Queer Spoonie 🌿🦂🌿

Montréal, QC, 🇨🇦 ☀Noah/Dali☀️ il/iel/they/ze Genderqueer artist 💬français, 💬english ~A side blog (main is @lebeaucercle) for me to write about my diagnostic wandering. I'm 22, genderqueer, and have been living with different degrees of chronic pain and hypermobility since the age of 8. I'm hoping things might change in the next year 🌟~ This space is to express ups and downs, remember info, vent, get perspective, inform and hopefully connect with the #spoonie community.

[wandering-genderqueer-spoonie]

Poorly accessible public transport in Tiohtiá:ke /Montreal

To get to my therapist appointment yesterday, I took the bus and then the metro.

When the employees selling the metro passes saw my wheelchair, they asked me if I have access adapted transportation. I told them my application was denied and they acted all surprised.

It turns out this person used to work for the adapted transportation company in my city, and they don't understand why my request was denied.

I'm calling the company back right now to understand this fucked up situation. I REALLY WANNA HAVE EASIER WAYS TO GET AROUND.

For now, sometimes I get 3 (three) busses in a row with broken ramps.

When busses are full, ableds look at me with pity eyes instead of actually letting me their spot on the bus. USELESS.

When a ramp doesn't work, dudes with muscle get out of the bus ask me if they can help lift me onto the bus. It's automatic. I hate it.

Being lifted in the air by total stranger who don't know my name & conditions is TERRIFYING.

If I use a ramp, I know how it's supposed to feels and what I need to do in order to use it with minimal pain.

The dudes and buss drivers throw me looks as if I was ungreatful of their hErOiC offer.

I DONT WANT YOUR MUSCLES, I WANT ACCESSIBILITY.

I wrote this post while waiting for 45 minutes to talk to someone from the adapted transportation company. I hope they can do something!

[neuronfairy-blog]

Fluid-part one: A comic about fluid mobility & gender as a chronically ill person

[neuronfairy-blog]

ID: [Four panel comic titled “fluid part one.”

Panel 1 : “Finally, I got a cane and decorated it with cute stickers!” with drawing of a cane surrounded by sparkles and doodles of bear, cat, cloud, candy and flowers.

Panel 2: “AAAAHHHHHH! I’m so anxious and scared. I’m so tired. I don’t even know how to walk with a cane! I can’t deal harassment. Everything is going to take longer and I’m already late. My leg is killing me though!” with a drawing of my face grimacing.

Panel 3: “On campus…The shuttle is packed. No one will let me sit. I might fall, this is really hard. I feel invisible. I feel embarrassed. Everyone is avoiding eye contact.” with a drawing of me standing with my cane on the shuttle bus holding the rail above me, surrounded by faceless figures sitting.

Panel 4: Drawing of the International Symbol of Access/Wheelchair Symbol on a sign that reads “Accessible Entrance” and a drawing of stairs. It also says: “Many of the automatic door buttons are broken and stairs are everywhere. My old art building has no elevator.” /end ID]

[anxious-and-in-pain]

Reminder that doctors don’t really know what causes fibromyalgia and it is likely several diseases that have similar symptoms. That is why it is a syndrome. What helped others may not help you and that does not mean you aren’t trying hard enough.

(Same for cfs/me, science just doesn’t know yet)

[raccooninapartyhat]

sometimes a distraction isn’t helpful and what you need to do is sit down for five minutes and have a really good cry about it and that’s okay

[imreallybad-deactivated20150610]

i wish men understood that when women are talking about feminism and rape culture and shit, it’s not just a political conversation. it’s not about being a “social justice warrior” or whatever. it’s about our actual lives being shaped by misogyny since childhood, and the daily reality of living in fear of violence. this isn’t a fucking game or philosophical debate. this is our fucking lives. 

[imreallybad-deactivated20150610]

this post is picking up like 100 notes per minute its outta control 

[seriesofnonsequiturs]

[wordsaremylife]

Just watched a Donald Glover special where he talks about how he realized how many female colleagues asked him to walk them to their cars…until it hit him that they, as adults, were scared. Pow, ya got it. How many men worry about where they park, how late they can be out alone, where they can go by themselves, who will watch their drink if they need to use the bathroom … all of this.

[imfemalewarrior]

Women don’t have a choice as to whether or not we deal with everything that comes with being a Woman in our society. We have to deal with it because it is how we survive. 

Sometimes we internalize the damaging messages and start to believe them and spread them as the truth instead of as the lies they actually are. This internalized misogyny damages us and those around us whether or not we realize it, and we must learn to overcome it and see what is truth and what is not truth. 

-FemaleWarrior 

[wandering-genderqueer-spoonie]

Armed with bad puns and coffee.

I have a abdominal-pelvic echo appointment this morning and I AM STRESSED. Being genderqueer and dealing with clueless cis medical staff is AAAAAAAAA

[jimpovolo-deactivated20160511]

a moment of silence please because today is the day lily, james and harry potter crashed their car into a crocodile which ate harrys parents and then took out a knife and gave him a lightning bolt scar. This is such a tragic day for eveyone around the world

[w00o00w]

I don’t think that’s how it went

[jimpovolo-deactivated20160511]

ur wrong

[wandering-genderqueer-spoonie]

Hello yes hi I'm here to buy all you have of Body Parts That Do Not Ache no bag thank you I'll screw em on right away great wow so much better

[disabilityhealth]

Can you surgically implant a heating pad? Asking for a friend

[brynwrites]

That chronic undiagnosed illness mood when you have major health testing coming up and all your good meaning able bodied friends cheerily bless you like “I hope your results come back normal!” 

No. No, honey, please don’t hope that. Hope that they come back abnormal so someone can finally diagnose this, and I can start planning my life around it instead of being controlled by it, and I can research ammo for the constant barrage of “you just feel like that because you’re not exercising-sleeping-eating-meditating enough!”

Don’t wish me health because I’m not healthy. 

Wish me a diagnosis so that some day I might be.

[ugly-ravioli]

[wandering-genderqueer-spoonie]

PRETTY MUCH

[wandering-genderqueer-spoonie]

I'm on my way to my second appointment with the rheumatologist!

She has results from the blood tests and full spine and hips x-rays.

I really hope the results get us somewhere. I desperately need a diagnosis, cause without it, I treat myself kinda blindly, and I cannot have access to various disability services offered in my province.

IM EXCITED/HORRIFIED/RELIEVED to have the appointment today and not in January, as it was first planned.

[grumpylittles]

Lydia is amazing.

[wandering-genderqueer-spoonie]

No offense taken, Linda, I'm on your side 100%

(this show was one of my favorite when I was a kid 😭)

[wandering-genderqueer-spoonie]

Good news!!

My parents are willing to pay for physical therapy!!

Quebec health insurance doesn't cover fully my meds, and doesn't cover at all medical marijuana. Since I'm 21 years old, I can't be covered by my parent's one.

Budget is short these days, so I felt quite relieved and privileged when my mom told me how she could help me out.

I want to wait until I have a diagnosis to start a movement-based treatment. In the past, PT has worked for my TMJ, but hasn't for other parts of my body.

I can't wait for my appointment with the rheumatologist! 🙏

[wandering-genderqueer-spoonie]

I CRAVE SOLUTIONS but instead I get :

1000 half diagnosed physical illnesses and syndromes,

100 different symptoms,

10 doctors referring me to ten other ones

1 mind to cope with all this (bullshit)

[wandering-genderqueer-spoonie]

I'm a resilient and resourceful human being.

But I'm tired of having to use these skills non-stop in order to navigate life with my disabilities.

I wish it was easier.

I guess I'm in the middle of grieving about some healthy people "privileges" I once had.

[image description: a black and white Gif of Dr. House. He is standing in front of his fridge. His facial expression looks both concerned and blunt while he sais "I have to act like a decent human being, and you know what a strain that puts on me." End of image description.]

[ok2befat]

IZ- fashion for wheelchair users

“We believe wheelchair users should have access to the same styles and trends everyone else has, without ever having to compromise comfort.

Our clothing has signature cuts and styles to fit a seated body shape, falling and draping naturally without interfering with wheelchair mechanics. We use top-quality fabrics that look beautiful and feel luxurious.

Our Easy Zip Back option in coats is just one way that we’re making layering up and staying warm easier than ever. Discreet zippers in the back mean that Easy Zip Back coats separate into two individual pieces. 

Our signature ‘L-Shape’ means that IZ coats have the length you need over your lap while looking sleek and clean so you don’t sacrifice your style.”

The IZ Collection goes up to a 2X and has a wide range of masculine and feminine clothes.   

They look gorgeous, but be prepared. They are expensive.