PLEASE TELL ME YOU’LL WRITE A PART TWO FOR “straight A’s” 😭
I WILL I WILL I WILL 😝
I want it to be longer (🤨) and non-bulleted, and I have another long fic in the drafts that I’m prioritizing at the moment, so it might take me awhile, but it will be there eventually!
suggestive! :
asking the sweet science tutor if he'd teach you how a man likes to be touched.
Ryland Grace as a fellow graduate student you go to for help with your classes. He’s not your TA, but he has been for some of your courses, at least adjacent versions. There’s nothing you’ve gone to him for that he was surprised by.
Well. Except Bed Chem.
ੈ✩‧₊˚
asking grad-school!ryland to tutor you because he’s gotten exceptional grades in anything science based.
he is. conflicted on the matter. not because he believes himself incapable (as if), but because you’re pretty and he notices that he notices you’re pretty. often.
does that count as a conflict of interests? would you care if he focused on helping you understand the material and nothing more?
well. ‘nothing more’ being learning what you liked from the campus café and bringing you your favorites sometimes. and rubbing your back with a soft, “it’s late. you’ve done good today, get some rest.” when he sees your eyelids flutter. and praising you a bit more than he reasonably should when you show him an improvement in your grade, all starry-eyed.
you’re… not helping. not that you know that! it’s not your fault that you bring him coffee or caffeine, just the way he likes it; let him talk, and actually listen, even if it’s off topic; ask him about his personal life like you care about more than the bump in percentages he can offer you.
was it to pacify him? would you still do this if he weren’t instructing you? he didn’t know, and therefore avoided the risk of assuming.
your ability to retain information regarding him and not the professor’s lecture you went over the day before for several hours is… fascinating. yeah. we’ll go with that.
maybe he’s praised you in facets outside of academia before. nothing insane, but some slight flattery after you kept coming back to him after a semester.
you felt more like a friend than a pupil, in all honesty.
a friend. novel. idiotic.
one day, you asked him to meet a bit late. right after finals, which was the most interesting part. what could you need if all of your exams were done? it was too soon to have any of your scores back, surely.
he was grateful for your timing nonetheless. instead of barely eating, sleeping, functioning, outside of review, ryland had time to tidy up a bit. he’d trimmed his facial hair evenly, dressed halfway decent. he never wanted you to feel like the arrangement between the two of you was too formal. but he wanted to look good for you. wanted you to think he looked good.
he’s sitting at his desk, fidgeting with a pen, waiting for you to come in. his residence is a tiny studio style apartment for one — convenient for having guests if they didn’t mind standing a little close. only his desk lamp is on. he can turn more lights on later on, if you wanted, but he prefers not to sit in fluorescents himself.
a familiar knock, a triple tune you’d pavlov-ed him into listening for.
thankfully, no one’s there to judge how fast he stands. “hey,” he greets as he swings the door open, quickly accompanied by a furrow of his brow. you look… preoccupied with something. your bottom lip is between your teeth, immediately released as soon his eyes land on the gesture. “is everything okay?”
you nod timidly. did something happen on your walk here? you’ve been in his apartment past dark and all, though he usually escorts you home if it’s late—
oh, better not to let you stand in the hall. etiquette.
ryland steps aside — allowing you the room to enter, which you do.
he settles for leaning back against his desk, letting you have the chair. there’s something gnawing at you, something he can’t quite place. hm. he looks at you over his glasses. “what seems to be the problem then?”
“i’m a bit stuck on something,” you admit, picking at your nails. he simply raises his brows, waiting for you to elaborate. “ah, this is embarrassing.” you rub absentmindedly at the back of your neck. he’s never seen so much color in your face. “could you teach me how to… touch a man?”
he would have sooner predicted that you asked him to go to space.
a void with no words to fill it consumes the space. the only noise is twin heartbeats, racing to see who can become the most erratic.
“uhh,” his throat bobs. “not exactly my wheelhouse— oh, well, I guess it could be depending on how you look at it. like,” he waved vaguely at the air, “theoretically?”
you have the gall the look sheepish. to smile at him like his pulse isn’t hammering. “i think i’d learn best with more hands-on kind of work.”
now that is a conflict of interest.
“why would you—” he blows out a breath, huffing a laugh despite himself. his room, which has been kept at the temperature he’s been comfortable with for all his life, suddenly feels several degrees hotter. “why are you asking me that?” like he’s the most unqualified individual on earth.
your voice is shaky, but the point you’re trying to make is steadfast. “because you’ve explained everything else in a way i understood, in a way no one else has. i know this is different—” understatement of the year “—but please. i don’t want to look like an idiot when… y’know.”
what did he do to end up here? truly. teaching his crush how to be intimate with a man — someone who could very well not be him!
oh god, was he actually considering it?
“you wouldn’t be an idiot,” he mutters. learning is a process — of course no one’s going to start out perfect. “you want me to be your tutor in sex ed.” it’s just as incredulous said aloud.
“in bed chem,” you correct with a dangerous little smile, “if you want to be more scientific.”
“and is this,” there’s motioning between the two of you as he thought of a word, “arrangement for anyone particular in your life? he probably wouldn’t like it, not advisable.”
you mull the question over, though not for long. “it involves you,” a quiet little admission, “that’s about it right now.”
this could end very poorly. he knows that, should refuse politely and try to purge this from his memory before it ruined his composure.
this could also be the only way he’s able to show you just how much you mean to him. it’d be part of the agreement. part of an agreement where he didn’t lose you in the end.
well. hopefully.
“if i do this, i’d be teaching you how to touch me. not some guy you meet at the bar. do you understand that?”
oh. “mhm.”
he’s quiet for a moment, and you wonder if he’s about to turn you down. never speak to you again.
meanwhile, ryland is thinking about how he’ll take his time. make sure you enjoy yourself as part of the curriculum.
“good.” his eyes flick to his bed, messily made and the site of so many fantasies — fantasies he hoped he’d never have to disclose. “okay. when did you want to start, sweetheart?”
“You look nice,” Ryland says, smiling a little shy, as if the compliment had just slipped out and he was supposed to be embarrassed about that.
“I uh,” You pause, swallowing thickly.
Holy fuck he looks good in a suit.
in which: You need a date to the wedding you foolishly agreed to attend, luckily your co-worker is a willing sacrifice. Extremely willing.
[warnings: eventual nsfw 18+, a bit of fluff, excessively drawn out flirting]
wc: 14.2k (Whoops) [ Masterlist ] [ ao3 Link ]
Woe finds you on a Tuesday at the staffroom lunch table.
Picking apart the leftovers of a miserable thrown together attempt of fried rice that came to be after realising there were no better dinner options with the ingredients you had in the fridge two days ago and the determination to not get take out more than once a week that would surely fade come February. Alas, it is still January and all those new year resolutions are still sticking like cheap adhesive hooks that will eventually be weighed down enough to slip as time ticks on.
Eat take out once a week, maximum. Read one book a month, minimum. Sleep more. Stop turning down social invites
The last one is what leaves you particularly perturbed, as your lunch goes lukewarm and your thumb flicks about on the social media profile.
“I just… I can’t say no.” You lament. “It would be weird.”
“Weirder than going?” Margot asks, pulling her own container of lunch from the oven. It’s also leftovers, but slices of impeccably cooked roast with what looks to be red wine sauce and vegetables- no doubt made by her smokeshow of a house husband (he just works from home, she insists. You’re pretty sure the pair are sitting on a lofty investment profile because no man ‘works from home’ cooks roasts bi-weekly and buys his wife diamond earrings for her birthday).
“I don’t know. Maybe.” You manage, the next bite of fired rice tasting like loneliness packed into an over-salted flavour profile.
“What’s weird?” Ryland asks, sitting down in the chair across from you.
The staff room of E-Block is near abandoned. Of the ten-odd teachers with rooms in the little block of aging brick, most tended to eat in their classrooms. Save for you, Margot and Ryland. Occasionally there will be another visitor, but most days, it is just the three of you.
“Wedding.” Margot supplies, sitting down and shuffling her chair in with a sense of poise so rarely found in Middle-Schools. She’s older, somewhere in her early fifties, and still manages to approach the job with the same level of discipline as before ipads made their invasion into the classroom.
Ryland frowns. “You’re already married.”
He’s… well, Ryland's… actually you’re not sure how to put him into words, which is saying a lot considering the literature degree collecting mildew in the filing cabinet of your apartment.
He’s in the same boat as you in terms of finding yourselves with a teaching career. Studied something else first, got your passion and love for it soured by morons and went back to college for a second round, dishing out more cash for a masters in teaching that has you trying to tame fourteen year olds all day. Delightful, truly. Although, Ryland had certainly lasted a lot longer with that first degree than you had. A doctorate. He hates the kids knowing that though. A handful of them had called him ‘Doctor Grace’ last year, after digging about online and getting their grubby fingers on his linkedin profile.
‘Mr Grace’ as he is now known, is awkward. A little socially inept at times, but not enough to come across as anything other than endearing. Now is one such time, as he looks over the frames of his glasses at Margo, the stack of pop quizzes he’d brought to mark and keep himself occupied momentarily forgotten. His eyes darted from her face to the ring on her finger.
“Mm mm.” She hums, shaking her head as she chews, then levels her fork to point in your direction.
“You’re not getting married.” Ryland states when he turns to look at you, like it’s a scientific fact, one he’s so assured of.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mr Grace.” You reply, still sort of wallowing at the photos on your phone.
His gaze flickers, a little less sure as the corner of his lips fall and, like he had with Margot, settles his eyes on your hands. Your lack of a ring. “You aren’t, are you?”
“No. My ex is, though.” You sigh, despondent. The reminder glares back at you from the overly-bright phone screen.
“Oh. That sucks.” He manages, clicking open a red pen to start circling and ticking the first sheet on his pile. “Happens to the best of us.”
The kettle rumbles away on the tiny kitchenette. You look at him for a long moment. The best of us. Like it’s happened to him. Ryland’s not one to discuss relationships beyond the occasional quip about quitting to be a house husband like Margot’s. He’s never mentioned past romances, you don’t think he’s been in a relationship in the three years since he started at Grover Cleveland Middle. It’s such a bizarre glimpse at his life, that he doesn't even seem to register what he's revealed, marking as he waits for the boiling water to cook another lunch of instant ramen.
You sit up a little straighter in your chair, weary of knocking your shoes against where his long legs sprawl under the small table. The staff room is meant for ten but is cramped even with the three of you, nothing more than a little kitchenette and big whiteboard in the corner. There’s a shelf against one wall, just far enough away from the doorframe that the door doesn't crash into it when pushed open. There’s a long window the length of the wall on the door’s other side, a good view of the eighth-grade outdoor lunch area. The other staff call it the fishbowl, it’s why they opt to eat in their classrooms, not keen on the kids' eyes on them when it is supposed to be one of the fleeting breaks during their day.
Thank god the door is closed- if the kids heard you whining about this, a wedding, they’d never let up. “I’m considering the pros and cons of skipping it.”
“You were invited?” He baulks, dropping his pen.
You try not to smile, focusing on your self pity instead of the three shoddy attempts Ryland takes to catch his pen from dropping out of his hand, rolling off the stack of paper then off the table. “I already said I’d go too.”
“Why?” Ryland sounds appalled, like that one time you’d caught him trying to explain that the five second rule is not an effective barrier against bacteria to a student.
“It’s complicated.” You say, biting at your cheek.
“Bullshit.” Margot aptly calls. Looking over with the same expression she used to call students on their bullshit. You're not a big fan of having it directed at you.
“We went out for maybe two months in college.” You sigh, setting your phone on the table face-down to stare at your lunch, contemplative. “He’s engaged to one of the girls from my sorority. We’re… friends.”
Margot watches. “With your ex or the sorority girl?”
“Sorority girl. Daisy.” That's the better option of the two at least. You think it is, not that there is much left to save you from the impending train wreck of discussing the relationship woes of your late teens and early twenties with the only two coworkers who care to eat lunch in a communal space. The company is nice, Ryalnd had said once, when you’d asked, gets me out of the classroom.
Margot screws her face up for a second, muttering it again under her breath as if the name offends her.
“You were in a sorority?" Ryland asks, face a little blank as he looks at you from across the table.
It makes you falter, the way his thoughts seem to be buffering like the school's slow wifi. “I… Yeah? That’s the interesting part?”
He shakes his head, looking down at his marking sheets and pushes his glasses up from where they’re slowly slipping down the bridge of his nose. “No, I just can’t picture it.”
You purse your lips, consider pulling up some photos from your sorority days, then remember the kind of outfits the lot of you wore and think better of it. “Well Daisy and I were roommates for a year and a half. She’s nice. Works in PR now.”
“But she’s marrying your ex?” Ryland asks, still kind of baffled.
You dismiss it with a lazy hand wave. “I mean, she asked before they went out and everything. I just think it’s a little weird. I don’t even know why I said I’d go. It’s going to be embarrassing.”
Margot tuts twice, done with her lovingly made lunch that symbolises how successful she has been in the department of marriage when you have all but failed so far. “Why is it embarrassing? Two months is nothing.”
“I was a little head over heels for this guy.” You admit, sheepish.
Ryland stands up, clears his throat as he turns away. “Yeah? How so?”
His back is to you, as he peels the lid off his cup ramen and wrestles with the flavour packet. You come to the conclusion it’s easier to confess this sort of stuff with only one set of eyes on you. “I was sort of convinced he was my soulmate. He was doing pre-law, witty too.”
“Hot?” Margot asks, always straightforward.
You feel a blush rise on your cheeks as you remember the early days of your sorority experience, flopped back on the bed as you made little love sick sighs at your ceiling. “God, his jawline. And his hair- it was so… ugh!”
The thud is dull when your forehead lands on the table, to the right of your now abandoned lunch. “I don’t even know why I said I’d go. It’s dumb.”
You hate how you sound- petulant like the kids you prod for not searching for better words in their assignments, moping like your world is ending over something so trivial. It’s not even the new years resolution that has you mulling this over so intently. You’d agreed to go months ago- six months ago- and said yes to the offered plus one, adamant to yourself that you’d have someone by then, a partner or something. Someone of importance.
Attending alone is going to be even worse than if you had just RSVP’d for yourself in the first place. It’s one thing to watch your college friend and ex-sort-of-boyfriend exchange vows alone, and a whole other monster to do it with a pointed empty seat beside you.
All of it tumbles out your lips in a hurried hurl of word vomit, followed by a few moments of silence that has you cautiously raising your head to peek over the wall of your forearms. Ryland is staring at you, cup noodles steaming in his hands where it hovers over the sink, like he’d been about to pour out the excess water. Margot is looking at you with a frown, the same one she wears when teaching senior mathematics and the children have drawn up an equation for her to solve with the foolish belief they could stump her for more than ten seconds.
And just as in class, Margot is not phased for more than a handful of moments. “Then find someone with a better jawline and better hair to go with you. You can borrow mine.”
You blink at her, mulling the words over before asking, “Are you trying to pimp your husband out to me?”
“Only for aesthetic reasons, of course. It’d be nice to have the house to myself for once. Not like you have better options.”
It would sting more if it wasn’t so true. There were very few options and with the wedding only two weeks away, that was certainly not enough time to squeeze in enough dates with someone to justify taking them to a damn wedding.
“I mean, how good is his jawline?” Ryland finally says, walking over with his little cutlery box, plastic chopsticks he washes and reuses almost everyday, to set his lunch down on the table and settle back in across from you. “Are we aiming high?”
There is no way to un-dig this hole, not now that they’ve both decided to put their two cents in. You concede with another sigh and reach for your phone, arms and chin still on the table as you fish about Instagram for a photo. It’s the one that had reminded you of this awful upcoming event, posted by Daisy. You all but toss your phone on the table between your coworkers, sinking a little lower into your folded arms, awaiting judgement.
The photos must be from a walk though of the venue, the pair of them posed together between some old marble arch where they were having the ceremony at. She was laughing, hand on his chest, showing off the ring on her finger while he looked at her, besotted. The caption made it worse. Only two weeks left till I get to marry my man on these very steps.
You like them both, you really do, but the thought of showing up by yourself, as the lonely friend who’d never found ‘it’, your own version of the love they were celebrating, well it was just nauseating.
Margot looks the photo over critically before humming in a sort of so-so tone. “You can do better.”
Ryland looks kind of at a loss. “This is your type?”
As if to emphasise the point, he lifts the phone up and turns it around to show you the image you were already being haunted by. “This is the hair that had you all…”
He doesn't find the words, just waves the hand with his chopsticks around in a messy motion, looks at you critically over the rims of his glasses.
“He slicks it back now. It used to be… I donno. Messy? Fluffy? Good to run my fingers though.” He scoffs a little to himself, dissatisfied maybe with your excuse.
The only forgiving factor is that the photo does highlight the sharp cut of his jaw, which even Ryland concedes to. “He does have a good jawline...”
Yours is better, you want to say. Immediate and impulsive, because it kind of is. Especially when the shadow of his stubble stretches a few extra days between shaves. Your ex is clean shaven- you used to think that was sexy, at least sexier than the patchy beards boys in college had back then. Now you’re kind of obsessed with the so-called ‘5-o’clock shadow’ Ryland sports on Fridays.
It’s not something you’re likely to tell him though, especially not when you glance at the clock and realise you have a duty across campus in three minutes. Saved by the bell maybe, either way you’re able to liberate your phone from the pair of them and their conspiratory whispers, bin the scraps of your lunch and haul ass out of there.
By the end of the school day, you have reached the conclusion that you will blame it on work. That some mandatory day of ‘professional development’ as it is called nowadays, has come up and you will just have to miss the wedding, truly you’re devastated about it all.
Then Ryland corners you in your classroom. The bell’s long gone, as are the students. He’s dressed like he’s on his way out, his green backpack tossed over one shoulder and bike helmet hanging by the strap in one hand. You’re halfway through explaining your plan and the wording you’re going to use in the tragic text message to Daisy when he cuts you off.
“I’ll go with you.”
He’s a little breathless with it, like he’d been saving up all his oxygen to get the words out, leaving him in one big rush as they topple though the doorway of your classroom and splatter onto the linoleum floor between you both.
“I know that I’m not Margot’s husband with a ‘better jawline and better hair’ but we can go and eat nice wedding food- If he’s a lawyer it’s gotta be fancy, right? And we can make fun of his stupid slicked back hair together and you don’t have to be alone or make an excuse and feel guilty about it.” Ryland’s big speech is as flawed as it is heartwarming
Because he does have a better jawline and better hair. And Margot looks between you both during lunch hours and staff meetings like you’re her personal romance drama, there to occupy her during the day.
But the wedding food will be good, your ex will shill out for the best and Daisy has always had a taste for the finer things in life. Ryland is the best company you can think of to have by your side and he knows you well enough to understand how guilty lying about something makes you feel, how it churns your gut.
“Yeah. Okay.” You smile, something warm and fuzzy in your chest.
His eyes don’t move, maybe widen a little before he speaks again, still a little breathless. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
It isn’t a hard thought to come around to, taking Ryland to a wedding. As a date is something that goes unsaid between the pair of you, not sure whether it could be classed as such for real, or if this is simply a favour between friends-slash-coworkers. It is certainly a date for show, to the many college friends you’re about to reunite with after a few years, for your Ex, Jack who’s obsessed with his wife, for Daisy who you’d told years ago to ‘go for it, he’s a nice guy’ working under the assumption that she’d only last a few months by his side too.
You’re not sure which answer you’d prefer, honestly; a date or a favour.
He texts you a lot- after school, on the weekend- asking about what he should wear, what you’re going to wear, how he should prepare for this sort of thing. It’s sweet, cute in a way that has little butterflies flapping around in your stomach.
“Okay, I’ll show you. Wait, hold on.” You placate, setting your phone down on the bed, screen up.
“It’s a lovely ceiling fan, but I doubt it fits the dress code.” Ryland drawls, and you can hear the smile there.
“Ha ha.” You reply, a little echo-y as you lean into your closet to pull the dress out.
He’s up in arms about what to wear, says he needs to know what you’re wearing too so he can match. The invite’s dress code called for formal attire in ‘dark colours’. On the facebook page she’d made for the event, Daisy had a full post going into more detail, about how she’d love any and all dark tones- forestry green, navy, even burgundy was fine. You had taken a firm stance against burgundy considering there’s some old wedding traditions that state wearing red indicated you’d slept with the groom. Which you had, but you were not about to advertise that.
So navy it was.
You’d sent Ryland a picture of the invite, where it was stuck to your fridge with letter magnets spelling out ‘woe’- it had felt fitting when you’d stuck it up there- and several screenshots of the lengthy dress-code post Daisy had made that went into excruciating detail. He wasn’t satisfied though.
Even your attempts to describe the dress you’d bought didn’t work well enough.
“I mean it! you expect me to know what any of those words apart from ‘floor length' means?” he bemoans from your phone speakers, face time call crackling. “I need all the data.”
“Oh listen to you, Mr. Science,” You drawl with a smile, pulling the dress out. It’s too long to hang from a door knob so you have to stretch up on your tip toes to hang the coat hook over the curtain rod of your bedroom window.
“I was thinking of changing my name. Very to the point, don’t you think?” He replies, still smiling as you collect your phone. His eyes are sparkling with something cheeky when you appear back in frame.
Ryland’s dressed down, in one of those dumb science t-shirts he wears on ‘Casual Fridays’ as it is called in staff meetings. This one’s dark blue and has the periodic table on it in worn down white transfer ink. You’ve seen it enough to know the punch line sprawled over his lower stomach even though it’s not in frame. I wear this shirt periodically. He finds an extra layer in humor that the shirt is factually correct as well, that he does in fact, wear the shirt in regular intervals as he’d explained to you during a free-period on one of those casual Fridays.
He’s at his kitchen bench, phone propped up against something, while he taps away at his laptop. You’ve not actually been to Ryland’s apartment before, but it sorta feels like you have, the cramped studio always on display in the back of video calls like this one.
It’s just one long rectangle. Kitchen by the front door, a bench, a gap that is probably intended for a kitchen table but he’s stuck a desk there instead, his bed that’s almost always unmade with a tv wall mounted across from it, and a balcony. Like this, you can see the expanse of it behind him. The stacks of paper piled up on his desk, the extra monitors and little trinkets gifted from students, the sage green sheets of his bed, peeled back on one side, sun shining in through his big glass balcony doors. Honesty, you kind of want to see the view from his apartment in person, he’s a little higher up than you are, in a better part of the city too.
Ryland’s not brushed his hair, it’s all spiked up in different directions and you wonder if the mug he’s been sipping from, periodically, is his morning cup even though it’s just past ten. He’s blinking slow behind his glasses, sitting a little too still for his brain to be fully functional yet.
“I’m sure the kids will love it. Harder to spell on their assessment sheets, though.” You can imagine it, the staff badge, the name on his board in fun bubble writing where it would stay untouched for a whole school term.
You flip the camera, showing him the dress he’s been complaining about not understanding for the last half hour over text before he gave up and called you.
It’s cute, how his head tilts and he leans towards his phone for a second before just picking it up and holding it close enough so his eyes and forehead are just about all that is in frame. “Is that velvet?”
“It’s fake satin. I think.”
“Fake satin?” He repeats, confused.
The dress was one you already owned, bought a year or so ago for another friend’s wedding that you had attended alone but not felt crappy about, even if it did seem like everyone your age was getting married nowadays. It’s got a fitted bodice, but there fabric is a little drapey, looks like it pools over the chest and down towards the fluid skirt. "Wasn't expensive enough to be real satin.”
“Okay, I know what you mean by delicate straps now.” That had been his main hang up, whining about, What do you mean delicate straps? Like they’re about to break?, swearing that the shit he was googling was just not helping the mental image considering there were about six different results for everything.
“Yeah, and here, the lace up back.” You say, stepping up to twist the dress away from where it sat flush against the curtains to show the corset style back, with thin cord lace just a little thinner than the straps.
“Isn’t that going to be a nightmare to put on?” He asks, squinting still.
“There’s a zip.” You say, dragging the little hidden zipper down, showing him how the dress fabric parts and slips open. “So it’s fairly easy to get on. The cords are about as tight as they should be anyway, it isn't hard to pull to fit.”
You fumble a little trying to get the zip back up but eventually just conceded to leave out like that until you put the dress away. When you glance down at your phone, Ryland has moved, no longer sitting down and if you had to guess, is now walking the length of his apartment instead. He looks a little distressed.
“Come on, you’ve got the easy part.” You try, a little concerned he’s about to say he shouldn’t go. “You just have to put on a suit.”
“I can’t just ‘put on a suit’.” He whines, flopping down onto his bed like the world is ending. “I’m supposed to be like, your big ‘fuck you’ to the girl who got with your ex. I’m supposed to look good with you. I don’t know if I have a suit nice enough for that dress.”
“Ryland. It’s not about saying ‘fuck you’ to Daisy, or pulling some revenge stunt. I just didn’t want to go alone like a loser when I said I was bringing someone.” You can’t really help the little breathy laugh that weaves its way though his name, because he sounds like you did four days ago acting like the world was about to end, face down on the lunch table. “You don’t have to come.”
“No, I’m coming. I just need to go through my wardrobe.” He’s cute, you decide, in a round-about sort of way. The determination to play this self elected role well, to perfect it and give it his all, like he does with everything else in his life. The whole situation was elevating your ‘aesthetic appreciation’ of Ryland that you’d been attempting to suppress, to a new sort of level.
You flop down on your own bed, roll over on your side and let him derail the conversation towards lesson planning, listen to him talk about the plans he has for the next weeks worth of classes, a couple of activities he’s got in the works. All while you consider the pros and cons of having him beside you instead.
Ryland was probably the teacher you got on best with at work, despite being from two very different teaching areas. When he’d first arrived, you’d assumed he would be a little pretentious, with his Phd and professional experience beyond the classroom. You weren't expecting him to be so awkward. The children took to him so quickly, and Ryland had told you time and time again that he doesn't understand why they think he’s cool.
Over the years you’ve found that he can be cocky, in certain bouts of confidence seemingly appearing via divine-intervention. A local bar had run trivia nights for some six odd months, and it had unleashed a beast within him.
On Monday afternoon he sent you a photo. A little black bag with a logo you’d googled, realising it was a menswear store before the second photo had come though. A tie, sleek navy like your dress, rolled up neatly with a matching pocket square beside it, both nestled in a box that screamed expensive. You’d sent back a random string of praise, imagining him lulling it over in the store. It was nearly five in the afternoon, he’d left work pretty much on the final bell. You wonder how long he spent comparing the seemingly endless ties the shop’s online store offered, considering what would match best to your dress.
It makes you a little giddy, to be honest, has you dreaming of a situation where you’d asked him to come to the wedding, or where you’d already been together long enough that it was simply a given when the invitation turned up in your mail box.
Neither of you mention it during school hours, not keen on the kids hearing whispers of you and Ryland doing anything outside work hours- students will take anything and run with it.
But he messages you about it constantly. Makes a plan; he’d come to your apartment and you would uber from there to the venue, it was a sunset ceremony and evening reception. He lived close enough that it was a brisk walk or quick bus trip. He pointedly mentions that he would not be cycling- ‘In a suit? God, never’- and makes sure you know that the uber would also drop you both back to your flat and he’d walk home or take another separate uber.
There’s talk about your ‘backstory’, which he takes as seriously as he does exam periods. You tell him it’s not super necessary, that saying you met at work is more than enough exposition for the gaggle of college friends you’d not seen in years. But he was never one to do things in halves.
“We obviously would have met at school.” He says, like it’s a given. Ryland is laid out on the reading rug at the back of your classroom, staring at the ceiling. And the fake clouds that are actually just a hobby-fill glue gunned to paper and taped to the ceiling, he’d turned the fairy lights that are threaded though them on before he’d decided the floor was his resting place. “Maybe trivia is where it happened. We liked trivia.”
“We did like trivia.” You agree, pointedly.
It’s almost impossible to not just sit there and watch him, the student folders that you’re sorting worksheets into acting as a very inefficient distraction.
He’s got a button down on, some pale blue that looks nice under his grey wool blazer. The pale wash jeans and white converse are a bit more casual, but he wears the combination well. Too well. Laid out like this, with one knee up, he looks far too attractive for you to swallow. Glasses pulled down to hang off his jaw, sitting there catching the afternoon light as it came through the windows, casting rainbow refractions onto the back wall.
“Maybe trivia was a date. What would you have done?”
“If you’d asked me to trivia as a date?” You glance up. He’s already looking at you, head tipped to the side, something soft, tentative there in his eyes.
“Yeah.” You can see the way his throat bobs when he swallows, how his chest rises with each breath.
Ryland sounds… nervous, in a way that does remind you of the first trivia night you’d gone to. He’d been dressed similarly there, you remember thinking he looked nice, polished up a little more than he did in the school day with dress shoes and what smelt like cologne. Handsome where he waited by the entrance, backlit by the bar’s warm lighting. He’d been a little twitchy for the first hour or so, but settled into himself by round two.
With the way he’s looking at you, now as he plans out the false scenario that’s beginning to sound a lot more like a confession, you’re starting to get the idea that trivia could have been a date. If either of you had put it into words.
“Enjoyed it, probably.”
“Really?” He looks shy, a bit of a flush working its way up his cheeks.
You smile at him, thinking about how nice it would have been to kiss him in that bar with a sweet cocktail on your lips, dizzy from his flattery about your trivia skills. You hum, nodding a little as you look at the folders and sheets spread out over your desk, feeling a flush rise to your own cheeks.
He knocks when you’re halfway through lacing up the back of your dress, holding the cords with one hand as you open the door. Ryland’s not been to your apartment before, something you’d failed to realise until he called you and asked during his walk over, if you’d have to buzz him in.
He was appalled to find out the front door to your building was sporting a broken lock and had been tied back with a length of rope for the last two months while the landlords procrastinated fixing it.
“See,” You say, opening the door for him, keeping it propped open with your foot as he shuffles in. “My door locks.”
“Still one less lock that you’re supposed to have.” he grumbles, stepping out of his very nice dress shoes. They look expensive- black leather shined up propper.
Actually, Ryland looks expensive.
“You look nice,” he says, smiling a little shy, as if the compliment had just slipped out and he was supposed to be embarrassed about that.
“I uh,” You pause, swallowing thickly.
Holy fuck he looks good in a suit. It’s the only thought spinning around your head. It’s a proper one, tailor made no doubt. Blazer, slacks and undershirt, all three of them a deep inky black. The navy tie he’d sent you a photo of is done up around his neck in a knot neater than you’ve ever seen him wear to work. The pocket square is folded too, fluffed up with a little volume that suggests he did so intentionally.
Suddenly you’re reminded of all those times he’d complained about all the formal conferences and charity gala’s he’d attended during his days in academia. You realise you have made a grave error.
There have always been little parts about Ryland that oozed wealth, the glasses he wore for one, that he told you were antique when you’d asked. The watch on his wrist that you thought looked like some practical sporty thing but found out was actually worth three months rent when you’d googled it out of curiosity. These little things fall out of the spotlight and become footnotes that are often ignored when he’s in his classroom, or tiny apartment.
Dressed in such a nice suit, here in you apartment definitely wearing cologne- the same from that very first trivia night, something a little warm, woodsy like oaky bourbon, sharp and contrary to the fresh nothingness he smelt like at work- Ryland seemed so far beyond you.
“You look good.” You manage, letting the door slip shut and dropping the lace of your dress, it loses its tension a little but stays in the same spot for the most part, to run a hand over the lapel of his blazer. “How long have you had this?”
“Ages. Dug it out of the back of my closet. A little tighter than when I last wore it, but it will do the trick. Right?” He tacks that last bit on, like he’s waiting with baited breath for your approval.
“I’ll say.” You slide your hand down the lapel a little bit, down over the press of his chest. The tightness just shows the subtlety of his build, lean muscle that comes from idle exercise and good diet, maybe even a splash of genetics. He’s tidied his facial hair up a little, slid the electric razor over all of it to make sure it’s the same length, no doubt. Ryalnd’s still got his glasses on, you were a little worried he might have opted for contacts and are very relieved you get to see this outfit complete with the lenses that frame his face so well.
With a realisation you might be getting a little lost in your head, you drop your hand, turning to walk further into your apartment, towards the couch where your shoes for the night sat on the floor. “Right, we'll, I'm nearly ready. The uber will be here soon.”
“Do you need a hand?” Ryland asks, and you’re about to turn, ask him, ‘with what’ when you feel his fingertips against the small of your back. It sends a jolt though your skin, he’s cold. From the outside air, where as you’ve been nice and cosy with the heat on while you’d done your hair and make up.
Goosebumps rise under his hands as they gather the ties for the back of your dress. Something low swoops in your gut, like the dip of a roller coaster, free falling as he chuckles a little behind you. “Sorry, cold fingers.”
You swallow. “It’s.. it’s okay.”
“How tight?” He asks, giving the strings a gentle tug. You almost sway with the moment, feeling a little swept off your feet already.
“Bit tighter.” You manage, as he presses a flat palm against the small of your back, over the criss-crossing cord, and gathers both ties in one hand to pull slow and firm. It tugs you back into his hand, a steadier hold than you’d expected.
“There?” He questions when the dress is pulled in to sit flush with your skin but not dig in. You get the feeling he might have done some research, when he plucks at each string to even them out and make sure none of them are too tight, on how these dresses are supposed to sit.
“Yeah, perfect.” It leaves you like a sigh, as his palm dips, brushes where the zipper sits before pulling back to tie a neat bow, tugging the cords out carefully so both loops are even.
All of it has you lightheaded, directing more effort than necessary to get yourself to the couch and pull your heels on, black mary janes that are comfortable enough to walk in. As you fiddle with the buckles, you eye him.
Ryland’s hair is tousled, intentionally a little messy, not combed or slicked back. Looks like it would be nice to run your fingers though, and you find yourself wondering if that’s why he’d opted for the style, if he’s here, dressed up as the guy with ‘better hair and a better jawline’ that Margot had pitched, unaware that he already was exactly who he’s trying to be.
He holds an arm out for you to loop yours though, walking down the stairs in steady but slowed steps. You smile. “Wow, full gentleman experience.”
“I told you, I can't just ‘put on a suit’. It’s more than that.” He chides jokingly, and you pity the version of you that didn’t realise this was an option.
He opens the door for you- the car door, the door into the building door tied back by a rope (he glares at it when you pass it)- then rounds the back of the little toyota that’s polished up to try and seem fancier than it was. You don’t talk much on your way to the venue, comfortable silence that the driver thankfully settles into.
It’s nearing sundown when you pull into the driveway, a big circular road that’s already crammed with other cars and guests climbing out.
“You can just let us out here.” Ryland says to the uber driver, unbuckling his seatbelt to hop out, then rounding the car again to open your door, hand held out like it’s necessary, when the car is nowhere near low or high enough to warrant such assistance.
You place your palm in his anyway, letting him pull you from the car, no more temperature disparity in your hands since you’ve both been in the car for fifteen minutes, but it still makes your skin tingle. He’s got cufflinks, the same pale gold as his glasses, in the shape of atoms. You flick one lightly. “I like these.”
He smiles, something a little smothered like he’s trying to stamp it down from a grin as he threads his arm though yours again, beginning the small walk to the venue's front steps. “Well I like your dress, so I think we’re even.”
It’s a ballroom, with these big stained glass windows in the room they hold ceremonies in, you’d seen some lovely shots on the venue’s website of sunset light streaming through them. Imagining Ryland in the warm sunlight has you in a good mood, he’s always suited it, even if the city’s never had much to offer.
“Not too much for our first date?” You tease.
Something like a laugh tumbles out of his lips, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “First date was trivia- and you were underdressed. Keep up.”
You flush, crowding a little closer to his side to make it through the entryway without shoulder checking anyone. Had you been? It was so long ago you could hardly remember anything other than jeans, tight ones that dug into your waist when you sat down- tight jeans hardly felt like being underdressed, they probably meant you wanted him to stare at your ass. Either way you let him have the win, as minute as it is.
Doesn't really matter what you wore back then when you’ve got him like this now.
Together you sit about halfway down on the bride’s side, the pew’s nearly empty, only someone on the other end you don’t know but looks vaguely enough like Daisy, that's you’d guess extended family.
“So why’d you like this guy so much?” Ryland asks, quiet enough for it to just stay between the two of you. He’s glancing around, but his eyes keep bouncing back to Jack at the front of the venue, where he’s talking to gaggle of similarly dressed guys, his groomsmen.
“What?”
“Him,” Ryland says, tipping his head a little to gesture at Jack. “What had you talking about soulmates? Couldn't just be the hair, tons of guys have good hair.”
“They do.” You answer, raising a hand to tangle one of the longer stands where it’s dangling over his forehead around your pointer finger and give it a light tug. Ryland’s eyes settle on you, like there’s nothing else to look at. “He made me feel like the only girl in the world.”
“That’s a cliche.” He refutes. “And a song lyric.”
You smile. “I’m serious. He’s like that with every girl he went out with. He’s like it with Daisy. He just loses sight of every other woman, so attentive.”
Ryland stays silent for a moment, eyes searching for something in yours. Maybe permission, or a want, for him to keep digging, it’s almost as if he’s scared what he might find. “What'd he do? To make you feel like that?”
It’s cute, how nervous he is, despite the fact it feels as though all week, the pair of you have been laying this ground work, a path to follow that will lead you somewhere inevitable, like a trivia date, or the messy sprawled sage green sheets or Ryland’s bed. You smile at him, wondering if he’s thought about you in them. You wonder if he knows how easily you could be, that you might just follow him to the edge of the universe.
Still, you answer his question, offering a peek into your brain, the way you used to operate when teenage giddiness was closer than adult yearning. "Took me dancing. Kissed me slowly, cared about how I wanted things to go. It was like he just couldn’t stop looking at me, for me. It was intoxicating.”
“I can’t.” Ryland blurts out, all reckless abandon, and he’s looking at you like you’ve already kissed him breathless just by being here. You let your leg shift to press the length of your thigh against his, warm even through the layers of fabric.
You breathe in deep through your nose, the scent of his cologne sticking dizzyingly to the air, a scent you think is enough to get drunk on even without the assistance of wedding champagne. "Can't what?”
“Stop looking at you.” He clarifies, eyes darting down to your lips. “I can do the other things though.”
A flutter knocks about your chest, unsteady and uncoordinated. “Yeah, you like dancing Doctor Grace?”
“If it’s with you.” He amends.
“And slow kissing? You like that too?”
“Yeah I do.” He’s not even trying to hide it now, gaze settled on the dusty pink line of your lips, his own a little slick with spit when he darts his tongue out to trace one quick line along them.
You almost asked him to prove it, but in your peripherals, down the aisle and pausing at the sight of you, was Macey, another one of your college friends, smiling. So you place a hand on Ryland's thigh, just above his knee. “Good. Really good.”
Ryland looks dizzy with the praise, like it’s all rushed straight to his head.
“Hey Macey, good to see you.” You greet, using your hand on Ryland's knee to tip his legs towards you, making room for Macey to shuffle into the pew.
“Oh my god, good to see you too! It's been awhile, hasn’t it?” She leans down a little awkwardly to wrap you in a hug as you half stand, and it’s good to see someone after so long, to look at them and remember times when things were simpler and you were allowed to be a little stupid, a little dangerous. It’s nice to see her here, for her to sit next to you- Macey’s always encouraged you to be a little wild, and with the way Ryland’s been looking at you all night, you might need her ego-bosting tonight.
“I’m Macey, nice to meet you.” She extends a hand to Ryland over your lap and he shakes it curtly, offering his own introduction.
There’s a big rock on her finger, and you remember seeing it on an instagram post, some dreamy forest scenery with a ‘coming soon to a theatre near you’ caption under it.
“I suppose it will be your wedding next then,” You tease, “Where’s Jamie?”
“Oh she had a work trip, couldn't avoid it. She wanted to come though.” Macey waves off. Her and her fiance met on some film set, both camera operators, at the time, although you faintly recall reading something about Jamie’s name working its way up to director for some upcoming project, amongst the throws of social media posts from people who once knew everything about you and now you only see once every few years.
“So Ryland,” Macey starts with a glimmer in her eyes, something evil and mischievous that throws you back to seeing her in the living room with a bottle of tequila and monopoly board. “How’d you two meet?”
“We teach at the same school,” He grins, a hand sliding to your knee, just along the inside of it, where your dress fabric hangs low with slack, enough for his palm to press there, thumb drawing slow lines back and forth. “A little cliche but I don’t mind.”
Macey smiles, fans her face a little like that’s just soooo romantic. “What do you teach?”
“Science, opposites attract I guess.”
“Please tell me you used that line.” She practically swoons.
Ryland huffs a little laugh. “No, the kids threw that one at me actually.”
“Really?” You question, a raised eyebrow because that was not part of the backstory he’d been cooking up all week.
“Oh yeah. You should hear them. “Mr. Grace, you and Miss are ,like perfect for each other. You should ask her to the spring dance. They’re relentless, I swear.”
He pitches his voice a little, lazy tones and improper grammar leaking out in the way it did when he did impressions of your students and you can’t help but giggle a little.
“Their heads might explode when they find out.” Macey laughs too, then like a stroke of inspiration, slaps her hand against your arm a few times in pure, unrestrained excitement. “God- remember when we found out Professor Morisaki and Professor Collins were married? Holy shit it was like our heads exploded.”
You bark a laugh, muffling it under your hand considering the rather low level of idle chatter in the venue. “Oh my god, I forgot about that.”
“Professors of yours?” Ryland asks, this soft smile spread across his lips still.
“Yeah, we were doing a car-wash fundraiser! They were kissing in the background of one of our photos!” Macey still whispers gossip like she did in college, like your students do now.
Ryland looks a little red in the face when he asks. “A car wash fundraiser?”
Macey smirks, always too good at picking things up from others' words and you kind of want to stomp your heel over her toes to tell her off before you remember how this evening had been going so far. “Oh? Don’t you know? We were a little wild in college.”
You scoff. “A little?”
“Okay, a lot.” She corrects. “The car wash was an annual thing. White tshirts, bikinis. There’s definitely pictures. I have pictures.”
“Macey.” You scold, mostly joking.
She shrugs, straightens up and sits to face the fronts, pointedly not looking at you with a smirk on her face. “Hey- I’m just reminiscing on good times. Don’t you remember the kissing booth we ran? Of course you do you were the most requested-”
Now you stomp your foot onto hers, although she doesn’t do anything but laugh to herself.
Ryland is back to that dazed look, like he’s on some far off planet in his mind, when he murmurs, "Kissing booth?”
You glare at Macey, for a sharp moment. Before patting one hand on Ryland’s chest, leaning in close when you say, loud enough for Macey to hear. “Tell you about it later, handsome.”
He ducks his head a little close to you, a tiny little movement that stops as soon as it starts. His cheeks are the reddest you’d ever seen, looking a lot like he’s about to kiss you now, when there’s a music cue somewhere further up the aisle and a hush falls over everyone. He doesn't look away at first, eyes glued to yours for a long second before he bites his lower lip, to stop himself saying something and reaches a hand up to lace his fingers together with yours over his chest. He pulls it gently to his lap, smothering it in between his warm palms, fiddling with your fingers as the ceremony starts.
It’s beautiful, truly. The light lowered through the stained glass windows, reflecting and casting colour across the whole room, gentle music and teary vows. Picturesque really, and it reminded you of that time you’d all made ‘vision boards’ as a bonding activity, and Daisy had a little corner on hers that outlined the life she’d like to live, from a small sunset ceremony to the little white picket fence outside a cottage. You’re happy she’s finally arrived there, that she has a man who’s willing to give her everything she’d dreamed of.
You tell her as much, when you catch the pair of them in the reception hall. A warm hug for each of them and a firm hand shake between Jack and Ryland. It’s a lot less daunting than you had thought it would be, seeing them with the knot tied, no bad blood lingering or awkwardness about what once was. Just contentedness, with where your lives had led you each.
The food is good and the atmosphere is better, seeing people from a previous life chapter all reunited, laughing and catching up. The reception is held in a ball room, with gorgeous polished hard wood floors and lovely low lighting that hangs from the ceiling in delicate chandeliers. There’s a classical band, a memento board for people to take polaroids and write well wishes on them, a corner with photos from Both Daisy and Jack’s lives, in albums and tacked up on walls, showing where they meet and things bleed together into their future. All of it’s beautiful.
It’s heading into the later part of the night, when some people have excused themselves and cake has been cut, a hefty supply of the champagne depleted, that a nice slow song comes on.
You aren’t really paying that much attention to it, until you see Ryland shift beside you, rising and holding out one hand, palm up, towards you. “Care to dance?”
Something warm spreads over your face, a flush probably, as you lay a hand in his and he ever so gently pulls you to your feet, right in close to him. He leans down again, lips pressing feather-light to your temple before he leads you towards the dance floor.
It’s littered with other couples, celebrating the love they have for each other as well as the bride and groom.
All of it has you a little dizzy, settling a hand on Ryland’s shoulder as his palm slides around your waist, fingers slowing around the lace up back of your dress, pressing into your skin with gentle intent. He’s warm, firm against you, breath fanning across your cheek as you look up at him. “I know this isn’t the kind of dancing you meant, but it’s the best I can do for now.”
You humm, feet shifting in time with his, a slow waltz you weren’t even aware he knew. “I think I prefer this kind of dancing nowadays.”
Ryland’s lips tick up into a smile. “Yeah?”
He looks as good in the warm lamp light as he does in sunlight, kissing across his tanned skin and stubble, showing off the highlights of his hair. You want to run your hands through it, press a kiss to the scruff of his jaw. You settle on talking instead, worried he’s not one for such public displays of affection. “Left my wild nights behind in college.”
He sighs, like this is a devastating blow, hanging his head slightly, glasses slipping a smidge down his nose. “A shame. I was looking forwards to an appearance.”
You purse your lips, lifting the hand from his shoulder to cup his jaw, tilting his head back up a little, the pad of your thumb pressing his glasses back up to where they're supposed to sit. “Might do a private showing. Just for you.”
“You going to wash my car?” He asks, teasing. Eyes following the movement of your hand as it slips back down into place on his shoulder.
Your forehead falls, pressing against his collar bone as a furious blush blooms over your face, the worst it has been all night, murmuring, “You don’t have a car.”
He must have known what you were going to say, or some semblance of it because you certainly weren’t speaking loud enough for him to catch all of it, but he still sighs, a little dramatic. “Guess we’ll have to go with the kissing booth then.”
You lift your head a little, to look up at him where he’s smiling down, mirth dancing about in his eyes. “Oh, what a shame.”
The drawl has him crack a grin, cheeks flushed as he looks away. Fingers dancing slowly along the skin of your back, between the cords he’d tied up so perfectly for you.
For you, all of it. His nice suit he’d dug out from the back of his closet, the smart shoes nudging against yours with every step of the waltz. Ryland would do a lot for you, the realisation comes a little late, considering everything. You lean forwards a little, resting your cheek on his chest, as the song slows right down, indulgent.
“You got plans after this?” You ask, and it sounds so cheesy, so bland once it’s left your lips.
Still, when he answers, the smile is audible in Ryland’s voice. “Thought I was getting a private show. Is that offer off the table?”
“Think I can manage it,” You murmur, listening to the final few chords echo about the ball room, basking in the way his voice had rippled and rumbled through his chest, low against your cheek.
He lingers for a few seconds in the quiet, holding you close against his chest. You wonder if he, too, is basking in it. The closeness, the idea of having something that you’ve both been pretending couldn’t happen, wasn’t there in the air of exhaled breaths and weighted stares.
When he pulls back, there is nothing but adoration in his eyes, hand that holds yours falling low, but not releasing it, palm soft against your waist, almost as if he doesn't want to let you go just yet. “Wanna get out of here?”
“Bit forward, Ryland,” You tease, “we’ve not even taken photos yet.”
His eyes follow yours to the polaroid board in the corner, considers it for a moment before he’s pulling you gently by the grasp of his hand around yours, towards it.
The polaroid camera is a little hand held thing, there’s a stand for it, and poster board instructions on how to set a timer delay.
Ryland insists on taking one of just you, and while you’re grinning, trying to convince him to join you against the black fabric backdrop, the shutter goes off.
He rolls his eyes, but lets you drag him in beside you for the next photo. The timer is set, and just as you’re preparing to smile, something a little sweet and knowing, he gets one hand around the small of your back, knocks one of those very smart shoes against your heel and tilts you into a dip. It leaves you a little breathless, as he smiles, nose almost touching yours, shutter flashing off to the side.
He lets you choose which photo goes on the memo board. “Whichever one you don’t put up there, I’m keeping.”
You look a little silly in both, at least you think as much, caught off guard, and laughing a little out of breath. Ryland insists you look amazing in both. Something a bit selfish pulls at your gut, as you apprise both photos, and eventually, hand the one of you and Ryland to him- liking the idea of getting to see it again, of having a physical reminder of the night you two have spent together.
He grins like he’s won something, pulling his wallet out from his jacket pocket- a crisp brown leather that looks worn but well cared for- and to your mortification, tucks the photo into the clear slot. The one most people put their licences, or photos of loved ones, like heart-shaped lockets back in the old days. Ryland says nothing on the matter and he folds his wallet back up and slides it back into his pocket, waiting for you to write your message on the other polaroid’s back.
You scrawl some comment about happy endings and humble crazy beginnings, Signing your name on the bottom under the image of your laughter, and tack it up on the board next to the one Macey’s left.
Ryland’s got his arm out, hooked there for you to loop yours through again.
You manage to catch Daisy by the bar on your way out, and give her a tight hug, telling her again how beautiful the wedding has been, how happy you were for her.
The night air is crisp and the second you’re outside, waiting for the uber that’s just a few minutes away, Ryland strips off his suit jacket, draping it over your shoulders with a lack of hesitation that makes it seems as if he’s been waiting to do it all night.
You look at him and raise a brow, but don’t say anything when you catch sight of his pleased smile. It’s almost devastating to realise he looks even better in just the black button down and tie than he did in the full suit.
Again, the drive is mostly silent, but you notice pointedly, that you’re not going back to your apartment. And when you tilt Ryalnd’s phone and tap the screen awake, you recognise his street name in the trip’s destination.
“Presumptious.” You smile.
He grins back, lets a warm palm wander to the curve of your knee, fingers curling around it then venturing to settle a little higher around your thigh. “How are you going to wash my car if we don’t go to my place?”
“You don’t have a car.” You repeat, curious where all this teasing confidence has come from, if perhaps your very clear signals have finally given Ryland the means to throw out all of that unnecessary nervousness and doubt.
“Right,” He hisses, patting his other hand on his leg, as if to say ‘drat, there goes that plan’. Then he leans in close, whispers to you, “What was the back up plan again?”
“You are much bolder after a few glasses of champagne.”
He hums, a considering sort of sound that rumbles in the minimal air between you. “More so when I know I'm right.”
“And what, pray tell, are you right about?”
“That you like-like me.” He teases, like a child on the playground and if you were a little less level-headed, you might have kissed him right there, leant across the middle seat to lock lips with him in an uber.
But you don’t want the first time you kiss him to be viewed through a rear view mirror by a driver who looks very unimpressed by the conversation happening in the back seat. “You gonna prove that hypothesis in your apartment?”
“That’s very forwards of you.” He teases, head tipping down like he is going to kiss you.
Expect you turn your head, and his lips brush against your cheek, as you tut. “All scientists say experiments are supposed to be conducted in controlled environments.”
He leans back, still close enough for his warm breath to fan across your face. “You’ve been seeing other scientists? I’m heartbroken.”
“Give yourself some credit, your classes are very interesting.”
“Earsdropping, huh? Didn’t think you were the type.” He looks far too pleased by the idea that you’ve listened to him teach, like he doesn't know that when you come for something during class hours that you linger by the door and wait for him to finish whatever he’s saying, as if you could look at anything else when he was so captivating.
“I’ll Tell you exactly what type I am in,” You glance down to tap his phone awake, checking the ride estimate. “four minutes.”
He nods and you wonder if he’d get that head-rush distant expression on his face if you praised him for the patience. It’s something you want to save for later, you decide, for private. Just for you.
Ryland manages to wait, even keep his hands to himself, once you’re both out of the car, leading you though his building with a sort of reverent silence, that you get the impression wouldn’t return once broken. You stand across from each other in the elevator. With both his hands braced on the bar at hip height, Ryland fixes you with a look that echoes in the space, though the mirrors surrounding you and over the idle hum of machinery. You’re still wearing his jacket, over your shoulders, a slight barrier between the handrail and the curve of your back, as you stand with your arms crossed smiling at him.
The giddiness that bubbles up and about inside you, as you huddle in close behind him through the hallway, as he unlocks his door and lets you squeeze in past him, is something you’ve not felt in a long time. There’s not much room for childish excitement in the modern dating landscape, it feels as though everyone is in a rush, trying to get where they want to be with a relationship before it’s too late.
Ryland though, he’s here. You watch him latch the door, before he turns, standing there to let his eyes run up you again.
“Soooo,” He says, pursing his lips and tangling his hands together in front of him, like he’s suddenly nervous.
“So?” You ask, taking a few steps forwards to run your hand down the plane of his chest again, feeling it under your palm just like you did when he’d turned up at your apartment that afternoon.
“It’s been four minutes.” He swallows, and this close you can see how his adams apple bobs. Your other hand reaches up to scratch feather light against the stubble of his jaw, hand on his chest catching on the silky soft fabric of his tie, the one he’d picked out just for you.
Rylands hands are slow, one moves to the dip of your waist, landing where it had during your waltz, if not a little more firm as it presses you close against him. He catches his jacket by the collar, lets it slide back off your shoulders and hang from his grip as it slides to settle on the curve of your hip.
“It has.” You lick your lips.
Tuggin on his tie was not supposed to be a demanding thing, more so a gentle tease like you have been doing all night, stepping around that first move like it was a pitfall trap you’d never make it out of. Expect he pitches forwards much easier than you expected and Ryland's lips are pressed against yours.
Soft and still a little honeyed by the champagne, he moves slowly against you. He takes one step back, then another, pulling you with him and not letting his lips leave yours as he backs himself up against his apartment door.
Your teeth catch on his bottom lip, and a sharp inhale escapes him, almost a gasp, before he melts into the wood at his back, parting his lips and slipping his tongue up against yours.
It’s slow kissing, it’s dizzying and it’s want. Everything he’d promised you hours ago, in the afternoon sun of that venue, looking like a dream come true.
For what could be hours, you stay there, pressed up against him, kissing at his skin, until he shifts his legs, just slightly, enough to press one somewhere between yours, a soft presence halted by the fabric of your dress.
Breathless, you break the kiss and he lays a sweet peck against your temple, an echo of earlier, before he begins to nose at the line of your jaw, your neck. Kissing then sucking at the divot along your collar while you pant. “Ryland,”
He says your name, just as breathless against your skin, his hand dropping the jacket to pull at the chord of your dress.
“Is your doorway where you take all the girls?”
“There are no other girls.” He murmurs like a confession, far more earnest than you’d been prepared for.
“Just me?”
He pulls back, pupils blow wide and face flushed blotchy and red. “Yeah.”
Ryland leans forwards, crowds impossibly close until your feet begin to shuffle, back, back, back into his studio apartment. It passes in a blur as he presses in to kiss your lips again, glued to them until he deems it’s been enough backwards paces and presses another kiss to your jaw. Using his grip on your sides, Ryland turns you around, folds in around behind you.
His bed’s unmade, messy sheets splayed out in front of you, a pile of sage green cotton that feels like a promise, a sight you’ve dreamed about far too many times.
There’s pressure there, against your ass, a hard length that’s tight against his slacks and it makes your stomach swoop to know he’s so turned on by the slow kissing you’d been thinking about all night. His shuddering breath rushes like wind by your ear, as his fingers pull at the bow he’d tied himself. “Been thinking about this for too long.”
“Yeah?” You shudder when his lips find their place against your neck, sucking and biting at the skin there in a way that will probably result in a lasting reminder. “Since you laced it up?”
“Since you showed me this zipper." He pulls at it and the fabric gives, parting to sit low on your hips. Ryland kisses at the juncture of your throat, biting, and nipping.
The dress doesn’t fall, not with the straps still hanging loosely from your shoulders, but it’s a damn near thing. One of Ryland’s hands winds around your waist, dragging you back against him as he presses up with one slow grind that has him choking on a groan. His cock, still trapped in his slacks, drags between the zip and against your underwear in a tease that’s maddening with far too much still left to your imagination.
You try to turn but he’s got you wrapped up so firmly in his arms that it’s not plausible, so instead you reach a hand back, over your shoulder to tug at the knot of his tie, fingers slipping against the silky marital, catching in the bulk to it to tug. A particularly hard tug has him whining.
“Okay,” You huff out as he sucks a little harder just under your jaw that will definitely result in a hickey if you let him continue for much longer. “Come on, don’t you wanna fuck me?”
You punctuate this by groping around between you both until you get a hand over his cock, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“Need to remember this bit.” He mumbles, hand around your waist retreating to slip inside your dress from behind, curving back around so his fingers can skate over the soft skin of your stomach, tips slipping just under the waistband of your panties.
It has you clenching down on nothing and you become actually aware of how uncomfortably wet you’re beginning to get. You squeeze your thighs together, squirming in his grasp.
“Next time, Ry-” He splays his hand over your stomach, using it to press you back into him. “Ryland, come on. Need you.”
It tumbles out in a breathy whine, and it’s like you’ve said the magic words. He’s turning you around in his grasp, hands reaching up to slip the straps off your shoulders and marvel at the sight.
He swallows as you reach for his tie again, loosening it gently now you can get your fingers into the knot properly. Ryland’s hands hover nervously before settling against your rib cage, fingers brushing anxiously against the underside of your breasts.
Your dress was not one that lent itself to a bra, so you’d gone without. You had assumed that he’d figured that one out, given how he’d both laced and un-laced the back of it, but now that it’s out of the way, he’s looking at your chest like he hadn’t expected to see it so quickly.
“You mean it?” He manages, sounding all tongue tied as you pry the tie off, letting it fall onto the floor, blending into the puddle of your dress- a perfect shade match. “I.. I get a next time?”
“Yeah.” You breathe, working on his shirt buttons, one after the other, coming apart as easily as Ryland did under your gaze. “As many as you want.”
When you get to the bottom of his shirt and reach for the belt buckle, Ryland’s hands move from where they’ve been gently nudging your breasts, to your wrists, snagging them gently as he pulls them back. His shoes nudged against yours, another one of those silent signals to step back that you didn’t know you understood so well until tonight.
“Let me.” He says, one hand coming to your hip to push you gently back and down onto his bed.
You land softly, mattress springing underneath you as you shuffle back, leaning on your elbows to gaze up at him as he toes off his shoes and pulls off his socks, a little off balance like the whole path from the door has altered his centre of gravity.
Ryland is a sight, heaven-sent.
His hair’s spiked out in six different directions, and you want to scratch at his scalp and pull at the strands all over again. He slides his glasses down his nose and sets them on the nightstand. The skin of his chest is just as tanned as his arms, a wide expanse that’s begging to be marked up with your teeth and nails.
The belt buckle clinks softly in the empty air as he slips it open, unbuttoning his slacks before he shrugs the black dress shirt off. God, you want to bite his shoulders.
Your teeth clamp down on your tongue at the thought, kind of wishing the tie was in the picture so you could pull him down on top of you. Just when you’re about to reach up, aiming for his shoulder or maybe even his cheek, Ryland surprises you by taking a knee.
His fingers are a little clumsy as they wrap around the heel of your left shoe, pulling it up onto his bent knee as he fumbles with the buckle. He’s gentle with it, more careful than he was with his own shoes that are certainly worth more than your cheap pair, right shoe, then the left.
Still, it has your stomach tied up in knots to witness with just how much reverence he’s treating you. And the sight of Ryland between your legs is certainly one you could get used to.
He presses a kiss to the inside of your knee before blinking up at you. “Are you… Can I-”
Ryland cuts himself off and that same unwarranted nervousness from before takes over his face, fingers curling tightly around your ankle, as if to ground himself. You smile at him, something that feels a little too giddy and a little too much like your 20 year-old self from college, fumbling and laughing your way to bed. “What is it Ry? You’ve already got me on your bed, no need to be shy.”
He bites his bottom lip, rolling it between his teeth as he considers the words. “If you say so.”
Then he gently leads your leg, by the ankle that’s still gripped tightly in his palm, off his propped leg as he drops it to kneel, and hooks it over his shoulder. Ryland kisses a path up your calf and along the inside of your leg and with an overwhelming flood of realisation, you fall back against the bed, bracing for the moment where he presses a soft kiss on your clit, through the fabric of your underwear.
Despite his earlier hesitance, Ryland does not dilly-dally. Once he hears your shuddering breath that sounds more like a moan than anything else, he hooks a thumb though the crotch of your panties, pulls them to the side and presses another slow kiss against you.
It’s maddening, has you gasping out his name as he licks a stripe up your cunt, sighing into it like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted. He’s been teasing you long enough that when he presses two fingers along your folds, teasing the resistance of it, they sink in easily. He hooks them up, pressing up against the spongy wall and pulls another moan from your lips.
You're not sure how long Ryland spends between your legs with your hands in his hair and name on your lips, but it’s got you dizzy, clenching around his fingers as he strokes them inside you, languid and slow as he lays gentle kisses over your clit. His stubble scratches against your thighs in a way you’d expected to hate, but are getting rather fond of.
It’s a slow build that crests with you moaning his name and clenching around his fingers as his tongue slows, your hips twitching a little with overstimulation post-orgasm. He moves his kisses to the inside of your thigh, the one not hooked over his shoulder as you catch your breath and it’s highly plausible that he’s leaving another hickey there.
When he does pull back, Ryland is just as breathless as you. Cheeks flushed and chest stuttering as he licked his lips clean. His pupils are blown wide, so much so you can hardly see the blue as he gazes up at you. “You said I could fuck you, right?”
“Yeah,” you swallow, throat scratchy and dry. “You can.”
With your head still spinning from the attention and care he’s taking with you, it’s a moment before you realise his hands are back at your hips as he shuffles you around the bed, up until he can fit his palm behind your head and lift it onto a pillow that smells like him.
Ryland’s above you, propped up on one elbow and a knee to keep his weight off your body. You can feel each heavy exhale on your cheek. “Like this?”
“Just like this.” You say, nodding hand reaching up for his cheek to pull him down into another slow, languid kiss.
He leans in close, whining against your mouth as you part your legs for him to set his between and get a hand on the small of his back, pressing until he gets the hint and grinds downs. It has you both moaning and panting against each other.
You’re getting impatient, and while he must have ditched the pants somewhere between eating you out and repositioning you right side up on the mattress, he’s still got his briefs on and you’re still wearing your underwear.
“Off,” You grunt, hand pulling at the waistband of his briefs.
Ryland’s head drops to the space beside yours, just above your shoulder as he reaches a hand down to pull his underwear down over his cock and down his legs, kicking them off somewhere at the end of the bed.
He gasps, a shaky exhale hitting your skin as you wrap your hand around the length of him.
Warm and heavy in your palm, he’s bigger than you’d expected. When you slide your hand up, swiping a thumb over the head of his dick, there’s so much precum that it pools on your thumb pad. You give him a slow pump, slide eased by the wetness.
Ryland mouths at the skin of your shoulder, and the hand he’s not using to keep himself above you finds its way to your hip, slipping under your panties, pulling at them.
“Condoms. I need-” He cuts himself off with another groan, biting into your skin then kissing it softly like an apology. “I need a condom.”
His hand slips out from your underwear and he gets his knees up either side of your hips to reach over, straining for the nightstand. You take the moment to kiss along his collarbone, using the hand that’s not wrapped around him to tug your panties down, wriggling them off and down your legs.
It doesn’t go unnoticed, and he drops the condom wrapper somewhere beside your head as his gaze whips back to your face. “I was going to do that.”
He sounds a little bit thrown, like he’d really been looking forwards to pulling your panties off.
“You were also going to fuck me.” You prod, giving his cock another languid stroke, watching his face contort with pleasure as he groans. He eases himself back over you, legs between yours and his weight pressing down in a way that has you sighing in contentment.
“Not fair.” He pants, forehead dropping against yours. A hand, so gentle and far too tender comes up to brush the hair by your temple, away from your eyes. “Next time, you let me take my time, okay?”
You press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “We’ll take turns.”
The condom wrapper crinkles in your fingers and you pinch the edge of it between your teeth and rip the corner off, splitting it open with your thumb. Ryland whines, louder and needier than you’d heard him all night, when you roll it over his dick, hips bucking into your hand and cock bumping against your stomach.
He gets his hand down between your bodies, runs three of his fingers through your folds, making your breath hitch. Then he nudges your hand out of the way and runs his cock though them next. You whine, high pitched and stuttered.
It’s a slow steady push when he slips inside you, one that draws out a long moan from your lips. Ryland moans your name, panting and kissing at your throat.
“God,” he pants. “You feel so good, baby.”
A broken whine sneaks past your lips, one hand reaching up to slide around the back of his neck, to lead his face back to yours so you can kiss him all over again.
This type of slow kissing might have been your new favorite, Ryland’s tongue teasing the seam of your lips before you slip them apart, tracing the line of his teeth with your own tongue. He rolls his hips, grinding down in a slow motion. The curve of his cock drags along your walls, along that spongy spot before bumping so deep inside that it must hit your cervix.
You hook a leg up around his waist and it has his stomach pressing up against your clit when he moves again. Moaning into his mouth, you see stars. “Fuck, that’s perfect- so good.”
Your fingers tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling in a way that earns you a whine and a jerky thrust of his hips. “Y-yeah?”
“Yeah Ry- perfect. Feel so full.” The praise kicks him into gear and his slow occasional grinds turn into a building pace, hips pushing against yours and he buries himself to the hilt with every thrust.
You kiss at the line of his jaw, mouthing and biting at the stubble there. He moans, sharp exhale hitting your cheek. “‘M not gonna last much longer, sw-swetheart.”
“S’okay. Let go, baby.” You murmur by his ear, free hand slipping down to press against your clit.
The pressure alone is almost enough to tip you over the edge, pussy spasming around him. Ryland groans, loud and unrestrained, his rhythm falling apart as you do.
When he does come, he manages a couple more thrusts, shallow as they nudge up against that perfect spot inside you. Ryland whines, shaking a little with over stimulation.
“Couple more.” You moan, fingers winding tight little circles over your clit. “Almost there.”
Your spine goes stiff and a drawn-out whine slips out as you cum, clenching around the weight of him. Ryland stills inside, buried deep as he pants.
Slowly, he eases himself down over you, the gentle pressure of his weight relaxing. Ryland only takes a few moments there though, before sliding an arm under you and around your waist, slowly rolling you both, so he’s sprawled out with his back on those sage green sheets with you draped over him.
He kisses your temple, mumbling your name like a prayer. “‘S a good kissing booth. Might be a repeat customer.”
You push up a little to look at him, hands either side of his chest, and a hitched breath sputters out of his lips as you shift, his cock still inside you. “Might? What happened to ‘next time’?”
He smiles at you, hands reaching for your hips as he draws slow lines up and down your skin with his thumbs. “Well, I don’t wanna push my luck.”
“You’re not pushing anything.” You murmur, leaning back down to kiss him proper.
Once the aftershocks of your orgasm have faded and the idea of being empty no longer pulls painfully at your chest, you raise your hips up and let Ryland’s now soft cock slip out. He exhales heavily, and you lay beside him, eyes on the slow spinning ceiling fan.
He sits himself up not long after, slips the condom off and wanders off to the tiny door that you now know is his bathroom. He comes back with a damp cloth, smiling at you shyly as he cleans you up, gentle swipes over your core and along the inside of your thighs.
Ryland walks over and pulls some boxers on, then returns to the bed to slide a pair over your hips too. “You want a shirt?”
You bite your bottom lip in a poor attempt to smother a grin. “Only if it’s one of your nerdy ones.”
He kisses the smile off your lips and wanders back over to his wardrobe, throws a shirt in your general direction then goes about fixing the sheets.
You admire the sight. It had never occurred to you how nice his arms were, you want them around you again. He pulls the sheets straight, then up over you before he crawls in beside you.
“This okay?” He asks, pulling you over to lay up against him.
“More than okay.” You snuggle closer, cheek pressed against the warm plane of his chest. “Been thinking about this.”
The confession slips out in a rush of endorphins, like you’re so happy to be wrapped up in his arms and sheets, smelling like him, that you just can’t help but let him know.
You can hear the confusion in his voice when he speaks. “Having sex with me?”
No. You almost say, even though you had. It wasn’t where you were trying to go with this though. “Sleeping in your bed. With you.”
The rise and fall of his chest, of a heavy exhale, moves beneath you. “Oh.”
“I think our next date should be trivia.” You declare, a quiet sort of smile on your lips as his fingers trace slow little circles on your back between the waistband of your borrowed boxers and the ridden up hem of the shirt. “So we can get it right this time.”
“Deal.”
[ Masterlist ]
baby's first Goose fic? more proabaly on the way, although next fic published will proabaly be an oc one, with either Ryland Grace or Holland March from the nice guys.
He doesn’t get involved intentionally, but his students will always tell him whatever random pre-teen drama they’ve got going on and he lwk eats it up.
Someone’s got a crush? He might consider seating them together (if they can be trusted to not be too distracted, which isn’t often).
Oh, they’re not friends anymore? He won’t ask why, but do tell what happened on the playground yesterday. Also do your worksheet.
Even with the adults, Ryland’s just sipping coffee at the potluck they were required to have — trying not to be obviously eavesdropping — as the English teacher disses the math teacher’s pasta salad and flirts with the (married!) band director.
Idk it’s just my personal headcanon that he’s the type who doesn’t like being a part of it, but would love to be a fly on the wall or be in the loop.
Professor!ryland been living rent free in my head and there’s not enough of it out there 😩
Your one shot was *chef’s kiss* 🙂↕️ and I’m kindly asking for a part two if possible 🫶🏼
pt. 1 is here.
“Together. I wanna come with you.”
Ryland shook above you, his forehead falling to your shoulder as you pushed your knee up and in between you both, dragging it along the hard outline in his pants. His breath was hot against your bare skin.
“You don’t…that’s not why I…”
Ryland groaned deeply then, your hand replacing the pressure of your knee, cutting off his already weak attempt at forming words. You squeezed his cock, hard. The sensation was still muted through the denim he wore, but the way your fingers cupped him, molding to his length, exploring the way it was trapped against his thigh. It felt you were stroking him right through his jeans.
Ryland didn’t know what to do. It felt too good and it was hardly nothing. Some heavy petting over his pants? The majority of his brain had turned to static. The last conceivable channel of it screams at him to touch you again, so he does.
He raises his head, meets your eyes, your mouth. You are still so fuzzy, riding the endorphins of your last orgasm. So you laugh when he kisses you, again and again. Still soft, but quick, peppered, like he’s impatient to make you feel as good as you’re making him feel.
The fingers of your other hand are threaded through the hair on Ryland’s nape, playing with the strands mindlessly. You just keep caressing him there, holding him and staring up at him, smiling a little drunkenly, eyes bright. They flutter shut when Ryland slips two fingers back through your pussy.
He groans softly, getting a feel for how wet you still are. He plays with your clit again for a moment, before his fingers slip down, and for the first time, pushes them inside you.
You gasp, your back curving off the desk, your mouth falling open. Grace licks into it, tongue tracing your lips. He lets out his own whine, the feeling of your pussy wrapped around his fingers, the heat. He pumps them slowly, breathing against your open mouth, “Suppose to be about you. Yeah? Let me…let me take care of you.”
You blink at him, real slow like, and just when he thinks you’re too far gone to do anything but agree, your tongue is meeting his, out in the open. You lick at him, his lips, his chin. You pull him in by his hair. Grace feels his cock throb. He knows you felt it too by the way you squeeze him in return.
It’s when you sink your teeth into his bottom lip and tug, that Ryland lets out an honest to god whimper. You let go, breathing hard, you say, “You will take care of me. You’ll make me come again. When you fuck me.”
The warmth of your hand on his cock is gone then, replaced by the feeling of your fingers over his belt. He feels you fumbling one-handedly, finally getting a grip on it, but then you pause.
It brings Grace back. He was already looking at you, his mind just racing, but now he’s focused again and you’re staring up at him. You have the sweetest look on your face, almost vulnerable. You whisper, “Is that okay? We don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”
“My god,” Grace exhales hard, letting his forehead fall to yours, “of course I do. I want to.”
You swallow, voice still a little shaky like you’re not convinced, your fingers still paused on his belt. “Yeah?”
Grace leans in and kisses you firmly, sealing his mouth over yours. He slips his fingers from you and brings both of his hands to your face, cradling your jaw. He kisses you until your lungs are burning, and pleading for air.
He pulls away panting, voice low, “I just wanted to make you feel good…if my cock is what you want, it’s yours.”
It’s like it flips a switch in you, hearing him say that, those words. You whimper and then turn your head, slipping the fingers Grace had inside of you into your mouth. He groans, watching you taste yourself. It takes a minute before he realizes the clawing at his belt. Both of your hands now, frantic, pulling at the leather.
He doesn’t try to slow you down this time. At least, not yet. The mere thought of relief, of just getting his cock out has Ryland reaching down to help you. Together you manage.
You pop the button and pull at the waistline so the zipper practically rips down. Grace is the one to reach back and push them down over his ass, and then they’re falling down his thighs. It’s then that he hears your giggle.
His eyes snap to yours, and you press your lips together hard, trying to suppress your smile. Your own eyes are on his lap, his boxers more specifically, fingers lingering on the tops of his thighs, his hips.
Grace lifts an eyebrow, his voice dipping into that teasing tone, “What? You don’t like them?”
“I didn’t say that. They’re cute,” you say, barely getting the words out before laughing again. Grace looks back down. His boxers, briefs actually, are navy blue. There’s little doodles all over them though. Science doodles. Beakers. Elements. Cells.
Grace laughs too, straightening up to his full height. His eyes are still taking in his own silly science themed underwear, thumb snapping the band as he teases, “I’ll have you know, they’re very comfortable.”
It takes Grace a moment to realize you’re not laughing anymore, but your eyes are still locked on his underwear. No. Not his underwear, not anymore. He didn’t realize, but standing up gave you the best view of him you’ve had so far.
And there you are, staring, eyes intensely tracing the line of his cock. Ryland feels himself flush deeply. He’s tenting the fuck out of his dorky boxers, still wearing his fucking button down and tie, and you’re staring at him like he’s a piece of meat.
He’s not ready to unbox why that alone makes him so hot.
You don’t really give him the chance to. Grace would be more concerned with how fast you stood up, clamoring off the desk, if he wasn’t currently concerned with falling backwards. His ass barely meets the chair before you’re crawling into his lap, your mouth on his again.
You kiss him, and kiss him, and kiss him, and Grace can barely keep up. He eventually doesn’t try to. You take control, fingers in his hair, on his tie, tilting his head this way and that. His mind keeps tripping over itself.
You’re in his lap, naked. Completely naked.
It feels different. It feels like more.
He can feel just how warm you are. Every inch of your skin, he touches it. Where your tongue swirls with his, Ryland’s hands sweep over your entire body. He sighs into your mouth as he runs his palms along your bare back. You pull away when you feel him stop, his hands settled right above your ass.
You smile down at him now, from where you’re straddling his lap. Your lips are all swollen and puffy. “You know you are allowed to grab it, right?”
Ryland huffs, blushing still, and then he does, slowly. He lets both hands slip from the small of your back, down to your ass. He’s stoic, as much as he can be when he squeezes, watching you bite your lip and smirk.
His voice drops low again as he keeps kneading, gently at first. He hears the hitch in your breath when he spreads your cheeks though.
“Technically…technically I’m not allowed to do any of this to you, but…is touching all you’ll let me do to it?”
His own cheeks burn like hell when he says it, and he watches yours do the same. He spreads you again, letting the cool air of the classroom hit your bare pussy, your asshole. He brings the tips of his fingers to your slit, and traces it from behind.
“Dr. Grace,” you whine, voice trembling.
He pictures it, the same thing you are. Fucking you from behind like this. Taking you that way. It feels different, being touched from this direction. He slowly pushes two fingers inside, and feels the way you clench around him.
“How do you want me to fuck you?”
You blink at him, cheeks red, eyes glassy.
“My pussy or my ass?”
The back of Grace’s head hits the chair. He has to close his eyes for a second and breathe. “Oh my god, no. Forget I said that. I’m not—.”
“I’d let you.” You say it so bluntly, but it sounds so sweet. Grace feels his cock kick in his boxers.
“Fuck. Don’t,” Grace physically shakes, “Do not say that. Just tell me how you want it.”
“Can I ride you?”
“Oh my…yeah…yes.”
Your fingers, trembling, start unbuttoning Ryland’s shirt at lightening speed. You don’t even take it off completely, or his tie. It’s just left loose and hanging around his neck. You push open the fabric, and run your hands, your eyes, up and down his torso.
You honest to god feel him up, tracing the lines of his faintly defined abdominal muscles. You play with the slightly darker, dirty blonde hair that starts just below his navel and disappears into his underwear.
The way you’re staring is obscene. Like you have him under a microscope. It makes him feel like he’s being studied, like he’s a science project of yours, and Ryland has no idea why that makes his cock start to leak. He can feel it, the stickiness starting to drip out of him.
“Aaah.” He’s ripped from his mind by the pull of your fingers. In your exploring, you’d gone back up. You roll one of his nipples gently, using your short nail to press into the other.
You look into his eyes then, assessing, searching. You pinch one a little harder to gauge his reaction. “Do you like it?”
Grace chokes a little, and he nods quickly. His fingers have long slipped out of you by now, in the name of partially undressing, and letting you do this. Letting you play.
It’s so stark to how you started. Too fast, too quick.
You still got excited. Jumping his bones into the chair, pulling and pushing at his clothes frantically. But when it came to your bodies, you were slow. Intrigued.
You smiled softly, if not a little proud at the way Grace sounded as you played with his nipples. They were sensitive. Pink, and hard now. He could feel them throbbing as you pinch and release, blood rushing and pooling there.
Grace should’ve seen it coming. It was followed so quickly by the tilt of your lips. The cutest, devious little glint in your eyes flashing, before you leaned down and sucked one into your mouth.
Grace’s back arches. His hand shoots up to cradle the back of your head. He lets out a series of whines, and grunts as you flick your tongue back and forth. It’s been so long since anyone’s touched him there.
His other hand slides around to your front, cupping your chest in return. He kneads one of your tits gently, just feeling the weight of it in his palm. And that’s all it is, for the next few minutes at least. The both of you, softly groping each other, your mouth switching to his other pec.
Your sharp teeth sink into the fatty flesh. Grace’s hips lift involuntarily, rolling beneath you. It jostles you in his lap, removing your mouth, and seemingly reminding you of what you’re sitting on. His cock is throbbing, the fabric of his briefs a darker shade where he’s soaked through.
“Please,” Grace mumbles, eyes heavy. He brings his own thumbs to the waistband. Before he can do it himself, you’re pulling, grasping at the material and yanking them down. He barely raises his hips in time.
He knows. Grace knows. He feels himself burning, and blushing like crazy, all the way down his chest. It’s not something he ever goes around boosting about, but it’s undeniable. He watches your face intensely.
It wasn’t like you couldn’t tell before. You could see he was big, but when his cock springs free, bare, it slaps audibly against his lower stomach. It sounds heavy.
And Grace is just a man. A man whose cock you’re staring at, and swallowing so hard at, he can see the way your throat works. He groans, unbelievably turned off and impatient, but equally in no mood to make you rush.
He just watches you, lazily, breathing hard, body sunken into the chair. He watches you stare at him, or his cock at least. He makes it jump. His cock jerks between you, lifting away from his navel as his muscles contract. It swings softly, pulling at a shiny string of pre that connects from his tip to his stomach.
A tiny smirk pops onto his face at the way your eyes blow wide. It disappears just as quickly though, at the way your body starts slipping out of his lap. To the floor.
“Where - what are you…”
It’s like his voice is the only thing to bring you back. You’re already halfway kneeling on the cold floor, naked, before your eyes lift and leave his cock. Grace feels like he’s loosing it. The sight of you on your knees in front of him. It’s too much. You’re too close. Almost face level with his cock. It wasn’t what he promised you.
His voice is wrecked, hands still holding onto your arms, ready to pull you back up. He licks his lips. “This is suppose to be about you. You don’t…you don’t get anything from this.”
The look you give seems almost offended, and then it morphs. You scoff, and roll your eyes. You practically melt the rest of the way onto the floor, settling between his legs.
Your eyes never leave his. “And if I told you I did? If I told you I not only like it, but that it gets me wet? That I love it…”
Grace can’t breathe. His face burns and his eyes sting but he refuses to blink. You lean in, bracing your arms across his bare thighs, running your hands up his body, dodging his cock.
His voice is shot, jagged and rough when he ask, and he can’t believe he ask, but he can’t help it. “You’re telling me you like sucking cock?”
“Mmh, I do.” You laugh so smugly. Breathlessly, beautiful. Grace feels like he’s been punched in the gut. Your warm breath breezes across his skin. It fans over his balls, his cock.
“I like watching too, but I think you already knew that.”
Your voice sounds like velvet, and if Grace thought the best thing you could do was to start touching him next, he thought wrong. You punctuated your sentence by grabbing one of his own hands, and leading it between his legs.
Ryland was already shaking his head, your smile growing wider as you curled his own fingers around his cock, and then you repeated the words he said to you earlier. “Show me.”
It was wrong. It was so, so filthy. This wasn’t even you sucking his dick. It would be him, jerking off right in front of your face. Grace feels his whole body cave a little, his chest, his stomach. He searches your face, and then slowly, bashfully strokes himself once.
You beam up at him, eyes bouncing from his face to his cock. Grace lets out a shaky exhale. You track the way his fingers tighten, how they spread and how his wrist moves.
“When was the last time you…”
Your voice trails off, distracted by the new wave of pre that starts leaking out, trailing over the back of his knuckles.
Grace knows what you mean. He strokes himself again, and pushes anyway. “The last time I what?”
Your eyes flicker up to his. You smile. “Jerked off. I told you about mine…and my toys. Do you have toys?”
“Oh my…” Grace groans at your unbothered tone, your playfulness, letting his head fall back. He hears you laugh.
“Well…”
You prod teasingly, and Grace guesses you’re right. It’s only fair. He breathes heavily through his nose. “Day before last, and no. No, just my hand.”
You hum, and Grace isn’t sure if it’s meant to be a reward for his answer or not, but he chokes outright when he feels it. His fist tightens and stops mid stroke. Your tongue drags against the back of his knuckles, lapping at the tacky pre-come.
“Oh my god,” he calls out, his eyes rolling back a little.
He feels the curve of your mouth against his hand as you smile, your lips glistening in the low projector light.
“Keep going, and here.”
You pull at his hips. Grace goes. He sinks a little further down in the chair. It allows his legs to spread more, and it pushes his crotch outward, towards your face. He feels so stupidly drunk. You’re right there, your mouth. The only thing in the way is his hand, but you don’t let him stop.
You lean in, positioning your mouth right at the tip. Grace’s breath stutters in his chest. With each stroke, the head of his cock brushes your slightly parted lips, leaving them wet.
“C’mon…I want you to do it,” you whisper.
Grace whines, sweet and desperate, “Do what?”
“Take charge again…I told you I wanna suck your cock, so make me. Take care of me like you said you would.”
He lets out a sound he’s not sure he’s ever made. Something keen, something broken. You know, can see clear as day how bashful he is, how much the dirtiness of all this gets to him. You want that. Both. To watch him blush and squirm but also make you take it.
Grace’s hand shoots out to cup the base of your skull, tilting your head. He finally stops stroking himself. His fingers stay loosely wrapped around the base, just enough to swipe his cock back and forth. Dr. Grace actually paints your face now. Not gentle, teasing brushes. He fully rubs the head of his cock across your mouth, your chin, your cheeks, leaving behind trails of wetness.
“This is what you wanted?”
You whine and nod like hell, licking your lips clean.
“Open your mouth.”
Grace doesn’t take his hand from the back of your neck. He just lets his thumb come forward, resting at the hinge of your jaw. He pushes there, knowing you’ll have no choice. What he doesn’t anticipate is the way you hold your tongue out. Expectant.
His cock throbs, knowing exactly what you want. He whimpers. His whole body feels too fucking hot. He feels like he could cry.
He takes his cock and slaps it on your tongue.
It’s so filthy, degrading. Grace feels his tummy swoop. The way you’re whining for more. He slaps your cheek with it next, and then the other, watching you chase it with your mouth.
That makes something in Grace snap. Suddenly both of his hands are on your face, cradling your jaw on either side, and the next second he’s shoving his cock into your mouth.
“Mmph!” You choke in surprise.
Grace whines.
His hips are moving, thrusting. It’s not dominant, or overpowering. If anything it’s desperate, pathetic. Sloppy and shallow. He’s not using you. He’s giving you exactly what you wanted.
Grace too. It’s like you’re letting him borrow your mouth.
His white converse are planted solid on the floor, thighs trembling, his whole body pulled taunt. You keep your eyes and your mouth open, staring up at him.
Grace cries, gasping as he fucks up into your mouth. It sounds nasty. You get lost in it. That warm fuzzy headspace settles over you. The familiar spark relights between your legs too.
You reach up, gently touching his balls, hoping to push him farther. He groans, and unintentionally puts a little extra behind the next roll of his hips. His tip punches the back of your throat. It’s still so gentle, but enough to make you gag.
“Oh! I’m sorry, ‘m so sorry,” Grace starts apologizing immediately, pulling his cock back. He’s cut off by the moan you let out around him. He shivers at the vibrations, and then stares down at you in disbelief.
He stares at the way your eyes are watering from the intrusion but how you still want more, and then he spots it, your hand moving between your legs. Your fingers are playing with your clit, all because he made you choke on his cock.
All the air leaves his body. He barely gets out the words out. “Are you…”
Grace’s cock is gone. His hands, his warmth, the cold tile floors too. A wave of dizziness hits you hard as you’re lifted into the air too quickly. He picks you up completely, and slams you back down onto his desk, pinning you beneath him.
“I need to fu—.”
“Now. Now Grace,” you start begging, demanding, before he’s even finished.
He’s hovering over you, out of breath already, sweating. His shirt is still hanging off his shoulders, tie swinging between you. Hell, his shoes are still on, jeans around his ankles.
He loops his arms underneath your knees, and leans almost all the way down, pressing them to your chest. His hands clasp behind your neck.
You’re practically bent in half, folded open for him. Forehead to forehead, nose to nose. You growl impatiently, your hands sliding against his slick skin.
“Okay, okay,” Ryland shushes you, and the teasing is done.
He starts pushing in, the head of his cock spreading your pussy open. Grace isn’t teasing anymore, but he still goes slow, feeding you inch after inch of his cock.
The stretch makes you feel high, and full. So so fucking full. You try to remember to breathe. It comes out like a choke.
“I know, I know,” Ryland whispers. It only makes you whine again, the sound of his voice causing you to clench around him. He gasps at the feeling, his hips falling forward.
He sinks inside your pussy completely.
It feels like you both stop breathing for a moment. Frozen still, adjusting. You’re the first to move though. Ryland’s face stays hidden in the curve of your neck, his body locking up hard. You can hear his unsteady breathing, feel it.
“You can move,” you whisper, coaxing Grace. It’s like he doesn’t even hear you though, and the unmoving pressure of him inside you is becoming unbearable.
Your muscles flex and fight, pushing against the iron hold he has you in. With his head still tucked into your neck, you move your palms to his ribs, his abs…and you hit him.
You smack him, again and again, his own muscles coiled tight. The sound of your hits, they echo, like tiny thumps as you sob. “Dr. Grace, please…please you have to move. You have to fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck m—.”
He punches the air out of you with one thrust. Pulling out before you could finish, and pushing back in. A sob of his own racks out of him.
He trembles, his voice cracking, “Slow. We go slow.”
It is slow but deep. He’s so fucking deep. It feels like he’s in your stomach, your chest, poking between your lungs. You’re scrambling, hiccuping, hands sliding all over his body, nails digging in.
“So pretty like this,” he chokes out.
You whimper. You’re barely hanging on, eyes slipping closed. He doesn’t let you. Won’t. He grips your jaw harder, and angles your head down. It’s a stretch.
He smacks your cheek softly. “Open. Open your eyes, baby.”
You do. You see his cock, visibly wet, and shiny. You watch in awe as it disappears, and reappears, as Grace softly bullies it into you. Your pussy looks obscene. Raw and puffy. It opens, forced to swallow Ryland’s cock every time he pushes in.
“You said you like watching. Watch us. Watch me fuck you.”
He sounds so far gone. His words are so filthy but the way they’re spoken, it sounds like he’s the one begging.
The angle changes then, and Grace slows down even more, but there’s more pressure. He’s grinding now. He’s dragging his cock along your walls, searching for that spot.
You hiccup, weakly pushing at his chest, “So, ‘s big. Ryland!”
“Bigger than that fake you got stashed at home beneath your pillow, sweetheart?”
Sweetheart. Sweetheart.
You’re not sure if it’s him taunting you about your dildo, the way his cock catches on that ridgy spot in your pussy, or the sweetheart of it all that sends you over the edge, but you go regardless.
You come hard. Your ears fill with a rushing, whooshing sound. Everything goes muted. Everything but the endorphins exploding and spreading through your body. Everything but Dr. Grace and his cock.
He never stops. He fucks you through it, and you know he’s talking, saying things to you, but they sound far away.
You come back enough to realize he’s babbling, a mix of you come so pretty, that’s it, and see, you can come, you did it, ‘m so proud you.
You think he might be crying. No. He is crying.
You try to blink your way back, just enough to make out Grace’s face. His eyes and cheeks are wet, and his whimpers are another constant stream now.
It melts you. The look on his face, the way he’s staring at you like you’re something special.
Your fingers slide into his hair, and you lean up gently, brushing your mouth along the tracks of his tears, over his eyes. You even swipe your tongue across his cheek.
“Thank you,” you whisper, your own voice breaking. You let it. Your own tears come as your arms loop around his neck. His thrusts become sloppy.
“Thank you. Thank you…thank you for taking care of me.”
You ramble, hiccup, crying into his shoulder. You pepper more kisses all over his face. His eyes, his nose, his mouth. You kiss him deeply, and with your words and the taste of you and himself, and salt on his tongue, Grace comes harder than he ever has in his life.
He buries himself balls deep. Your pussy pulses around him. He feels his balls contract hard, pumping you full of his come. Fuck. Fuck, he just came inside his student. His best student.
You’re still licking into his mouth, in a very much one sided kiss. His jaw is slack. He just hums and lets you. It’s not until his arms finally give and the real weight of him settles on top of you, that you laugh, right into his mouth. Grace smiles.
“OoOh,” his voice cracks when he finally speaks again, like a pre puberty kind of crack. The pitch gets stuck in his throat and goes all wonky, and it only makes you laugh harder.
Something that should be so far from a comfortable silence, but isn’t, settles around you. It’s sweet and warm, gentle. You comb your fingers through Grace’s hair, holding him as you both come down. What you ask next, it’s laced with shyness. “That was…it was…good, right?”
Ryland’s eyes find yours, and he looks almost shocked that you even feel the need. “I think you broke me.”
It makes you snort, but you roll your eyes and look off to the side like you don’t believe him. He slowly brings his hand to your face, taps your jaw with his thumb. Your eyes find his again immediately. “No. I’m…I’m serious. That was…”
He trails off. There’s no word for it, for you. From the moment he saw you sitting in his lecture hall, something about you seemed inevitable. Grace hadn’t even considered to run from it. If anything, he’d always wondered, calculated when not if.
The look you’re giving him right now lets him know you’re not just looking for reassurance about sex, but for him to put his last chip out there. To lean into the inevitable.
He leans in and kisses you. The purest you’ve shared today. “You were perfect…can I make you dinner sometime?”
—
(This became a lot longer than I anticipated. If there’s any mistakes it’s because I have a killer headache. Tag your favorite part! Mine is when he tells her he’s proud of her for coming on his cock 😮💨 I would’ve died.)
how could you find him sexually attractive? (he's a hands-on learner by the way.)
pre-astrophage!grace who has his reservations believing he's desirable in the bedroom. good thing you're a willing teacher with a passion, and authority, for the material.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
ryland isn't helpless in the bedroom by any means – that man would 100% talk you through it.
sometimes, though, that confidence wavers. you're not a thesis he can prove or an equation he can solve for, you're a human being who – for some reason – has a romantic interest in him. That's infinitely more complicated (and a little terrifying for him).
on the contrary, you're of the belief that his attractiveness is fairly easy to study. is a study even necessary? (not like you'd complain if it was.)
it is.
you try explaining this to him one night in your shared apartment. it's not going very well. he's not very responsive to words of encouragement alone... hm, maybe apply supplemental stimuli?
your eyes darken. "do you need me to just show you?"
his throat bobs as his cheeks flare crimson. "maybe."
without further discussion, you lead him into the bedroom.
you have him undress first. slowly. "let's see... initial observations." his dark t-shirt falls to the floor. you allow only a sliver of distance between your bodies.
"lovely mouth." a brush of your thumb under his bottom lip. "best kiss-bitten. pretty words," you slip the digit passed his teeth and he welcomes it readily. "good with your tongue." with a hushed, dreamy huff, you withdraw to explore further.
"big arms." drag your nails down both his biceps, let them dig in a little. "always hugged so nicely by your sleeves."
he's tense, adorably so. muscles taut like he's trying not to sweep you up and forget about this whole experiment.
"broad chest." you flatten your palms there and his breath catches.
"strong core." a shiver as your touch trails down his stomach.
he's listening, ears straining to absorb every word. you're saying simple things, too sultry to be entirely clinical, but he's already pink around the ears.
a strangled little sound when you pull at the loops of his jeans, pressing his hips into yours. he's already hard. you have to feel it – the denim doing little to hide it.
his hands are flexing at his sides. he's literally aching to touch you. but ryland wants to listen to you, so he contains himself. this will be about you, you'd said to him.
you pull away – ever controlled – just enough to unfasten his belt, having the nerve to hum as you're systematically unravelling him. he lets you undo the button and zipper. reminds himself to inhale, exhale when he's left on display for you in only his boxer briefs.
are you going to–? you are.
his eyes are so big as you start to lower yourself, leaving gentle kisses in your wake. worshipping. memorizing. oh, and speaking of big...
"more than enough to fill me up." and you actually lick the imprint of him – a single stripe from base to tip – through the fabric of his underwear. a broken moan of your name. there's a weak spasm in his abdomen as his dick gives a desperate twitch for more pressure – more of you. he's honestly surprised that he doesn't combust right then and there. statistically, he isn't sure he'd be able to replicate that outcome.
his skin is burning. you can feel it near your face. under your hands, which are gripping his bare thighs.
poor thing.
when you stand, ryland is biting back a soft cry. your breath had been so warm on him, right where he needed.
you lick your lips. make sure he watches you do so. "take everything off. sit back on the bed, ry." barely a whisper and he's scrambling to obey. the command you hold over him is more than any worldly power he can name.
you remove your own clothes, relishing in the cool air against your own heat – molten just below the surface. your results aren't due anytime soon. you take your time.
"syllogisms," you sigh as you climb on top of him – straddling his lap, but sat forward on your knees, "are deductive tests where a conclusion is found to be either true or false given a set of assumed premises."
fuck, it's hot when you know what you're talking about. both of you are all too aware of the mere inches separating where you want the other the most. he rests his large hands on your thighs, steadying you. his thumbs are rubbing twin arcs into your skin. don't stop, please, he just can't help it.
bringing your lips down, you kiss him. despite the salacious nature of everything else, it's sweet. loving. you don't want him to forget what this is for. "so let's test that original hypothesis, yeah?"
a swallow, "okay."
"attractive things make me wet. this is fact, the main propostion." you reach down to your practically dripping core. ryland doesn't dare tear his gaze away as your cupped hand glides between your folds, gathering slick. you don't even need to push them inside to have enough to coat your palm.
can't refuse when you bring your fingers up to his mouth again. he swallows them greedily, your taste exploding across his tastebuds, pure wonder in his expression as he looks at you from under mussed blond strands.
ryland is still licking them clean when you ask, "taste that?" he's a bit dazed, but he nods, too busy to speak. "mm, good. minor premise: I'm presently aroused. another fact." you remove your fingers and his jaw clenches at the loss.
he doesn't have time to complain. because, in the next moment, you drop. you're flush against him, laving your silken sex across his in blissful rolls of your hips. the sound he makes – mixing with a gasp of your own – is unfathomably embarrassing, though he can't bring himself to care. only manages to blush a deeper red. match your rhythm.
"feel it too? 's because of you, ryland." he actually whimpers. his mind is blank, it's just consumed by youyouyou–
and then, because you must love seeing him tormented, you rise. it borders sin, a glistening thread of your essence still connecting the two of you.
his hips jolt upwards involuntarily, trying to chase the sensation you've taken away. "oh, god, I'm sorry, so sorry," he babbles, words tripping over one another.
"so," you shakily regather your composure, fraying yourself, "if physically attractive things cause me to produce lubricant, and I'm soaked from looking at and touching you, then what can you determine?"
he knows the answer. ryland looks like you just asked him to stand up in front of the class. "don't make me say it." you repeat the sequence. no change in tone – the reiteration alone does the trick. he groans. "attractive things make you wet." his grip on your thighs tightens. "I made you wet." he's looking up at you over his glasses. god, his pupils are huge. "therefore, I'm attractive."
satisfaction swells in your chest. "there you go." the praise makes him throb.
he needs to be buried inside you, now. whatever gets him that honor.
"please, I get it." "do you now?" "yes, God, please– wanna, need to feel you. all of you." "understand now? think you've earned it, hm?" "I have, I promise. I'll show you."
sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: Things would've been different between you and Ryland if you'd met on Earth. Different in a lot of ways, but not one: you fall for one another.
ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ: angsty (but not angry) confessions with a hopeful ending; please, I just want them to be happy; too many ideas and not enough time to write fleshed out fics for all of them, my curse.
ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2.1k
ᴀ/ɴ: something short (kinda)... again... before I finish something somehow more and less substantive. 🙂↕️
“Y’know,” you were analyzing a potentially nitrogen-resistent sample of Taumoeba, too tired to be anything but half-focused, “if we’d met on Earth, I would’ve wondered when you were going to ask me out.”
A dry erase marker squeak. Grace, who’d been writing something down on the whiteboard in the room, choked. Then coughed. You weren’t sure if the latter was to clear his throat or cover up the former. He… didn’t do a great job attempting either.
“Why, uh, why do you say that?” The question was tentative, the Hail Mary dim and quiet save for the mechanical whir of the spacecraft’s passive systems.
It was always quiet, what with only three inhabitants max, but… Rocky was still asleep. Asleep. Yeah.
You pulled back from the Adrian organisms. Ineffective test. Took longer to die, but not tolerant. Not surprising, the both of you were still in the early stages of conditioning the amoeba, but disappointing nonetheless. A long exhale from your nose. Then you looked up at him.
He’d resumed writing out an equation you weren’t qualified to understand, though his penmanship had turned sloppier. His hand moved slower. There was a distance between the two of you – you, at the desk with the equipment; him, standing across it with the rolling board. Despite that, you swore you saw pink tinging his ears.
“I don’t know,” you sighed, still taking him in. He was wearing one of his science pun t-shirts. A few nights ago, he’d let you borrow the one with the periodic table on it. “I’m feeling bleak,” you crooned, trying to lace a kind of humor into your tone, “makes me sentimental.”
“Okay… well, now ‘bleak’ makes it sound like a date with me would be a bad thing.” He lowered the marker, turning to face you with furrowed brows. He was looking over his glasses instead of through them. The heat in his face had been tamped down. Mostly. “Am I supposed to feel insulted?”
“Is it working?”
“That’s cruel. No.”
You shrugged flippantly, shot him a small grin as you reclined in your chair in what you hoped projected ease. “Worth a shot. Was hoping to tear you down with me.”
“You wouldn’t.” No, you wouldn’t.
The silence that fell over the two of you felt heavy. Dishonest. Unfinished. He readjusted his frames, though his eyes were still fixed on you. They were softer now. Your name spilled from his lips like he was trying to lure you out of a trace. What’s really on your mind?
Your gaze caught on the suture tape still lined across his brow. You weren’t exactly in the best shape either. After fishing for the Taumeba on Adrian, the whole crew had been pretty banged up. Grace suffered a substantial blow to the head. Half of your body was purple – you hadn't been as secure as you should’ve been in the control room. You’d still been conscious as the Hail Mary was catapulted through the atmosphere, but barely. Disoriented and practically immobile. Rocky saved the both of you. Injured, Grace’s body would’ve been too heavy for you to lug to Armaldo, even if you’d been in the right mind to do it. Rocky was resting. Needed it, the trooper.
You’d been the first to recover to functionality. Before Grace woke up, you watched over the two of them the best you could.
Better now than never.
“Thought we might’ve lost you." Not the full truth. "Thought I might’ve lost you.” There it was. He had been paying attention before, but there was something crestfallen in his expression that you couldn’t bear facing. So, you refocused on a point beyond his shoulder. Meeker, you forged on. “I realized that, between fighting for our lives and trying to save stars, I hadn’t told you everything I’d want you to know.” It felt like a confession. Not the typical kind, not the kind you’d seen in the romcoms back home. Nonetheless, it seemed to suit the definition.
A stuttering breath. Then – like you were a wounded animal he might startle, and you might’ve damn well been – he took a step towards you. Another, when your body didn’t jolt away. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make sure you were okay.” It might as well have cracked your ribs, the gentleness in which he said it. That was like him to say – worried for others before himself. Grace inhaled. “Thankfully for you, we’re not dead.” He offered you a fragile smile. “You could tell me now. If you’d like.”
The room felt much, much smaller suddenly.
A self-conscious smile. “You don’t want to hear all that, Grace.”
“Try me.”
The weak ambient lights made him too inviting. It was almost infuriating, actually, if you weren’t feeling so exposed. They draped him in perfect, subtle shadows. Highlighted the contours of his arms, brought a tenderness to his face. Any other man, stationed all the way out here in space, and you might’ve been intimidated. Not Ryland, though – no, your heart hammered for an entirely different reason.
“I think your jokes are funny.” A pause. Your pulse was too loud – in your ears it was, at least – with no noise to cover it. Could he hear it too? For a horrified moment, you hoped he’d let you stop there.
Predictably, he wasn’t dissuaged by the compliment. Ryland angled his head to the side, peering at you expectantly. Patiently. Go on.
You obeyed – stupidly, because of course you did. “You’re on my mind all the time, and not just because you’re the only other person up here. I’m always aware of where you are. It… my nerves go haywire, Grace.” Your tongue darted out to wet your lips, and – beyond your vision – Ryland tensed at the sight. “Like, you smile at me, sometimes, and all I’m thinking about is how I can earn another. I want to be that for you. And it’s embarrassing, for fuck’s sake, how I feel like I’m crushing on you like a teenager. Too scared to say something, but hopeful you’ll notice me anyway.”
The lab held its breath. If you could spare the oxygen, you might’ve tried that too. Ryland crossed the desk. Slowly, like you might evaporate upon closer inspection. It was an effort not to, truly, but you dared a glance. Even just visually, you pinpointed how his chest rose and fell… faster than usual. Finally, he turned the corner and leaned back against the edge closest to you, letting the surface support some of his weight. When you summoned the courage to look at him, your eyes met. His cheeks were pink.
“Would’ve been a shame if I died before got to hear that."
Oh, this is going to be so humiliating–
Lower, "Tell you some of my own things, too,” he murmured. That got your attention. “Like how I think of you all the time, and not always in a particularly science buddy, friend way. Seriously, it’s a wonder you haven’t caught me staring more than you already have. I get distracted all the time – brainstorming more jokes when I’m supposed to be writing observations down because I’m craving the sound of your laugh. And you’re wrong about it being embarrassing, I’m sorry.” That man is not sorry. “At least by yield. Quantifiably, it’s significantly less mortifying if your crush also feels like some floundering teenager because he likes you back.”
His admission felt like winter sunlight, an Earth memory you savored the taste of. Warmth bloomed in your chest, the petals ebbing away at the fear frozen within. Then, because you had to confirm: “Would you still feel that way if you met me… somewhere other than here?”
He started. Another prompt of your name. You responded with a despondent visage. Despite that, nothing about his expression suggested pity. Saddened, yes, but inquisitive. “Bleak follow-up, don't you think?” The slightest invitation to elaborate.
Because I don’t know how I’d feel if you wouldn’t want me unless we were forced into space first. “I don’t know.”
Ryland Grace, ever the analyst of minute details, could read between the lines. Mercifully, he didn’t pry.
The two of you existed – silently, together – with this new information. All of it. Feelings laid out in an almost involuntary tide, left vulnerable in the open air. The hand nearest to you, previously braced on the table’s edge, shifted imperceptibly in your direction.
When he spoke next, it was wrapped in something inconceivably fond. “In some parallel universe,” he smiled suddenly, a self-deprecating thing that lightened his words, “because aliens are real so that might as well be too, where we met on Earth, it probably would’ve taken me an embarrassing number of months to scrape together the courage to ask you out.” He shook his head. “I might not’ve, honestly.”
You couldn’t help it. Raising a brow, “Is it my turn to feel insulted?”
A smile – the endeared kind you so coveted – to match your artificial pout. “No. Not for lack of wanting. I– it wouldn’t have been that. I mean, you are–” he bit off the end of his sentence. Reevaluated and started anew. “I would’ve thought of you then as highly as I do now. Which is, like, really high, trust me. I just would’ve had a hard time believing you… thought of me. In that way.”
That came as a surprise. Ryland wasn’t shy per se, a pinch too forward in academia, but… reserved, definitely. Okay, so he wouldn’t be bold. That checked out. Still, the thought that he wouldn’t have been a person of interest for you? Unlikely.
You leaned forward in your chair as you studied him, the microscope sample long forgotten. “I would have.” For the first time tonight, your voice wasn’t lacking conviction.
“That,” you specified, simultaneously conceding to your earlier half-assed dismissals, “I know.”
His face burned with your vehemence. “I don’t think– how would you–?” His mouth opened, then snapped shut. Like confessing your feelings now was somehow infinitely more conceivable than if his profession hadn’t jumped to impromptu astronaut.
A memory, the one of Rocky scrambling to articulate his epiphany about the Taumoeba's taste for astrophage. “Words, Grace.”
He glowered at you through his glasses. “You’re not– that doesn’t help.”
You’re the picture of innocence. “What doesn’t?”
“Unbelievable,” he muttered, but you’d broken him down this far. Further than he’d like to admit. He’d do… God, he’d do whatever you asked of him if it meant you’d keep looking at him like that. “Okay. Okay. Assuming I didn’t chicken out, I… yeah, probably would’ve asked you out by now.”
He hesitated, the humor giving way to something timidly wistful. “I’d ask to take you to dinner – something better than space food. Possibly a movie if there was something you wanted to see. Honestly, whatever I thought you might like because I’d want my chances of you saying yes to be as high as possible. Would’ve spent way too long picking my outfit, met you at your place…” Those blue eyes were searching yours, his resolution faltering.
What he found was gentle. Kind. Expressed in a slow, affectionate blink. I would’ve liked that. You can continue. If that wasn’t enough, your fingers reached out to graze his hand. His grip on the desk had turned his knuckles white. Reflexively – responding to your touch, even if you didn’t linger – he loosened.
Defeated, he threw his head back with a gentle groan. “If that went well, and if I had the gall, maybe… maybe I would’ve tried to kiss you before you left.”
Silence. Say something, anything, please, you’re killing him– “If you tried to kiss me now, Ryland, I wouldn’t stop you.”
He brought his head down, blinking rapidly. Then – before the moment could pass due to his overthinking, before his heart just burst in his chest – he bent down and pressed his lips to yours.
You welcomed him, unhurried and sweet. Your arms looped over his shoulders. His large hands skated up to tangle in your hair, cup your face. It was slow, like you might change your mind. Not like you would. Not that you minded anything about this. It… might’ve also been because he was woefully out of practice. There was a clumsiness to him that gave that away. Although, he certainly could learn how you liked to be kissed best, should you be willing. Ryland had a doctorate after all – he’d been told he was very good at conducting research.
To prove it, he shifted his angle, fitting the two of you together perfectly. Pushed deeper. No rush. He was rewarded handsomely with your hands threading through his hair.
Ryland gave you a myriad of unfolded secrets that you drank down, tucked into your heart. When the two of you broke apart – breathing all uneven, pupils blown wide – his lips lingered to brush your forehead. A promise, one that would’ve existed on Earthen soil or the gaping maws between stars:
does anyone else like those "(number) times, (character) doesn't do (romantic thing). one time, (character) does." fics? because I am a SUCKER for it every time. (recs pleasepleaseplease)
like I remember a good one with Ryland Grace where he misses like five opportunities to kiss the reader before finally making a move. the format is subject to change in a lot of ways and I just feel like there's so many possibilities...
three times, Grace lets you borrow of his clothes. one time, he takes them off you.
Ryland Grace and a suggestive coworker with a sweet tooth!
You liked Ryland. He was intelligent without a doubt, but lacked the abrasive seriousness of your usual cohort. So, as two scientists thrown into astrophage research, you stuck together. (Okay, he might've been attractive too, but that was unrelated.)
(Additional) Bonus: he brought candy. Mostly sour Skittles and Twizzlers. Suitable. Not like you were particularly picky – the end of the world will do that to a person. Having the budget of several world powers' treasuries combined had its perks.
And it was so, so fun messing with him.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
"Ry," you greeted, entering the lab for the first time that day. Usually he called your name in response, but his mouth was preoccupied today. He still looked up, nodded in acknowledgment, though with a half-eaten Twizzler dangling between his lips.
You swiped it with a quick hand as you passed, his loss accentuated by a sputtered yelp. "Hey–" his indignation ended when he saw you were eating it.
You rolled the rope around to the side of your mouth, a fluid motion you noticed his eyes caught on. "What?" His gaze snapped back upwards. You shot him a sly grin. "I can't have a snack too?"
His throat bobbed, cheeks flushed a faint pink. Such a sweetie. "Yeah, sure, but do said snacks have to be the things I already have in my mouth?"
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
Your tongue is sticking out and you're asking him if it's dyed. You liked this game – guessing what color it was based on whatever Skittle flavor you'd favored that day. You wouldn't give him the opportunity to refuse to check beforehand.
"Why are you like this?" He'd grumble, lacking heat. Not like he always looked for you anyway. Not like he scolded you – no cheating – when you didn't want to be wrong and tried sneaking peaks in mirrors. Not like your antics kept his mood light.
Today was already an unproductive day. He did not need to be imagining the other scenarios where you'd be opened wide, so pretty, for him right now. Said like a man already too far gone.
After you've deemed his inspection complete, you close your mouth and hum thoughtfully. "Red?"
Immediately, you know you're wrong by the glint in his eyes. "Green."
You groan, throwing your head back for dramatics. "I haven't been right in days, Ryland. Days. Do I really pay that little attention to what I'm eating?"
He pats your back in faux sympathy – which, hey, that's new. Are you imagining things or is he laughing too? "Yeah, yeah. Don't act like you won't try again tomorrow."
Oh, you definitely will.
And who knows? One of these times, if he plays his card right, maybe he'll get to taste your sugared tongue for himself.
i was starting to feel myself get anxious and on the verge of a panic attack so i reread your “stay with me” fic and it started to help so tysm for your beautiful work it genuinely soothes me <3
It’s an honor to hear that ☹️🫶 I’m happy my silly little writings could help someone like that, even slightly, and I hope there is gentleness waiting for you moving forward <3
I loved your nightmare fic so much, I was wondering if I could request a sequal where they get together? 💛💛
✧ Staying With You
ʀʏʟᴀɴᴅ ɢʀᴀᴄᴇ x ᴄʀᴇᴡᴍᴀᴛᴇ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ. | ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪᴛ sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ☆彡
sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: You two are professionals. Okay, professional friends. You’re friends who sleep in the same bed and cast each other looks that last a millisecond too long and just so happen to touch one an– oh, fuck it. You’re not friends.
ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ: can be read as standalone; fluffflufffluff; wait also a bit of angst; idiots pining; Rocky thinks this is too complicated; "do you think they like me?" bro.
ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 1.9k
ᴀ/ɴ: You have no idea how happy this request makes me. 🥹🫶 I'm glad you liked my previous one, thank you!! I hope I interpreted getting together correctly as I decided to keep this one simple and fluffy – don't mind the depravity in the drafts. 😃
You're friends.
You may crawl into his bed at night. He may be waiting for you. That’s fine. What else is he supposed to do when the homie needs a little nighttime reassurance?
Sometimes he finds you alone and bundled into his covers on a late night – the kind where he's on his third cup of coffee. Something about being surrounded by him that makes you feel more comfortable. You're the only two humans in the Tau Ceti system and going through extreme stress, being attached is normal! Attachment being reaching for one another in the dark. Not for any base human instincts or because he craves a warm body, but because he just... feels better when he's holding you.
Then there was that time his skin got warm and clammy. Too much body heat with nowhere to retreat to because he’d already decided that getting up and disturbing you wasn’t an option. You’d squirmed in your sleep, blinking blearily up at him. You looked warm too.
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
“Too much?” Your voice was even. Fatigued, but level and soft. You looked calm enough, too. No nightmare then. Good. You must’ve been awake from the warmth.
“‘S fine.” He murmured back. “I could turn the temperature down.”
As he was moving to get up, somewhere around his back, your hand pressed him closer. “Don’t go,” you protested, a yawn popping your jaw. He froze. Carefully, your hand drifted down. Toyed with the hem of his shirt. “Jus’ take this off. See if it helps.” Oh. Okay.
He swallowed. Suddenly awake and very, very aware of your body next to his. “You… You’re okay with that?” He’d been going to sleep fully clothed every night, more content with burning up in Tau Ceti’s atmosphere than making you uncomfortable somehow.
You nodded, closing your eyes again. Like you were giving him that privacy, at least. Not that he’d mind being seen by you. “We can pull the covers down too.”
Who was he to complain? “Okay.” Were his hands shaking as he shucked off his shirt, letting it drop somewhere off the side of the bed? Maybe. This was bad, very bad. For crying out loud, he was a grown man! What qualms did he have about being shirtless?
He thought of those flimsy consolations for all of about fifteen seconds. Probably less. When he settled back down, back into the cocoon the two of you formed, your hands were on his bare skin. You had no more reservations touching him now that he was half naked than you did before. Nails skating lazily over his chest, across his shoulderblade – flattened your palm there as you drifted back under.
He really hoped you were too weary to notice how his muscles tightened under your touch. How you affected him so simply. He turned the temperature down before bed the next night. His composure wouldn’t… he couldn’t do that again.
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
Definitely a platonic thing, y'know?
Rocky doesn’t think so.
Since he boarded the Hail Mary, observed the magnetism between the both of you, he’d assumed you were a mated pair.
He didn’t ask questions upon his arrival. Before the translation system, the language barrier only allowed for the simplest of conversations. After the translation system? Fair game. Well, in between saving stars.
Grace holds resolute (for now): You’re just friends.
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
Not that it mattered much anymore, but he didn’t know what time it was. Past a reasonable bedtime, he knew that. You’d gone to sleep about an hour ago, brushing his arm as you passed. Your eyes were half-lidded and your body was languid with tiredness and he’d had half a mind to follow you out. By some miracle, though, he hadn’t. Or cowardice. He’d rather be here, looking at fuel conversions and star-eaters. Yeah.
Rocky, observing from his prismed habitat, trilled something unfamiliar. Grace looked up from his cup, raising his brows under slipping frames. “Why Grace not watch mate sleep, question?”
He nearly choked. Ryland managed to get the sip down. Cleared his throat, trying to think of this as one of the numerous situations where his students thought any similarly-aged woman he was seen standing next to was his secret girlfriend. Except those women hadn’t left his pulse hammering in his throat. “We– Rock, we’re not mates. We’re friends, but not… that. And they’ll be okay,” he said, disbelieving for more than one reason. “They’ve become a light sleeper recently. They’ll wake up if something’s wrong.”
The Eridian ignored the part about human sleeping habits. So strange. How could they feel safe with no one to watch? “Grace and pilot sleep together–”
“Don’t put it like that.”
“Why not, question? Is accurate. Grace and pilot sleep on chests in same sleeping quarter. Pilot always touching Grace. Grace touch back. Look at one another long time. Compatibility appears optimal. Mates, statement.”
Grace wasn’t about to explain English slang for sex to an alien lifeform. That could be someone else’s job, dangit. First, how much had he been paying attention? Second, was it really that obvious? Grace didn’t linger on that second point. “Uh, well, it’s a lot more complicated for humans than that, bud.
“Humans needlessly complicated, statement.” Was he grumbling? It sounded an awful lot like grumbling.
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
You’re not making this any easier.
One time he saw you curled up in one of his cardigans. You’d mostly shrugged the blanket off, a sliver of the bare cut of your thigh visible beneath the fabric. Were you wearing shorts? He never figured that out – he’d left. You’d only been asleep for an hour or so after that and changed right after waking up. He convinced himself the slight rosiness in your face, the way you couldn’t meet his eyes, was something he was imagining. That image plagues him at night.
(He shouldn’t be thinking about you that way. He doesn’t like what thinking about you thinking about him that way does to his vitals.)
Grace tells himself that he’s doing this because it’s how you’re most comfortable. He wants you to be comfortable. It’s what friends do for each other. You comfort him too, in some foreign, heart-pounding way. Anything else could disrupt that careful balance. Because what if he’s misinterpreting everything?
He doesn’t let himself consider that you really do think of him that way. He couldn’t do that to you.
Dr. Ryland Grace, it’s time for your wakeup call.
It happens during the simulated night, when the formalities of the day blur and slip through his fingers like sand.
He’s dreaming. He’s not sure of it at the moment, but you’re there. He’d should’ve noticed the surreality of your features, but he also thinks you just look like that. Routine maintenance, you’re saying. He opens his mouth, something about how he’ll do it. No sound comes out. You would’ve said something sly about you having the actual astronaut experience anyway. He can’t move as you suit up and leave the ship. Not to stop you. Not even to touch your arm. Can only watch as you perform your job, skillful and without wavering. Then he sees it. You’re disconnected from your tether– why are you– And then, for reasons that will never be good enough, you’re gone.
Something’s wrong wrong wrong.
He’s sweating, but he’s not hot. His body jerks upwards, hypersensitive and needing to do something – anything – for his inaction. For a moment, he scolds himself. He’s probably woken you up. He looks over.
You’re not there.
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
You hear your name from the bedroom through the walls of the Hail Mary. There’s something off about it. It’s strangled, laced with something frantic. You don’t bother finishing getting your water.
Your pace finally slows as you approach the dormitory. Squinting into the hazy darkness, you make out his back. He’s up. His shirt’s off, though you swore you left him in here with one on. Based on his body language, he looks… lost. Please don’t be a medical episode. You weren’t qualified for that.
Your throat still feels dry, but you can speak. “Ryland?” He responds instantaneously to the sound of you. Grace turns, eyes locking with yours. They startle you with their intensity. They’re wide and beautiful and sad. Relieved. He’s not wearing his glasses.
Your name’s barely out of his mouth before he’s striding towards you, enveloping you in a hug. Not the kind you’ve become accustomed to giving. The man is folded over you. He’s holding you tighter than he’s ever dared to in the past, both hands fisted into your shirt.
You’re grasping at him back. It doesn’t require any thought. His chest is heaving– “Is everything okay?” You’re transported back to that night you finally had the gall to seek him out. The first time he held you, let you listen to his heart. Except his words are now yours.
“A nightmare,” he mirrors. He’s speaking into your hair. “I thought– I don’t know what I thought.”
You ran your hands down his back, an attempt at soothing in whatever way you knew how. “I’m here. ‘S just a dream, okay? I’m– you’re okay.”
He hasn’t moved. “I need to hear you say you’re okay.” Unguarded. Pleading, even.
“I’m okay, Ryland.”
A lull. “Okay,” he’s close enough that you can feel his throat bob, “Please forgive me.”
You’re about to ask him what he’s talking about when he pulls away. In one fluid motion, like he’ll lose the nerve if he waits one more moment, Ryland Grace is cupping your face in both hands as he crushes your lips with his.
It’s like finding him in the dark, hugging him in the hallway, grazing his shoulder. Your mouth is moving against his and you’re not thinking about what you’re doing. Just that whatever it was feels right. He feels right – the hard planes of his figure flush against yours like this. The hold you had on him tightens, scrambling across his back and teasing the nape of his neck.
Ryland is kissing you softer. Reverently, a devotee at his altar. His hands are shaking, you think. Slight tremors wracking his body as he lets his hands travel – into your hair, curled around your waist. Your noses brush and you swipe your tongue experimentally against his lip. You feel his breath catch, a clipped groan as your reward.
Then, woefully, he pulls away.
The space he creates between the two of you can’t be more than a few hesitant inches. It feels too far, the air between crackling with desires unsaid and unexplored. You’d be remiss to ignore the dejection curdling in your stomach.
His hair is mussed from sleep and your hands, eyes the darkest you’ve ever seen them. “‘M sorry,” he babbles and he sounds like he genuinely means it. He begins to say your name and then stops, like he hasn’t earned it. “I didn’t mean– I mean, I did mean– I meant all of it. But, shit, you didn’t have to do that for me.” And he looks so apologetic, he really does. Mortified by his own actions. “I can go to bed. You can– you don’t have to be with me,” he runs his hand down his jaw, “like that.”
You watched him, amusement flickering within all the want behind your ribs. He actually cursed. “Ryland. I’m going to rescind all my forgiveness unless you kiss me again.”
It takes a moment for your words to register. Then – quickly, like he’s trying to make it up to you – he obliges.
sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: Touch-starved Ryland Grace meets you, who has never known personal space, on the Hail Mary. He tells himself it's nothing if you don't make a big deal about it. Then you have a dream where you lose him.
ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ: nightmare hurt/comfort; sprinkle in fluff; more romantic tension than anything.
ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 1.2k
You were never told to keep your hands to yourself as a kid, were you?
It was small gestures, really. If you were side by side, your hand would rest on his shoulder as he showed you something. You’d graze his arm passing by in the corridors. Nudge him as you laughed at one of his stupid jokes.
He certainly didn’t mind. It was albeit a bit strange to him, being shown such little affections so casually, but you didn’t act like they were anything out of your ordinary. Okay. He could do the same then.
Not that he felt abnormally warm wherever your touch had lingered. Not that he wished you wouldn’t pull yourself away, that the moments were so fleeting. Luckily, or unfortunately for his focus, you did these small actions often. He was never left pining for too long. Not that he was pining.
(Sometimes he’d do something stupid, run an unnecessary experiment, so he could ask you to take a look.)
Okay, maybe it was pining. Sue him! You were his only human contact up here and you were really great and the two of you were together constantly. Not to mention how long it’d been since someone had just… reached for him.
“Does this bother you?” The question came as a surprise to him. The two of you were taking a much needed break, eating cup noodles next to each other. He’d been careful not to choke – your leg had been leaning against his under the table. Grace lifted a brow, confused on the vagueness of what you were referring to, until you tapped his knee with yours as an indicator. “Wh– uh, no?” “That doesn’t seem very certain.” He winced. “Sorry. I just don’t think I know why you’re asking?” You paused at that, expression fading into something contemplative. “I don’t know, honestly. Just checking if we’re good, I guess.” There was something personal exposed there, that much was obvious. He wasn’t sure when he decided to say your name so tentatively, only that he followed that with, “We’re good. Promise.”
You became less timid after that, if timid could be assigned to your behavior before.
You’d started hugging him after he’d helped you with something. Playing with his hair as you were occupied with something else. The two of you decided to watch a movie in the mental health dome one night and you’d laid half across his lap like you belonged there.
His heart started beating a million light years a minute each time. Is this concerning? Should he be concerned?
He even found himself reciprocating in small ways. Brushing your hair from your eyes, rubbing your back. You didn’t flinch away, as he temporarily feared. No. Inexplicably, you seemed to relish it as much as he did.
But it was nothing. For the integrity of this mission, for his sanity, he had to tell himself it was nothing. It was human companionship. It meant something to him, sure. He couldn’t deny that. To you, though? When you’d investigated your luggage, and subsequently showed him your findings, there wasn’t a photo of you where you weren’t wrapped around the person you were taking the picture with. It was just your nature. Nothing special.
Until it was.
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
“Grace?”
He wasn’t awake. Kind of. There was a vague awareness of his name, though he was more inclined to turn over than anything. His body still ached from an unfortunate lapse in judgement with the centrifugal system a few days ago and–
“Ryland?”
His bed shifted. Cause: applied weight. Never mind, he was awake.
He mumbled something in response, successful in forming no words at all, actually. When his eyes opened, vision blurry and unfocused, he saw your outline in the soft dark. You must’ve turned a light on, a dim one. You were perched on the very edge of his bed, like you weren’t sure if you’d be allowed there.
He sat up on his elbows, drawing a blank at the sight. There were no flashing red lights. From what he was capable of seeing, you looked healthy. Should he be panicking about something? He should’ve asked that. Instead, all he got out was, “Hi.”
You smiled lightly, “Hi. Can I come in?”
The bed was made for one, but he inched to the side without another word. Slowly, painstakingly, you eased into the space he’d made. Your bodies overlapped naturally, limited by space. One of your legs nestled into the space between his, your chests touching. His arm was stretched out for you to rest your head on. You’d chosen to face him. Okay.
You sighed finally, burying your head in the crook of his neck. In moments that felt like they stretched into minutes, he realized that his other arm was held stiffly at his side. Yours was curled loosely around his middle. Should he do the same? Wait, wait, why are you here to begin with? He’s glad you are, really, he might be dreaming this whole thing, but– “Is everything okay?” His whisper was a bit ragged with sleep, but it’s still audible. Intelligible. Good start.
Grace briefly considered that you’d fallen asleep before he heard your answer – felt it. A minute shake of your head. No.
His heart, previously racing, sank. “Hey,” he reached out without thinking, pulling away just enough to– to what? He stopped himself from cupping your cheek, settling for your shoulder instead. Like normal. Except you were in your pajamas. So was he. And the both of you were in his bed, your skin near flush with his. “What happened?” He searched your face as though he could find the answer written there before you spoke. A sadness weighed your features down, something he could actually see now thanks to your proximity.
“A nightmare,” you hummed. Your voice sounded so small. Distant. “You never woke up from your coma. I was alone, never got to know you. I died because–” your breath stuttered against his collar, “–because I’m not the scientist. I wouldn’t have known what to do. Where to start.”
A nightmare. There was a lot Ryland Grace didn’t know if he could fix. The Petrova line, his commitment issues on Earth, his own memory. But he was determined that he could fix this. Hold you together through the night, at least. “It’s okay, you're okay. You're not alone now, I won’t let that happen." And then, because he could attempt brevity for your sake, "That’s a lot of pressure to leave on you, don’t you think?”
A laugh. Weak, but a laugh nonetheless. “The worst part is that, when I woke up, I only thought about the whole failing Earth thing second. My first thought was if you were still breathing.”
Was he still breathing?
He acted before he thought about his importance to you. The importance to him that you were okay, always. His hand encircled yours, guided it to his chest, and pressed it to where his heart drummed against his sternum. He filled his lungs with air a few times, more so than he needed to, for emphasis. I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.
The two of you laid there like that for a while. You, watching the rise and fall of his chest; him, watching you. When you inhaled, he inhaled. When you exhaled, he did the same. Your eyelids were growing heavier, lulled closer to sleep with every breath. Then – quietly, like you were requesting permission – you asked, “You’re with me still?”
He nodded against your head, confirming the data. “Still with you.”
You started sleeping in Ryland’s bed after that night. With him, if possible. He didn’t mind.
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