Now, any good priest worth his salt probably wouldn’t be staring down the barrel of a potential exorcism with the bug-eyed expression that Wardo was wearing now. He’d seen all the Conjuring movies, and he knew you had to approach that shit with a certain calmness and decorum. That, or you just had to be as sexy as Patrick Wilson and sound vaguely convincing when speaking Latin.
He let out an ‘oof’ or surprise when Ivy elbowed him in the ribs and shot her an annoyed glare over the woman’s head. But it wouldn’t do for the two of them to get into one of their usual tussles right now. They weren’t Wardo and Ivy, feral heathens tonight. He had to remember that they were Father Dierks and Sister Svedka, children of God.
Rubbing sorely at his side, he let Ivy navigate a response to the women, eyes subtly widening when he realised she was playing into this.
Now what were they supposed to do?
The woman in question was staring at them with barely disguised hope, her blonde bob (cut straight from the panel of The View) bouncing as she nodded in gratitude.
“Thank you. I prayed for Him to help and he sent me two angels,” she said, grasping onto both of their hands. Wardo offered her a tight smile, awkwardly trying to extricate himself from her grip.
He moved around her and crouched by the boy on the ground, whose smile suggested he was having a better time than anyone else in the alleyway. He glanced over his shoulder, hoping Ivy would keep the kid’s mom distracted while he figured out how to deal with this.
“Okay, idiot, what have you taken and how much?” he asked, adopting the same tone he used when Bryce pulled stupid shit.
The kid’s head rolled around, not a care in the world, as he smiled dopily.
“What didn’t I take, man?” he asked.
“Just answer the question,” Wardo groaned, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Molly? Coke? Fucking… oh shit, don’t tell me you’re on ket or something?”
“Noooo,” the boy giggled. “Half a brownie. I was gonna take the other half but I heard my mom coming and I dropped it.”
Wardo’s eyebrows fell into a frown as he stared at the boy in disbelief.
“You’re this bugged out on half a weed brownie?” he hissed, shaking his head at the boy who quickly dissolved into giggles.
Wardo shook his head and turned back to Ivy and the near-hysterical mother. He pushed himself to his feet, stretching to his full height. The woman watched him with wide and fearful eyes, waiting for his assessment. He stretched it out for a moment longer, for no reason other than dramatics, and then nodded.
“We can help the Devil leave his body.”
dededos
romaincrisis
yousharknotpass
theartofmadeline
titsay
stormborns
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