandagatha-incorrect-quotes]

Agatha: I've never been in a snowball fight before. I don't know the rules.

Agatha: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

[wandagatha-incorrect-quotes]

Wanda: Can you keep a secret?

Agatha: Well, I'm good until I meet the next person.

[wandagatha-incorrect-quotes]

Wanda: I know you tried to steal my magic, Agatha.

Agatha's inner voice: Play dumb!

Agatha: Who's Agatha?

Agatha's inner voice: Not that dumb!

[wandagatha-incorrect-quotes]

Darcy: Hey Wanda, are you free on Friday? Like, around 8pm on Friday?

Wanda: Yes.

Darcy: Agatha, what about you?

Agatha: Sure?

Darcy: Great! Because I am not. You two go without me. Enjoy your date.

Wanda: Did she just-

[wandagatha-incorrect-quotes]

Agatha: I identify as moronsexual. I'm attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively.

Wanda, while doing magic: I can't be a witch because nobody taught me magic.

Agatha, already taking off her clothes: Wanda, hon, you're such an idiot.

[wandagatha-incorrect-quotes]

Wanda: *does anything*

Agatha:

[wandagatha-incorrect-quotes]

Wanda: Now that Agatha and I are married, I refer to her as "my first wife".

Wanda: To remind her that reality is easily changed and she's easy to replace.

[wandagatha-incorrect-quotes]

Monica: Agatha! What is this?

Agatha: It's my to-do list.

Monica: Oh that's great! You're starting to be-

Monica:

Monica: This just says "Wanda".

[wandagathaincorrectquotes]

Wanda: Wait did you just flirt with me?!

Agatha: Have been for the past year, but thanks for noticing.

[wandagatha-incorrect-quotes]

Agatha: I've never had a best friend before.

Wanda: Well, I'll be your best friend.

Agatha:

Agatha: I've never had a girlfriend either.

[wandagatha-incorrect-quotes]

Wanda: The way I saw it I had two options. I could either go to therapy, get professional help and work on bettering my life.

Wanda: Or I could get bangs.

Darcy: So you chose bangs...

Wanda: Agatha said she liked them.

Darcy: Agatha's a liar.

[wandagatha-incorrect-quotes]

Agatha: How long does your ideal hug last?

Wanda: Thirty to forty-five minutes.

Agatha: That seems really impractical.

Wanda: You said ideal, not realistic.

[wandagatha-incorrect-quotes]

Darcy: Why is Wanda crying?

Agatha: She took a "which avenger are you?" quiz.

Monica: And?

Wanda, sobbing in the background: I DON'T WANT TO BE IRONMAN!

[wandagatha-incorrect-quotes]

Agatha: Your existence is confusing.

Wanda: How so?

Agatha: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me.

[wandagatha-incorrect-quotes]

Wanda: How do people just stay motivated their entire lives? What drives you? I got out of bed once and I've been exhausted ever since.

Agatha: You need to learn to hate life to the point where you want revenge on existence itself.