Wandering Oak @wanderingoak-blog - Tumblr Blog

Home again, home again...

So, I haven't been on Tumblr in a really long time... like well before my cross-country bicycle ride. I'm not sure what I will be doing on here yet but I plan on being more active.

My priorities in life are a bit different so my focus has changed. This will probably be a forum for me to share my thoughts on current events and showcase things I find beautiful or inspirational.

To be honest, it is mostly for me but it would bring a smile to my face if you get some value out of it as well... oh, and I would also love to answer questions.

Why I'm Leaving

It’s not easy to explain exactly why I am leaving… the easiest answer (which is also mostly true) is that I don’t like to stay in one place very long. I get pretty antsy and desire a new place to call home. That’s true, but that alone would not be enough to really push me out of a decent city.

I find this city to be toxic to me. The politics of it all is so negative and it seems to drive even great people to compromise and a level of negativity that I have never experienced before. As a recent article pointed out, politics literally turns people into psychopaths. This was not nearly as prevalant in the libertarian circles I ran in, but I think that is because libertarians are used to operating out of the simplistic and inaccurate two-party political system.

While I certainly do love and like many of the people I have met here I would be lying if I said the people didn’t have something to do with me leaving. It isn’t the people exactly, but more like the lives that many of them live. The talk of living peacefully and free is great but most of them resist any actions that would actually challenge the status quo. They operate in the political beltway system and enjoy it.

Good for them… I value them as friends… I love them dearly… but that isn’t the life for me.

I want to live freely instead of only talking about freedom. The most peer pressure I ever received in my life was from libertarians when I decided not to drink alcohol for about 90 days before Burning Man. I had more peer pressure about drinking from people who preach “your body, your choice” than I ever had in high school, the military, or college. I even waited until I was 21 while in the military to drink alcohol and soldiers did not judge me. They still invited me out and did not pressure me, but libertarians did and they stopped inviting me out to things.

Believing that you can use what you want for your body means respecting those who choose not to also, even when social norms dictate otherwise. Similar pressure and ostracism occurs when I talk about drug use, something libertarians think should be legalized but discuss in hushed tones much of the time. I guess the gist of it is that I never really felt accepted here by most people. This isn’t true of all people, I have made many wonderful friends that love and accept me, but the city (and movement) hasn’t.

I don’t know if LA will be much different as a whole. We shall see. I do know that the people who I will surround myself with will be more in line with the lifestyles that I want to live. I am not expecting (or desiring) some sort of social utopia but I believe I will be happier in a place where wearing a suit is not the norm, the beach is near, and people embrace a “live and let live” mentality.

Relations

I think my openness about my current views on relationships tends to through some people off. While part of it is my introverted personality, a big part of it is simply me being open and honest at all times. I see no reason to hide who I am or what I do, I feel no shame for my behavior and I think some women find that honesty refreshing.

There are many women out there who want to feel loved and intimate with a man but do not want a relationship in the traditional sense. Their reasons may vary significantly from woman to woman but if they are looking for something without commitment it can actually be hard to find. They can troll bars but this is potentially dangerous, requires navigating the ridiculous games people play, and brings stigmas with it that I find unfair but it is the reality we live in.

On the other hand, because I am honest and open I am able to build trust and provide support, intimacy, and even love. I am also someone who believes in complete confidentiality. I am also not a judgmental person, there is not a kink, fetish, preference, or desire that I would judge or make someone feel bad about.

To be clear, this is not about sex. This is about experiencing the love and joy that comes from being with someone who appreciates and cares for you. It is the height of the human experience… connecting with a person. Sometimes that means just curling up on the couch with someone, having a deep conversation, or going out on dates. It is about new experiences and sharing these experiences with someone who cares about you.

I don’t believe that anyone should be lonely or miss out on intimacy simply because they are not ready to commit to playing the game we call lifelong monogamy. The reality is that the vast majority of relationships fail and admitting this does not mean you should pull yourself away from happiness.

It is interesting to me that word-of-mouth is how most people find out about me. While I am open about my views I am rarely the first person to bring it up. A good female friend of mine was once asked if I am a womanizer, her response was perfect… she said, “No, Peter is not a womanizer, but he does love women”. That is the truth, I do love the views, spirit, and general outlook of all types of women. They do fascinate me and I enjoy their company, I guess that’s just who I am.

Strangely Not Annoyed

So, I had a fantastic weekend at the beach with some friends (old and new). Unfortunately, when I got back to my bike which I locked up at the Metro station I found out I had become the victim of a thief. My bike was there (though someone obviously tried pretty hard to get the lock off) but my odometer/speedometer, bike pump, and headlight were all stolen.

This should annoy me but I am actually pretty indifferent about it. These things can easily be replaced (and pretty cheaply)… it just doesn’t seem worth it to get upset. In fact, I even chuckle a little knowing the odometer/speedometer is worthless without the magnetic sensor which is still on my bike.

Oh well, such is life. I can’t wait to see what this week has in store for me.

A Potential Change...

It looks like there might be a potential change in my bike ride that I am pretty excited about. A new friend of mine might be riding with me for the last third of my trip. We are still working out the details but it looks like he will be in a position to meet me somewhere around the week of June 25th.

As I talked about in my Rite of Passage post, the one thing that really didn’t match up was the lack of a guide when I finish my isolation. While this friend has not done exactly what I am doing he is an experienced cyclist who can likely provide assistance and support as I go through the most physically and psychologically grueling part of my journey.

Overall, I’m pretty stoked about this potential development.

Book Quote #3

Two goodies today that stood out from “Days of War, Nights of Love”

“Youth is a time when you should be reevaluating the assumptions and traditions of older generations, when you should be willing to set yourself apart from those who have come before and create an identity of your own. But in our society, “youthful rebellion” has become a ritual: every generation is expected to revolt against the social order for a few years, before “growing up” and “accepting reality.” This negates any power for real change that the fresh perspective of youth could have; for now rebellion is “just for kids,” and no young person dares to maintain their resistance into adulthood for fear of being thought of as childish.”

“And indeed if we were to stop and ponder the subject, perhaps we would find that when we seriously consider the limits of our time on this planet, keeping up with television comedies and having a good rsum seem less important than they did before. Our cultural silence about human mortality allows us to forget how much weight the individual moments of our lives carry, adding up as they do to our lives themselves. Thus we may squander countless hours watching television or balancing checkbooks–hours that in retrospect we might have done better to have spent walking on the sea shore with our loved ones, cooking gourmet meals for our children or friends, writing fiction, or hitchhiking across South America. The reality of our future death is not easy for any of us to come to terms with, but it is surely better that we consider this now than regret not doing so later when it is too late.”

Words to Ride By #4

“I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.” – Robert Heinlein “Moon is a Harsh Mistress”

This idea flows through my entire life, there are many ways to say it but I like the way Heinlein puts it best. It doesn’t limit civil disobedience to laws, but instead brings up any rule that is imposed on us from an outside source that we find “obnoxious”. Most importantly though, it mentions the ever important responsibility aspect as a moral attribute instead of something that is purely consequential.

On my bike ride I know I will break many laws, particularly laws that would deem it “illegal” to sleep on the side of the road. The idea that a person cannot peacefully sleep somewhere in a way that does not harm (or even remotely disturb) another person should be disgusting to most good people. There may also be some other social norms that I will break but I don’t know what adventures the road may put in front of me but I am going at it with some wise advice that my best friend gave me about Burning Man: don’t go in with expectations but instead with an openness to the possibilities with hope and dreams in your heart.

Going Vegan

About six months ago I decided to attempt a solely vegan diet. I have not been completely successful but at this point I am about 80% vegan, another 15% vegetarian, and the remaining carnivore. When I am home cooking for myself I am completely vegan, the rest is when I end up eating out or others are cooking.

The way I came about this decision is very similar to a logical exercise. I started with two situations: one in which all my nutrients can be obtained without a creature feeling pain or dying and one in which that is not the case. At the beginning the price, nutritional value, and convenience in obtaining this food is all the same. There really are three ways to react to these scenarios: harmless food is better, the two scenarios are the same, or food harming creatures is better. For me harmless food is morally superior.

After that I just needed to figure out how much money, nutrition, and convenience I am willing to sacrifice to live the morally superior life (in my opinion). Luckily we live in an age when these three issues are not a huge problem. The prices of different goods are close enough for someone on my budget, there is a lot of nutritional information out there about how to fill holes in your diet, and even the grocery store down the street has most of the products I need.

Since switching my diet I have felt healthier and dropped a few pounds. I have had to add Choline supplements to my diet because this is primarily found in dairy products but that is a very minor change. I am hoping to maintain this diet for the most part on my bike ride but that may be difficult. We shall see.

Words to Ride By #3

“Sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whiskey, and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind except falling in love and not getting arrested” – Hunter S. Thompson

When I first read this quote there was only one line that didn’t really appeal to me… “falling in love”, but now that appeals to me the most. It doesn’t necessarily mean that this ride is about finding a lady to spend my life with but it does mean opening my heart up to the possibility.

I seek to fall in love with a place or a person. It may not mean forever, but for the moment of love I will embrace it. I will explore the emotional side of myself where I live in the moment and seek stories over security. It truly is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

In the beginning...

As I coasted across the river into DC today I saw the familiar site of the Jefferson Memorial on my left I got to thinking about my bike ride less than five weeks away. I was thinking about how my journey would begin from there but for some reason that didn’t feel just right. “Begin” felt like a shadow of a word, a reflection but not quite true.

It got me questioning… didn’t my journey begin with an idea? With training? Or before that? Maybe when I decided to stay in DC? Move to DC? Move to Charleston? End my engagement? Get engaged? Join the army?

All these events, and infinitely more, had to happen in order for me to face the road ahead. In a way my journey has already begun and this arbitrary statement of beginning and ending is convenient for story-telling and workdays but is not really true. Intuitively I think we all realize this. Hell, the entire show “How I Met Your Mother” is based on the concept of how the meeting of two future parents is so complicated and nuanced that any action within the entire life of either partner (or the generations before) could have prevented it from occurring.

So, when I “start” on my trek on June 3rd it will really just be another page in this chapter of my life…. another chapter in the book of my life… another book in the volume of human history.. and another volume inside the vast endless library of the universe. It is both the most important event ever and the most insignificant and by even talking about it I am shaping the future of my life and countless other people. This part of my life (and life in general) is exciting, amazing, awe-inspiring, terrifying, and it is both never-ending and never-beginning.

Patterns: Trees

There are often seem to be patterns in our lives, almost as if there is a theme that acts as a steady underground river that only bubbles to the surface occasionally but is really always there. I know that this is really just seeing patterns in the everyday fuzz of life but I don’t think that really matters, at least not for my purpose. Recognizing the patterns can be a source of focus and inspiration, it can be a muse.

One major one at this point in my life is the tree. It started right before Burning Man when I was thinking about my name and how the meaning “rock” didn’t really feel right anymore and I liked the idea of being a tree (more on this in my first blog post). After that the image of a tree has seemed to flow in and out of my life… a card from a friend with a tree on it, my yoga mat (which I didn’t see the tree until unrolling it the first time), and more recently a yoga session where we were instructed to focus on one of two chakras, the Third Eye or the Heart.

I decided on the Heart because of it represents, in part, compassion and equilibrium, both concepts of some importance to me. So, as the meditation session began I focused my thoughts on the Heart Chakra (Anahata). Even if you don’t subscribe to a Buddhist or Hindu philosophy there is great value in focusing on a single instance during meditation to remove external distractions. When I got home I was curious about the concepts of chakras so I looked it up online and found out that the Anahata is traditionally green and below it is the Hrit, or wish-giving tree.

Another tree.

Well today, I was talking to one of my dearest friends and my go-to person on all things artistic. I mentioned to her that when I finish yoga I always feel an urge to paint or draw, even though I have never really been an artistic person. I told her that I wish I had a way to explore that side of me before I leave and she simply told me to bring paints with me and paint whatever comes to mind on the trees where I stop. Brilliant.

So, I’m totally going to paint on trees and take pictures of it as I travel across the country. Maybe there is even a way I can tag latitude/longitude to it and put those up on the web as I go. I’m kind of excited about this.

On Sex

At a party this last weekend I made a statement about sex that I have made many times before, but, like most quick statements at a party, there really wasn't an opportunity to thoroughly explain my point of view. The statement I made was, "To me, sex is like skydiving. It's a lot of fun and as long as the proper safety equipment is being used it doesn't matter if you do it with friends, strangers, a significant other, or alone". I would like to tweak that statement a bit to include "open communication and everyone involved is a coherent adult".

These three issues (safety, communication, and coherence) are really at the heart of sex in today's age. We live in a time when sex can be removed from child-rearing and viewed in many forms but problems can develop. I believe that as long as the three issues are addressed the majority of problems can be avoided. If you are always safe, openly communicate your wants and expectations, and all parties are sober adults then you avoid serious problems down the line.

Sex is a very wonderful thing but it does not need to be limited to some sort of emotional relationship. Sex can be a leisure activity among consenting adults to get out any built up stress, it can also be a way to strengthen a friendship, and it can be used to share intimacy with a partner. In the same way that when Michael Jordan plays basketball the emotional attachment to the game and the importance of the act very much depends on who is involved. There is a difference between playing a friendly game with your kids, playing the sport for money, and playing for exercise. The act is physically the same but the purpose behind it varies considerably. Sex is no different.

Ride and Equipment Check

Late last week I did a quick 35-mile ride to test my equipment and further get into riding mode. I had planned a longer 60-mile day but unfortunately was not able to accomplish that. I am hoping this weekend I can do a long overnight trip or a 60-70 mile day. Anyway, I learned a few things on this last ride, some of it is basic biking and some is particular to my equipment.

My mirror sucks. I need a mirror that attaches to my helmet because there isn’t room on my handlebar to properly mount one.

My odometer/speedometer rocks. It is properly calibrated and has a very effective display.

I am moving way faster than I need to. My average speed is about 13-14 mph in the city. I want to average 10-12 mph on the trip and most of the trip will be outside of cities where I can move much faster. I need to sloooowwww down, smell the roses, enjoy the ride, and all the other cliches that come with it.

For the first time I have metal pedals instead of plastic, this means my shins get beat to hell when I play with the pedals while waiting for stop lights. I need to break this habit or buy shin pads.

When you kind of lose control going downhill it is best not to brake, if you brake you will fall.

My bell and lights work great but my rear light is going to need new placement when I start riding with a full load on my back. Not sure how to fix this yet without buying new equipment…

It looks like I will need to tune the gears and fill the tires every 150-200 miles, so every 3-4 days

My hand pump is crap, I need a better one

Also, my sunglasses broke and that annoys me.

I finally feel like the bike is an extension of my body. There were several times when I was riding downhill over rough and rocky terrain that my instincts, muscle memory, training, and practice took over and I rode it out nicely. I also think I found a way to rig everything on the bike without new equipment or saddlebags. I am going to try that all out this next weekend and see how it feels.

We Live in Amazing Time

I sometimes need to take a step back from my life and really try to look at the amazing world we live in from a more innocent perspective. For instance, last Thursday made me realize how fantastic the world we live in right now is.

I was able to ride my bicycle to a local store where I could purchase all the food I need to fulfill my dietary requirements for two weeks, and all of it was vegan. While riding I was able to listen to music that was produced around the world and sent to me nearly instantaneously from Chicago, hundreds of miles away.

While shopping I was able to use the same device that I listened to music with to talk directly with a coworker who was 20 miles away. She needed help with our website and I was able to use this same device to instantly edit the website while walking around the grocery store.

We live in a time when you can instantly communicate and do most jobs from nearly anywhere in the world. All while having affordable access to the nutrients and knowledge needed to live a long and healthy life. Mmm, it is a great time.

Tattoos

I certainly won’t judge someone for any tattoo they have or the reason they get it, but for me there are basically two types of tattoos that I will get: to memorialize something or for the story. If I am memorilizing something it is an event or concept that I find significant in my life. If it is for the story that means that the act of tattooing itself is a story that I want to tell.

The story tattoos could be anything from a spontaneous act in the midst of an awesome day to having the honor of being someones first real tattoo. These story tattoos will likely be lower quality in artistic style but they won’t have any less meaning to me.

My memorial tattoos on the other hand will not be spontaneous in design or concept. In fact, it may annoy the crap out of the tattoo artist how picky I am about these tattoos because it may mean several designs over a period of time. I do think I am going to stick with black and gray though, and keep it all on my left side upper arm, shoulder, and chest for now. I would add color if it was something extremely important and would stand out among my body art. I really like owls also so hopefully I can integrate that into a design

I don’t know what my next tattoo will be but I have some concepts/events in mind:

Balance: yin-yang, scales, balance of life, community vs individuality

Ka-tet: Those people who are part of your inner circle and life

Military Service: wings, CIB, badges of sacrifice

Immortality: ouroboros, “it has all happened before”, circular nature of life

Bike Ride

My Type

I get asked a lot by my amazing friends what “my type” of girl is. Most of my friends who ask me this are trying to hook me up with someone. They are all aware of my views on relationships and such so this question tends to be about how a woman is physically.

There are a few things that I tend to find attractive such as tattoos, piercings, comfortable around drugs, colored hair, dreadlocks, and a relatively healthy body but there is none of this is really a type. I think my attraction to these things are based more on a Pavlovian response. People who have these traits tend to be interested in similar things and have a similar attitude to me. As I write this I also realize these are all body modifications, they have nothing (or very little) to do with how you are born, but instead are based on choices. There aren’t really any “born with” traits that are good or bad in my mind.

To me it is the total package for each individual, things like eye color or height are part of a total package but I don’t have a real preference. I can see a short blonde with brown eyes and she will be just as much my type as a tall red head or average height brunette. In the same way that Supreme Court Justice Stewart can’t define pornography, I can’t define my type “but I know it when I see it”.

Physical Preparations - Yoga

Up to this point my workout routine in preparation for my bike ride has been focused on long rides and some weight work, but that is changing a little. I am entering the home stretch with only 6 weeks until I leave and my fitness is pretty good and on the advice of some friends I had my first yoga class yesterday.

The yoga class was actually pretty cool with much more focus on breathing and balance than I originally expected. I am hoping this will help with my cardiovascular strength as well as reduce recovery time of my muscles. While I am not worried about any of the distances I will be travelling it is likely that days and days of biking will push my recovery time to its limits.

Unfortunately the times my gym offers yoga is not that convenient but I think I can make it work several times a week. My gym is mostly people much older than me and the yoga class represented that. I wasn’t surprised to be one of only three men present but it was a bit of surprise that I was 15 or more years younger than the vast majority of those in class. In retrospect I think this was good, I was able to more easily focus on my own exercise without the distraction of lovely ladies (one of my biggest weaknesses).

All in all, a good experience. On an unrelated note, everyone at the gym was working on shoulder exercises, including me, and it was incredibly annoying waiting for weights and machines for so long.

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