Rey inched her way into the room with an awkward smile on her face. "Right so I feel like I've got a lot to cover and it freaks me out a little bit." she mumbled, scratching the back of her head before wondering across the room and sitting down.
"Alright okay, so we had that barbecue mid week, right?" she said, her eyes widening to the camera at the thought. "Now that was completely dramatic, and I am never brought into drama. So I had to kiss Belle, which was absolutely fine with me. I mean we'd never kissed before, but it was fine and it was an ... interesting development." she added with a shy smile. "So thank you for that dare."
"But then Joey was dared to kiss me. Which was completely fine, more than fine actually because he's a good kisser and I'd also never kissed him before but that also confused me a lot because I was not ready or prepared for that." Rey bit her lip slightly, her gaze staying somewhere near the floor.
"But then it led to an argument with Merrick, which I won't go into detail about, although I'm sure it's on camera somewhere." the brunette added a small chuckle and awkwardly ran a hand through her hair again. "But he kissed me halfway through this argument - for a dare, it wasn't anything more than that obviously - but boy did that fuck my mind up. Ahh man, sorry I didn't mean to swear - sorry mum!"
"But yeah, to be honest, it was probably one of the worst things he could have done. He was trying to prove a point about the kiss between Joey and I, but it didn't work that way and it's all just far too complicated for me anymore. I don't know, I just hate feeling like this and it's like I take ten steps forward and get dragged a million steps back. But that's not his fault, it's all me. He can't change how I'm feeling, as much as I'm sure he would like to. Hell, it would be a lot easier for him if he could."
Rey gave a sad smile before looking out of the window. "I'm sorry, I've made this whole thing a bit sad and ridiculous now. But we're supposed to be confessing stuff right?" She rearranged herself awkwardly in her chair before looking up at the crew members. "Okay so the night after I went out with Keaton and I think I must have consumed the whole bars worth of alcohol, because I was a mess. Long story short, Joey had to put me to bed and I don't remember much, but apparently I was just awful. Which has only ever happened to me one other time and I think we all remember when that was."
"My goodness, I am such a cliche." she commented with a laugh. "But I will stop boring you now and just go into facts I think. So, I hooked up with four different people this holiday, which surpasses my total of people anyway, which just proves how out of character and ridiculous I am at the moment. It has been a good holiday - it's been an eye opener." Rey said with a nod.
"The exhausting thing about all of this is that it's true what they say. I am nothing but kind to everyone, and I don't get anything back. In fact, people seem to think of it as an invitation to walk all over me and I don't want that anymore. Like I said to Belle, I want to be the one that someone fights for, that someone wants to be around all the time. I don't want to be the last resort or the safety net, because I'm worth the hassle too. Being friends with people is fine - amazing actually, but I don't want to be just the friend."
"I would never jump into a relationship again, and I'd make sure that person didn't think of me as a chore. I don't know a lot at the moment, but I know that I'm both sad and angry and I need to find a way to deal with it without ruining things or myself. But who knows, big changes could be coming. I don't hate anyone, I never could. It's all just very confusing to me."
"Thank you for listening to me rant, it does make things a little better. As much as I wish it wasn't being aired, I should be used to it by now."
